Broken Beyond Compare
by DarkElixier66
Summary: A person can only take so much pain before they break. Emotional is by far the most distressing of pain. And sometimes in order to put something back together you have to first take it apart. Eventual FredXRon.
1. Chapter 1

Title: Broken beyond Compare  
Author: Dark Elixier  
**:Warnings: **Self Mutilation : Attempted Suicide : Sexual Content : Rape : Molestation : Incest : Chan-cest : Yaoi : Swearing : Drug Use :  
Pairing: Overall Fred/Ron though we have a few…. Mishaps along the way.  
Summery: A person can only take so much pain before they break. Emotional is by far the most distressing of pain. And sometimes in order to put something back together you have to first take it apart. FredXRon.  
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, if I did Ron would belong to his elder brothers and half the characters would suddenly drop of the face of earth and into an abyss of mutant marshmallows.  
--------

My first chapter fic! And in Ron's POV no less. Aren't you proud?  
Well none-the-less here it is, I chose Fred/Ron for the fact that in all my time of "weaslycest searching" I have only ever found two stories that had that pairing. And one of them I wrote myself. How sad is that?  
So upon discovering the fact that there is so little of the pairing I decided to add to them!  
This is a rather dark-fic. And I must warn you all that it isn't going to get much better. Steadily darker as it goes on. You probably won't see any light until the ending! I'm putting Ron through an earthbound hell. So if you guys don't really like, dark situations, I wouldn't suggest reading it at all T-T!  
But if you do! Then read on!  
Well without further ado, Let the pain began!

----

Broken beyond Compare – Chapter 1

-----

I found myself once more staring out the small window of my bedroom into the darkness of night outside. It was a habit now, being awake at all sorts of ungodly hours in the night, just standing in front of the window staring into nothingness.

I couldn't sleep properly anymore. Hell if I could go two strait hours without waking up once I would practically die of shock. It just seemed as if the world of dreams had rejected me.

And why shouldn't it? I didn't even get dreams anymore, just nightmares.

I'm so unbearably twisted even my fantasies have slipped into tortured versions of themselves. No more was my mind filled with pictures one would think would fill the mind of a fourteen year old. Nope, all my thoughts, fantasies, visions, whatever you wish to call them, were filled with despair, death, pain, and blood.

So basically I'm just a messed up person.

A sigh escaped my lips as I pressed my deathly pale forehead against the cool glass. It was raining tonight. The steady beating of the drops as they fell from the heavens was nearly an intoxicating call to the land of dreams. Two years ago I would have been dead asleep, lulled by the steady sound of the falling water. Rain usually having that effect on me, but no longer was it a lullaby now it was only a further distraction.

A sudden flash of lightening illuminated the small space of my bedroom. And I caught sight of myself in the mirror at the far wall to the left of me. I scowled at the image before quickly ripping my eyes from it, I didn't want to half to look at what I had become.

I wore my usual bed outfit, though why I still dressed for bed was beyond me as I rarely slept, just a long sleeved button up shirt. That was it, simple and plain. But that wasn't what bugged me. I didn't look fourteen, more along the lines of twelve. Maybe even eleven? I had lost a considerable amount of weight. Normally I should have weighed one-hundred and thirty pounds, which was the expected weight of someone my age. How much did I actually weigh? About ninety-three pounds, maybe even less.

Pathetic isn't it?

My legs looked skeletal, it was unnerving for even me to look at. And I could clearly see every one of my ribs. Disgusting, no? Still it wasn't the most horrid thing I could see of the creature in the mirror.

Scars. Lots of them, some small, some long, all deep. They lined what I could see of my legs and thighs. And even though my shirt casted them out a view, they also lined my arms and dragged along my collarbone and abdomen.

Thus establishing that I am indeed a fucked up person. I'm a cutter, sad truth, but truth none the less.

Wired really how I can think of truth without cringing. My entire being seemed to be made on lies, I'm surprised that if someone spoke the word truth to close to me I wouldn't start shaking and screaming IT BURNS! But that's a bit off subject, I tend to ramble quite often about nothing really.

Still though, whether I liked to admit it or not, there they were.

Some turned white and smooth against the pale of my skin with time. Others red and angry fresh from razor blades and knives I had hidden all over my bedroom.

The mere sight of them disgusted me nearly into throwing up. That disgust in turn became hate, which turned into a deep sense of self-loathing, which turned into less sleeping and much less eating, turning into more self-loathing, which in turn became more cuts. All part of the twisted cycle that I call life.

My dead green eyes twitched slightly, as the beginning of dawn broke through the boundaries of night. Light began to touch the shadowed earth and I grimaced despite myself. God I hated mornings. They did nothing for me but pound into my brain that indeed I was still breathing to live through another day.

I made my way back to the torn up, blanket jumbled, bed. Another sign of a night of trying to sleep with little success. I hated the light of day, and found myself glaring hatefully from atop my comforter at the oncoming rays of the sun as if they would suddenly shatter just because I disliked them.

Yeah right.

All mornings brought were more worried glances and whispered conversations about me, from the many members of my family. I looked like a walking skeleton, who wore sweaters, long-sleeved shirts, and pants in ninety degree weather, insisting I'm actually quite cold, while everyone else is in shorts and tank tops.

Reasons for them to worry? You better believe it. And it's really quite annoying.

I continued my glaring assault on the sun until it was fully risen into the dawn sky. And even then my glares at the way my room was alight continued. With a sigh, I immediately changed into a pair of old faded jeans and a long black sweater. Once more facing the creature in the mirror so I could brush the tangles out of my now shoulder length, red, hair.

I wouldn't have even bothered dressing in the mornings had it not been for the fact that if I continued wearing my nightshirt, the scars would show. And that would lead to questions, which would lead to forced answers. And I didn't even want to think of where those answers might lead.

Probably to a nice padded white cell somewhere.

_You should already be in a padded white cell_, the annoying voice of my inner self piped up almost instantly.

I rolled my eyes, drowning in the fact that I couldn't firmly squash that pathetic voice, no matter how badly I wanted to.

I scowled at the reflection in the looking glass, as I couldn't scowl at something that was inside my mind could I?

"Shut up!" now I'm talking to myself, lovely start to the day is it not?

_ohhh.. testy this morning aren't we? On to another wonderful day of cutting and making yourself more pathetic are you? Well ………………_

"Shut up"

I replied again, blocking the whispered sound out. I didn't need to hear it right now. Just to tell me in not-so-kind words how pathetic and stupid I already knew I was. Waste of my time really.

A final stroke of the brush and I had successfully ridded my hair of all its mangle-meant. Another shot of disgust ran through me when I saw the amount of hair left on the brush. Scowling I dropped it onto the wooden surface of the dresser and refused to look at it further. Amazing how much I despised myself just now, I was quite fond of my hair, though I don't suppose anything can grow on a body that was as unhealthy as mine. So I wasn't really a surprise.

Shame, that.

Leaning on the dresser I opened the top drawer, and dug through the mess of cloths till my hand met something cool, metal, and smooth. Lifting it out so it glinted in the light. I held it loosely within my hand for a minute, just marveling at it as though it were some sort of jewel.

My savior, my escape, my drug, my knife. Well one of them anyways……

I couldn't help the small smile that came to my lips as I ran my bony fingers along the shinning silver blade. It was another part of my morning ritual. Went right along with hating myself for everything I possibly could.

I pulled up the sleeves of the baggy sweater and with no guilt I looked upon the many scars already staining what should be soft smooth flesh. No guilt at all as I know I deserve this. And I want it. Damn it's almost pathetic how much I want it.

Not even twitching in the slightest as I pressed the metal against the tainted flesh and pulled it. Dragging it rather roughly across the skin, a deep bleeding mark left in its wake. I repeated this three more times on the same arm before moving to the other and making an exact copy of the slits. Eight in all. A punishment for being alive.

My mind revolved in the pain, I was addicted. And god how and both loved and hated it. Needed it to heal me, yet all the while destroying myself.

You think I cared? Guess again. Caring is for people who have things to live for, I don't qualify.

My eyes admired the steadily bleeding marks for a minute. Smiling at the way the crimson fluid rolled in a curved path down the length of pale, marred, skin to drip into a small puddle gathering on the floor.

Sadly it wouldn't last. I could already hear the stirring in the house, as my family awoke.

Sighing in what was clearly longing. I swiped a hand towel that was stashed in a lose floorboard under my bed, and cleared the ground of my spilled blood. I was in love with that floorboard, I don't really know what I would do without it. It held everything I could possibly need for my… habit, one might say.

Within another few seconds my arms were completely void of any trailing blood and bandaged lightly so as not to leak out any more within the range of prying eyes. I tugged down my sleeve and proceeded to re-hide my knife in the top drawer of the dresser, before snapping it shut.

And not a moment to soon either as a soft knock was heard before my door flew open.

"Hey Ronnie. How are you feeling?"

I rolled my eyes facing away from the eldest of my many brothers. That was the usual greeting now-a-days. It was never Good morning, or isn't it a beautiful day, _I mentally cringed at the last one_. It was always, how are you feeling, or are you alright.

_It's because they know your sick Ron. They can see the bags under your eyes and the bones just as well as you can.. ….. They know you're a freak.. _

I had to literally bite my tongue to keep from lashing out at the voice that was once more mocking me. I'm so close to beating myself into an unconscious state just to shut that damn thing up, it's not even funny.

"I'm fine."

I snapped turning to face Bill who was leaning in my doorway, visible concern etched within his eyes. He looked me over obviously taking in the way the cloths hung loosely off my body. And my cloths themselves, as it was promised to be another scorching day and I was dressed in a sweater.

"It's going to be really hot today… Why don't you put on a T-shirt or something. You're going to get overheated……."

He said in a soft voice. As though afraid to speak to loud, it bit at me and I instantly disliked the way he was treating me as if I was some sort of wounded kitten. Damit I'm not on my death bed here.

"I'm not hot at all. And what I decide to wear doesn't concern you, so nose out."

I fixed him with my best scowl and once more devoided my eyes. That was wrong of me really. To snap at him, but it gave me another reason to cut myself later. Which I needed, so I could feel guilty about in peace.

_Being incredibly rude to Bill aren't you? Such a horrible child you are… he's only worried about you and you treat him like dirt. Very very wrong.._

"You have to eat today Ron. You haven't touched anything in two days. Mum's threatening to force feed you."

Concern was still there, he acted as if he was unfazed at my snapping. And I found that it pissed me off ever more. Normally he would have snapped back, but no everyone was on 'be nice to Ron' mode and I disliked it intensely.

"I'm not hung…….."

The words couldn't even leave my mouth before my upper arm was seized and I was lead out the door of my room and down the stairs by the strong arms of the eldest.

Obviously, not eating was out of the question.

Upon entering the small kitchen I was hit with such a wave of aroma that I instantly felt sick. The thought of eating made me want to curl up and die at this point, and plates piled high with toast, eggs, and sausages were doing nothing to help that image.

I was pushed into a seat forcefully, yet gently by Bill, who immediately took the seat next to me. And I was almost unnervingly aware that all eyes were currently glued to me. But failed to care much as my stomach was now flipping and verbally telling me off for upsetting it so.

_They see you.._ The mocking voice of my inner self said gleefully. _They see what a creature you've become.._

I found myself dearly tempted to bang my head into the porcelain plate set before me. You really never understand how annoying a voice in your head can be until it starts insulting you six times an hour. Not to mention using every possible chance to make me as uncomfortable as hell by pointing out that I was being stared at or something along those lines.

Mum looked as if she were caught between crying at my less then human state, or fretting for my unnatural lack of weight.

"My god, Ron." George breathed out, pity held within his voice.

Actually I don't think it was pity, cause I was convinced that both the twins, put together, had less feelings than an underdeveloped peanut. So I chose to ignore this comment and pointedly stare at the table.

"Well eat up dears, your all getting to skinny as is." Mum called thankfully drawing the attention away from me. Well at least most of the attention, I was still aware that a pair of blue eyes were locked to me, a mix of emotions I couldn't even read held within the orbs.

I visibly scowled at the onlooker and resisted the urge to stick out my tongue at him.

_OOOHH, look even Fred is disgusted by you. Are you that horrible that you've managed to sicken the twins.. ?_

Fred did take his eyes off me then, turning to stare at his own plate instead.

I nearly drowned in the need to smack him for being so damn… human like. I hated the thought that the twins could have emotions. Much to happy to just assume they were nothing but robots bent on destroying the lives of as many people as mortally possible.

No I'm not much fond of them, if you couldn't tell.

My abrupt appearance from the depths of my room seemed to throw the sway of breakfast off.

Indeed they hadn't expected me to come down at all and I would have been more then happy to have obliged to that thought. Sadly Bill seemed to have slipped into protective older brother mode, when he came home from Egypt for the summer and discovered I weighed less then Ginny.

Since then he hasn't left me alone. Jerk, and his protective tendencies.

The plates piled high with various breakfast foods were passed along the table and Bill, who had come to the conclusion that I was not at all happy with him, put a generous helping of everything on my plate as I showed no intention of reaching for anything and was sitting in a lapsed silence hating him for making me be here.

And just generally hating them all.

_So cruel you are to your family when they did nothing wrong….. They care about your pathetic existence which is more then you deserve.._

I forcefully pushed the voice away once more. I knew I was being unfair. It was me who was fucked up, not them. But in the position I was in at this moment, it was just easier to hate them.

I would turn it all into self-loathing and blood later anyways, so no worries.

My thoughts were broken when a fork was pressed into hand.

"Start eating." Bill ordered softly, his eyes gentle yet determined.

Jerk. I hated him being so nice.

What I hated even more was the fact that I could still sense that all the attention was on me. Though they were trying their best to make it look like it wasn't, by starting normal talk, and such. Still the glances that were being shot at me was enough to know that not a single one of them was interested in anything that didn't involve what I was doing at this precise moment.

And if you think that's not unnerving, you are dearly mistaken. You try having eight people monitor everything you do. Think that's fun? Wrong.

I took the time to fix my eldest brother with my best scowl, before poking lightly at the food set before me.

My stomach lurched and almost audibly screamed, _Eat that and I swear ill kill you._

A sigh escaped me before I could draw it back. Even my organs were against me.

However, knowing the fact that I had eyes watching me like prey, it was inevitable that I would have to eat _something_.

Slowly, as though resigned to the worst I began picking at the assortment of breakfast foods on my plate. Putting small pieces into my mouth and chewing without tasting anything at all. I just wanted this over with. As fast as possible and disappear into my bedroom.

Even worse was that all the while I had this mental image of my stomach, beating me to death with a rather heavy wooden board, then burying me in the bowls of a sewer system.

Lovely imagery, no?

I managed to eat less then four forkfuls of eggs, and a full piece of toast, before I was quite certain my stomach would take no more abuse, and stopped trying to force anymore unwanted nourishment into my already pissed off body.

Setting down my fork I moved myself away from the table and toward the stairs as hurriedly as I possibly could. Without flat-out running.

Bill looked as if he wanted to protest at my less then satisfactory attempt of eating, but Charlie shut him with a rather hard nudge in the ribs.

I found myself nearly crying from relief when I wasn't called back.

I could have sung in joy as I slipped out of view from the eight pairs of eyes fixated on me. But needless to say, singing would have only further proved my insanity to myself and that damn voice didn't need anything else to mock me with.

Making my way up the narrow, rickety, staircase I entered the bathroom, making sure to lock the door behind me.

Privacy was a rare luxury here, thus locks were very necessary.

I settled myself on my knees before the white, porcelain, toilet. A drew in a shuddered breath.

Don't give me those looks. I eat, I really do. In fact two days prier to the present I successfully managed to eat quarter of a plate of dinner, and I kept it down thank you very much.

I could eat a bit on good days if I wanted. And I could keep it down just as well.

This was not one of those days.

With a dreadfully long sigh, I proceeded to force all nourishment that had entered my body from breakfast out. My throat stung horribly, as I emptied my stomach of the very little within it. Burning the already abused tunnel further.

And as I made my way back up to my room, stomach emptied, throat on fire. I couldn't help but pick up on the merciless snickering that was coming from the depths in the back of my mind.

-----

What do you think? Probably a few typo's and I sincerely apologize for those.  
I love Ron to death, trust me I do. But I wanted to give him a bit of hell. And it's always fun to torture him now and then is it not?  
Trust me these aren't the only problems our little Ronnie, is going to go through. Lots of pain ahead for my favorite redhead, but don't worry I'll add little lighted spots here and there. (And when I say little, I mean a millisecond of happiness before being plunged back into the depths of darkness.)  
Yes I'm Cruel.  
Reviews are loved, and thanks for reading the start of my first chap fic! Much love to all you.

-Elixier


	2. Chapter 2

Broken Beyond Compare

The second installment to my deathly angsty fic.

Yes I know Ron is really messed up…….. Really really messed up, but he will get help soon. Probably chapter four. So no worries my dears!

Enjoy!

-------

Chapter 2

--------

I stirred slightly within the tangles of my already quite messed up comforter. Only vaguely remembering making my back up to my room and falling into bed after my lovely episode with the toilet.

My eyes opened and immediately went to the black clock that sat on my small, nearly broken, bedside table.

It read nine sixteen a.m, the steady clicking almost taunting me.

I had only been out for an hour, give or take a few minutes, it was a sad reminder that indeed I could never sleep for a drawn out period of time.

And I would swear that the clock was silently laughing at me had it not been for the fact that, verbally thinking a non-animate object was mocking me is far more insane then I was willing to let myself get.

_Now you think the furniture is against you as well? You're more crazed then what we originally thought……_

"Go to hell." I snapped.

Why wouldn't that thing just leave me the fuck alone? I've already established the problem with the clock. I do not now, nor ever need a reminder of my thoughts, thank you very much.

Unless I somehow start forgetting things. But let's not go into that shall we?

A knock sounded before my door was opened slowly, almost cautiously.

Well definitely wasn't Bill, who was my usual visitor. He would have just thrown the damn thing completely opened and preceded to force me into doing something else I wanted no part of.

Did I mention he was a jerk? Cause he is.

"I'm leaving for work now Ron. I just wanted to come up and see if you were alright and all before I left."

My father stood in the doorway. A balding man wearing a shabby Ministry of Magic robe with concern so visible on his face, it made me feel very sorry for him. He looked sorta helpless and lost as though he didn't know what to do.

He didn't know what to do about the fact that I was steadily becoming a walking skeleton that is.

_Soon you're going to be a real skeleton Ron. A corpse left forgotten in a grave………_

Stupid fucking voice. And its stupid fucking opinions.

I had not the energy nor will to do anything but nod my head in reply. I didn't much feel like moving and sleep was out of the question, so I was intending to busy myself with staring at the amazingly interesting prospects of my ceiling.

Sarcasm? You bet.

There was a hesitated moment in which my father seemed stuck on what to do. Then he gave me one last horribly sad look, like id been killing butterflies or something equally horrific, before closing my door with a soft snap and disappearing down the stairs.

No doubt to report my lack of enthusiasm to my overly worried mother.

Joy.

_You're going to kill your parents from all the fretting you're making them do. You sick horrible excuse for a son._

"They have other sons in which they can love and worry about. So back off."

I was not at all in the mood for this. If they were worrying that was their own faults. Ignore the guilt, ignore the guilt….

_Don't try to kid yourself. It's entirely your fault and you know it._

"Yeah I know.."

._. You're horrible. A pathetic excuse for a living creature, an abomination_

"Yeah, yeah. Shut up." I snapped once more blocking the sound out.

I can't believe I just nearly had a conversation with the damn thing, next thing you know ill be talking to my toothbrush.

While brushing my teeth no less.

Another knock was heard and my door was promptly thrown open, slamming lightly against the wall before bouncing to hang limply in the center of the frame.

That would be Bill.

"Who were you talking to?"

"Huh?"

"Just now Ronnie when I was in the hall, I heard you talking to someone." He replied coming over to sit next to my still form on the tousled bed.

What was with him calling me Ronnie, and the eavesdropping? Were they spying on me now?

Most likely.

Is it still eavesdropping when you're talking to a voice in your head? Probably not, but still doesn't excuse the fact that he was listening in and I had to resist the urge to push him off my bed and once more tell him to nose out.

Though that thought would do me no good, and probably just lead to more questions in which I couldn't possibly answer. So I bit back the urge and shifted so I faced away from him.

"No one." I replied staring at my wall without really seeing it. What the hell gave him the right to question me anyway?

Well, actually if were speaking in truths, my mentality cringed at that word, he had every right to question me.

After all he seemed to have taken over the role of finding out what was the matter with my oh, so fucked up self. As Mum was close to a mental break down and Dad was completely lost.

_All your fault_

"But I heard you talking. Are you telling me that you were talking to yourself?" Bill asked and I could practically feel his eyes on the back of my head. Like he was searching for an answer.

Almost as if he thought he'd get one.

Fat chance.

"Maybe your overly protective brain is making things up to force you to come in here and bother me further." I could just see the guilt pouring into me at that assumption, mind you it was completely covered by my snappy-ness.

"Dammit Ron, why are you being so difficult?" Bill replied clearly exasperated, but not angry.

"Dammit Bill, why are you being so persistent?" I didn't have time to play this game with him, why wouldn't he just leave me alone? And his ever lack of anger was once more pissing me off.

I heard a sigh escape him before he started rubbing my back in what was clearly an attempt to calm me down. His hand moved over the ripples that would be my ribs and I saw him cringe out of the corner of my eye.

Yes, sickening isn't it?

"You're just so skinny…… I've never seen you like this. Your just bones Ron.."

That would be because of my lack of appetite. And the overwhelming urges to run for the hills when food is put near me. Almost as if it would jump off the plate a devour my soul.

Could you just imagine his reaction if I said that out loud?

_You don't deserve to breathe air. _

I found myself mentally begging the thing to shut up for awhile. But I came crashing back into reality when I felt a light tug on the bottom of my shirt, as if someone was going to pull it off.

Panic struck through me, and my brain only seemed to comprehend _Cuts, Cuts, Cuts don't let them see, they can't see………_.

I flew off the bed so fast I collapsed onto the floor with a light thump.

Its times like this I wished I had a carpet of some sort.

Cause landing on wood isn't all that fun.

"Jesus Christ Ron, I was only trying to make you a bit cooler. What the hell?" Bill said rising from his spot on my bed and coming around to help me to my feet.

"I told you I'm cold, why don't you ever fucking listen to me?" I screamed, the panic still coursing through my blood, and I was quite certain I was nearly as white as a ghost.

My worst fear at this point was that someone would find out about my habit. The mere thought of them knowing sent an indescribable wave of terror through me. I could only imagine their reactions to the news, none of which would be good.

However just stopping the cutting never crossed my mind. I could deal with fear. I could really….

_Keep fooling yourself Ron. _

"Because its ninety degrees outside, and your in a fucking sweater. That's why.." Bill screamed right back, obviously at his limit of patience.

Trust me, you don't want on the eldest's bad side when his patience runs out, not a good place to be. Even an insane person like me can figure that one out.

I slummed against the wall, staring at him in what I was sure was a pathetic way. "Really Bill, I'm not hot. I just want to keep my sweater on, ok.. please…?"

He sighed, searching me for a minute, as though one the verge of saying no, but I wouldn't give in, so he'd half to.

"Fine, Ron fine. But you have to eat something for dinner then."

I nodded

"And not just a few forkfuls of food, I mean at least half a plate."

Is he kidding me? Half a plate.. .. I can't do that… that's too much. My stomach rolled with the mere thought of it.

Having seen my disbelieving face Bill added with a tone of upmost disdain, "Its either that or I take the sweater Ron. And we both know that there's no way in hell you could stop me."

Asshole. I knew he was right. I nodded once more staring at the floor. Hating how he seemed so very much older then me right now.

He looked at my overly thin frame a little longer before getting up and moving himself to the door. "Ill see you in a bit then Ronnie." With that he was gone.

See! Forcing me into doing things I want no part in, just as I said.

Jerk.

With a heaved sigh I slipped back onto the bed. Funny actually, how such a simple movement such as walking across the floor could drain so much of my energy.

Soon ill be counting breathing as an exercise.

But for now all I want is to sit here and soak up the quiet, perhaps even slip into a nearly sleep-like state.

Since I know there's no way in hell I'll be sleeping any time soon. Maybe I could just force myself to pass out?

I wish.

And that's pretty much how I spent my day! Wonderful huh? I sat, and stared, then stared some more.

Sound like fun? Its not.

However dinner came all too soon for my liking. It seemed as if in no time, Bill had returned to my door and practically dragged me down the rickety path to the kitchen where I could already smell the dreaded scent of dishes upon dishes of various foods.

I can do this. Only half a plate right? I can do this.

_You can barley manage four forkfuls into that pathetic body how do …._

Oh please be quiet.

No doubt the elder had informed the bustling table of my sure appearance at dinner, considering no one seemed that out of balance as they had when I popped up for breakfast.

After all you'd be thrown off balance to, if you saw a walking skeleton in the morning.

Oh, and mum just had to cook something heavy didn't she? Potatoes, ham, corn, salad, meat pies… I think I'm gonna be sick just looking at it.

_Go ahead, get sick. Then they'll know the truth._

Is there a way to kill the brain cells that cause voices?

I was promptly steered into my usual seat. Smashed right between Bill and Charlie, with the twins directly in front of me.

More joy.

I couldn't help but notice that Fred was once again staring at me. I glared right back. If he thinks he's just gonna sit there and act as if he actually does have emotions (which, may I remind you he doesn't. He's one of the twins… their inhuman) then he's gonna deal with my rage.

A dish was set infront of me and I was immediately snapped from my thoughts. Bill had already made up a plate so it seemed and he had piled it high with the most food he could fit on it.

Jerk. Plain and simply a jerk.

If my stomach could get out of my body, it would have abandoned me at this very moment. I could just picture it screaming "_I HATE You"_ while marching around and holding a picket sign.

_When you die, they'll take your organs out for good and you'll become bones.. all bones.._

"Half a plate Ron." Bill declared putting a fork into my hand.

Impossible. If he thinks I'm going to eat half of the mountain he gave me, he's got another thing coming.

I gently stared to poke at the various sources of the toxic aroma strangling my nose.

Potatoes… best avoid those, I know I couldn't possibly handle that. Ham…. Makes me sick just looking at it….. corn… to bright in color….

I hate Bill.

_He hates you to, you know that right Ron?_

I've come to that conclusion, yes.

I settled to pick at the salad. Putting dry pieces of lettuce into my mouth and chewing as fast as possible. I had declined the offer for dressing as I was sure I would die if I saw anything else getting poured onto my plate.

Especially something liquidly and full of spices, or a thick white cream. Italian and Ranch. Gross.

I finished my entire salad.. And even though my stomach was rejecting it I managed down a piece of bread as well. You should be very proud

Is that enough? Please let that be enough.

"Try to eat some meat Ron, or at least some potatoes." Bill said looking at my still barley touched plate with renewed determination.

Jerk.

I poked a piece of ham with the edge of my fork, noting the way the juice came out of it. My stomach gave a not-so-pleasant jerk, and I quickly abandoned any attempt at the meat.

And just avoided looking at it all together.

The potatoes were thick, and mushy, as all mashed potatoes should be. And I just couldn't force myself to touch those either.

It was a losing battle.

Unfortunately Bill would not accept that.

"My god Ron, just take a bite of meat. Something."

All eyes were once more locked to me in my feeble battle to digest something. Feeling incredibly uncomfortable I started to fidget.

I hated it when they stared, it felt like they could see right through me, find out my secrets.

_They see you…_The voiced piped up in a sing-song tone.

Well at least one of us was enjoying himself.

"Maybe he could just eat another piece of bread or something Bill. He might not be ready to have something thick yet."

I almost fell. Was Fred actually on my side? He didn't just defend me. His eyes however were looking at me with that unreadable expression again.

How dare he show that he has human qualities when I was to messed up to hate him for it. The twins can't feel, that would throw off my entire view on life.

A view which included cutting as a way to solve any problem, eating as part of a cruel and unusual punishment, Bill being a complete and utter jerk, and the twins being nothing but inhuman robots.

Lovely isn't it?

And if Fred's sudden act of humanity wasn't enough to stop me in my tracks, Bill actually listened to him.

Shocking I know.

He just shot Fred this knowing glance and agreed that I could eat one more piece of bread before I could blessedly leave the table.

I had absolutely no idea what that was about and I didn't care to find out.

That would give the eldest time to reconsider and force me to actually eat some meat and I wasn't willing to risk it.

I already felt sick as is.

So I forced the bread into my unwilling stomach and without so much as a look or glance at any of them I shot up from the table and to the stairs, making the now very familiar trip to the bathroom.

I closed to door with a snap and proceeded in my unnaturally disgusting, but needed routine.

I'm such a horrible person.

_Yes you are……_

"No need to rub it in"

I spat at the voice before all communication was put on hold as I forced every bit of food out of me.

_You're sick, horrible and pathetic. Your mum slaved away over a stove for you and what do you do in return? Puke everything she worked so hard to feed you out.._

I noted that the voice seemed louder then was usual tonight. Which could mean nothing good on my part.

Perhaps talking to it encouraged it to become more audible?

I gripped the edges of the toilet with shaking hands, reaching to wipe my mouth of all traces of my crime. I could feel the bones of my wrist beneath my lips, and this sent such a feeling of revulsion through me that I threw up all over again.

Though without any food left I was left riding my body of blood instead of nourishment.

My throat was burning by the time I was done, ripped, abused and complaining at me for doing such things to it. Not to mention the voice was laughing manically at a ridiculus level of volume, in the back of my mind and the room was spinning at an alarming rate.

The wonders of being a nothing in the world.

A few minutes of breathing heavily and leaning against the sink for support I managed to get the room to stay still, and promptly tune out the laughing. Both I didn't need right now and they would only further complicate the prospect of getting to my room and collapsing.

Which is exactly what I intended to do once I got my thoughts focused.

I walked slowly to the door to avoid any further room spinning adventures. Grasping the doorknob and opening it fully prepared to stagger up the stairs.

However I never got that far as I promptly flung the door shut just minutes after opening it.

Because there on the other side of the thin wood door, that no longer seemed to be protection enough, stood Bill.

------

That's chapter two! Sorry about the cliffhanger loves, I'll tend to put a lot of those through the story. Makes the next chapter better.

Don't kill me for it! I could never type being a ghost.

Reviews and opinions are loved!

-Elixier


	3. Chapter 3

Broken beyond Compare

Sorry this one took me a bit, my dears! I have inspections coming up next week and things are in a dire chaos state. So I've been horribly busy!  
This chapter isn't all that good. All the other chapters I have mapped out and all but this one was just the gap between chapters two and four. But don't worry the next update will be better! And hopefully quicker.  
Promise!

-----------

Chapter 3

----------

My heart was pounding, and the sickening flood of fear into my body was making me weaker then I thought I could be, not to mention the fact that the room had promptly started spinning again.

Did he hear? Does he know?

_He's found you Ron, he knows how sick you are. _The voice cackled madly in the back of my mind as though nothing could please it more then my sudden state of terror.

No he couldn't… he can't .. He didn't hear anything, get a grip Ron, breath….

How long I was standing there in a state of sheer panic was unknown but my next thoughts were to the fact that to door had been opened.

When did he open the door?

_He see's you…_

Taking a shuddered breath a turned my eyes into his. Oh god he was mad, I could see it so very plainly on his face. Written into every muscle in his body that was so very tense.

You don't know, tell me you don't know…..

"Did you just make yourself throw up?" It was a low whisper, and I found myself wishing he would have just yelled.

Yelling was easier to deal with in these situations.

I opened my mouth as if to answer but found that my voice hand abandoned me in my moment of need.

And so it seems, did my brain cells as I couldn't think of a single damn word to say even if I could speak.

Lovely.

"Did you Ron?" his whisper never ceased. Oh he was very mad, almost dangerously so.

_He knows.. he knows _

The sudden wish to just shrink up in a little ball a drown myself overcame me with such force I nearly fell. Damn I need a knife.

Or a razor…piece of glass…. broken mirror,…. something.

"Get. Back. Downstairs."

He ordered, grabbing my arm when my body didn't comply. And to my greatest demise he grabbed my lower arm and I had to fight the urge to scream and snatch it back as his grip was held over the many cuts I had placed there this morning.

Ouch.

Pain and fear. Fear and pain. All made my mind spin, and when did the kitchen get so far away? It seemed to take us forever to get there.

In reality it must have only taken a few seconds, but I barley lived in reality anymore.

Bill sat me down in my spot from dinner when we finally waltzed ourselves into the room, ignoring the questioning looks he got from the other members of my family. My plate was still there, and I knew what it is he wanted me to do.

Or he would force me to do, whichever.

"Eat."

I couldn't. The food made my already abused stomach churn in the most unpleasant of ways. And I didn't think my burning throat could take anything in, or out for that matter, at this second.

"Eat now."

Yep, he's definitely pissed off. But stranger was, he didn't seem mad at me directly. Just mad at what I had been doing.

_Wrong, you know he hates you Ron. He wants you to hurt, wishes for it….._

I know.

"Bill" Mum scolded brandshading her wooden spoon at him. "He already ate as much as we could force on him.."

"Yes, but its all gone now. Isn't that right Ronnie."

Shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up…….

_Ohhh!_ The voice screeched in joy, _He's gonna tell them all what you've done. How sick you are.. a disgrace…_

"What do you mean?" I heard my father ask somewhere in the distance. All their voices seemed distant to me now.. and sound together.

Except for the voice that was laughing in a hysteric fit with no end.

My hands gripped the edge of the chair with enough force to turn my knuckles completely white. And my next real thought came when I heard a loud gasp and the clatter of what I supposed to be the wooden spoon hitting the ground.

Coming back into the present I listened for a sound … any sound. But all had gone quiet. Only breathing could be heard and that in itself seemed to have quieted down a bit.

Unnerving would be an understatement of what I was feeling at this very moment.

He must have told them..

Because there all looking at me with these horror struck faces. Mum looks like she's about to burst in tears, Charlie, dad, and Percy are just staring at me. Ginny looks as white as a ghost and the twins look horrified.

Fred had something else in his eyes that served to unnerve me further… I thought for a minute it was sadness maybe even regret for something? I must be hallucinating.

Because remember, the twins are inhuman. Fred especially. Thus feelings are beyond them.

"Why Ron? Why make yourself throw up?" someone asked me… judging by where the sound had come from I was guessing it to be Charlie.

Though I'm not actually sure, because I was currently observing the floor as though my life depended on it when the question was presented. But who cares? My mind refused to come up with an answer anyways, and I still wasn't sure if talking was an ability I was capable of. So I chose to ignore the question all together.

That had obviously been the wrong choice.

"Is there something going on with you Ron? Are you in trouble or something?" Dad asked in an almost whisper like tone. Fear, concern, and sadness evident in his voice.

Where the hell did that come from?

_You are in trouble…. Your killing yourself… Burying yourself in your own pathetic misery…_

"There is nothing wrong with me." I snapped so viscously that a few of my family members actually filched.

They had no right to sit there and ask me stupid questions. There isn't a damn thing wrong with me.

_Liar._

There isn't.

God I cant even think that with a strait face. I know there's something wrong with me, but dammit I could handle it fine without eight people nosing into my business. Nine if you counted the voice, but he didn't poke into my business really.

He more or less controlled it. Asshole that he is……

_You do a fine job of handling It as well. Slit the pain away, drown into your cure, bleed out the disgrace …._

Why wont that thing just die?

"…..Ron…….. Ronald!"

My head snapped up to look at them, being dragged rather rudely from the battle with the voice.

There were all looking at me still white faced, and I would have found this situation very funny indeed if it hadn't been for the fact that all their horror filled eyes were turned to me.

"Maybe we should take you to a doctor Ron?" Percy suggested. Always count on the lovely third eldest to say something that would make me dread taking another breath of life.

Not that I already didn't dread it. I told you I would consider breathing as an exercise one day.

"I don't need a doctor. I'm fine."

"You don't look fine Ron, and you sure as hell don't act like it." Fred snapped back at me from across the table. What was up with him? When did he start giving a shit if I destroyed myself? I think he's sick……

_He doesn't really care Ron, he's just pretending……_

"Who the hell asked you?" See! Isn't yelling so much easier? And I didn't even know if I was yelling at the voice or at Fred. Both worked fine in my opinion.

He looked …..hurt by my outburst though. Oh my god I am hallucinating… And opened his mouth as if to reply but mum shut him up with a look.

"How long have you been doing this?" And count on my father to come up with such a question as that. He always found the one question you really didn't want to answer.

_Tell them… tell them you've been ripping at your stomach for nine months now.. tell them Ron, tell them………._

I just looked at him coldly for a minute before turning my head away. If he thought for a minute I was giving him an answer he had another thing coming. I didn't even answer questions I asked myself, so I sure as hell didn't need to reply to him.

Stupid question anyways.

The silence that ensued afterwards was so thick you could probably have cut it with a butterknife. My obvious state of unanswer had sparked the fuel for thought it seemed. It also sparked Bills fuel.

Rather unfortunate that.

"Eat Ron; no one knows how long it's really been since you kept something down."

_OHHH.. he's mocking you … _

That struck a nerve, and a bad one at that. I stood up so abruptly that the chair fell over. Ignoring the feeling that the room might began spinning once more I fit him with the best sneer I could muster.

"Fuck you."

And before anyone could say a damn thing I was out of the kitchen and on my way upstairs. I half expected someone to come after me, and it seemed as if they wanted to but I heard mum flat out say to let me be.

Next mother's day she was getting something very good from me for that.

_If you're still around next mother's day……_

"What do you mean?" I had gotten over my fear of talking to the voice by now. It didn't matter, he would always be there… always. So I should talk to him shouldn't I? Maybe that's another sign that I'm losing it further…..final exception of the voice…?

_I think you know what I mean Ron… they know.. they all know… they want to send you to a doctor.._

"That's not true, I'm not sick…."

_Lies, you heard them say so…_

"So what." I snapped, falling rather then walking into my bedroom, shutting the door behind me with a very loud slam. "A doctor couldn't do anything to me anyways."

_You know they could Ron.. you know what lies at stake…. They could find out about your knives…_

"Shut up….. there not going to find out…."

_They could… oh they so easily could… but you can get out of it… avoid it…..make everything better for everyone.._

"What are you talking about?"

_You know what I'm talking about…… you've thought about it before Ron… you know you want to……_

I scowled at it mentally, hating to know that it was right. I had thought about it before … many times. But I had never actually attempted it. Been close but never actually took the plunge.

_Get the razors… get them.. you know you want it… know you need it…_

I practically crawled to my bed, reaching under it to wench up the loose floor board and withdraw one long, shiny, metal razor.

I think I have a fascination with shiny things….

Because I just stopped for a moment, to twist it in the light. Loving the way the moonbeams shone of the metal. So very, very shiny…..

Yeah… that's a definite fascination.

_Cut.. cut Ron… just catch a vain.. end it all… They know .. they'll tell.. _

"What if it doesn't work? What will happen then?" I sounded so weak right then it was pathetic.. when did I start begging the voice for something… besides shutting up?

_It will work, only an idiot could fail.. cut the vain .. deep, cut it deep…_

I rolled up the sleeve to my shirt, staring for a second at the marks that already lined the pale, bony, flesh. So thin…. Like a skeletons arm.

Disgusting.

And there it was, that thin line of blue that stood out so prominently against my skin. The razor was sharp enough. I could easily press it to my elbow and cut the vain strait down. This would end it.. no more suffering.. no more hate.. and no more destroying the life of my family.

_Do it.._

"Shut up…" Please don't talk right now.. oh please don't.

_Do it.. your just a burden on your family.. they hate you.. You know this……._

It was getting louder.. like it had in the bathroom. My mind was ringing with the impact of its volume. Well maybe it was my ears that were ringing, since I'm not sure if a mind can ring……

"Shhhh.." I begged. I was rocking back and forth now, a habit that keeps me clam, well as calm as I could ever possibly get.

_Do it…………._

That was a scream. And a loud one, oh god it hurt.. the sound hurt so bad.

"Shut up.."

_Do it NOW_

It was steadily growing in volume, the shrieks getting louder and louder as it screamed the same to words over and over in my already spinning mind.

_Do it….. do it…… do it………cut.. kill it Ron.. kill the pain…_

"Shut up!" I was screaming back now. And I was to loud… I could draw attention..

_Do it_

"Shut up please…"

_cut Ron, do it before its to late you pathetic child…_

"Shut up, shut up, shut up…." I was screaming at the top of my lungs, I just wanted it to stop, just to end, only barley noticing the steady falling trails of tears down my cheeks as I violently slashed into my arm.

Make it stop.. make it end….

_Cut the vain.. get the vain.. it'll end Ron, all of it.. listen to me.. _

"Shut up.." I cried, my voice cracking so much I only just made out the words.

_Get the vain Ronnie.. that will make everything so much better……_

I wiped desperately at the blood already covering my red stained arms, the sticky fluid coating my hand thoroughly in the act.

Where is it.. where's the vain.. no blue in the red.. cant see it.. cant find it.. need to……. must…..

Footsteps.. running up the stairs.. I could hear them now. Only about two landings away. They were close.. they were coming..

_Hurry before they find you… CUT IT_

I can't.. find it.. what do I do?.. I can't find it..

_Cut it ….their getting closer…. Cut it… cut it now……._

Out of desperation I just slammed the razor into the marked flesh, making sure it was as deeply embedded as I could get it at this point and ripped it down my arm.

The pain was amazing, and it began to fill me to the point where every cell in my body felt like it had turned to ice. A needle pricking coldness sweeping through me. And the blood, I had never seen so much blood in my life. And I marveled at the way it flowed down the abused, torn arm to gather in an already huge pile at the floor.

So much of it.. a river of red against the floor.

This stunning show of how truly crazy I really could be was short lived however, as my vision began to blur horrifically. Black overtook the world of color in a single fluid motion, then suddenly the pain was gone I could no longer feel the rip that dragged along the bone of my arm.

Was this death… am I dying. God I wish I would have done this sooner. All dark no pain.. this was heaven… and it's a good thing to, because I'm pretty sure that within a few minutes ill be in hell with Satan.

Which is exactly where I belong. So I won't be surprised when I wake up in a fiery pit with ugly little demons poking me with sticks.

My only real thought before I was completely consumed by the bliss that is darkness was a loud bang as the door was thrown open, followed by one horrifically loud, piercing scream.

-------------  
-----------  
Well there it is! Ron is truly messed up, I know. But that's ok his road to……. well… more hell that eventually leads to recovery starts next chap loves!So don't worry! Ill update again soon.  
Reviews make the world go round!

-Elixier


	4. Chapter 4

Broken Beyond Compare

Chapter Four my dears! Ron is finally getting some help…… not that he likes it mind you!  
But For the fact that I'm horribly cruel, our dearest Ronnie is just going to get steadily worse. He won't be better for a long time off. Sorry loves!

OH! And feel sorry for Fred… feel very sorry for him!

----------

Chapter 4

----------

I awoke to a mass of white lights. All I could see was an overwhelming brightness that burned into my eyes and made them water quite efficiently.

Was I finally dead…? Was this some sort of abyss I was sent to for my unimaginable wrongs in life?

No, I could hear voices now. They were far away though, as if they were only just out of my reach. But there none-the-less.

Plus I kept having fleeting images of hurried sounds and blurred faces. And one loud, strong, voice telling me to hold on…?

Ok, so where those came from I have no idea, just have to concentrate on figuring out where I am. Which should be hell…. But somehow I pictured hell to be more….. fiery.

With little demons poking at people with pointy sticks.

Slowly everything came into focus. After my eyes adjusted to the over powered lights that seemed to plague this room I saw four off-white walls, some wired medical equipment I couldn't name. And an IV bag that was floating in midair steadily dripping blood into my body.

I guess this could be a form of hell... But then there were no demons?

"Ron…. Ronnie, you're awake!"

I take that back. There was a demon.

Fred strode over to me from his former place of leaning in the doorway, and I found myself wrapped in a pair of very strong arms. Hands running up and down my back, rippling slightly with the outline of my ribs.

I was flat-out stunned for a second. Fred... who had less emotions then a freakin rock was hugging me, tightly and almost desperately I might add. That gives one a moment of complete surprise.

"Where am I?"

My voice sounded amazingly drained, like every drop of energy had been taken away from me. I sounded more pathetic then when I was slashing up my arm and screaming at the top of my lungs. And that's saying something, trust me.

A flash of horrid pain crossed my older brother's face, and for a minute I forgot there was no way he could feel and felt very sorry for him. He took one of my deathly thin, pale hands into his larger, tanned one and I could almost feel a sense of regret and sadness rolling off him.

Weird……?

"Your in St. Mungo's Ron, you've been in a sort of coma for six days now."

Six days? Damn… That's quite a long time. And how the hell did I get into a coma? Maybe loss of blood or something. But more importantly……..

"I didn't die?"

That realization hit me hard, and I was smacked with a wave full of self-loathing.

How had I managed not to die? I slashed up my arm like deli meat! I saw it, I saw the blood. No way could I survive that. I cut to the bone, dragged the slick metal along it, cutting strait through veins and muscle along the way. I shouldn't have survived.

I shouldn't have.

I was so caught up in my thoughts that I failed to realize Fred's grip on my hand had increased when I mentioned death. And that the rest of the family had poured into my room and I was currently caught in a many armed hug.

And that's an awkward position, having seven pairs of arms around you and an eighth hand holding firmly on to your own.

Fun? I think not.

"Oh my god you scared us so bad…"

"We thought you were gone..."

"Six days, you were out like a light."

"Six whole days of worry, we thought for a minute you would never wake up."

"So scared..."

I had to fight the urge to back into the metal headboard of this hospital bed and curl up in a ball as voices started filling the air around me in a frenzied hurry. Coming from all directions each with a different mix of fear and relief. And my face must have looked quite horrified at the outburst, because they all stopped speaking almost as abruptly as they had started.

"Were sorry Ron, we were just so frightened we'd lost you."

Charlie spoke, in a smoother calmer voice then what they had previously been doing. I let out a breath that I hadn't even realized id been holding and filled myself with the loathing once more.

"Why didn't I die?"

I asked in the same strained voice as before.

That had been the wrong thing to say, because the room filled with a blanket of silence and a horrified expression crossed over all my relatives faces.

Well, with the exception of Bill who looked stuck between, relief and protective mood. And Fred who looked completely stricken. Like I had just asked him why he, himself hadn't died.

He had to be sick…….

"You almost did Ron. You stopped breathing more then once, it was horrible. We didn't think you'd make it through. That cut was deep, you lost a ton of blood."

Bill said in a forced calm tone, basically growling out the last sentence.

When had I stopped breathing? Ohh... and Bill looked mad, very mad indeed.

Now my eldest brother had a protective streak that could rival anyone's. If someone so much as looked at one of us with an expression that he judged a danger, they'd have to deal with him.

And trust me you don't want to deal with him. I don't even want to deal with him…… and we share the same DNA.

It seemed he was very pissed that he couldn't just send a glare at the thought of suicide and make in run away from me like he did everything else.

Well, it's not that easy big bro, you can't save me from myself. I can't even do that.

"We know you've been cutting yourself."

That got my attention.

"What..?"

That was a stupid thing to say, I should have asked how. But it had been Fred who brought up the subject so I technically didn't care what I said, not to him anyway.

"You've been cutting yourself up for, what the doctor judged as four or five years now."

Bill spoke in his once more forced calm voice, and I distinctly felt Fred's hand tighten around my own. Why hasn't he let go? What? Does he think I'm going to run and jump out a random window?

"Which means you started when you were nine or ten?"

Percy finished the statement for the eldest, always being the one to work with numbers. Mum let out a very audible sob but I ignored this completely and spent my energy glaring at them as if daring them to ask at what precise age I had begun cutting.

Which in fact was ten. But they didn't need to know that.

Instead of asking when though, Bill decided to go strait for the question they all really wanted to know.

"Why?"

Jerk.

I do hope he didn't actually expect me to answer that. I mean come on, why the hell would I answer a question such as that? Did they really think that now that they knew my little secret it would make me open up and start pouring out my broken, fucked up heart to them?

Fat chance.

"We just want to help you Ron."

My dad spoke up from his current location of holding mum. Causing me to promptly bite my tongue to keep from laughing.

Is he fucking kidding me? No one can help me, I've been beyond that point for years.

I once more chose my silence above talking. And turned my green eyes to my arm to investigate this horrid cut I had put on myself through the many slashes that should already be there. Maybe pick at a few healing ones just to watch them bleed….

However when my eyes came in contact with my arm, I had to fight another mad desire. The one to scream and crawl into a corner to die.

My scars…… my cuts…my burns.. the gigantic slit that should be on my arm…. Were gone.

I sat up straight so quickly that my head nearly begun to spin but that didn't matter. I ripped my hand away from Fred's and begun to look at my arm, spinning it to see from all angels. They can't just not be there…. I flung off the thin hospital blanket and discovered my legs lay smooth and untainted, without so much as a single scratch to mare them.

I did scream at that.

"Where are my marks….. my scars..?"

I asked them desperately proving myself to sound, with amazing accuracy, like a wounded kitten. I pulled up the stupid hospital gown more to show my entire legs.

All gone, every single cut…………….. this is a nightmare…..

Fred began to shift when I pulled up the gown, almost as if he was stuck between doing something and not doing something…

What the hell was up with him? Has everyone gone completely mad while I was in my stupid coma?

"The doctors erased them, you had over a hundred. Your body looked like a freaking cutting board."

Bill informed me, and I found myself caught between unbearable disgust that they had seen my marred flesh, and a sense of betrayal and anger at the thought that all evidence of my work had disappeared.

As disgusting as the scars were to me, they gave me a reminder that I was indeed capable of killing the pain inside me… a cure…. something I had thought for the longest time, was beyond me.

How dare they.

I was about to open my mouth to scream at him for daring to have my scars erased without my permission, but was interrupted when a lady dressed in a professional black suit walked in. Brown hair pinned into a bun and a smile on her face.

I disliked her instantly.

"Well you must be Ron then correct?"

She said in a cheerful voice reaching out a hand as if to shake mine. I didn't take it, and she withdrew it just as quick.

"My name is Doctor Shelly, I'm your new psychiatrist."

What...the…fuck……?

I just sat there and gaped for what seemed like an eternity.

A psychiatrist? I don't need a psychiatrist, all they do is sit around and ask you how you feel about things while trying to get into your mind.

And this lady was not getting inside my head. I didn't even allow myself in there…… never know what you'll find.

"I don't need a psychiatrist."

I spat, beyond caring if I was friendly or not. Even through her tears mum sent me a look that clearly said _"don't be rude" _but I ignored it and continued to glare at the lady as if she were some sort of bug.

I hate bugs by the way. Did you know?

"Well, how about just a friend then?"

She asked, her painted red lips still smiling away. I just gave her a flat look and turned my head away from her.

This didn't dampen her spirits at all though it seemed, as she promptly sat down in a seat drawn out for her by Percy and took out a rather long roll of parchment.

"Now, would you like to tell me about this voice of yours?"

I nearly fell off the bed. Sputtering for a whole minute with a look of disbelief on my face.

"When you were in the coma you spoke about the voice telling you to do things.."

She added as way of explanation and my hand was immediately seized by Fred once more. I jerked out of his grasp and moved to sit on the far corner of my bed. As far away from them all as I could possibly get without moving out of the room.

It was then that it hit me. The voice…. He hadn't spoken since I awoke… was he gone… did he leave.

I almost smiled at this, he was gone wasn't he? I felt a rush happiness flood my body.

_Did you miss me Ron? You failed…. Failed the one thing that was so easy….. a failure….._

Good feelings gone.

_You didn't cut deep enough… you didn't cut correctly. And now they all know your little secret don't they? Sending you to see a psychiatrist and everything…_

"Shut up, its not like you were helping at all were you?"

I snapped ruefully, aware that everyone could see me talking to myself. Also aware of how crazy that would seem. But I didn't give a shit anymore. They took my scars and now there sticking me with this overly happy doctor who knew about all my problems.

So screw them.

_Help? …. I tried to help you….. I'm your only true friend Ron… I've tried but you don't listen…. You should have cut the vein strait down.. nothing could have healed that._

"Screaming at me does not signify help."

_You seemed to do it very well………… isn't that what got their attention that night…………you screaming?_

"Shut up." I snapped blocking him out and glaring at the floor as if he could see it. I didn't even know if he was a he? More of an it, but _he_ just sounded better.

"Helping with what?"

Doctor Shelly spoke still with a smile. I wanted to crack that fake grin so bad it wasn't funny. What right did she have to just sit there and be happy?

"Nose out." I sneered at her turning to look out the window once more.

"Now, Ron" Mum scolded, but she was instantly silenced by the doctors hand on her shoulder.

"No, it's quite alright Mrs. Weasley." She said with a cheeky little wink, turning back to me.

"Ron, I know that you've been cutting your arms and legs.. and well nearly all over your body for that matter. I'm not going to ask you why though, I would like to know eventually, but for now were going to put that question aside."

She walked around the bed, so she could look me in the eye. And I found I didn't like this, no not one bit. And though I hate to admit it, in a state of complete discomfort by her closeness I ended up backing up to the opposite side of the bed.

Straight into Fred's chest.

A very awkward situation for me indeed, especially when I felt his body tense behind me. But it was better then being close to the one Doctor Shelly, was it not?

She took a breath and fixed me with a warm stare. "I'm going to send you home Ron, now normally in these situations we'd send you to a……. to a facility for your needs. However I think it's quite alright if you return with your family. But, you will be under a strict watch, provided by your relatives and will need to see me three times a week."

I knew I disliked her. I really did…….

_Ohhh under strict watch huh? ……… your sick enough to be treated like some sort of criminal now aren't you? They wanted to send you to an asylum Ronnie! You're going to end up there anyway…………_

I suddenly wish I was back in my coma.

Soon after this not-so-pleasant (for me at least) bit of information was released the doc left to speak with my parents, leaving me to pack with my many siblings.

This was going to be hell.

And oh how very right I was.

The minute we got home I flat-out knew this was going to be a very horrid experience. Getting up the stairs and into my room proved that accusation to be right.

There were two beds.

I didn't want to think about whom it was that'd be watching me at night. Though under the circumstances I thought it would be Bill.

And what do you know! Another thing I was right about.

I wasn't even alone for six minutes when the said eldest walked in, watching me closely….. as though I had some sort of divine answer for my actions written on my face….. well, my back for that matter cause I was currently facing away from him.

"This is going to be tough Ron, but you do know were only doing this because we all love you."

_He's lying… there all lying…._

I ignored this, and walked to my dresser. I just wanted to see my knife. And I could easily pretend to be putting things away so my jerk of a brother didn't realize what I was really doing.

It was gone.

This made my heart speed up. My beautiful knife… gone. Did they take it? Probably. How many of my other knifes did they find?

I turned around abruptly to find Bill eye's locked onto my own. He knew what I was looking for, and he knew it wasn't there.

Jerk.

I almost threw a fit, brushing past him none-to-lightly and making my way strait into the bathroom that was a couple of landings away, with every intention of throwing a silent spasm in there.

Reaching the small room I slammed the door with a satisfying loud snap and moved to lock it.

No lock.

They removed the freaking lock? I can't believe this. I then turned to look in the medicine cabinet where I knew there should be razors, for shaving and the like.

None.

This was insane. I waltzed right out of the bathroom and down the rest of the many stairs that plagued the house to the kitchen. Entering the room in a frenzy of restrained sadness, I don't even really know why or when I became overwhelmed with this feeling of utter misery, but I was used to it. I've been feeling that way for a long time now.

So who cares?

I opened drawer after drawer, looking for a knife. Or something equally as dangerous.

No knives, no forks. Not a damn thing that could present even the slightest threat.

_They don't trust you….. removing everything you could have used to hurt yourself….. there treating you like a baby……._

The voice was practically singing.

Stupid thing.

I however, was almost crying. They didn't trust me, which was a good thing on their part because quite frankly if there was a knife near me right now. I would stab myself.

But that still didn't kill the feeling of betrayal I had brewing inside me.

I whipped around to find that Bill had entered the kitchen. And to my greatest demise so had the twins.

I didn't care, I hated them all at that precise moment.

"Where is everything?"

I asked willing myself not to cry. How pathetic is that? Crying because I couldn't find a knife? When did I loose the control over my emotions?

"It's gone Ronnie. We had to make sure you were safe…."

The eldest replied in a calm manner. Looking at me like I was some sort of lost puppy.

"Safe? I was safe! I need those things.."

I practically screamed, unwanted tears falling steadily down my face. I hated being so weak infront of Bill... and the inhuman robots for that matter.

"I need them.."

And I did, I did need the knives and razors. I really, really did.

"No you don't, your better then that Ron."

"No I'm not!"

"Yes you are."

Fred piped in. Oh, how I would have loved to smack him or do something equally horrific. What did he know anyways? He didn't have a single human cell in his body, neither of the twins did.

"I hate you"

I whispered through my many falling tears. There was a shocked silence after this. I had never actually told them I hated them before, which makes this time a bit shocking.

And probably the fact that I sounded like I meant every word stunned them as well.

"I hate you all." I spoke quietly making my way back to the staircase brushing past them rather roughly.

They had taken everything from me. And now I was left to face the pain alone, and without a cure. I should have died. It would have been easier.

"Especially you." I added in a snap, at Fred.

I really didn't like him much at all. Can't you tell?

I didn't miss the pain that crossed his face when I said that though. Like someone had just ripped out one of his organs. And I immediately felt bad for saying such a thing to him.

But at this point I was far to deep into a horrible mix of emotions to say any sort of apology, so I just let him brew on those words and made my way upstairs without so much as a single glance behind me.

All my metals… every pointy thing I had, was gone. No more escape, no more cure….. I was going to go insane.

_Your already insane….._

"I know..."

_No you don't know... you're forgetting Ronnie…. Did you really think they would find your razors there?_

'What do you mean?" I said in barley a whisper as I passed Percy's open door.

_Under the floorboard ……_

----------------

Another Cliffhanger. Though it's not a very good one mind you.  
Ah well... there's chapter four! Five should be up soon m' dears!

Reviews make the depressed Ron happy!

Much love dears!

-Elixier


	5. Chapter 5

Broken Beyond Compare

I cut this chapter down quite significantly…. I felt rather bad for leaving you all hanging at the end of the last update I decided to break what was going to be a very long chapter into two separate pieces.

Consider this the real birthday present my loves! As today I am officially sixteen!

Cake for everyone!

This does mean that I really neednt have written that last drabble at all….. but it was cute anyways!

Enjoy.

--------------------

Chapter 5

--------------------

The floorboard! I can't believe I forgot about that. Must have been the emotional breakdown I seem to be going through.

_They would never have thought to look there….._

They wouldn't have! Which means I still have some metals left. Oh I hope.

I thought for a moment, I would die of happiness. Or at least pass out from it.

Which would be kind of awkward indeed as I never pictured myself dying from anything other then misery and pain. Happiness would throw off the obituary a bit wouldn't it?

""Cutter and severely depressed lunatic dies of utter happiness and joy!""

Just wouldn't fit.

With that in mind I practically skipped into my, now very cramped, bedroom. That's exactly when I realized something.

I almost cried.

My bed had been moved to sit right against the wall, from where it had previously been in the middle of the small room. This left Bill's bed in the spot, directly over my floorboard.

Is the entire world against me?

_Go to them Ron….. go look…. See if your knives still await you……No one can see you … do it before they come back …………_

I stood still for a moment, digesting this new information completely ignoring the voice for the time being. How was I supposed to get to my blades if Bill was sleeping right on top of where they should have been?

_Go to them… _

Finally able to process movement again, I slowly began to walk to the intruding bed, how ever the door flew open before I got there.

Damn….

I switched direction and headed over to my bed instead of going to see if my precious knives were still around, not even bothering to look to see who it was that had interrupted my search.

I had a pretty good idea of who it was anyways.

"You shouldn't have said that down stairs Ron…"

You know, my dearest elder brother is becoming a bit predictable…. Or maybe he's just staying around me to much.

"Especially not to Fred."

I snorted at this, falling face first into my orange comforter. Why was it orange anyways…. I had gotten over my love of the Chudley Cannons when I went into lunatic mode.

And I hate orange….. but I'm going off subject again.

"Why does it matter?" I snapped ruefully at him, my voice stuck halfway between misery and anger.

"Its not like Fred has a heart anyways…."

Which, mind you, he doesn't.

"You know that's not true Ron."

I felt his eyes boreing into me as he made his way to his own bed. I wanted him to leave. To just go away and leave me to my wonderful solitude. And my wonderful knives.

I knew he wouldn't.

"You should go apologize to him."

I heard Bill's voice shatter upon my sadness. If he was going to be around me at all times, I shudder at that thought, at least he could stop speaking.

"Fred doesn't care about me. He doesn't care what I think. He's heartless remember."

I snapped not at all happy with his intrusion into my thoughts.

"Fred cares, if you only knew how much..."

And with that are lovely little conversation on my elder twin brother, to whom I disliked intensely anyways, was complete. And we lapsed ourselves into a semi-silent state. Bill reading the Daily Prophet, me wishing that the daily prophet would attack him.

Or try to attack him at the least…..

_Wishing harm on your older brother…. You sicken me…_

"If I sicken you so much then go away." I spat causing Bill to look over at me with a frown.

_Go away? And leave you alone…? ……. Could you handle that? Could you handle being all alone._

I closed my eyes tightly actually thinking about the question. Isn't that strange? I'm actually thinking about something the voice uttered.

I'm officially mental

"I don't know.." I answered in a small voice. It was the truth. I didn't know if I could stand being completely alone…

I hate the voice.

_You can't… because you're weak….. because you're pathetic. _

"yeah, yeah. Leave me alone."

With that I blocked him out again. Curling myself into a little ball ignoring the look I got from Bill. One that was right smack dab between sadness and anger.

Anger that he couldn't just disembowel the voice. Sadness cause his littlest brother was insane.

Joy.

Dinner time came all to fast for my liking. They had inserted a small tube into me while I was in my coma to pump needed food into my body, trying very hard to put some sort of weight on my overly skeletal frame.

According to them I was severely malnourished and near a very prominent death should I get any skinner. But still, as if that horrid little tube did any good. All in all I gained only one pound, which brought my total weight to ninety-four.

Mum almost fainted when she heard that.

Now my mother has always been touchy when it came to our weight. Always fretting that we were far to skinny. And now that one of her children had actually reached the point of dangerously underweight, her resolve seems to have increased.

Significantly.

With all the food she had out when I arrived in the kitchen, you'd think she was cooking for a freakin army. … Or two for that matter. Not to mention all the dishes were incredibly heavy., and I was hit with a wave of their aroma almost at once.

I wanted to throw up.

I was promptly steered into a seat by Bill, who shot me such a glare when I opened my mouth to ask to leave that I swallowed my words very quickly indeed.

Jerk.

"Where's Fred, dears?"

Mum's voice sounded through the small kitchen. And for the first time I saw that he was missing. I also found that I really didn't care much.

"He said he wasn't hungry." George replied shooting a little glance at me.

_Your fault………. _

Not necessarily. Maybe he's sick? Or…. His inhuman battery has died. Or just really not hungry.

_You know it's your entire fault….. stop fooling yourself ….._

I wonder if there was a part of the brain in which the voice lives? Cause I could easily just chop that piece off. I don't use my whole brain anyways…..

Infact! I barley use any of it anymore.

"Nonsense! Someone go get him please." Mum ordered leaving no room for objections.

Told you her resolve had increased.

And although I hate to admit it, I felt horribly guilty. Plus I wanted to get away from all that food. So I offered to fetch the robot lord. Receiving a deathly horrid glare from Bill who wanted me under his eye at all times, and a promise that I was being timed.

Jerk.

I made my way slowly up the many stairs. Thankful for being away from the intoxicating smell of food, not so thankful to be heading up to the twins room.

What was I suppose to say?

Oh hey Fred I'm sorry about what I said I just didn't think a heartless jerk like you would care.

Yeah….. not going to happen. Bill would kill me. Or worse make me eat an entire plate of food.

It seemed like only a few seconds until I was standing rather un-bravely before his door. I didn't want to knock, I didn't even want to be there. So, cursing the fact that time flies when you want it to stop, I flat out opened the door without knocking or anything in warning.

Fred's eyes locked onto me from where he was laying sprawled out on his bed. I had expected to see hate there, what I infact saw was a deep sadness.

Of course I saw sadness! Hate would have been easy to deal with and the controller of 'easy' hated me.

"Hey.." I mumbled out pathetically.

"Hey." He replied, sitting up and staring at me with a weird expression. I could have read into it to find out exactly what it was that he was thinking, but I didn't care.

"Look. I'm sorry about what I said to you earlier. I did mean it Fred, I was just mad… and hurt..and.. I just wasn't thinking."

That sounded like a good enough apology didn't it? Much better then my original idea, which was to just plain blame it on the voice. Haven't you read those books where the voices in peoples head control what they do?

Why did I say I hate you? The voice told me to.

But I didn't want to seem anymore crazy then I already did. Plus the voice would probably do something more evil then usual as revenge.

When he didn't say anything back I just turned around fully prepared to just waltz right on out of there before Bill gave himself a heart attack with my absence. However the moment my thin hand made contact with the cool metal of the doorknob I was wrapped firmly into a pair of very, very strong arms.

When did Fred become as strong as Bill? And why the hell is he hugging me?

"It's alright Ronnie, I forgive you."

He said, another weird tone in his voice. What was up with him lately? Because honestly he's starting to act human……. Which just doesn't fit him at all.

I squirmed my overly thin, bony body out of his arms and proceeded to open the door.

"Good then. Lets get back downstairs before Bill gives himself a hernia shall we? I'm being timed mind you."

He just smiled at me and this horrible feeling filled the pit of my stomach. Somewhere between butterflies and another one I just couldn't place my finger on.

Needless to say I hurried away from him and down the stairs back to my doom in no time what-so-ever.

Between forcing down horrific nourishment into my already rebelling stomach, and getting a new weird feeling from my elder brother to whom I thought to be the ultimate evil, Id chose the battle with my stomach.

Id have to deal with it eventually anyways, though it was a close call as Mum was determined to make me eat at least half a plate.

Good luck to her on that.

In the end, after my lovely little conversation with Fred and the torture session that was called dinner I had successfully managed to eat quarter of my plate and add another reason to my ever-growing lists of reasons I disliked the twins.

Strongly…..

And quite frankly I was ready to call it a day. I had lost my knives, all except the ones under my floor if indeed they were still there, and had been put through hell with Bill as the devil.

Satan has even got to be nicer then him………..

Oh and my lovely eventful evening didn't stop there either!

Now when they said strict watch I expected to be followed, I expected to be monitored. Hell I even expected to be questioned like I was in an interrogation.

What I didn't expect however, is to be sitting in the bath tub completely naked and covered in bubbles with my dearest brother there to watch me.

Unnerving, would be an understatement. A big understatement.

What do they think? I'm going to drown myself? Poison myself with the soap? What the hell was so dangerous that they had to have Bill sit and watch me bathe?

This was hell. There was nothing Haties could do to me that was worse then this. Nothing else could possibly go wrong.

I scowled at the eldest sinking myself further into the bubble infested water. He just smiled at me and shook his head returning to his paper, looking up only when the door was promptly thrown opened and in walked Fred.

Just when I think my life has hit the bottom, one of the twins comes and informs me I still have a long way to fall. And that there were sharp, pointy, spider infested rocks waiting for me at the end.

I hate them all.

He looked very odd indeed however, as though he was trying not to look in my direction, but failing horribly as his eyes bore into me.

That was a bit creepy…. Bill's look of smug happiness and knowing only adding to that feeling. Like they all knew something I didn't….. about Fred….. This made a new question come to my already messed up mind.

What exactly did they know that was so desperately secret?

"You have a message from Gringotts Bill.."

Fred spoke, as though he was forcing comprehendible words out. And considering that he was Fred, I didn't doubt that at all.

"I'm guessing Charlie sent you up here to get me then correct?" Bill replied a smile still on his face.

"Well, watch our little gem for me then while I go take this message. And mind you Fred, watch him very closely."

I sputtered horribly for a full six minutes at this.

One, how dare they leave me in the presence of one of the terrible twos while I was in the tub, and two when the hell did I become quote, 'our little gem'?

Jerk.

_Fred wants to drown you Ron……. Let him…… let him end your pain……_

"Go to hell."

I snapped causing the eldest to stop in the doorway and shoot me one of his 'what did you just say' looks.

Strictly speaking I wasn't supposed to cuss.

"Not you."

I sneered at them both sinking further into the luke warm water. Talking to the voice was indeed becoming quite a hassle.

Bill just uttered a sigh, poked Fred in the ribs and disappeared out the doorway. Leaving me and the god of horrible alone within the confines of a small room.

Which sucked…. Why didn't he just leave me with a freakin rabid werewolf? Those were much nicer then the twins.

Less dangerous too.

I scowled at him openly, noticing his immediate state of unease. Almost as if he was deathly nervous. The same way he had been at the hospital when I pulled my gown up.

Why was he being so damn weird all of a sudden…………………Not that he hadn't always been a bit odd to began with, mind you.

After of few minutes of awkward silence on my elder brother's part, and agonizing hatred on mine I finally snapped.

"What the matter with you?" I basically growled.

I know I shouldn't be so mean to everyone, but then if someone had to sit and watch you bathe you'd be angry as well.

_So cruel….. drown yourself …. drown….._

Fred eyes locked onto me. And when I say me I mean that they were tracing along my body no where near my eyes. Which put me into a more awkward position.

"Nothing…" He said in a barley audible voice that was laced through with a tone I had never heard from him before.

He gets stranger by the second doesn't he?

I shifted in the bath tub trying to pull myself up so I could promptly curl myself into a little ball, however that idea was quickly tossed aside as I slipped and found myself completely underwater.

And this was bad as I wasn't expecting it and managed to swallow a whole bunch of soapy water in the fall.

My day keeps getting better and better does it not?

And it only got worse when I felt myself ripped from the tub, lifted up and out of the water faster then I had fallen beneath it. Now having soap in your mouth is no holiday, having it in your eyes is even worse, and I currently had it in both.

More joy.

When I did get my eyes to stop burning enough to open them I thoroughly wished the soap had blinded me.

Here I was sopping wet, and naked being held firmly against my brother's chest with his face only inches from my own.

I wanted to die, and I felt my face immediately heat up in what was sure to be a profound blush, at the more then horrible situation I found myself in.

I think Fred was frozen as well, as he didn't let me go. Just stood there still as a statue with his face so close to mine I could feel his breath across my skin.

I would have forcefully told him to let me down so I could wrap myself in a towel and curl up into a dark corner to die of embarrassment, but I didn't remember how to speak….. or breathe for that matter.

"What's going on here?" Came the amused voice of Bill from the doorway.

This made me want to die ten times more as it added to the whole misery of the experience by having someone there to witness it, but it did however break Fred out of his ice like stage and he put me down quickly, handing me a towel just as fast before turning his back and staring almost desperately at the wall.

I was stunned to complete stillness for a second when I remembered that I was infact naked, and wrapped the towel firmly around myself.

It wasn't as if I was to afraid of them seeing me in an unclothed state, I mean they were my brothers after all but I looked like a skeleton. My bones showed very well and it disgusted me to have to look at them. I never wanted anyone else to see it.

_Your disgusting….. a horrible corpse….._

Yes I was.

_You should be in a grave….. with all the other abominations…. _

I ran past them and back up the rickety staircase to my room as fast as my skeletal legs would carry me. Another wave of horrid depression kicking in almost at once. I was horrible….. and monster…. And they saw me…… they saw exactly what I had become.

Even though that had probably already seen at the hospital, I was to… unconscious to care at that time.

_Your knives…. Find them…._

I would find them, I would indeed. That was if Bill hadn't walked right into the room only moments after me, a look of utter amusement on his face.

Jerk.

"What are you so happy about?" I snapped horribly, jerking on some cloths and crawling to the corner of my bed where I could hopefully turn my self into an inexistent shadow.

As if I could….

_You are inexistent ……… a nothing…._

"Tell that to Bill.."

"Tell what to me?"

I heard the elder ask with some concern in his voice, as he pulled on his own night cloths.

"Nothing."

I spat verbally at him, how dare he eavesdrop on me and my not-so-kind……. Not-so-sane conversations……………. With…… myself.

What? Eavesdropping is eavesdropping none-the-less.

"Ron did….. have….. nevermind.."

Bill mumbled with a sigh crawling into bed and dousing the light with a mere wave of his wand.

The eldest at a loss for words. Mark this date on a calendar somewhere…… notify the Daily Prophet…. Make a national holiday! Such things don't normally happen.

Tis a very rare occasion indeed.

I waited silently and still for what seems like hours, listening for the deep slow breaths that signify one is sleeping. I wanted to see my knives….. I really, really did….

_Cut right this time……. And you can die correctly……_

"I can't try suicide again… not with bill in the same room. Do you know what could happen?"

_Weakling……….. pathetic boy………. Horrid child……_

"Shut up you! Or he'll wake up."

I snapped cautiously crawling out of bed and willing the floorboards not to creek as I made my way over to my brother's side of the tiny room.

I slipped my way under his bed, careful not to jostle it in the least in my quest. My floorboard was just where it should be and I wrenched it up with out a problem, hoping beyond hope as I reached my hand in that I may find salvation.

They were there. All of them! Six knives, four razors, ten lighters, and an assortment of glass and matches.

I laughed despite myself, my horrific turns of emotions going from misery to joy in a split second, as I hurriedly grabbed out a knife and cut a long slit down my leg.

Pain, my sweet lovely pain. And blood, lots……..

The joys of insanity!

"_Slit you're…."_

I ignored the voice just then, content with marring as much of my flesh as I could where it wouldn't be visible for the warden's inspections.

The warden being Bill.

Jerk.

What had once been joy turned into complete and utter happiness as I stashed my beautiful items back into the floor, after having cleaned up the bloody mess mind you.

I hadn't realized I was making so much noise until I crawled into bed and silence overtook me once more.

Thankfully though Bill was still nestled beneath his covers, preparing for another day of torturing me no doubt.

I really don't think I have made clear enough that he is, in all truths, a jerk.

I slipped into darkness immediately, more like falling out of conscience rather then sleeping but I wasn't going to complain. The less I had to deal with the nightmares the better.

But it seemed nightmares found me during the day more often then at night.

Because, first thing the next morning when Bill left me in my room alone to get changed I hurried back to my precious floorboard eager to see my lovely, shiny, metals.

They were all gone.

-------------------------

Another lovely cliffhanger. I told you I have a bad habit of doing that.

Well there it is my dears. Once more I wanted it to turn out differently, infact I'm desperately trying to get a very important place in the fic. One that was suppose to happen in chapter three, then it was suppose to occur in this chapter, sadly it seems it wont even be mentioned till then end of my sixth update.

I really need to stop rambling on in my fics now don't I.

Well happy fourth of July my loves!

-Elixier


	6. Chapter 6

Broken Beyond Compare

FINALLY! I have it done!  
And I must thank you all for sticking with me through my computer issues and such to get to this update. I love you all so very much, and just know that I did this all for you guys!

All my love.  
-Elixier

-------------------

Chapter 6

------------------

Every single item down to the last shard of glass was missing. What had been there only a few hours before was now gone. And I could already feel the thin strands of my sanity breaking.

This was all to much, why did they all insist on torturing me?

_They hate you Ron…… they hate you so much…._

"Their not there." A voice said from the doorway, causing me to whip around and send a full blown glare at the intruder.

Who the hell did he think he was? I hated him so much at that minute I could have probably killed him.

"Give them back Bill… I need them. You had no right to take them."

Bill's eyes bored into me as he sent me his customary _I had every right to be a full blown arse and destroy your life _look.

Jerk.

"No right? You're lucky I didn't rip them away from you when you were slitting up your body last night."

I was seething, so he was awake then. That proved that he was indeed a good actor….. which sucked for me.

_Your fault…. Should have been more careful…_

"I need them. Give them back."

I was screaming right at him now, my words filled with horrid rage and a definite sadness. Once more my horrid mix of emotions was coming back at me full force, and it was doing me no good for this argument.

"You do not need them. And you're not getting them back."

He said in a tone that suggested that was indeed the final case of this fight. Oh but you had better believe I wasn't going to allow him to get off so easily.

"Go to hell Bill. Haven't you caused me enough problems in the past few days?"

I bite out furiously. Now if I had been dealing with a normal human being they would have looked slightly hurt at those words.

Bill, who is the opposite of normal, looked ever the more determined, and I instantly remembered why I never tried to get my way with the eldest as a child. The man was made of ice, even my best crying when I was little didn't faze him.

Jerk.

"Give them back." I screamed at his still stoic form picking up the nearest pillow and throwing it at him with all my might.

My might being the power of a little girl as I had a total collection of muscles that would equal out to zero. Basically I had the body of a small female, I even had curves.

Sad, huh?

And to my disdain he caught the pillow before it hit him and tossed it carelessly to his own bed.

"Your not getting them back Ron."

He stated cool and calm. I hated how he seemed to have everything in order when I myself was so very fucked up.

"No."

I snapped crossing room and promptly hitting him in the chest.

"I need them…"

I don't know exactly when it was that I started to pound on him with both my fist as if determined to hurt him at least a bit, but that's exactly where we ended up. Me, face covered in unwanted, horrible tears beating on the muscular chest of my eldest brother and him not even flinching in the slightest.

"I hate you…. I hate you so much…"

I began mumbling pathetically still treating him as if he was indeed a punching bag.

I had attracted the rest of my family up to my room by now with all the noise. Seven pairs of eyes stared at me with pity evident.

I hated it, and it only served to fuel my anger ever the more.

"Ron….."

Charlie ventured standing before Mum who looked as if she were on the verge of a breakdown.

I ignored him, concentrating on hitting every part of Bill I could reach, without success though because in what seemed like no time my already low supply of energy from not eating and sleep deprivation gave out on me and I fell before the eldest, my body racking with uncontained sobs.

_So weak…. So pathetic……… you're such a disgrace…_

"I know.."

Bill, who mind you was still unmoved by my attack, kneeled before me obviously attempting to calm me down as I was seriously in threat of hyperventilating. For some reason it seemed that I couldn't get enough air into my lungs and that moment and I felt increasingly light headed.

Maybe I'll get lucky and black out.

I felt his hands gently tracing my back and flinched away from him so fast that even he looked a bit taken aback.

"Don't touch me.."

I whispered with what was left of my oxygen, going back to being in a state halfway between sobbing and trying to refill my uncooperative lungs.

"You need to clam down Ron, your not getting enough air."

He once more tired to move close to me, but I was not going to let him within arms length. It was all his fault after all.

_Your fault….. its you who's fucked up Ron .. not him_

"Get out."

I screamed venomously at them all, hating them at the moment. And to my great surprise they left, even Bill, though he didn't leave willingly but was rather dragged out by Charlie who mumbled something to get him to agree.

Once more it was like they all knew something I didn't.

Jerks…. All of them, every single one.

I was still slightly hyperventilating but I didn't care, at least I was alone. Or at least I though I was alone until I felt myself be lifted off the ground with such ease that it nearly made all the very little air I had left leave me.

At first I though it was Bill from the obvious strength of the person, only to find myself firmly wrapped into the lap of one of the twins. I didn't know which one it was and I didn't care to find out at the moment.

"Don't touch."

I protested weakly, but all energy for further argument had been used up earlier in my battle with Satan.

Satan being Bill mind you, for all the people who haven't caught the fact that my eldest brother controls hell.

"Shhh, Ronnie. Calm down, you need to breath."

The mystery of the twin has been solved. It was Fred. Go figure, the one person besides Bill I would rather not have around at this moment is the one clutching me to his chest.

What's even worse is that I was letting him, not having the will to move I just leaned my bony body into the strong chest. The beat of his heart claming me down far more then his voice that was currently washing over me in a soothing tone, finally enabling me to indeed breathe correctly again.

What he was actually saying was beyond me, I didn't care to listen to him talk anyways.

I'm not sure why I like the sound of a beating heart so much, but I do. It helped me keep that last grasp of reality and mentality … at least for the moment. But the fact that it was Fred who I was clinging too unnerved me to no possible end.

I must have fainted or something of the like after that because my next lucid thought was seeing a smiling face and a head full of pinned up brown hair inches away from me.

I jumped and backed into the wall that was now directly against my bed, hitting my skull with a sickening thud in the act.

Now if you woke up with an unknown face so very close to yours, you would freak out as well. So don't look at me that way.

"I didn't mean to frighten you Ron. You remember me correct? I'm Doctor Shelly, we met at the hospital just yesterday."

The overly happy bug woman was back.

Could this day get any worse?

I curled myself into the corner of my bed, just realizing that my small room was occupied by my father, who was obviously here to offer some sort of support. Bill, who I wished would just jump off a cliff, and Fred, why he was here I didn't know… but he seemed to be around me quite a lot lately so I cared not to read into this.

Damn them all.

_They think your sick….. think your horrible…_

"I didn't notice." I snapped sarcastically at the voice. Wishing that it would jump off a cliff as well as Bill.

"You didn't notice what?"

The doctor replied with a smile, taking up location on the bed of the eldest, just across from me. Her face was painted in the same way it had been at the hospital.

Too much make-up in my opinion, but who cared.

"Nothing."

I spat, the remembrance of what had happened just this morning coming back to me at a horrible speed. Bill took my knives, that complete monster took my only form of salvation.

Jerk.

"So, I heard we had a bit of a problem this morning."

Doctor Shelly went right on talking, completely ignoring my deadly tone. It was like she was never fazed by anything, as if she had everything under control.

Oh my god, she's like a female Bill.

"Would you mind if I asked to see your arms and legs?"

She then asked, no doubt to check out exactly how many cuts I had put on myself last night.

So she had been told about my lovely, yet short, visitation with my beautiful cure?

I hate her.

"I do mind actually." I said turning away from them all and staring at the wall as though it held something dear to me.

Unfortunately I could stare at it until I turned a nice shade of blue and I doubt that it would miraculous turn into a knife.. or razor.. or something equally pointy and dangerous.

"Well, I'm afraid I must insist to see. Now I really want us to be friends Ron, but if you don't show me willingly you will have to by force."

It never failed to amaze me how people can threaten someone in a cheerful voice.

I didn't want to know what she meant by force, so I didn't ask nor did I turn around or make any move to show her my work. Cause at this point I didn't really give a shit what happened to me.

If the bug woman wanted to see my cuts then dammit she'd have to do it by force. I'm not helping them put me through misery.

Who the hell gave them the right to destroy my life anyways? That was strictly mine and the voices job.

_She wants to see the evidence of your weakness… you pathetic boy… weakling.. abomination…_

And the voice was doing his job just fine at that.

Hands grasp my shoulder and I was soon turned around to face the doctor. Obviously, she meant what she said about force. Bill and my father were currently pulling up the sleeves to the long sweater that hung loosely off my bony frame. Outstretching my now bare arms for the one Doc. Shelly to investigate.

My arms weren't that bad though, just a few mild scratches.. I had been worried about people finding out about the hidden knives last night so I chose not to taint any visible part of my body to bad. In truth I needent have bothered as Bill was awake anyways.

I should have just slaughtered my arm. Jerk.

My legs however, which is where they checked next, were another story. They were badly silted. And I was damn proud of the marks to. Who cares if its gruesome, I'm insane anyways.

Besides who knew when id be able to find something to cut with next, so I had to make it last.

The rest of our lovely little session went pretty much the same. The bug lady would ask a question and I would ignore her. Much to the demise of my father who seemed to be on a verge of a breakdown now himself.. and Bill who looked homicidal.

After three most lovely hours of getting not even a word from me Doctor Shelly relented and snapped back to her office to _record _her findings.

I have no idea what that meant by that because as far as I was concerned the only thing she found out was that I really didn't like her.

Which mind you, she should have already known.

"You missed breakfast Ronnie, you'll have to eat a bit more at dinner.."

Dad spoke once the doctor was out the door. His blue eye's locked onto me in a way that I was sure suggested he was trying desperately to figure out what to do.

Shame really. He should have been prepared for a psycho child somewhere along the line I mean he had seven children. Did he expect all of them to turn out right?

_You're an abomination……. worthless.. your family deserves so much better then the likes of you._

"I know that… Why do you feel the need to point out the obvious?"

I spat at the voice. Causing my father to clamp his eyes fully shut and walk out the door as if he were facing death itself.

_Because you seem to miss the obvious.. you need to die.. end all your pain.. do it…_

"Is that so? Well divine one, tell me exactly how to commit suicide right now and I swear to god ill do it."

"Ron."

Bill snapped, appalled at my conversation with .. myself.

"I wasn't talking to you."

I snapped right back, appalled that he could be so damn interfering. Plus I was already pissed at him anyways for taking my knives.

Jerk.

"Stop it. Stop it right fucking now. Ignore the voice in your damn head and stop thinking about suicide cause were not letting you kill yourself."

"Id love to see you try to stop me."

I replied, laying right back down on the bed and staring at the off-white ceiling.

_They've already stopped you once.. don't let them do it again… _

The eldest opened his mouth as if to tell me that he would indeed be there to stop me every time I tried to escape the pain.

Satan and all his little demons come to make sure I live out the rest of my horrid life.

"Bill don't."

Fred said from the corner, causing me to jump a bit as I didn't remember he was even there. Indeed he had been very quiet for the past three hours while I was interrogated by the bug lady.

Fred was never quiet.. he was most definitely sick.

And there it was. The knowing glance, the secret which was eating away at me every single time Fred said something and Bill listened. It was unnerving, and I was already messed up enough for today.

Thus unnerving me wasn't a good thing.

"What the hell is wrong with the two of you? When did people start listening to Fred?"

I spat, hating them both now more then ever.

"No one's listening to anyone Ron. This is a family effort."

Bill replied unfazed as usual by my increasing outbursts.

"This is not a family effort. Its my business and none of you had any right to jump into it."

"No right?"

Bill snapped right back at me. Ohh I was pissing him off, good. He deserved to be pissed, hell he deserved to get attacked by giant marshmallows.

_Disgusting child…_

"We had every single right to do what we did Ron. When you started slitting yourself up your made it our business."

"Bill stop."

Fred sent him a glare that clearly said, shut up. It amazes me how delirious he is.. why was he sticking up for me?

It was kinda freaking me out..

"You think you can do better, be my guest."

The eldest sighed before waltzing right out of the room.

In seek of headache medication no doubt.

I sneered at his retreating back, wiling the staircase to swallow him whole.

As if that would ever happen.

"You know he acts the way he does only because he loves you and he's worried about you."

Fred said, much closer to me now. He seemed to have moved from his corner to sit on the edge of my bed. Unnerving close to where I sat.

Joy.

"If he loved me, he would have let me kill myself. You all would have let me.. Why am I talking to you?"

I snapped realizing that I was indeed carrying on a 'human worthy' conversation with a robot.

And that just simply will not do.

There it was. That flash of hurt and other unknown emotions that danced their way across my elder brother's eyes. I'm not sure when it was exactly that I started staring at his eyes… but I wrote it off as going mental, it was easier then trying to find the reason as to why I was always looking at him.

And why he was always looking at me.

"We all love you, Ron. Some…. More then you understand."

Fred sighed, turning to look at me.

There was a weird air about, as if indeed he was about to confess some deep secret. I didn't like this at all… No matter how much it annoyed me that all my other brothers knew something about him that I didn't. I did not want to hear it from him, himself.. and not when I was already in an ocean of different feelings due to this morning's lovely episode.

_He hates you.. he wants to kill you… that's the secret… that's it…….._

You know the voice may have a point there. Considering this is Fred I wouldn't doubt it.

"Ron… I"

He began as if he was trying to stop himself form saying what it was that he was going to say. Like he was afraid of something that he so desperately wanted.

Does that even make sense? I'm far to fucked up right now to read into the complex nature of a robot.

"I don't care."

I said in a strained voice, rolling on my side to face away from him. And in truth I didn't really care, not at the moment. The only thing I cared about right now is how it was I was going to get out of this… if even there was a way out of it.

Which I doubt.

_Kill yourself… kill… die.._

"Ron… this is kinda important.. well to me at least.. I was .. um..Im.."

Fred was practically choking on his words. Which was weird considering that I have never in my fourteen years of life seen either of the twins in a state of awkwardness.

He was very sick. Perhaps they should take him to St. Mungos.

"Fred. In all honesty I really don't care what it is you have to say because there a definite possibility that it has little or nothing to do with me anyways and I have enough to deal with right now."

I snapped, halfway between utterly pissed at him for being… .. mortal and half strained for the fact that for some reason I was desperately low on energy.

You'd think being in bed most of the day wouldn't take away all you will to move.

Well, you'd be wrong.

I heard a sigh, then suddenly the weight that was on the edge of my bed was gone and I heard the distinct snap of the door closing.

Finally, alone.

Wait… I'm alone..

I jumped out of bed practically falling onto the floor in the act to look around the room, indeed making sure that I was alone.

And I was…. But it wouldn't be for long, I knew that if Satan got wind I had be left to my own devices he'd be back up here to torture me in no time flat.

_I know the way Ron… I know how you can end it….. I know.. Listen to me.._

My heart skipped a beat and for once I was willing to hear what the voice had to say. If there was a way.. the slightest way to escape the pain that I was constantly in, I could except my insanity for actually talking AND listening to that horrid voice.

_The window Ronnie…. Break the window.. the glass … it can cut you… it can rip you… kill you.. end the pain… end it all… _

I took a deep breath and walked to the window, staring at it intently. I put my pale, bony fingers to the cool glass, sliding them down in almost hypnotically.

Would this even work? The glass was a bit thick..

_Do it….. do it now you stupid child… do it before you get caught…_

It was getting louder as it had that one day. This scared me more then the thought of not being able to break the glass did, I had seen the voice at its worst.

It was not a pretty site.

My green eyes turned to the dresser by the window. I knew that there wasn't a chance in hell I could break it with my fists.. like I said I own no muscles. Id break my wrist before I even cracked the glass.

_DO IT… with enough force you'll break the window with your fists.. who cares if you break your wrist .. you wont need it when our dead._

This was true.

I drew in a breath a pulled my hand back, staring at the cool pane of glass before me. I got one shot at this, only one.

With one more unsure breath and a scream from the voice in the back of my mind I flung my shaking hand forward hitting the glass with every ounce of strength I could muster.

The crack of my bones could be heard clearly with the impact, along with the shattering of glass and a splatter of blood.

My heart seized in my chest as I stared at the rapidly darkening vision in front of me. There was my bony hand, bent at an odd angle and covered in seeping blood. Where was the blood coming from? A large, pointy, and now. Red piece of glass that was sticking directly through my wrist.

Strange enough I felt no pain, even with a spear of window pane going right through my veins and bones in the most unpleasant of ways no feelings found me.

"Ron?….. Oh my god.."

Whoever it was that came in was beyond me, my vision went dark and suddenly everything was over. All the pain, all the misery, all the fear.. It was gone.

Who ever knew breaking a window then shoving your arm down so a piece of pointy glass impales you could be my saving grace?

I finally had my peace.. my everlasting ticket to darkness.

Or so I thought.

"You've finally woken up then?"

I heard a soft voice of to my right speak, as I slowly opened my eyes to the bright overpowering lights.

Well this was vaguely familiar. How does a person manage to fail at suicide twice? This must be some sort of curse.. some conspiracy against me formed by the gods…

Who must hate me in some way… but then who could blame them? I even hate me.

"How are you feeling?"

The same voice spoke again, and I turned my head to find myself face to face with Fred.

More joy.

"How do you think I'm feeling?"

I bit out harshly, willing him to just evaporate.

"Now Ron that no way to speak to your older sibling. Especially since he spent the last three days by your side."

I almost groaned and tried desperately to crawl back under the covers and sink into a self inflicted coma.

Out of all people on this planet, including Fred, George, and Bill, the person who just spoke was the very last id like to see at that moment.

Doctor Shelly.

Bitch…

"Now that will do you no use. I've sent your family home to pack you a bag Ron. I see no reason to drag out the truth so I'm going to tell you right now what's going to happen. Besides I think a smart boy like you deserves to know the truth."

This lady was like those ugly blond dolls that muggle girls play with. Always wearing horrible make up and who never stops smiling.

Shame you couldn't just throw her out like a doll though.

"Due to your recent.. activities. We cannot possibly send you home.. You will be moved somewhere safe.. a facility for your own special needs."

I sat up in the small hospital bed so quick that I even made Fred jump a little bit. No one was in the room besides me, the robot, and the bug lady so she had been right in saying she sent them home to pack.

Shelly though went right on talking as if she hadn't noticed my sudden movements, her voice just as cheerful as ever.

Fred had a look on his own face that suggested he was just informed his favorite thing in the world just became inexistent.

And for once, when he grasped my hand I let him hold onto it, pulling myself to the edge of the bed and burying my face in his chest. Ignoring how he stiffened at first, but then wrapped his arms around me in return.

I blocked out the everlasting drone of the doctor, I knew what was going to happen.. and though I hate to admit it fear was clutching at me as though determined to drag me into its darkened abyss.

_You failed again…… pathetic stupid.. you know what's going to happen now Ronnie…_

And I did. I did know what was going to happen, and in a way I wasn't really surprised.. I suppose I always expected it to eventually occur.. but I never thought id be this afraid of it.

Afraid enough to lock myself within Fred's, who I hate, embrace. And that was saying something.

I was being sent to an asylum.

-------------------

Not good I know. Blame the horrible gap between when I started it and when I was able to work on it again due to computer failure.  
BUT! I finally got to the place I wanted in the fic. The Asylum!

Now my lovelys! The real fun begins! The long and desperately horrible road to recovery is just beginning.. and trust me, If you think our dearest Ronnie is bad now!  
He'll only get worse.

Poor Fred, no?

Reviews make my world spin.  
-Elixier


	7. Chapter 7

Broken Beyond Compare

**:Warnings: **Self Mutilation : Attempted Suicide : Sexual Content : Rape : Molestation : Incest : Chan-cest : Yaoi : Swearing : Drug Use :

Ok, so why did I add the warnings in again? WELL! I just want to make sure you all read them. I have them on this first chapter of course, but the next updates are going to be dealing with a lot of the darker elements of the fic.

So I just want you all to know what to expect instead of sending me an _OMG! WTF! Why didn't you warn us you were going to do that? T-T _ In a review. Read the warnings.. understand the warnings.. they are your friends…

Alrighty now that that's all done, I have finished chapter seven! YAY.  
There's nothing really to dramatic in this chapter, just the basic layout of the asylum and what illnesses our poor Ronnie is going through. Nothing to special, the real fun starts in the next chapter!

And feel very sorry for Ron and Fred, their hell is only just beginning.  
Love you all and without further ado! On with the tale!

-Elixier

-------------------

Chapter 7

-------------------

I eyed the dark stained wooden door before me with a mixed feeling. Half of which was an overwhelming hatred. How dare they put me here, in this place... with these people. The other half was of fear.. because in truth I didn't know what to expect. Yes, I had always imagined myself turning up here eventually but I never thought of what it would be like.

Because, in truth, I thought I would be long dead before I arrived.

_You would have been dead…. But you failed…. You failed horribly….pathetic… weak.._

I bit my tongue to restrain lashing out at the damn voice, it wouldn't serve me well here.

The 'safe facility' they had chosen to lock me in was the Needleburg Asylum. Where was it located? No idea. Do I care? Not really. It could be located in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean for all I care. But once more were getting off the subject.

The Needleburg Asylum, one of the very few magical asylums in the world, was made specifically for insane wizards. They had one for loony witches as well but it wasn't anywhere near here. This one was strictly for boys.

Which is good, as me and girls never get along to well.

_Because you don't like girls……. You're sick.._

I scowled at the off-white floors, wishing the voice could see it. I knew I would have to come to terms with the fact that I was attracted to guys sooner or later……. But right now denial was so much easier.

Infact... denial was always easier…which is why I constantly chose it over truth.

The door I had been looking at suddenly flew open, jerking me from my thoughts instantly, as a total of seven people walked out. My mum and dad of course, both looking lost and more then a little upset. Bill, who had his face set in an unreadable expression. Fred, who I didn't even bother to look at, the bug lady, who was smiling in the same false _I'm destroying what's left of your life_ way. And two people to whom I had never met.

One was an extremely built male. He looked to have as many muscles as Bill... perhaps even more. Not to mention he was horribly tall with short dirty blond hair and deep brown eyes. He smiled at me and I found myself slightly unnerved. I got a bad feeling from this man... but then now-a-days I get bad feelings from the air I breathe.

So it really wasn't all that dependable.

The other was a lady, older then my own mother by far with lots of pinned up curly grey hair. She was dressed in all blue, standing out rather awkwardly beside the male who was dressed in white. She seemed to have hazel eyes that were hidden well under the many wrinkles and lines that covered her face with age. She smiled at me as well and I fought the urge to run.

"Ron, this is Mrs. Victoria Takken, she's the owner of the hospital, and this is Mr. Adam Briac, he's the head nurse in your wing."

Doctor Shelly stated happily gesturing to the two people beside her with a bright smile. The lady hurried forward and grasped my hand before I had any say in the matter. And I once more had to fight the urge to just scream and get away. When did I become so damn paranoid?

_You were always paranoid… always… cause you're a freak….._

Oh please shut up...

"Nice to meet you Ron, I'm very pleased you'll be joining us here at Needleburg."

The old woman said as if nothing could make her happier then locking up mentally unstable people.

The male made his way forward next and grasped my hand as well, he said nothing but sent me a wink and a smile. I saw Fred frown at this out of the corner of my eye, normally I wouldn't have been paying attention to anyone around me… but I was looking for an escape route.

"Well then!"

The old woman said briskly, clapping her hands as if to add enthusiasm to her words as she probably just realized I'm not as thrilled as her to be here.

"Ill let you say your good-byes, then we shall take you into the building for a tour my dear."

I wanted to cry, watching the three people back away to talk in the far corner of the room leaving me and my four family members to speak in private before they lead me to my doom.

"I don't want to stay here.."

I mumbled out pathetically, knowing perfectly well it would serve me no good. Its not like any of us had a choice in the matter. Mum and Dad had already been informed that this was out of their hands and I had but no choice but to go along with it.

"We know Ron, we don't want you here either….. but we'll visit every chance we get.. and you'll be taken care of….. We don't want you hurt."

Dad replied, obviously trying to comfort me in some way. Mum was beyond speaking as no words could make it through her silent sobs. Bill had his face set, as if he wasn't pleased at all with the doctors putting me here.

He obviously thought he was a much better supervisor for my oh-so-crazy self, then these highly trained professionals could ever be.

Fred on the other hand was not set or sobbing. In fact he had positioned himself in the chair right next to where I sat, firmly holding my hand and downright refusing to let it go no matter how hard I tugged.

In the end, I gave each of them a hug, and was lead by the arm away from the small group through a wooden door to the left.

The last glance of them I had was of Fred….. that strange look back in his eyes and an expression that suggested he just lost something very dear to him.

Perhaps he should be the one being lead into an asylum?

The walls were an off-white color same as the room that I had been in previously. It seemed the same color of paint practically traveled throughout the entire facility and I had a fleeting image of a horror movie that dad told me muggles watched. The floor was a tan speckled white tile, however I noticed that when the hall lead into rooms it turned into a navy blue carpet.

Whoever chose colors for this place had to of been impaired in some way.

_You're the one impaired…… its your fault were here….. all your fault…._

"Oh, and you had absolutely nothing to do with it."

I snapped out of irritation. This was going to suck, I knew there was no way possible I was ever going to miraculously become 'sane' so my entire strategy was to pretend.

This tactic was failing horribly.

"Nothing to do with what dear?"

Ms. Takken said absently stopping at a white door with a window on it. It looked very much like one of the hospital doors at St. Mungo's and was equipped with about three locks.

I felt my stomach lurch at the realization that I was indeed going to be locked up within the walls of this place. I knew this well of course however, it hadn't really set in until I saw it with my own eyes.

_Your fault…._

Doctor Shelly whispered something to the grey haired lady whom nodded in return and gave me a small smile while unlocking the door before us.

Obviously the lovely doctor had informed the owner of this hell exactly who it was that I was talking to. …. Which would be the voice.

Joy.

"Alrighty then! This is wing D, where you'll be staying. First off, up here we have the lounge."

Ms. Takken drawled off with pride and joy, and if she were showing someone around a museum filled with amazing artifacts that she herself had found.

Disturbing.

The lounge itself wasn't anything special. It held three large deep blue couches that sat around a white fireplace. There was a long table in the center of the couches that bared wizard magazines as well as some strewn books. Several squishy looking chairs lined the room along with very many cushions that dotted the navy carpet.

There were only six people in this room at the moment, none of which were paying me the slightest mind. One of them seemed to be staring into nothingness.. he almost looked dead…. This was a creepy factor. Two were sitting off in a corner obviously in the middle of some game or other. Two others sat talking quietly, only looking over to glance at me before continuing their conversation and the last had his nosed firmly pressed into a book.

"This way then dear."

The elderly lady said, as she and the head nurse guy lead me through the rest of the wing I was to be locked in.

All in all it wasn't anything spectacular, nor was it the horror I had expected. They had an arts room which turned out to be a gigantic space with hardwood floors and a ton of tables. The walls were dotted with cupboards that held a vast selection of art supplies as well as a gated off area that held musical instruments. I was pointedly informed that no one was allowed to be in here without supervision.

Why? What did they think someone was going to kill themselves by drinking paint?

The wing was also equipped with a small library that held only four dark wooden shelves lined with books I didn't even care to read the titles of, a gymnasium with was home to nothing but a hard wood floor just like the art room, some mats and some balls. I noted that there was no rope for any kind of spot I hear that some muggles play.

Probably for the fact that someone might try to hang themselves with them.

The cafeteria was filled with circular tables, and turned out to be the only room I had seen so far that was void of the off-white walls. These walls were a pale green, not much better in my opinion but at least there was some change. They were obviously cooking up lunch or something cause I could smell the food and it made my already twisting stomach lurch and threaten to revolt against me should I dare try to eat.

I had the unfortunate feeling that I would have little choice however.

The bathroom however is what really got me scared. The toilet area was normal, looked like a public restroom with all the stales and such. Nothing weird there. However the shower area got me into a state of utter terror. It was just one large room, with shower heads attached to the ceiling. Which if course told me I wouldn't be bathing alone.

And I thought I had problems when Bill was watching me.. at least then I was covered in bubbles and .. not visible.

This was hell, and I found myself longing to be under the watch of Bill again. Which is saying something as I really hated him.

The Jerk.

After what seemed like forever in the presence of my three guides, and forever being glanced at by the many people that plagued the wing, I was lead to a hall that held a ton of doors. I didn't count them for the fact that I was finding it far easier to just stare at the floor for now that I had seen the horrors of the bathroom. Much easier indeed.

I was taken about halfway down before we stopped outside a room that held the same white, windowed door as did the entrance to this wing.

Obviously any sort of privacy was unheard of here.

More joy.

"This will be your room."

Ms. Takken informed me happily opening the door and practically pushing me inside. It was very plain, off-white walls navy carpet. It held two beds one which was made up and one which was just a mattress with linens and a pillow at the foot. Two desks, one which had books and papers on it and one empty. And two shelves one full, one void. The wall on one side was covered in posters and drawings of things I didn't care to look at the moment.

What did this all tell me?

I have a roommate.

"You'll be rooming with Lance Fresia. He's obviously not here right now, but you'll meet him later."

Takken smiled and gestured to the empty half of the room.

"This is your side, just set your stuff down, you'll have time to unpack after your appointment. Adam will lead you there, if you have any questions I'm sure Adam himself will be glad to help you or you can just pop into my office for a chat."

She piped with an unbearably happy tone before disappearing out the door and leaving me in the presence of the bug lady and Adam the head-nurse.

Yay! Sarcasm? You betcha.

_This is completely your doing.. are you happy.. is this what you wanted? To be locked up like the sick creature you are?_

I practically whimpered, not at all able to think of some horrid conspiracy to throw at the dame voice for daring to say such a thing when I was so clearly not able to snap back at him.

Ass.

"This way then Ronnie."

Adam stated once I had set my bag down on the unmade mattress, sending me another smile. I twitched mentally at the nickname. I didn't like the way this man acted.. he creeped me out.

_Everything creeps you out. _

Ass.

"Ron, I will visit you once every two weeks for a session. Your new physiatrist will be Mr. Bick. He's a fine gentlemen. Well, Ill see you in two weeks, I'm sure Adam here will explain how things work to you on the way to Bicks office."

Doctor Shelly said flashing me with another of her fake smiles before disappearing the same Takken had done almost moments before.

I followed Adam, I just assumed he was to be called that rather then Mr. Briac, out the door and back into the seemingly endless corridors. Trying to put as much room between me and him as mortally possible, however he would have none of this and stuck close to my side.

"Ok, procedures. We have visiting day every two weeks, that's when your family will come to see you. Breakfast is at seven, lunch is at twelve, and dinner is at five. You will show up and eat something at all of them. You shower twice a day at the time scheduled for you, once in the morning once in the evening. Pill duty comes three times a day to give you meds, what meds you take will be up to Bick. You are not allowed on the grounds or in the art room and gym without being told so and supervised, bedtime is at ten and wake-up call is six thirty. Any questions?"

My first ultimate impression of this guy was that one, he was creepy and two, he really liked to talk… a lot.

Wake-up call... bedtime... This wasn't an asylum it was Azkaban. School didn't even have so many rules.

_This is al you're doing….crazy………abomination……………_

Stupid. Fucking. Voice.

"No questions? Good. Here we are then, Doctor Bick is waiting. And Ill be seeing you very soon."

Adam said giving me a weird smile and a wink as he opened the door for me and walked away. I would have liked to muse on this, and bring myself into an utter state of unease around the head-nurse however musing time was cut as a voice floated through the now open doorway.

"I'm supposing you are Mr. Ronald Weasley then? Come in my boy, we mustn't lurk in doorways."

The voice was deep and rich, almost soothing in a way.

I instantly disliked it.

Walking slowly, cautiously through the open door I came upon an elderly man… in his late forties I presumed. He had a head full of grey and black hair, along with a pair of deep blue eyes that were halfway hidden under thick, black rimmed, glasses.

"Shut the door and take a seat. My name is Mr. Bick... though I'm quite sure you've already been informed of that."

He smiled at me, as I did what was asked shutting the door and sitting in the chair I was gestured into.

Mind you I sat as far back as possible. I hate people looking at me, and that's exactly what this man was doing... eyeing me as if he could see into my soul.

If I even have a soul.

Which I doubt.

_You don't have a soul…… you're a nothing… a thing... _

We've assessed that point, yes.

"So! Ron, I have the file here from St. Mungo's. Me and Doctor Shelly have gone over and assessed your symptoms. And I must say we're very concerned... which of course is why you're here."

Really? Well if this is what these people call _concern_ then I assure you Ill do fine without it.

He regarded me, taking in my state of utter unease and speechlessness. I wasn't going to talk, he should have already been informed by the bug woman that I indeed had nothing to say to them what-so-ever.

"Ron…. You have a series of mental illnesses. Not just one or two but a total of eight. Now, we've never seen so many before on a person so young. I would like to talk to you about your past, but perhaps today is not the time eh?"

Eight… That's impossible. I don't have any mental illnesses… Ok so maybe I have a voice that .. you know insults me and stuff but it's not an illness..

See? Denial is lovely, no?

_You're more messed up then we knew.. .. your going to be in here forever Ron… forever._

No I'm not… quiet.. please be quiet,

"No, Today I'm just going to give you a run down of what illnesses you have and prescribe the meds for you to start taking ok? Ok then. Let's start with number one, schizophrenia….."

"I do not have schizophrenia."

I snapped before I could stop myself. In truth I didn't even now what that was, but it was a long and ill sounding word. So basically that made it bad.

Yay, for judging before you know the facts.

"The voice in your head Ronald. It's what we call schizophrenia. You do have a voice in your head, and it insults you doesn't it? Makes you feel low and stupid… mocks you one might say."

I began fidgeting in my seat. He was right of course, but the fact that he seemed to know exactly what was going on with me when I myself didn't have a clue was desperately unnerving.

"We'll not tarry on that subject shall we?"

He said with another smile, and I vaguely wondered how people could seem happy when they were informing someone they were completely and totally insane.

"Next, is clinical depression. Your family and Doctor Shelly have informed me of you mood swings, and more then likely facing a mix of different emotions all at once. Sadness.. misery.. hate.. despair. It's not pleasant. Depression however is treatable and will most certainly be patched up in your stay here."

He's like a mind reader.

I hated him.

_Maybe you're just so pathetic that people can read you like a book?... maybe you're just sick enough for it to be visible.._

I'm going to snap at that thing very soon.

"Obsessive Compulsive Self-Mutilation, I'm sure you know of this one. It's your habit with cutting.. We'll need not to tarry on this one either as I'm sure you don't wish to speak about it. Anorexia Nervosa, and Bulimia Nervosa. You refuse to eat and then when you do you force yourself to throw it back up. This is very serious as you're very malnourished. Far to skinny for your age. You will be monitored closely for three hours after every meal, this is just to insure you don't purge yourself of what nutrients you take in."

This was hell…. Bill isn't Satan after all. Nope, Bick is Satan and this is hell.

_You deserved to be here… locked away.. forever…._

Three hours.. that's ridiculous. Does food even take that long to digest? My stomach twisted at the thought of food and I quickly abandoned that imagery.

"Panic Disorder, Your eldest brother I believe.. Bill his name is, told me of the morning he took your knives and how you reacted. He said you didn't seem to be getting enough air into you. This is serious as this disorder will start off low and then grow into something that may or may not be fixable. You also have an avoidant personality disorder. You're pushing yourself away from those you love. Your friends, you family. Separating yourself, perhaps thinking you're not good enough."

_Because you aren't good enough…. You never will be.._

"And last but not least Psychosis.. it's a sort of detachment from reality… Ron. Are you alright."

I had been sitting still for a very long while now, staring at the floor and basically willing myself not to break down. This was insane… these people.. everything..

Why couldn't I just die? It would have been far better then having to deal with being informed of exactly how fucked up I was.

I was quite fine not knowing.

"Perhaps we should end for today. I want to help you Ron, Ill get you through this. You will see me three times a week, and I've prescribed the pills needed for you to take. Why don't you get some rest huh? It's been a long day , I know."

Long doesn't even began to describe it. More like excruciatingly informative. Providing knowledge I could have lived without knowing.

Getting up I hurried out the door without being excused, I just wanted as much space between this office and me as possible. A male nurse, different from Adam was waiting for me outside. He said nothing, just walked very close beside me, leading me back to my lovely little cell in prison.

Joyous Day.

However, it seemed my roommate had finally decided to make an appearance. When I walked back into the small off-whit room my bed was no longer a linen-less mattress but had been made for me, just as well my bag layed nicely at the foot. And there on the other bed sat a boy. I was surprised really because he was the first male I had seen that looked just a feminine as me.

At least I'm not the only guy with curves! Under normal circumstances I would have felt good about this.

Me and normal are no longer on familiar terms.

He had black hair, same length as mine down to his shoulders. Electric blue eyes and pale skin. He was skinny as well.. not exactly as skinny as my skeletal self, but pretty close.

"This is Ron, he's the new kid. Make sure he goes down to dinner with you alright?"

"Alright!"

The boy chirped almost happily, as the nurse who had lead me there walked away without another sound.

He jumped off his bed and made his way over to me, outstretching his hand in the process and grabbing mine before I had a chance to react.

"Hey! I'm Envy.. Well.. my real name is Lance but no one goes by their real names here."

"Hey."

I replied back, finding myself preferring that he would suddenly evaporate.. maybe I do have an avoidant personality disorder?

No, no I don't. Feel the denial..

"What are you in for? I'm here for anorexia, obsessive compulsive self-mutilation, schizophrenia and PTSD… Post-traumatic Stress Disorder."

Obviously he didn't care much what people thought of him. And for some reason, my dislike of him was ebbing away. He had three of my symptoms. Besides he was nice, and I think it just made me feel better knowing I wasn't the only fucked up person on the planet.

_But you're the most fucked up person on the planet… abomination…. _

"I'm here for schizophrenia, obsessive compulsive self-mutilation, clinical depression, anorexia, bulimia, panic disorder, avoidant personality disorder, and.. psychosis."

I said, remarkably able to run off every single horrific _illness_ I had been informed I possessed.

Least I know the names of my crazy-ness! This will help me in absolutely no way.

"Damn, you really got yourself in a hole huh? No matter, were all messed up here. They were talking about you in the hall way.. Takken and her lackeys. Your fourteen, so am I. That's kinda cool, I've never had a roommate before. We should get you unpacked."

Envy was obviously not bashful at all. He was rather bubbly, and I found myself wondering exactly what kind of drugs they gave people in this place.

But ah well, it didn't matter much to me because for once someone wasn't asking questions.. or looking at me like I was some sort of creature from the swamps. He was just excepting it and talking to me like a real person.. not as some sort of wounded kitten.

"Yeah."

I replied grabbing my bag and opening it, as we basically destroyed all the neatly packed stuff my mum had put there throwing it in the dresser and desk.  
For the first time in awhile, I wasn't feeling like at that much of a freak.. or outcast.

_But you are a freak… and you always will be.._

I hate it when the voice is right.

-------------------

So what do you guys think?  
Like I said, nothing to special just a run-out of the place and such.  
And give a BIG welcome to Envy. He's going to become a major part of this story as well as a few others Ron meets in his lovely adventure at Needleburg.

Hope you guys liked it, reviews are loved much!  
-Elixier


	8. Chapter 8

Broken Beyond Compare

Sorry this is late loves. I've been having a bad time lately.  
EVIL FAMILY MEMBERS!  
Plus my creative muse has left me, thus writing has become a chore rather then a pastime. Hopefully the muse will return soon!  
Hope!

Love you all, and I promise ill try to update on time from now on.

-------------------

Chapter 8

-------------------

A shrill bell rang out through the off-whit halls of the asylum, causing me to nearly jump out of my skin with its unexpected, and might I add, ridiculous volume.

This place got weirder by the second didn't it?

I looked over at my new found... companion of sorts one could say, for an explanation as to the horridly loud sound.

Envy smiled at me, seemingly unfazed by the bell. Infact it seemed as if he expected it.

"The dinner bell, sorry I didn't warn you. You'll get used to it in time."

He explained standing up from his former spot beside me on my now, completely made, bed. Grabbing my hand in the process and practically dragging me off down the horribly bare and vastly long hallways.

In the past hour I had spent with the black haired teen I had actually grown to not hate him. Which in my case was a sever improvement as at this point I was beginning to hate everyone.

Aren't you proud?

But Envy treated me like a human, so I could forget how fucked up I really was for a time and feel normal.

Well, as normal as one can get when there locked up in a mental institution.

The cafeteria itself wasn't all too far away from the hall the held the rooms. Food sickened me, but with all the nurses standing about I made no move to demand not eating.

It would probably end me up in those padded cells that I know they have somewhere around here.

Most, if not all of these guards and/or nurses were as big as bodybuilders. Personally I didn't want to get on their bad sides. So within no time I was seated at a table. Tray of food infront of me, and much to my demise Adam lurking just a table away.

I could feel his eyes on me and it made me cringe.

What was with him anyways? Didn't he have other patients to unnerve?

"Are you afraid of getting big?"

Envy's voice brought me out of my vivid attempt of ignoring the head nurses eyes upon me and back into the not-so-pleasant reality.

"What?"

I asked, as I wasn't really paying attention in the first place and even if I was I doubt I would have cared or understood much.

"Your eating disorders? Are they because you're afraid of getting big, or does food just disgust you?"

I twitched mumbling nearly incoherently that food disgusted me beyond words. Envy just smiled.

"Good then, same with me. I don't give a shit how I look really so who cares if I get fat?"

He stated before starting to take food off the trays before us and put them on a separate plate.

I was likening him more and more as time went on.

It was actually just a normal looking... weird dinner of sorts. It contained chicken, fried with obvious hints of some sort of seasoning. Corn, peas, some weird bread that looked vaguely like something that was at least three hundred days old. A small container of ice cream and milk.

Simple, yet it disgusted me to pieces.

"What….?"

I began to ask but before the question had truly made it out I was gigging an answer.

"Were beating the system."

Catching my still clueless look he added an explanation with a laugh.

"Alright, so each week were counted by how many ounces we've managed to gain, not by how much food we've eaten. Me and you aren't afraid of getting fat we just don't like food. Thus we don't care what we eat just so long as we don't have much of it. People who are anorexic because there afraid of getting fat care very much what they eat. SO there not going to touch things like fried chicken, ice cream, and milk."

He smiled again and I found myself smiling to. I understood now, watching as both vegetables and the bread was removed from my plate and put onto the other one same as Envy's.

We were switching our food with someone who was afraid of getting fat. They could eat the veggies and bread without much worry yet still gain the ounces needed not to be put in this place, my black haired companion called, solitary. And we in turn could eat the sugary stuff and less of it as not to get to disgusted yet gain the ounces we need.

I found myself vaguely wondering why someone who could come up with such a system was here in the first place,

That idea was nothing short of brilliant in my mind.

Envy smiled at me again, never failing to amaze me at how many freaking smiles he could manage in such a short time, and gestured over to another table.

Within seconds two males had appeared. Twins no doubt by their mirror-like reflections. Both of whom were vastly skinny. Not as skinny as I was, but skinny none-the-less.

"This is Skin and Bones. Guys this is Ron, he's knew so he doesn't have a name yet."

Envy stated pointing first to the left one dubbed as Skin and then the right dubbed Bones. Both of whom only graced me with a mere glance and nod.

I almost broke a grin. Skin and Bones, lovely names.

_Your going to be skin and bones... a rotting corpse in a spider ridden grave..._

"No, shut up."

I snapped at it, wishing beyond any thing that it would suddenly just die. The twins glances me a weird look as though I was talking to them.

"He has a voice same as me."

Envy explained, pushing over the plate of vegetables and the weird bread as they presented us with their ice cream, chicken, and milk giving the food items a disgusted look.

"The new kids skinner then we are."

Skin observed looking me up and down with what I daresay was jealousy. I felt myself go instantly tense with the stare and settled to look pointedly at my plate

"That's because he has two eating disorders. You each have one, now scat before Adam spots us."

My companion said, wrapping an arm around my own in what was clearly a friendly way. He was acting as if we knew each other forever when in reality we only knew each other about two hours.

And I found myself not minding this. If Bill had tried to put his arm around me I would have screamed bloody murder.

The Jerk.

And for that matter if the twins tried it I would simply kill myself. The robot lords... especially Fred… ass.

"Don't mind them, they dislike anyone who's collarbone shows more then theirs."

I nodded looking around, watching as everyone took their seats. It was weird how they all seemed to know exactly where to sit, and there was always a seat for them there as well.

"Do we have like… assigned seats?"

I asked, a pointless question, but it was far better then staring at the two pieces of fried chicken before me and vaguely wondering if there was a way to avoid eating either of them.

"No, we have groups though. That how we all now know where to sit."

Envy answered, catching another one of my probably hilariously blank looks he giggled and jumped right into another full explanation of the wonders f asylum life.

"Ok well, over there is where all the kids with anorexia sit, there afraid to get fat they all can be gloriously bony together. Over there is where all the hallucination kids sit. They see weird stuff, trust me and over there…"

I promptly tuned him out to look around at the tables myself. He was right of course, it seemed that the people who sat together all had a common _illness_.

Why do they call it an illness anyways? Personally I just call it being fucked up. Its more simple that way.

_They call it an illness because your sick.. so sick and wrong.. you pathetic excuse for a living creature… pathetic…_

"Shut up."

I snapped profusely, hating the fact that the voice existed, now more then ever.

"Not you… What group are we.. I in then?"

I added apologetically when Envy stopped dead in his explanation.

Bothersome the voice, indeed.

"We are the outcasts. The ones with more then one illness as they call it. With you here it brings our total member count up to four. And here the others come."

Two boys were approaching us, one was tall and built, not unlike Charlie, with chin length brown hair, bright blue eyes and a frown. People seemed to be making room for him to walk as if afraid to get in his way.

Weird.

The other was a male of around the same age as the brunette. He had a light brown colored skin, a head full of curly reddish brown hair that went down to just above his shoulder, he was built not with as many muscles as the other but a good amount, and had a pair of honey colored eyes.

They both set their trays down, the brunette slamming his rather then setting it and looking at me as if I were a bug.

_He hates you… he can tell your fucked up….._

"This is Rage and Cinnamon, Cin for short. Guys this is Ron, he's new."

Envy said stating the fact of my obvious new-ness for the fiftieth time.

I found I didn't want to know why it was that Rage was called Rage, he didn't pay me attention in the slightest and I had the sneaking suspicion that he couldn't care weather or not I was there or dead.

Lovely male.

Cinnamon, or rather Cin on the other hand smiled at me, winking one of his honey colored eyes in a nice way. Not the creepy psycho way that Adam did it.

"Nice to meet you Ron, welcome to hell."

"That's not a nice thing to say Cin."

Envy snapped at him, taking a bite of his ice cream and sending a weak yet playful glare at the older male.

"Just stating the truth Env, cant lie to him now can I."

Cin stated back in defense sending me another wink and I found myself liking him lots.

I liked Envy to of course, Rage sorta freaked me out but that's alright.

"Who cares, new boy will find out soon enough exactly what this place is like."

The oh-so-godly Rage had spoken! I was dearly tempted to snap that my name was not _new boy _but I thankfully held my tongue.

_He hates you….. like everyone should.._

Stupid voice…

"Shut up Rage, your such an ass. Don't mind my cousin he has a conduct disorder, or more simple put he's a jerk."

Envy stated, him alone seemingly to have the wonderful power to tell Rage to basically go to hell in nicer terms.

Rage himself just shrugged and carried on eating and pretending I didn't exist.

Which mind you I was fine with.

"Everybody eating?"

Adam stated coming to stand directly behind me, nearly touching my back.

Was it just me or did everyone at the table suddenly go tense, and I was sure Cin had sent the male a death glare.

"Were fine Adam."

Rage stated pointedly as if trying to put as much malice into every word as mortally possible.

"Good then, make sure Ron here gets back to his room after dinner we don't want anyone going astray."

The head nurse said very close to my ear before walking away to another table.

No doubt to terrorize more patients.

Dinner carried on pretty much uneventfully after that.

I forced down one carton of ice cream, both small cartons of milk and three bites of chicken. I didn't really wish to even look at the chicken but Envy and Cin insisted that I do for the fact that I would surely be out in solitary if I didn't at least take a bite.

Joy,

"We have showers now."

Envy stated getting up from the table, arm latched onto mine in a way I've seen many of my aunts latch to my mom while doing what they called 'girl talk'. And quite frankly I was a bit freaked out by contact still but I let it be.

It didn't however manage to stop my horror filled look the moment Envy had mentioned the words shower.

There all going to see your disgustingly skeletal self…….. you sick child.. ugly bony corpse….

"Stop it."

I nearly pleaded with it. Stupid thing voicing opinion I didn't need to hear. Honestly I was already in a fucking crazy house did I really need to be in solitary as well..

"I hate the voices. They never go away,. No matter what pills they put us on."

Envy said

"Don't worry Ron, usually new kids can get out of their first shower. Just go back to the room ad lay down. Ill tell them your feeling homesick."

I could have hugged him.

"Thanks Envy."

I breathed giving him a rare smile of mine and disappearing down the hall to curl up onto my bed. I really hoped a nurse wouldn't come after me and force me into taking a shower... I don't really think I could bare with such a thing right now.

And for once the gods were on my side as no one showed up in my lovely little cell as I took to calling it until Envy came in with wet hair and a smile.

"It worked, they believed me. But you can't get out of it tomorrow. Meds should be coming soon and then they force us to bed. Asylum life consists of routine. And it sucks."

The black haired teen explained bounding onto my bed and sitting right next to me. It wasn't long however until our room was joined by Cin and Rage.

"How do you like your first day then? Not to horrible yet. It gets worse."

Cin stated with a bored smile running a hand through my hair as Rage pointedly ignored me.

"No... not so horrible yet."

I agreed, staring absently at a wall and ignoring all the comments the voice was throwing at me.

"Meds."

A female nurse with a fake smile popped into the room handing out small little containers and cups of water.

She went to rage first, and it seemed he only had to take three pills. Two little green ones and a white one. Cin was next, he got three pills as well one red, one white, and one yellow. Then Envy came, he had six pills. Two blue ones, one white one, one white and red one, and two pink ones.

And then came mine. I had eight pills. Oh the joys… and some of them were rather big. I grimaced mentally, first they force food on me, now they force pills?

My little container consisted of two orange pills, two white ones, two blue ones that were the same as envy, one red one and one green one. I would have loved to know exactly what they were but I thought it best not to ask.

And so I begun the difficult task of swallowing them all, taking each one at a time and practically choking some up.

Not a good time to know you have sensitive gag-reflexes.

Envy wrapped an arm around my shoulder, while Cin shot me a sympathetic look.

Rage on the other hand continued to ignore me.

_This is where you belong… in the white rooms with the windowed doors….. weakling…_

And he was right.

-------------------

Welcome Cin and Rage to the asylum family!  
WHOOT!

Ok, I know this took forever and that it's short (usually my chaps are 11 pages, this one came out to 8) but this was another of those random chapters that I didn't plan out.  
Sorry!

More to happen in the next update, and Cin and Rage are vastly important to the fic. Love them!

-Elixier


	9. Chapter 9

Broken Beyond Compare

Late as hell, I know.  
We had exams and my time was really really short!  
I tried to get it don't quick! I really did.

Well here it is anyways! Hope you all enjoy!

-------------------

Chapter 9

-------------------

Over the next three days I had gotten almost completely used to the life of an insane person.

Let's take a moment to underline the word _almost_

Envy had been right when he stated that asylum living consisted of routine.

I woke up with a creepy feeling every morning as Adam was the one who did wake up calls, he also lurked about the halls and I had the creepiest feeling he was watching people get dressed from the little windows on the white doors.

Bad thought indeed, that one.

After wake up call we took morning showers, this was a horrible experience that consisted of me and Envy standing vastly close together and trying to block out the fact that there were a ton of naked people around us, and Adam there to watch everything happen.

That man was everywhere I tell you, and not in a good way.

I did note however that I didn't seem to be the only one to tense up around him. Envy didn't like him either, Cin did nothing but scowl at the man and Rage seemed always an inch away from beating him to a pulp.

Aside from that we ate breakfast, did the schedules activities, and sat in our room.

And when I say we I mean me, Envy, Rage, and Cin. It was like the four of us together at all times. And quite frankly I didn't mind it.

In the past seventy-two hours Envy had become my best friend. We knew more about each other then our families did, and it was like id known him my entire life. This worked wonders as for once I didn't completely feel like an outcast.

Although the voice was surely there to beat me down every time that horrible intruder called happiness threatened to poke about.

Cin had become very close to me as well, not as close as me and Envy but closer then all of my brothers combined. Rage still ignored me but I don't think he hated me anymore.

So yes, used to this life I was. Not that it was an easy trip mind you. I got a few surprises along the way.

My first surprise was when I found out the Rage and Envy were lovers.

Cousins and Lovers.

That freaked me out a bit and I had to spend a total of three hours with Cin there to counsel me to get over the mental shock of it. But when that was over they just seemed to fit together.

Envy was happy, and nice. Rage was evil and cold. They matched. Yay for opposites.

Which brings me right up close and personal with my current whereabouts.

"Ronald, tell me, do you resent your brothers in some way?"

I nearly giggled as the one Doctor Bick started drilling me about my brothers. God why did everyone talk about them? Can't we just pretend that I don't have any?

_But you do have some…. And they hate you…._

Which is exactly why the word pretend is there. Oh my, do we need to underline that one to?

"Do you?"

The doctors musing voice broke into my thoughts again.

"No."

I stated bluntly staring at the clock, it was nearly time to go. I was meeting up with Envy and them after this torture session and I just wanted to get there as soon as possible.

"You never talk about them."

The doctor replied unfazed by my less then friendly comment.

"Well there isn't anything to say. Why would I want to talk about Fred anyways?"

I stated right back in the same tone.

"SO do you have something against Fred?"

"What..?"

I asked not really following as to where he got the robot lords name from.

"You said Fred. I never mentioned a certain brother, I just implied them all."

He said fixing me with a look, I was saved from the horror on answering however by w clock that chimed telling everyone that it was now indeed noon.

I flew out of the office faster then one could blink.

The last thing I needed at this lovely moment was to be reminded of my brothers.

Pacifically that brother.

God I hated him.

And for some reason it seemed people kept bringing him up. Why?

How did they even know he existed?

A crash down the hall caught my attention, dragging my out of my oh so brilliant brooding on how much I truly hated the twins.

It was a male, a few years older then me by the looks of him. He was horribly scarred though. His entire arms as well as a good portion of his face were covered in these reddish scars. Like he had burned himself. And though his shirt and pants casted them out of view I was sure his chest and legs were marred as well.

He seemed to have dropped a vastly large pile of books, no doubt from the library, and was scurrying about to pick them up. I took pity on him, which is weird considering that he himself looked a hell of a lot more put together then me.

He was carrying at least ten books, at this point if I carried more then two I would fall over dead.

_Because you're weak…. Pathetic and weak… that's all you are… .all you'll ever be.._

You know what. That medicine they give me for the voice just doesn't work.

Perhaps they should try a different one, no?

I walked over and helped him pick up the rest of his many books, I would have looked at the titles but I found that now-a-days I should keep a one track mind as thinking of too may things at once often put my already poor, sad, mind into overdrive.

And we didn't need that now did we?

"Thanks!"

The male said, before I even had a chance to come back to earth form my horrid thoughts of why it is I think to much.

That didn't make sense even in my own mind.

"I'm Flare. You're the new kid right! Welcome to Needleburg. I'm sure you'll hate it here."

He said with a smile before he skipped off with his many books in tow. Weird really how everyone here seemed to now exactly who the fuck I was.

I went from being an invisible wall fixture on my parents wall to the 'new kid' that everyone knows.

And I hated it.

Being invisible was easier. Much more easy to get away with things.

Which is how I cut my arms for so long before anyone noticed. I literally had to stop eating before anyone even cared to look twice at me.

As if the even cared.

_Which they don't…_

"I know that."

I snapped ruefully turning the corner with every intention of going to find Envy, all thoughts were almost immediately cut off through when I heard my name somewhere very close behind me.

"Ron. What are you doing in this wing?"

I froze instantly at the sound of the head nurse so close, very much invading my space and turned myself around so quick it wasn't funny.

It was even less funny when I backed against the wall.

Why do I constantly do stupid things?

_Because you're stupid.. and weak…… you're not worth air….._

Wow that thing has a way of taking a bad situation and plunging it right down to horrid.

"I was.. um.. I was .. appointment.. Bick."

Which was truthfully all I managed to choke out in a more then pathetic mumble. The cold feelings he always gave me hadn't stopped They had just gotten worse over time.

Not to mention he was deathly close… too close.. much much to close.. his body was nearly pressed against mine already.

"Is that so? Hmm, It normally doesn't take one so long to get back after an appointment. Are you sure you weren't waiting for someone?"

Adam practically purred in a sickeningly evil way, his lips almost touching mine.

I was going to scream, but my throat seemed to have been blocked by something.

Instantly I had this mental picture of the voice sitting in my throat to prevent me from saving myself just to cause me pain.

And to think a few days ago I was wondering why I was put in this place.

You'd think with mental images like that it would have been obvious, no?

I couldn't reply, and he was just moving steadily closer, and I swear instantly every horror story scene I had ever read came rushing back to mind.

"There you are Ron. I've been looking for you. Don't worry Adam, Ill take him back to our wing."

Cin to the rescue! I swear I'm likening that boy more everyday.

A most horrible expression graced the head nurses face, something remotely between hatred and disappointment. He did take the time however to fix the dark skinned patient with a glare.

Cin however stood his ground, and I had to marvel at that because if Adam had shot me a glare like that I would have fallen over with fear.

God I'm so pathetic….

_Yes you are.._

No one asked you.

Needless to say though it worked. And Adam went off to strike terror into someone else's heart no doubt.

"Thanks for that Cin."

I said firmly attaching myself to the older boy's side, as we made our way through the seemingly endless off-white corridors.

You'd think they could afford some other paint besides white? Or at least charm the walls to show in some other color…

"No problem Ronnie."

Cin replied with his warm smile, opening the windowed door that lead to my wings lounge room .. thing.

"Found him."

The black haired teen stated obviously to Envy and Rage, to whom were obviously waiting for me. Well.. Envy was waiting for me.

I don't think Rage would care if I was found or not. Hell he still called me 'new kid' and he should at least know my name by now.

"Adam had him pinned in the hallway."

Cin informed the other, and they all shared a dark look like they knew something I didn't. It was unnerving but I decided not to persist it.

Because technically, there were lovely things about asylum life that I really didn't want to know.

_You don't know anything, stupid, pathetic….._

Ignoring things is the key to happiness.

Or at least a state somewhat close to happiness.

Within a few minutes I was back by Envy's side, holding hands with him.

Don't ask me why we hold each others hand all the time, we just do.

"This place is kinda dull, we don't have classes today anyways lets go do something."

Rage stated with obvious boredom getting up from our small table and walking toward the door to the room hall, (where all the bedrooms are) as I like to call it.

Cin followed right away, then Envy to whom was dragging me behind him we ended up in Rage's room. His roommate as it turns out was Cin so there was no danger of a pesky insane person busting in.

Unless you count the nurses who constantly busted in to do checks, as insane, in which case I would have to agree because, come on.

Look at Adam.

Insane if there ever was such a thing.

"This place is fucking boring, you'd think they'd at least give us books that weren't twenty years outdated to keep ourselves entertained. If I learned by that one text book Id still think we'd only had five planets in the solar system."

Cin said with a smile, plopping down next to me on his bed.

I laughed at that, having one of the first real laughs in awhile. I was already in love with Cin and Envy, and no matter how sad it seemed, I felt I could trust them far more then any of my brothers.

"True. You know we still need to get Ron a name!"

Envy piped shooting me a wink and a smile, while nuzzling into his cousins side. They were cute together Rage and Envy.

Even though it was technically incest…

'What's up with the nicknames by the way? Why does everyone have one?"

It was a question that had been bugging me for some time. Skin, Bones, Cinnamon, Rage, Envy, and now some guy named Flare among others.

Just seemed a bit weird.

"You expect us to keep the names our stupid parents gave us? After they put us in here? Fuck them."  
Rage stated shooting me one of those 'why are you so stupid' looks.

I suppose that made sense. Of course I didn't have the luxury of blaming my parents because they didn't want me here.

The bug lady wanted me here.

So ill blame her.

"In a particularly assholeish mood aren't we Rage?"

Cin stated with a sort of half frown.

"But your right Ronnie boy needs a name."

Rage shook his head and pulled out a pack of cigarettes, lighting one and taking one hell of a drag off it before handing over to Envy, who did the same before handing it to Cin.

When Cin finished his own breath of nicotine infected smoke he handed it over to me.

And I just looked stupidly at it.

"New boys shouldn't get such bad habits."

Rage sneered taking it form me as if he knew all along I wouldn't do it.

Well screw him.

I snatched it back and took my own drag off it.

God I was in heaven to. The way the smoke practically burned its way down my throat and how my nerves seemed to have shut up.

Just a little bit.

Still it made a difference.

"I think I can handle one more bad habit."

I said with a smile, taking another hit on the cigarette before handing it over to Rage.

He smiled at me.

Rage smiled, my god the sky is going to fall…

"A name huh? Any idea's for it?"

He asked Cin and Envy, passing around the cigarette again.

Now I knew why muggles were addicted to those things. Like a legal drug.

"He helped Flare pick up his books a bit earlier. No one else would have stopped. That was sweet."

Cin stated with a look of thought, then smiled throwing an arm around me and kissing me on the cheek.

Which made me blush.

"You know how some people will call you a doll for being nice? Your such a doll, or what a doll. I think that's perfect. Doll."

He stated as if that ended the story, honey colored eyes twinkling in one of the same ways I'd seen Dumbledore do.

"Love it."

Envy piped flinging himself next to me in one hell of a tight hug.

"Our little Doll."

"That works."

Rage said then, leaning over and kissing me on the forehead.

He kissed me on the forehead and Cin kissed me on the cheek. What was it kissing day?

Not that I'm complaining mind you.

"Doll."

I stated myself, taking one last hit of the lovely smoky stick with a smile, musing over how right it seemed coming out of my mouth.

Because it was right, the word Doll was.

Because that was my name.

"Doll."

-----------------------------

Love you all!  
Now Ronnie has his name!  
Hope you liked it my dears!

-Elixier


	10. Chapter 10

Broken Beyond Compare

**:Warnings: **Self Mutilation : Attempted Suicide : Sexual Content : Rape : Molestation : Incest : Chan-cest : Yaoi : Swearing : Drug Use :

Yes, I DID need to put the warnings back up. Every few chappies Ill put them in.  
Why?  
Because I would like to save myself the long horror filled reviews stating _"THAT WAS HORRIBLE WHY DIND'T YOU TELL US OR WARN US OR SOMETHING! T-T THIS IS VERY VERY BAD! IM TELLING"_

Yes, I'm not fond of those reviews so I put up the warnings… yet again.  
Especially in this chapter loves. READ THE WARNING. This chapter is bad… very freakin bad.

Anyways! Moving on. Now I know I said Id have this up next week, but due to my latest reviews for my drabbles (and the fact that I got yelled at in reviews for not updating soon enough.. T-T ''tear'') I've worked my ass off the least three hours to bring it to you seven days early!

This chapter is going to answer one of the big questions you all have been asking.  
Who is going to rape Ron?  
Read and find out !

So here it is! Enjoy it.. … OR ELSE…..!

-------------------

Chapter 10

-------------------

The next two days slipped by without me even knowing they were there. Horrible really the way I lack the ability to pay attention to such things as time.

Who needed time anyways. We should revolt against clocks, there only use is to count down the seconds till you die.

And in an Asylum, were not allowed to think of dying. So clocks are useless.

Waste of money and life.

_You're a waste of life Doll… a sick ugly broken doll…._

The voice had gotten a hold of my nickname by the way. Incase you didn't notice.

He just loves it to pieces, makes mocking me so much easier.

Anyways back on subject.

They handed us out journals today. Big brown, thick, leather, parchment, journals. Obviously for some sort of 'realization therapy'. As if we would really write our secrets in a book that could easily be picked up, read and used against us by any random psychopath.

Like Adam, for instance.

They handed out pens as well. Now I've heard of pens from Dad because of his work with muggle toys and trinkets, but I'd never actually used one.

They wouldn't give us quills because they stated we could _harm_ ourselves with them.

Oh yeah, brilliant idea that one. Can you see the headlines? Death by Quill, the asylums newest danger!

Priceless.

These little things were kind of cool though, these.. pens if you will. We discovered we could right all over our bodies with them and the ink wouldn't stain as much as quill ink would.

Now, our journals lay in a heap on my bed and were all lovingly cuddled on Envy's writing things on each other.

Don't look at me like that. This is an asylum… there isn't anything else to do.

I myself was drawing a heart on Cin's upper arm, and putting all our names in it for some reason. I noticed the dark skinned guy had a lot of muscle.

Nearly as much as Fred… and I liked that.

_You sick… abomination….are you falling for a guy.. aren't you? you cracked ugly hideous doll…_

Oh please. I'm not falling for Cin. Stupid voice.. filling my head with other images that it didn't really need.

My poor brain was going to quit its job soon.

Anyways back to the drawing. I was drawing on Cin, Envy was drawing one me, Rage was drawing on Envy, and Cin was watching me draw refusing to take part in such 'immature' actions.

As if he was mature.

"Doll, I like this, you should get it tattooed on you"

Envy stated looking at the symbol he had drawn on the underside of my left wrist.

It was a rose, held within a cool looking heart with all our names in it.

"I might. It's nice."

I stated in truth, seriously thinking about it. It was nice after all, and besides tattoos were a way to have needles inserted into my skin.

And I would kill for a needle right now.

Hell, Id kill for a piece of glass or a freakin butter knife. I'm going through a pointy object withdrawal.

"Yeah it's alright, but it needs something."

Cin stated seriously, taking my pen and my wrist, scribbling something on it.

"I thought you said this was immature.."

I mumbled trying to take my wrist back to see what he'd done, but alas like nearly everyone else in the world. He was far stronger then me.

Pathetic isn't it?

"It is, but I didn't say that I was mature now did I baby doll?"

He had taken to calling me that, baby doll I mean. It could be because I was the baby of the group… or it could just be that he liked to see me blush.

Which I did.

Every time he said it.

Bad habit that.

He smirked and released my arm. He hadn't done much really, just wrote some words around the heart in a loopy cursive writing, stating 'Cin loves his baby doll."

I blushed like hell and smiled.

"Aww, I love you to. I love all of you,"

It was truth, I loved them more then I loved my family.

Oh man that reminded me. Visiting day was tomorrow.

_Your family will see what a sick thing you've become so far.. die.. die.._

You know for the eight gigantic pills they make me force down everyday, you'd think that thing would've shut up by now.

I cringed as I heard the dinner bell go off, that sickening siren that never ceased to make my ears ring horribly like someone had just banged a dong next to my head.

My ear drums were going to explode one day. In a way that could be a good thing because then Id be saved the horrors of listening to Bick drone on for ever three times a week.

I've come to the oh so joyous conclusion that psychiatrists were a waste of life.

There only job was to try to fix you, when you weren't even broken in the first place, and all they end up doing is fucking you up more.

Idiots.

"You know, if they expect us to gain weight, they should actually feed us something that vaguely resembles food."

I stated in disgust after I had forced down all I could of the goopy mess that sat dejectedly against the tray, like gray slime against an ugly yellow rock.

It was some sort of brown mush, with milk and a really stale cookie. I'm guessing it was suppose to be an oatmeal cookie. However I don't care how much they insist they put oats in that thing it was as far from oatmeal as one could possibly get.

Most unpleasant.

Envy had eaten just as much of the goop as I had and looked just as horrified.

"I agree, I don't even know what this stuff is."

"Slop most like. Pigs get better food then this."

Cin finished pushing all our trays to the side, and getting up.

"I'm bored as hell, let's go back to Envykins and Baby Dolls room."

He stated to Rage, whom had finished his take in of the slop as well, grabbing me and Envy promptly dragging us out before someone had a chance to stop us.

We'd have to take pills and go to sleep in less then an hour anyways.

So we interested ourselves in the glorified activity that is smoking. I swear to god if I didn't get a cigarette at least once a day I would have broken sanity four days ago.

Yes I'm addicted to them. But I'm also addicted to cutting my arms like deli meat so you know what, I don't think my body is going to suffer too much from the fact I'm inhaling rat poison into my lungs rather then digging metals into my skin.

After all every lovely cigarette you smoke takes eleven minutes off your life, I'm hoping that if I force enough of the nicotine down Ill be able to die by the time I'm twenty.

Because I don't think their going to let me back into 'society' anytime soon.

Joy.

"Pills."

That sickening over make-upped nurse stated pushing her ugly little cart into the room and handing out the death pills.

And I had eight… eight pills that a horse couldn't even choke down because of their size.

The people who ran this asylum were jerks.

Like Bill, only worse and unavoidable.

But alas, unavoidable it was and I chocked down every fucking one of them. It took me nearly thirty minutes to accomplish such a task, and I felt like throwing up through the entire thing. Not to mention the water they gave me to take them with tasted like toxic waste.

Everything here came right from a trash-bin I swear to god. A really gooey, old, extra disgusting, overflowing, leaking trash-bin.

"We'll see you guys tomorrow morning then. Remember we have visiting day tomorrow. In all its horror."

Rage stated, tucking the cigarettes back into his pocket before giving Envy a kiss on the lips and kissing me on the forehead.

"Yeah, up with the jackasses who brought us into this hell we call life. Night Envy."

Cin said with a smile kissing Envy on the forehead.

You know, I'm beginning to think people around here have a kissing fetish. I mean that's all you see everyone doing kissing and touching… and probably a lot more in the privacy in their rooms but I care not to spy on people.

Lots of kissing. But I wasn't about to start complaining about it.

"Night Baby Doll."

Cin said again, kissing me on the cheek before walking out and off to his and Rage's room.

"Night."

Me and Envy both called back, burying ourselves beneath the scratchy covers. I don't really now where they get their blankets, but they feel like their full of pickers. And I don't care how much Envy states that you get used to it over time I highly doubt I'm ever going to get used to these horrid things.

"Lights out"

Was the ever on time call of the nurse as our openly warning before the asylum went dark. I swear I hate living a routine. Because they were right when they said life here was a routine. One big fucking annoying schedule that were constantly forced to follow.

Jail is better then this. Probably cleaner and more safe to.

But still I fell asleep almost instantly. Not because the mattress was any good or anything but because I took eight pills. All of which had to have some sort of sleep medication in it because you cant take those things and stay awake.

If only they'd kill my insomnia enough to last me through the night.

I awoke around four a.m, figures. At least I got more sleep here then I did at home, but I still have and probably always will have a serious sleep disorder.

They'd probably give me a pill for that to, which is exactly why I didn't tell them. I already had eight, I didn't need a ninth horse pill to clog up my throat.

Normally Id just stay in bed until I sunk into a kind of half sleep, but tonight I was deathly thirsty. Why? Don't know.

_Because you take so many pills…… you smoke… and you're just a sick abomination.._

No hopes of the voice sleeping I suppose. I seriously wonder if he corrupted my mind at night, causing all of my nightmares. I wouldn't doubt it, he'd probably love to pull at the strands of my sanity, giggling madly every time on gives up and snaps.'

What the hell am I thinking? It's a fucking voice…. No wonder I'm in this asylum.

So, against all my better judgment and self scolding that walking about the hospital halls at night, I got up and went in search of the nasty toxic-filled water fountain. Disgusting yes, but I was thirsty so I didn't much care on that matter.

I can puke it up tomorrow anyways.

Unfortunately for me however, the nearest water fountain was three halls down, right in the whole cafeteria/bathroom/library domain, which was completely deserted at this time of night.

And if you haven't caught those horror stories about asylums at night let me be the first to inform you that being in a deserted all is freaky.

Very much so, at that. But At least I made it to the water fountain and started heading back in one, insane broken, piece…. that didn't make much sense…..

Lucky, and odd if I may add, that I didn't run into any nurses along the way as I wasn't fully sure that I was allowed to be out in the halls this late…. Nor was I sure of my safety if I ran into one of the freaky ones.

Perhaps Good luck was still floating about me.

"What are you doing up this late Ron.. or, excuse me, Doll."

I can see the good luck scurrying away into the semi-moonlight dancing some unknown step with my courage as they both left me deserted to face the horror of the owner of the voice alone. Smirking all the way like nothing gave them greater joy then seeing the blood leave my face.

Why him? Of all the fucking people who could have come my way.. it had to be him. The head psychopathic nurse of Needleburg.

"Adam… I was just… I was just getting water.. but I'm going back to bed now.. so.. yeah.."

I mumbled pathetically, trying in vain to sneak my way down the hall… or evaporate on the spot. Both of which at the time fitted the situation. Though sneaking down the hall seemed a bit far-out, I really stood a better chance of bursting into a ball of fire right here and shriveling to a pile of ashes.

"Its pretty late Doll. Your not allowed out at this time. So what am I suppose to do for your punishment?"

Adam asked an unnerving smirk upon his face that made all blood leave my body as if it too were running to catch up to my courage and luck in their escape. He was moving closer to me now, much closer.

Now, If I had a brain (that was functioning properly mind you), I would have ran straight back to my room and hid in Envy's bed. But I guess I don't have a brain, or it just wasn't working because I was practically frozen to the spot.

Like the floor had bonded to my feet making moving an unachievable task.

It didn't take long for him to throw me into the nearby broom closet and pin me harshly against the wall though. He obviously, was having no trouble moving.

"Please… I .."

I mumbled again, I would have tried to push him off, but that probably would have lead to more horror. I would have tried to scream but as this section was basically deserted no one would come to my rescue and I had the horrible feeling that if I dared to scream the nurse would be twice as rough in what I know he was going to do.

"Honey. Hush. I'm going to make you better."

Adam cooed sickly, hand traveling down to quickly rid me off my pants and underwear. Leaving me in nothing but a shirt before him.

_You deserve this… you deserve every thing that you're going to get ..horrible child.. _

"No.. no.. please don't I'm sorry.."

I don't even know what I was apologizing for, or why I was mumbling sorry like it would save me from this fate. All I really knew at this point was that I didn't want that hand on me, I didn't want it exploring my lower regions in a sick closed way, I didn't want any of it.

But that wasn't going to make it stop.

"Shut up."

Adam ordered, turning me around and forcing me into the cement wall before us. He grabbed my legs and pushed them apart, almost treating me like a rag doll, or a manikin for his own sick amusement.

I knew what was coming next, Oh I knew. And you know I think I would have rather not known, could have saved me a few moments of heart stopping terror.

"Please don't.. Adam. I'm sorry.."

It wouldn't help, I knew that already and knew it even more when he banged my head roughly against the cement in a bruising force which I had no doubt in thinking would leave a gigantic purple mark in an hour or so.

"Shut up. Or ill make this worse."

Yes I knew what was coming, but that didn't, make it any less painful.

This was true pain, I've cut my arms, slit my legs, imbedded a piece of glass through my hand and nothing, nothing could compare to what I was feeling now.

Like I was being ripped from the inside out, every one of his thrusts just adding to my dizzying wave of horror, misery, and pain.

"Please.."

I begged in a most sob wracked voice, tears falling down my face like some sort of sick unwanted rain. So I was weak, I knew this and I accepted it.

Technically I'd do anything not to be here, at this moment. Not be pinned against a wall having my virginity stolen and ripped away. I don't care how much pride I was going to lose in begging, or how weak that was.

_Because you are weak.. and you deserve this.. you deserve everything._

"Oh shhhhh. You know you like it. Tell me, tell me you like it."

The sicko perv that was the head nurse ordered again, banging my head once more to the rough concrete and giving a particularly harsh thrush when I didn't comply with his words.

"Say it."

"I like it…. I like it."

I sobbed out killing the small shred of my dignity and burying it in a blank box with no tombstone.

"Good boy."

Adam cooed sickly, allowing me to remain silent and in tears until he finished his deed before letting me fall pathetically to the stained, cold floor in a heap of blood, tears, and semen.

He put himself back together, pulling on his pants and re-fastening his belt. Spraying some sort of foul smelling cologne to cover up all traces of his crime, ignoring the crying heap on the ground that was myself.

"Oh get over it baby. Soon you'll be coming to me for this. Now get that pretty ass dressed and back to bed or else we may have to repeat this lesson again tonight."

He leaned down giving my bruised, bleeding arse one hell of a rough squeeze before walking out the door with the promise that he would return if I wasn't back in bed in twenty minutes.

I scrambled to get my clothing back on, moving unfortunately a lot slower then I normally would have due to the pain. I used up a good chunk of that twenty minutes getting fully clothed again.

Precious time that was ticking away all to fast.

_You got exactly what you needed.. do you feel dirty now? Its because you are dirty._

I didn't feel dirty. Dirty wasn't a good enough word to describe what I was felling at the moment. It was by far an understatement.

No time to muse on that however, no time at all. I had to get back to my room. And by the time it took me to even begin walking down the hall I would say I have less the five minutes to get there.

So I ran.

Ignoring the pain, ignoring every sick and vivid memory that passed through my mind, ignoring the voice that was throwing insults at me, and just generally ignoring everything and everyone until I got back into my room and slammed the door shut.

Waking up my roommate in the process.

"Doll, what are you doing up at this ti… oh my god."

Envy had jumped out of his bed and rushed to my side at the sign of my dirty, bloody self. Well.. he may have not seen the blood at first, but he had surely seen the bruise that was left by the wall.

He didn't notice the blood till he got to my side.

"Adam got you didn't he? Oh.. Doll I'm so sorry, I love you.. you should have woken me if you were going to leave I would have went with you.."

We just sat there on the ground for God-only-knows how many hours, me a shaking ball of tearful, pained goop. And Envy with his arms firmly wrapped around me mumbling apologies and telling me it was going to be alright.

"How did you know?"

I asked when I had calmed myself down to the level of coherent speech. Which in itself took a few hours at best due to my pathetic display of what a weakling I truly am.

"How did you know it was Adam that got.. me"

I chocked out the words, sinking into another crying fit as Envy held me tight.

A look of sadness and despair came onto his face at the question, and he took a deep.. long sigh before laying his head onto my own.

"He gets us all."

-------------------

Now I can answer your question.  
Is Adam the one who is going to rape Ron?  
YES! Mwa ha ha Fear it.. . FEAR IT!  
Mwa ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ….HA .. ok I'm done with the ha's now!  
Hope you all liked it.

Reviewers get pixel cookies delivered by the insane Ronnie.

Much Love  
-Elixier


	11. Chapter 11

Broken Beyond Compare

Told you all I'd have it up sooner!  
''does a stupid little dance of victory''  
Anyways! Here's chap 11. I got a whole bunch of reviews from the last chapter yelling at me for just dropping you all of on that pretty cliff.  
SO!  
I worked twice as hard to get this one to you a bit faster, plus I'm just in a writing mood.

And I know that some of you said the last chapter was cruel and one person even said it almost made them sick.  
Well... I'm sorry to you guys! I really am, I didn't mean to make anyone sick. BUT I did warn you all it was coming.  
I've had the word 'rape' in the warnings since I started this fic.  
But I am sorry. Even sorrier to inform you all that Adam isn't going anywhere anytime soon, he will continue his sick and twisted reign for a good few chapters still.

But we all hate him…  
Yes we do! What can I say, I needed a really bad villain for this fic. And thus the head nurse was born.

Enjoy!

-------------------

Chapter 11

-------------------

I fell asleep, or rather cried myself to sleep, in Envy's arms that night. Wracked with nightmares and the horrible sense of overwhelming dread because some part of me was telling myself that what happened a few hours ago may have been the first time, but it would not be the last.

And I knew that it was right. I was locked in a small portion of a building with him, it's not like I could just avoid contact.

As it turns out however, sleeping on the floor was not a good idea for me and Envy both awoke with horrible pains in our backs and freezing from the heat-less white marble tiles.

Not to mention that this pain was only added to my other pains. It was not really a pretty site, waking up in such horrid aches, caked in your own dried blood, bruises standing out visibly under the flakey dried red, purple against pale skin. All evidence of what had happened.

Nothing would let me forget that half-hour of horror, its like it was imprinted in my head, poking at me and pricking at me, screaming 'you were raped' over and over again in an ear ringing volume.

_You filthy dirty whore this is all your fault …….you got what you deserved………_

The voice seems thrilled about it though.

I let out an audible sob at that. Was it really my fault? Was I really a whore if I didn't want to have sex with him? Yes. I was wasn't I?

A hand immediately latched onto my arm at the sob and I jumped at least six or seven feet into the air, ignoring the horrible revolt my lower body sprung into at the movement. God why couldn't I just have died when I stabbed myself with the glass? Things would have been so much simpler if I had.

"Whoa… Calm down Doll, it's just me."

I heard Envy say, finally turning my eyes to the black haired male beside me. God I was so happy to see him, really I was. I don't know if I would have been able to get through last night if he weren't here.

"Come on. We have to get to the shower before they come looking for us. We need to get the blood off of you."

He stated, helping me to my feet, and bracing me against him so we could walk, well...limp, to the gigantic shower stall that lied two hallways away. Why was everything so far away all of a sudden?

Walking never hurt so badly. Honestly I would have much rather curled up in a corner and died then moved at all.

What bit at me more is the way no one seemed to give me much thought. I mean the last thing I wanted was a frenzy of nurses all over me but we past at least six white-clad, male nurses on the way to the shower and they didn't even seem to care.

Almost as if they already knew what went on, and either were too afraid to say anything or just truly didn't give a shit.

Both were unpleasant thoughts.

We got their in once piece though, thankfully, and thus started the next difficult task. Getting all the blood off my body without causing more pain then was needed. Which by the way, I failed at.

It took us nearly an hour with both me and Envy scrubbing away at the caked on red that covered a good portion of my upper body and nearly all of my lower body. We were the first ones in and the last ones out. I guess it was my fault really, considering I was moving much slower then I should have been because Adam was one of the nurses who watched us in the shower.

I could feel his eyes on me from behind and it nearly made me faint from fright. Why was he doing this? Hasn't he tortured me enough?

The real visual damage however didn't hit me until I stood before the floor length mirror in the changing room.

I had bruises all around my lower regions, more specifically my arse. My face as well had a huge bruise covering the entire left side as well as visible scrapes from the cement. And very identifiable handprints and my hips. Those were my least favorite. Adams handprints standing out deep purple against the pale cream-colored skin of my hipbones, showing everyone who looked exactly where he held me.

It sickened me, and I only just made it to the bathroom before I violently threw up. Blood. More blood just pouring out of my body as it seems I still hadn't given myself enough food to throw up anything besides the same red fluid that I had been losing all night.

It both made me sick, and made me love Envy more for the fact that he stayed with me the entire time.

"You alright.. well. I know you're not alright but are you any better?"

He asked once our lovely little adventure with the bathroom and shower room was finished. I nodded half-heatedly as a reply. We were finally dressed and groomed and I could manage to walk by myself. Which in itself was one of the most difficult tasks of the morning.

The lounge area was the same as always, besides the trite fact that there were a few elder people about. Parents I suppose. My mind drifted for a second on the question of why it was these people were here.

Then it hit me with one hell of a smack in the face.

Visiting day. Oh god… I had forgotten about it due to last nights activities. I was dreading it before and now I have a gigantic scraped up bruise on my face. This was going to be hell.. how was I supposed to explain it?

"Envy.. what am I going to tell them?"

I asked in a panic stricken voice, clutching onto his arm. He looked at me for a second before the question made sense. Then his eyes widened a bit, and it was very clear I wasn't the only one who forgot what day it was.

"Oh my god Doll.. I don't know. I didn't even remember.. tell them you fell.. hard.."

It sounded like a lame excuse, but considering we were both far too tiered and messed up to think anymore it would have to do. So I nodded and we continued on our way to find Rage and Cin, I didn't exactly know what time my family would arrive, but I knew it would be far too early.

Far.. far too early.

"Envy, Doll"

Our names were called from the left where Rage sat idly shredding a book from the library. He was here for a conduct disorder of some sort, basically he had an anger problem, piss him off and pay dearly, that was the way it worked.

We loved him to death though.

"Where were you guys You took forever in the .. oh my god."

He had obviously caught site of my lovely half purple face. Either that or he noticed the way I had my arms wrapped around myself and was walking as if I was glass.

But you know, Rage lacks such an attention to detail, so we knew it had to be my face.

Like everyone else he seemed to already know what happened as well. His face twisted with clear hatred and anger, and you could just tell he was fighting the urge to break something…. Or someone for that direct matter.

"When did he do it?"

"Last night, around four I'm guessing right Doll?"

Envy answered his lovers question with a clam tone, looking at the older male sternly as if trying to imprint the words 'don't do anything stupid' into his mind.

I wished him the best of luck in that really. Because making Rage listen is like trying to get Bill to not be an ass.

Such things weren't possible.

"Ill kill him.. are you alright Doll?"

Rage stated with utter malice that made me flinch beside myself, pulling both me and Envy into a protective rib-crushing hug. Which was not pleasant as my stomach too was bruised.

"I'm alright."

I replied without much meaning to those words and it was so plainly obvious that I was not alright it almost made me sick again.

"Cin is going to freak when he finds out. He's off dealing with his own jackass of a father right now."

I nodded silently into his chest as he was yet to release us from his bear hug, Shame really I had wanted to see Cin, he just had a way of making me feel better.

_Falling for a guy…. Sick.. sick.. he should have raped you harder…_

Yeah…. I really needed to someone to make me feel better just about now.

Especially since the next thing I heard was the very last thing I wanted.

"Ronald Weasley, your family is here."

Oh god. Could this day get worse? I caught site of Adam out of the side of my eye and hoped to death I hadn't jinxed myself enough with those words to draw him near again.

Strange really, he seemed to be around more today then before. Maybe I'm just paying to much attention, or maybe he's watching me.

I hope I'm just paying to much attention. I really do.

I untangled myself from Rage then, who gave me a brief kiss on my forehead before I was dragged off to the left hall and was sent on the path to the art room, where I'm guessing a sea of red-heads were awaiting me.

Shame there was a nurse walking behind me or I would have slowed to the pace of a snail with a broken leg, drawing out the moment I faced them as long as possible.

Which wasn't very long as the art room was just down the hall.

Joy for me.

I turned dejectedly into the room, where my ears were nearly split with an earth shattering scream before I so much as had the time to take in my surroundings.

"Ronnie, oh Ronnie what happened?"

Mum was in a panic fit she was, half in tears, and half demanding to know what happened to my face. Thank god she couldn't see the rest of me. She would have died from the shock.

And I didn't need that hanging over my head as well.

The rest of my family seemed just as horrified as mum to have found me in this state of.. dire bruise-ment. They however seemed to be handling it better then my dear old mother was. Dad was looking at me with a sympathetic, worried look. Bill looked torn between homicidal and concerned, Charlie was standing beside Bill and looked a bit worried but ready to spring into action.

For the fact that he probably thought I was beat up, and was ready to hold Bill back when he tried to go on a killing spree.

If only they knew.

Percy was sending me a smile that was so pathetically fake it was almost sad, Ginny was crying silently beside our mother, George, stood with his arms crossed a look of utter worry on his face. And Fred, the robot lord himself was nearly pressed against my side, finger lifting my chin gently as if to pier at the scratching up stained purple flesh better.

Now I remembered why I liked to avoid them when I was at home…..

"My god Ron, what happened to you… did someone hurt you?"

Fred stated a tone of anger in his voice at the mere mention of someone hurting me. God forbid anyone ruin my life besides him and Bill.

Jerks…..

_Are you going to tell them…. Are you? Are you going to tell them what a whore you are?_

"No."

I snapped out both in response to the voice and the robot lord, watching as that small flash of hurt danced through my brother's eyes before it was squished into the background.

Fred was weird……

And rather close…. far to near to me to be completely comfortable. But mostly he was just annoying… and an ass….

Jerk summed it up.. I loved that word.

"What happened to you then?"

Bill asked, arms crossed, demanding stance taken. It was like facing some sort of ultimate power, as if he was daring me not to answer him. I would have stuck out my tongue and preceded to do other immature things but my body wasn't recovered enough for a fight.

And quite frankly I didn't want anything to draw Adam near.. and yelling was sure to catch the head-nurses ear.

"I fell."

I answered the excuse sounding far more worthless when I said it out loud rather then inside my own head. And that really can't be all too good, can it?

"What did you fall on? Someone's fist."

Bill shot at me, knowing I was lying right from the beginning. Damn him for being able to see through me like a crystalline glass.

Jerk.

"Bill enough."

Both Fred and Mum came to my defense, the twin of terror still yet to take his hands off my face. Which I thought was pretty unnerving in the least. I forgot how touchy he had become, and immediately shrunk away from him.

I hate questions. Why did everyone always ask questions? Couldn't they just leave well enough alone?

Guess not.

"Ron there is no way you could have gotten that from falling. Tell us what really happened."

Charlie just plummeted down six levels on my favorite elder brother chart. I usually adored him, never ask too many questions, very easy going, could beat up Bill.. you know the works.

Now he was on the same level as Bill for asking such a question and pointing out my lie.

Jerk.

I was saved from the horror of answering however when I heard my name being called from behind me. A smile broke on my, rather abused, face as I saw the dark skinned, bushy haired, honey colored eye from of Cin heading toward me.

He could not have come any sooner. Once more a sense of clam came over me, something I hadn't felt since four a.m last night.

"Hey there Baby Doll, Look at your face. I'm so sorry, I know what happened…."

He stated wrapping me into his arms and placing a kiss atop my head, I could have fainted from the security I felt. Nothing could touch me when I was with Cin.

Not even Adam.

_Oh yes he could….. no one will protect you Ron, no one will save you…_

Shut up. I didn't ask you..

I almost broke into tears again, thankfully I murdered the salty water that was welling up in my eyes fast enough to save myself from anything else that could make my family suspicious. Or more suspicious for that matter as they were probably already a bit nosy about what it was that had happened.

Like I'd actually tell them…

It didn't last long though, it was only a few seconds before I felt myself pulled out of the embrace and someone put themselves right between me and my honey eyed savior.

Honey eyed savior… where the fuck did that come from?

"Who the hell are you."

Fred, the obvious culprit who broke my hug, stated with a sense of deep hatred and something else I couldn't quite place.

Cin just looked at him for a moment, as if trying to determine something. Then he smiled. I couldn't understand for the life of me why. If one of the twins were glowering in my face I would have smacked them.

Then ran like hell incase they decided to get even.

"You must be Fred."

He stated with a genuine smile, and I was left in wonder at how he could keep so calm and how it was that he knew who the hell Fred was. Did I do the talking thing with him to?

The whole talk about Fred and not remember it the next second bit I did with Dr. Bick.

I hoped not.

"Yeah, I'm Fred. Now who the fuck are you."

"Fred."

I heard Bill warn. Ohh. There it was again. The whole 'I know something you don't know' thing. Even Cin seemed to know the deep dark secret. Was everyone getting a memo on this besides me? Because I for one, would like to see this memo.

"Names Cin."

He replied, still as calm as ever despite my brothers way less-then-friendly tone. He seemed as if he were about to hold out a hand to shake the seething twin before him, but thought better of it.

Fred remained unconvinced and still stood in front of me in a horrible angry way, glaring at Cin with every fiber of his body. The human part of his body that was, because lets all remember that Fred is mostly built of metal.

And it was stating to bug me. What the hell did Cin do to him to make him so pissed? God was he just mean to everyone or did he save it for specially to ruin my entire life.

Like Bill did for example.

"Fred stop it. You don't have to be such a jerk."

I snapped, moving myself next to the dark skinned male and promptly glaring back at my older brother, as Cin just seemed to find this whole situation rather amusing.

And the feeling returned. Little bunny rabbits were dancing around in my mind with pink carrots all singing _'I know something you don't know! I know something you don't know!'_.

I have to stop having thoughts like that…….

Funny the way Fred seemed to seethe even more at Cin after I stood up for him. He should have been angry at me really. I don't even know why I'm attempting to crack the very complex code of the twin's minds.

It's a waste of existence, and energy. And technically I was already vastly low on energy so why I was still trying to break into Fred's thoughts was beyond me.

"Well, this was a nice meeting. I just came to see you Baby Doll, Il be waiting for you outside when your done ok?"

Cin stated after about three minutes of me glaring at Fred, Fred glaring at Cin, and my entire family sitting silently watching with bewildered looks on their face. Actually it was only Mum, Dad, and Ginny with the bewildered looks. All my brothers seemed to already know what was going on.

"Doll?"

I heard Bill inquire to me, no doubt in wonder as to why it was this stranger was calling me that. I just brushed him off a mumbled the word nickname in reply. This only seemed to piss Fred off more.

"Alright Cin. Ill see you then k."

I replied breaking away from my lovely staring fest to wrap my arms around his neck. If I had my way I would leave with Cin and ignore my family for the time.

But I rarely got my way. In fact.. I never got my way.

"I don't want you to leave."

I whispered to him, arms still latched around his neck as it to let go would mean to die.

"He just squeezed me extra hard and kissed my forehead before shooting me a reassuring smile and turning away to find some spot in the hallway to site for the remaining two hours of my visiting time.

I would have paid money to have gone with him, it almost seemed as if every feeling of security I had for those few short moments wisped away, walking right into that hallway with Cin to sit and await my return from the hell session.

He didn't get far though, because no sooner then he had gone about six steps Envy came running into the room, a horrified look on his face.

Oh god.. what happened now…

_Maybe he's a whore to… maybe he was playing in a broom closet just like you were you sick ugly doll…_

Die Die Die………

"Doll.. I think I messed up.. really.. really bad.."

He stated in a panic struck voice, tears welling in his eyes. Both him and Cin around me now.

I hoped all visiting days weren't so eventful.

"What?"

My voice was dry and shaky, every fiber of my mind just screaming this had something to do with Adam. Had he done the same thing to Envy while I was away?

"Well I had an appointment with Bick today, and I was still mad and upset over what happened last night because I love you to death and everything. And I may have told him what happened……. It was an accident though I didn't mean to tell him.. I might not of ..I don't remember."

Envy was horribly rambling, but I caught every word.

My heart, or what had been left of it shrank down into tiny shreds near the pit of my stomach. If he told .. and Adam found out.. oh my god.. he was going to come after us if he got in trouble.

Adam would so come after us.. and he wouldn't kill us either.. that would be what we wanted. No.. he'd do something horrible… I didn't even want to think about it. I could already feel the tears welling in my own eyes, the entire fact that my family was inches away listening didn't matter anymore.

But there was a chance he didn't tell them right? That this was all a big misunderstanding and he was just upset and all.

Right?

Wrong.

Dr. Bick himself along with two other nurses whose names I didn't know stepped into the art room with grave looks, heading directly for us.

I want to die.. oh I want to die so bad.

_He's going to tell then what a whore you are…_

No no.. please don't tell them.. Oh god please don't tell them..

"Mr., Mrs. Weasley."

The balding doctor said with a nod to both my parents, and it was painfully clear he was about to inform them of something bad.

Me, and Envy had practically melted ourselves to Cin and were waiting for the words we knew he was going to say.

"Afraid I have some bad news."

Bick said grimly sending me a look which was unreadable and weird. I ignored him and turned my head the other way. I didn't much care to look at him, or acknowledge him at all in this precise moment.

"Its seems, your son. Ron, has been raped."

I've never seen Bill and Fred look so homicidal in my life.

-------------------

Aww! Fred is jealous!  
Mwa ha ha….

What will the Weasley's do now that they know what happened to poor Ronnie?  
Maybe some heads will fly 'cut brutally off by the lovely enraged Bill and Fred'  
Who knows?

What a lovely cliff hanger!  
'scurries away'

Reviews make Adam feel horrible pain. So for the sake of Needleburg Asylum patients. Please review, plus ill love you forever if you do.

Much love.  
-Elixier


	12. Chapter 12

Broken Beyond Compare

Yes! You didn't get a drabble this time.  
WHY?  
Because I'm fresh out of idea's for them at the moment.

Besides I'm updating this fic faster so you guys can go a little bit without them right?  
I've been hit with a twisted muse who forces me to stay up long hours into the night simply writing about Ron's adventures at the asylum of hell.

And because I'm simply in the mood to do this story. I rather like how its coming out. Even though some chapters are going to be ….. weird.  
I still like it! And who likes normal chapters anyways?  
Those are no fun.

Well! Without further ado! I present Chapter twelve!

Enjoy

-------------------

Chapter 12

-------------------

"Excuse me?"

Ohh, that couldn't be good. It was a death whisper, as we call them in my family. When you whisper something because you're so pissed your voice can't seem to make loud noises.

It was worse then yelling by far, and as the question was asked by both Bill and Fred at the same time, the danger was doubled.

Very bad indeed…

Mom let out a wracking cry, and I attached myself to Cin's arm in the horror of it. Why did they have to come and tell my family something like that? Couldn't they just have written a letter to them once they were back home and a million miles away from me?

_Ohhh.. now they know.. they know what a whore you are… _

"Will you stop already?"

I snapped ruefully at the voice, instantly turning the many pairs of eyes that peppered the room on me. Which in my case wasn't a good thing. I didn't need any more of the unwanted attention directed toward me.. I really, really didn't.

"Who did it?"

Fred was standing in front of my half-sane self only seconds later, hands firmly holding my shoulders, eyes blazing with an anger I've never seen from him before, almost as if hell itself had taken over his body.

Was I scared? You betcha!

After all, tell me you wouldn't freak at the site of your older brother possessed by some fiery demon and right flush against you.

Yeah, you would be scared to.

I couldn't speak at all in my horror though, for the fact that one, they had been informed of last nights terror session, two, if Adam found out hell would break lose, and three Bill and Fred were leering over me like wolves protecting territory, both seething and beyond pissed.

I suddenly found myself missing the peace of the asylum that seemed a distant memory now…

I only just managed out an inaudible mumble and shook my head, trying to wiggle my way out of the robot lords grasp to run and hide somewhere safe.. like my room or a dark corner or.. Cin's arms…

Cin's arms seemed best…

Fred obviously realized no answer was going to make its way out of my mouth, and just settled to release me and turn toward Dr. Bick, glaring at him as if he were some sort of monster threatening his own sanity.

As if he had any..

"Who did it to him? Who the hell touched _my_ brother."

Bick flinched. He actually flinched, and I would have found that deathly funny if I wasn't crying my eyes out in a fatal position on the floor.

I don't remember when I started crying exactly, but it didn't really matter. Envy was beside me in just as bad a state, and poor Cin was between us, arm firmly wrapped around each trying to calm us down a bit.

And not succeeding in that task at all.

It didn't last long though, sadly, because it was very soon that the robot god noticed this physical contact that he deemed a bad thing and slapped the dark skinned males hand right off my shoulder with the promise he would break it if it touched me again.

That struck a nerve with Cin it seemed.

"I'm just trying to help him. Your not doing such a wonderful job at it, standing there raising hell. Look at him, do you really think this is helping? Do you?"

I loved him so much.

_You sick, sick child…._

No one asked you for your lovely opinion.

Those words struck a bad nerve with Fred, and I'm very sure a fight would have broken out right then and there if Bill and Charlie didn't stand between them.

"I don't know who did it. That's what we've come to find out. Now honestly boys please let's all settle down."

Bick stated, backing a few paces away from Bill who was standing particularly close to him, as if he was afraid of being within arms distance from my eldest brother.

Which, mind you, I didn't blame him for.

No one seemed convinced however that 'settling down' was the best thing to do.

Bill was still in 'homicidal' mode, Charlie looked worried, mad, and exasperated on many levels, Mum, dad, Ginny, and my two remaining brothers were in a lapsed and horrified silence, me and Envy were two watery eyed heaps on the floor, and Fred and Cin were both standing and glaring at each other over the shoulders of my two eldest brothers as if waiting for the right moment to attack.

Yeah… settling down seemed a bit far off…

Or at least so it seemed.

"Sit down."

It was a screamed order, as if the person who had spoken it meant every word with as much malice as mortally possible, daring everyone present to deny his command.

Surprisingly they listened as well, it had come as such a shock that everyone present, with the exception of Bill, Charlie, Fred, and Cin, took a seat almost immediately.

I would have done the same thing really, as it was Rage who had screamed the order. And I didn't want to see him angry… he had to of been named Rage for a reason.

"Who are you?"

Charlie, the only one left who could manage to form coherent words, stated turning around to look at the newest male that had entered the art room.. which had turned into a battle field in the last three minutes.

"They call me Rage, Now sit, acting like morons won't get anyone anywhere."

Ohh.. he was mad.. And obviously the sight of me and Envy promptly becoming more insane by the second wasn't helping him with his 'conduct disorder'.

Charlie just shrugged, deciding it best to calm everyone down just the same, he pulled Bill and Fred (with much difficultly), to the side and pushed them both into seats, pulling his wand out in the process should he have to bind them there with chains if they acted up again.

Which, no doubt, he wouldn't hesitate in doing.

Rage made his way back to me and Envy, wrapping an arm around each of us as Cin sat directly beside me.

He didn't try to touch me though, as he obviously thought it better not to test Fred's patience at the moment considering the fact that my brother's nerves were probably very well stretched to a limit as is.

Plus, Cin wasn't really a violent person, but I had no doubt he could fair well in a battle with the robot lord.

Why was Fred pissed anyways? He had no reason to be, maybe he was just insane like me.

In which case he should have been locked up in an asylum as well, because Fred going insane is a horrible danger to society.

And the free world…

"Ok, Now we came to see about this issue. Ron, I know you're upset but can you please tell me who did this to you?"

It seemed Bick had recovered from all the lovely horror that had made itself known.

Shame I hadn't. I wouldn't have answered anyways, id rather not face Adam again.

Really..

"Ron, tell us…"

Bill demanded rather then asked. As if he himself held the divine ability to make me speak and get the answers they all sought for.

No thanks. Id much rather talk to a wall.

"I want him out of here. I want to take him home. Now."

It was my father who stated that, anger and worry in his voice the thought of his baby boy being wrongfully touched obviously not pleasing to his psyche. He was mad just as well and Fred and Bill seemed, he just wasn't showing it for which I was grateful for.

But I was not grateful for his remark. As much as I hated Adam and these stupid off-whit halls and navy floors, I loved Cin, Rage, and Envy.. and technically at this point I wasn't sure if Leaving then was something I could truly accomplish.

And live through, for that matter.

"We cant do the Mr. Weasley. I understand your position as a father but we are ordered by law to keep him in a safe facility until he is fully recovered. And we want you to know that we are going to do our best to keep this from happening again."

Bick reasoned calmly to my hyped parents, almost peculiarly standing a good few feet out of my brother's distance.

Which I found funny, What was more amusing was the fact that he spoke the words 'until he is fully recovered' as if he thought it would never happen.

Which I for one, fully and completely agree with. After all with the voice and Adam all I was going to get was more insane then when I first arrived.

"Your best isn't good enough. If it was this wouldn't of happened in the first place."

"Fred calm down."

Charlie snapped at the end of his own patience, pulling said twin back into his seat from which he had stood up from in his little outburst of hatred. I kind of felt sorry for the second eldest.

He had to go home with the jerks..

"Were leaving. They don't need this."

Rage shot with the air of that being the final word. Glaring at everyone who would have dared to open their mouths and seizing me and Envy dragging us to the door and down the hall before anyone could argue, Cin in tow.

"Are you alright Doll."

Cin asked, wrapping an arm firmly around my shoulder pulling me to his side in what was certainly an attempt to calm me down.

Which worked. Cin just had the effect on me. Anyone could have put their arm around me and I would have tensed and freaked. But not him.

_Your falling for him aren't you …. You sick, sick child……Whore.. abomination.._

"Stupid thing…. I hate voices…"

I mumbled pathetically, leaning my head into Cin's shoulder as if it would somehow block that horrid thing out.

And surprisingly it did.

"I know Baby Doll. If there was a way I could kill that voice of yours I swear I would. But you know, Fred would have probably already done it if the was a way."

He remarked with a small smile, seemingly happy that I was calm enough to form coherent words once more. For hoe long remained to be seen however.

"I'm sorry he was such an ass to you…. Fred's a jerk.. like Bill. They have no feelings.."

Which they didn't.

"You really don't think that baby doll. They care about you. And don't worry, I kind of expected that reaction when I met Fred. Me and him have something in common, and he hates that. Seems we have an interest in the same thing."

Cin laughed a bit at that, as if the entire meeting with the robot lord still amused the hell out of him. I myself still didn't get it. What the hell was so funny, and what was he even talking about.. interest in the same thing.

Like what?

"What do you two have in common? And why is he mad about it anyways? God I wish he'd go jump off a bridge…"

"No you don't. You just don't realize it yet baby doll. I'm not sure if you're quite ready to know what we have in common.. I'm probably not the right person to tell you anyways."

He leaned down and kissed me on the forehead before shooting me one of his customary 'everything will be alright' smiles.

Which made me smile as well. I really do think I'm beginning to fall in love with him.

And that scared me to bits really. What if he didn't love me back? Ah well, I'm top fucked up to think of such things right now.

"Come on. I think at the moment we need to get yours and Envy's pretty faces void of tear trails."

Cin remarked causing all four of us to laugh as we made our way into the safety of Rage and his room.

I was actually quite surprised we weren't called back. I was sure they wanted to bring me back at least, and I know Bill had a fit when we walked out. But I'm glad they didn't come get me… I probably would still be a quivering mass on the ground if they had.

Two hours later Me and Envy were tearless, without red puffy eyes, and curled in blankets drawing idiot pictures in those stupid journals that had given us.

A sense of peace fully washed upon me, partly because I knew that Adam would be able to get me when I was in the presence of Rage and Cin, and partly because said dark skinned male had an arm firmly wrapped around my waist, reading a book as me and Envy drew.

Which, mind you, we had found we had a talent for. I never thought I could draw really.

But as it turns out I could. Yay me.

A question struck me then.

"Envy. What did you mean last night… when you said that Adam gets us all?"

I shivered at his name, and unknowing backed myself further into the warm body beside me that was Cin.

He stiffened, and I could feel his body tense with dislike at the mere mention of the head-nurses name. Obviously he strongly disliked the blond, Rage looked homicidal again and I instantly regretted asking.

"Because he does. He's raped everyone at least once. With the exception of Rage and Cin.. I guess he was afraid they could fight back."

Envy answered, shooting me a sympathetic look. And I found that I completely believed that.

Envy wouldn't lie to me of course, but I just couldn't see Adam getting at Cin nor Rage. Because quite frankly they would have broke him.

I wanted to rush over and hug him, suddenly much more fond of the black haired teen then I had previously been.

At least I was the only one to have gone through it. That made me feel a bit better.

And just managed to ever prove that Adam was as much of sick fuck as I thought.

"Why hasn't anyone told? Why hasn't he gotten in trouble? Why does he still work here..?"

I rambled almost desperately wondering why indeed he wasn't in jail if he had done this to everyone. I shuddered at the memory of last night, remembering what it felt like and the terror it inflicted on me.

Why would anyone not tell? Why didn't I tell?

_Because you're a stupid whore… a stupid little chicken blooded slut.._

I hate voices.. I really do….. They should give me better pills for that thing.

"Because people would be pissed. Its another way of what they call 'beating the system."

Rage answered bitterly, as if whatever it is he meant sickened him and served to piss him off further.

Cin pulled me further against him, as if to shelter me from the truth that was most certainly coming. Or perhaps just because he wanted me near to him.

I wasn't going to complain about it. Any reason to be in his arms is a good one.

Unless it involves Adam.

"I don't understand."

I replied quietly, wondering not for the first time why it was that I seemed so clueless when everyone around seemed to know exactly what the fuck was going on. Is that why I cant figure out Fred? And this deep secret everyone seems to know.

Was I just that stupid?

_Yes…._

No one asked you. Go drown yourself in the deep pit of my mind and leave me alone…

_You need me… I'm the only one who knows the real you ,…. Whore…_

Die….

"People here are in pain Doll. Not physical pain, but the kind you just cant escape. Mentality is a fragile thing. Its why you tried to commit suicide, its why were all here really. And some people just cant handle it."

Rage answered again, still bitter. Running a hand through his slightly messed up hair, which had gotten a bit unruly with the lovely morning episode.

I still wasn't comprehending what he was saying, and I must of looked as clueless as I was because he shook his head and smiled at me.

Why was everyone doing that? Masking the horror of what they were going to say with a smile. Did they think I couldn't handle it?

No.. They knew I could. They were probably just trying to protect me.

God I hated being the youngest sometime. Even Envy seemed horribly older even though he only beat me by a few months.

"Doll. Pills can kill pain, providing you get the strong ones which they only give to the really messed up patients in the B wing. Adam can get those pills. Steal them and hand them out at will… Only you have to pay him for his services. And his select form of payment in sexual favors."

I instantly felt the need to throw up. Cin was tense as hell behind me as if even talking about what the head nurse did pissed him off to a 'bill worthy' level. Rage was no better, and Envy was just staring at the wall as if it would suddenly speak words of comfort to him.

That was sick. Sex for pills.

I could understand it though.. I knew what it was like, I knew the pain and I faced it everyday. But why would you go that far? To abide to Adam's sick, twisted pleasure just for a few pills.

_The same reason you cut yourself stupid….. you want the pain to end.. you'd do anything to stop it….._

Well I wouldn't sell myself to that perv for it… I wouldn't… I just .. I wouldn't..

Not ever… Right?

"I guess that was what he meant when he told me that I would come to him for it soon…. Why would anyone give into him like that?"

An uncomfortable silence filled the room at my words. It unnerved me slightly to hear the room suddenly go silent as death.

They all seemed to know something I didn't…. then what else is new?

They always knew something I didn't.

Rage pulled Envy to his side just as Cin had done me a bit earlier, with a set look upon his face.

Envy himself seemed dejected and sad as if there was a truth he didn't want to face.

It hit me then, and it hit me hard.

That's why Envy never snapped out at the voice in his head.

Because he couldn't hear it, At first I though he had just learned to tune it out. But I was wrong wasn't I. You couldn't tune a voice out.. you'd need strong pills to kill it.

Pills he got from Adam.

-------------------

Told you all that Adam was sicker then he first seemed.  
Ohh, he's very bad….. worse then this even.  
His true evil will show in future chapters, I assure you all that the pervy head nurse isn't going to disappear for a while now.  
Poor, poor Doll and Envy.

MWA HA HA HA!  
Hope you all liked it, and I thank you for the many reviews!  
That's what keeps me going on this story!  
Love you all! And please let me know what you think so far!

**OOHH! I forgot to mention**, I've had people ask for a few of the chapters to be re-done in Fred's p.o.v.  
And after MUCH deliberation. I've decided that I **will** do some over in Fred's P.O.V

YAY! Right?

I'm thinking I would do about six or seven of them over for you guys and post them as 'special chaps' in the future. (I'm not going to tell you when you'll get them.. just that you will eventually get them….)

Now all you guys need to do is let me know which ones you'd like to see from the eyes of the robot-lord.

Even so, I wont be doing them for a little while so even future chap's like (13 through whenever I deicide to end the ficcy) Can be a choice once they come out! ((Ill post special chapters randomly as I do them, along side normal updates for the fic. So no worries that I would abandon Ron's p.o.v for Fred's. As this story was meant for Ron, because I wanted you all to see it through the mind and eyes of the mental one! ))

SO let me know ok? Any particular favorites that you have wondered what Fred was doing or thinking just send me the number and Ill write them all on a Big list and randomly chose one when I'm in a writing mood.

Reviews make me skip in happiness.

Much Love.  
-Elixier


	13. Chapter 13

Broken Beyond Compare

Yet another update from the twisted and dark mind of Elixier!  
Fear me… FEAR ME!!!!!!!!  
Yes... I'm in a weird mood if you haven't noticed!

And yet, you go again without a drabble. Sorry loves, really... I just can't think of anything for them at the time.  
Don't worry, Inspiration will hit soon! I promise.

Until then though! I hope you all enjoy the 13th installment of Broken Beyond Compare...  
Ironic really that this is the 13th chapter, and I'm posting it on Friday the 13th….

I didn't plan that I swear…..

Hope you all enjoy it!

-------------------

Chapter 13

-------------------

"Let me have some time with Doll you guys… to put it more nicely. GET LOST."

Envy stated, after a moment of me just staring at him in a horror struck shock.

Both Cin and Rage hesitated at this order, but none-the-less removed themselves from the room. Giving both me and Envy two large kisses before vanishing into the hall no doubt to go to their room and brutally sink into a hatred state inflicted toward the head nurse from hell.

Joys.

"Doll….?"

Envy asked after a moment of retrained silence, he seemed unsure... as if he thought I hated him or was disgusted by him now that I knew exactly how far he would go to ease the pain.

I thought about that mental statement for a moment. Envy sold his body for pills to escape the pain... did I even have a right to be shocked by that at all? For the fact that I tried to kill myself to ease my own pain.

Was attempting suicide worse? Or was it just more desperate?

"Doll..?"

It was stated again in the same strained, unsure voice that I had never heard from the black haired teen before.

And quite frankly it didn't suit him at all.

"Envy… why do it? Why go that far just for some pills? Give into _his_ sick… sick ways..."

I asked at a loss, crawling over to his bed lying beside him, both of us side by side just staring at the ceiling as though it was a fascinating piece of work...

Which, by the way, it wasn't.

"The same reason you used to slit up your body... the same reason I used to slit up my body. I can't handle the pain, a when they took my knives... when they brought me here Doll... I was messed up. Really badly. Because I couldn't handle it, and I no longer had a way to escape. I used to have knives... then all of sudden all I had were these stupid pills that didn't work worth shit."

I had to agree with him on that point, those pills didn't work. Nothing here worked and everything just seemed so much worse when you knew you couldn't escape it. Like a prison filled to the brim with misery.

Feel my angst.

Envy took a sigh before going on with his explanation for his actions.

"I had to stop it... Adam gave me a way out. It wasn't a good way, it still isn't a good way but it beats the hell out of staying up at all hours listening to a voice telling you bad things about yourself, recounting every bad thing you've ever done and mocking you with it. The pills make it stop, and if being Adams sex slave is the only way to get them... then so be it… We're all going to die someday anyways……. I suppose that makes me weak huh?"

He asked, turning his head to look at me. Electric blue eyes piercing into my bright green ones with a question.

I could have laughed really. Did he actually fucking think I would suddenly hate him for what he does? Hell if anything I could sympathize... though I'm not exactly sure if I would ever go that far…

The mere thought of Adams hands on my body again made me want to scream and break down in tears.

Besides I'm just as screwed up as him... worse considering I had eight illnesses to his four.

I shot him a smile, and grasped his hand leaning my head on his shoulder.

"Well, if you are weak your not alone in it Env! I don't know how I'd get by without you."

We broke into giggles then and I'm quite sure that if anyone had been standing outside to witness our transformation from crying heaps an hour ago to giggling lumps now they would have surely thought we belonged exactly where we were, locked up in our nice asylum room.

"Yeah! Were all messes here!"

Envy stated catching his breath, and squeezing my hand.

_You are all messed up….. you sick abominations…. You and your friend are both sick whores…_

"Shut up… Not you…"

I added once more having a little outbreak at the voice... who for the love of god wouldn't leave me alone for six fucking seconds.

Not even one second for that matter.

Envy just nodded, moving away from me and digging under his bed.

Well… not under his bed exactly, more like the part where the mattress met the bedspring, or something along those lines... I don't intend to know about carpentry and I'm not about to try.

He pulled himself back up a moment later with a small bag full of many different brightly colored pills in all shapes and sizes. There must have been about twenty of them in the small plastic case, give or take one or two.

"Here, take this..."

Envy stated handing me one small white pill, and taking out its twin, popping it into his mouth and swallowing it.

I would have asked what it was, but I was so beyond caring at the moment so I just popped the damn thing in my mouth as well and swallowed it, Envy probably would have made me take it anyways.

"Are those the ones you got from…..."

I didn't really know how to say it.. _are those the pills you got from letting Adam fuck you through a wall? _

That didn't sound right, or nice in my own mind so I knew perfectly well they wouldn't sound good out loud.

"Yeah.."

Was the only reply I got, and I could practically feel the tense-ness coming over the room again. I hated being tense around Envy.. it didn't suit us correctly. Being tense was saved for when you were around people you couldn't fully or truly be yourself around.

Like my family….

"Why did they name you Envy? I mean.. your real name is Lance right?"

I asked quickly, switching the subject and asking a question that I had been wondering about but never fully thought was worth discussing.

He laughed and the mood instantly lightened back to the airy, idiocy we were used to by now.

And we liked it that way, thank you very much.

"Because when I first came here I had this issue of comparing myself to everything. Like say, I would point at a random nurse and state _I wish I had his butt_ or just another patient with less problems and id be all _god I wish I was less fucked up like that guy over there_. Yep! It got me known, and thus got me my name. But I liked it none-the-less. It suited me."

I tried to picture Envy sitting in a chair and sulking about how someone had a better butt then him, and how he wanted it. He wanted the butt! I laughed a bit to myself, that sounded exactly like something he would do.

"So what about Rage then huh? What's his story?"

I asked, deciding now that we were on the subject mid-as-well get everyone I knew out of the way. So then at least I won't be so clue-less as to their histories.

Envy smirked, turning on his side so we were face to face on the bed, acting honestly like we were little girls at a sleepover exposing dark secrets, like for instance ''guess who Maggy kissed last night '_giggle, giggle, giggle'_'.

Pathetic? Were in an asylum.. were _supposed_ to be pathetic.

"Rage, formally known as Steve. He has a bad-ass conduct disorder. His father, my father's brother, was abusive toward him and his mother and such. And it just pissed Rage off. After that it got to the point where everything began to piss him off and he'd lash out for any and every reason possible. He ended up killing his father one night, not that the man didn't deserve it though. They judging it as temporary insanity and threw him in here with me. For like, the first six months though he would glare at everyone who so much as looked at him, earning him his 'touch me and die' reputation and the name Rage."

I frowned a bit at that, so he was abused when he was little.. I never really would have guessed. He didn't act like it, you always expected kids who were abused to sort of close up and become .. well.. become like me.

But that just proved a whole other thought wrong. No matter what happened to you no one could predict the way you'd end up. If they tried, they'd just be wrong because in the end the human brain will do as it wants, not as it's suppose to do.

I mean look at me. My family is poor, true, but there still the perfect family. Mom and dad, married and in love, five boys who are all smart, successful, and just basically good people. (even though I hated them all to the core). One daughter, to whom will no doubt succeed in whatever she chooses. A perfect family, full of love.

And then there was me. The sort of shadow in the Weasley's light. I just didn't seem to fit with any of them, I never had really.. And you'd expect to turn out perfect like all the others right?

Wrong. I'm in an asylum with eight mental illnesses that are slowly getting worse. I'm more far from 'fitting in' now then ever.

And I didn't care.

Just goes to show how wrong you would be to stereotype someone by their family or how they grew up.

What's even funnier is that I care more about the fact that I would have never thought of Rage getting abused, then I did that he killed his father.

Though, I agree with Envy, in saying that the man probably deserved it.

But that was so far beside the point its not even funny... I really need to stop ranting off on weird subjects or else my poor mind will up and leave me.

"What about Cin? Cinnamon. How'd he get that name?"

Envy smirked again, a wry grin like something you'd see off that cat in the muggle children's book Alice in Wonderland. What was it now.. treasure cat?

Something along those lines.

"You like Cin don't you Dolli?"

"No."

I protested pathetically, just proving how bad a liar I really was. In truth … I may have had a small thing for the honey eyed patient… just a small one..

Ok.. a big one. Happy now?

I blushed horribly causing Envy to break into a hysterical fit of giggles. Which only served to darken my face from a light strawberry color, right down to cherry red.

Ew,… I hate food .. the thought... disturbing.

"You know he likes you too right? You're his little baby doll."

Electric blue eyes showed with vast amusement as he pointed to the heart that he had drawn on my arm, Cin's scribbled words standing out perfectly against it.

Considering I had taken to redrawing it everyday to keep it from fading..

"Shut up and answer my question will you.."

I snapped, though completely unable to get rid of the smile that had crept onto my face. So.. maybe I fancied the thought of Cin liking me. Who's business was it but mine anyways.

Why did Fred all of a sudden come to mind? Its not like he had any business in my love affairs... or lack of for that matter.

I hated him.. plaguing my mind even when he was so far away… how dare he...

Jerk.

"Alright, god. Pushy aren't we?"

Envy sighed, kissing my cheek before taking a breath no doubt about to sink into another lovely tale of why it was Cin was Cin.

"Cinnamon, a.k.a Darrien, had a multiple personality disorder when he first came here. Which isn't surprising if you ever get the not-so-pleasant chance to meet his father."

I saw the black haired teen cringe at that.

"Anyways, he'd be calm one minute and the next he'd go ballistic and be as bad as Rage. Which got him his name, because Cinnamon can be sweet in one thing, and mad spicy in another. He's gotten over that now though. Shame really, it was funny watching him carry on a conversation with himself. Mind you, we have no right to talk. Look at us with our voices and the conversation we would have huh?"

That broke us into another fit of insane giggles.

Note how I underlined the word insane.

"No doubt. You should have seen the look on my brothers face when I would suddenly say something out of the blue to myself, and carry out mini conversations. It was priceless."

I stated, still laughing.

I swear if I didn't know better id say I was flat-out drunk.

"Envy… I know this is a weird question... but... how? How did you get Adam to give you pills anyways… where did you even hear about it?"

He sighed, coming out of his laughter high and regarded the question for a moment.

"I heard about it the same way as you, from other patients. And at first I though that it was disgusting and wrong. Why would anyone sink that low? And after he raped me like he did you, I just thought of it as sicker to ever go to him for anything."

Envy frowned a bit at the ceiling, before turning his eyes back to me. As if trying to remember the exact way he asked Adam for his... services...

"But, as I said... it just became too much for me to handle. So one night, I threw on a loose robe over my nude self and went in search of Satan, I found him just sitting in the stupid nurse's office and I just basically dropped the robe kneeled before him and proclaimed that I wanted pills. And VWA-LA! I'm his sex slave, he gets me drugs. Simple as that."

He just shrugged, scooting back into my side in silence.

It was weird the way he spoke of it… as if it were nothing but mere business. A state of normal affairs.

It was quite unnerving actually.

I suppose that was why Adam got away with all his raping and abuse of patients. Because they needed him.

It was sick the way he could use someone's illness for his own personal entertainment. Like we were nothing but puppets and manikins made specifically for his use.

Sicko perv.

"What's going on here?"

Cin stated from the doorway that he had just promptly thrown open, god forbid him or Rage knock, finding me and Envy on the same bed hand entwined foreheads pressed together in silent thought.

That must have been a weird scene huh?

Envy just smirked glaring once at the two elder males in the door way, before wrapping an arm around my waits and pulling me right up against him.

"Didn't you know? Were cheating on you two with each other. Doll is so pretty naked..."

I blushed fiercely all the while trying to hold my own laugh in on their shocked faces. Even more so when Envy licked my cheek.

They had obviously not expected that answer, they knew it was a lie of course but hell, we had nothing better to do then play along with it.

"Well I don't know if me and Rage are too happy with that."

Cin stated in mock pain, shooting a look at me, playful wickedness dancing through his eyes.

It was a mere second before both, Cinnamon and Rage had flung themselves on top of us,. Tickling me and Envy nearly into tears.

So, maybe asylum life wasn't all that bad…. Well … it wasn't bad so long as I had these three.

"So still cheating on us? Bad Envy, playing poor Rage and trying to steal Doll away from me. I'm hurt…"

Cin pouted, casting me a wink.

Why did he always do that? I don't fancy turning the color of a ripe cherry.

"Yeah, yeah. Stop acting like toddlers and come on. Adam will come get us if were late for dinner."

Rage stated, done with his tickle torture for the moment and getting to his feet, pulling Envy up beside him.

They really did fit...Envy and Rage…

A slight chill of discomfort and fear shot through me at the mere mention of Adams name, something that did not go unnoticed by Cin as he, himself was pulling me to my feet from my lovely resting spot on Envy's bed.

Eh, I suppose I was going to get tremors every time he was mentioned then huh? Bad habit that…. What if someone like Bick were to notice? Adam would be furious.. I don't even want to think of what he would do to me if that happened.

"Hey, you alright baby doll?"

"Yeah."

I stated, sending a smile into the knowing face Cin gave me. He knew I was lying.. they all did. But then who was ok inside an asylum?

If we were ok, we wouldn't be here.

"Wonderful then, shall we go and force down slop so we can smoke already. I'm going to fucking kill something if I don't get a cigarette soon."

Rage sighed, pushing himself out the door in a fit or irritation, obviously not having recovered from the recent activities of visiting day yet.

Joy.

Cin just shook his head, kissed me on the cheek and walked out behind him, me and Envy bringing up the rear on our way to the ghastly kitchen of slime.

"How that voice in your head?"

Envy asked me, and for a minute I was left to wonder why the hell he was asking. This could have either been my severe lack of the ability to pay attention, or just for the fact that I was, indeed, insane because I had completely forgotten about that pill he gave me just over an hour ago.

"Its perfect.. I haven't heard it at all.."

I mumbled out with a smile, almost unwilling to believe it.

It wasn't speaking… it was like it wasn't even there..

Bliss. Sheer and utter bliss. I was almost screaming in joy at the thought, of being able to think without criticism.

Maybe it was worth it, to have these pills…. To go to Adam like a pet of some kind, doing every sick favor he asked of you for these moments of peace.

Maybe….

-------------------

There we have it!Is Ron really so desperate as to become a sex slave for pills?  
Who knows? ''evil cackle''  
MWA HA HA!!

Alas, due to all the feedback I got from my question in the last Chapter I have decided NOT to do full chapters over in Fred's pov, rather just certain bits and pieces of chapters that you guys mentioned you'd like to see.  
Sound fair? Good! Its less work for me anyways.

When will the first special chapter be coming out?  
You will never know…. Well.. at least not until I post it!

Reviews make me happy!!

Much love  
-Elixier


	14. Chapter 14

Broken Beyond Compare

Behold!!! Chapter fourteen is up at last!  
''dances a dance of victory''

Anyways, I know this one was a bit later in coming but hey, give me a break my dears, I haven't had much time on the computer thanks to my lovely and idiotic elder cousin. **D:**  
Joyous Day!

I hope you all enjoy it none-the-less!

-------------------

Chapter 14

-------------------

"It's fucking freezing."

I moaned pathetically, pulling the leather jacket Envy had given me further around myself in a desperate and failed attempt to keep what little body warmth I had left around me.

We were in our so called 'gym class'… whatever the fuck that was. I had been informed that it was some weirdo muggle class that they made students take to get exercise.

Seemed like a waste of time to me. Even more so when this 'gym' included walking around the huge courtyard of the asylum in cold weather.

Very cold weather.

"You know I was never fond of the stale air in the asylum but it's a hall of a lot better then this."

Envy stated with just as much of a whine in his voice. We were joined at the hips me and him, trying to stay warm and just naturally because that's the way we were. Envy and Doll, bestfriends, secret keepers, joined permanently at the hip bone.

Plain and Simple.

It had been a week and a half since the horrors of the night Adam truly showed how much power he had, and the face off with my family. Luckily however, it would still be another five days before I had to lay eyes on Fred, Bill or any of them again.

Even luckier still I had not had a run in with Adam since that night.

This could be because I was just having a lucky streak (not likely), or it could be because me and Envy had pushed our beds together and now slept in one gigantic bed, and the fact that we often bullied our two elder group members into sneaking out of their own rooms and sleeping in with us as well.

We said it was for protection. But as Envy pointed out we truly did want them there for more then that simple reason.

Though I would never, ever admit it.

_It's because you fell for that sicko patient didn't you Doll? Stupid… stupid child…_

Eh. And without those pills Env had the voice made a triumphant return, mocking me twice as much for the fact that I had gotten rid of it for a few, blissful, days.

Dumbass thing…….

"Ah stop complaining you two. Its not so bad, better then being stuck inside all the time right?"

Cin remarked from where he and Rage walked behind us, probably having grown tired of the past hour we spent complaining about how we could no longer feel our noses.

Or any other part of our body for that matter.

"Yeah, we'll if you two are so deathly toasty why don't you bring your heated asses up here and warm us up then?"

Envy snapped back, the icy weather having done eaten any sign of happiness away from him, leaving a very cranky teenager in its midst.

And we took cranky serious here. Because when a 'normal' person got cranky you just had to worry about a bad mood and getting snapped at. When an insane person got cranky however, you had to worry about getting bludgered to death with a frying pan.

Because insane people don't do cranky well.

"Sounds like a plan."

Cin stated after he and Rage shared this weird look with one another as if they were dearly pleased about something. No later then a second more Envy was firmly wrapped into his cousins arms and I was pulled in Cin's.

Not a bad place at all.

"Warmer?"

"A bit."

I answered, leaning my head into his shoulder feeling my very low body temperature rise a few degrees.

Thankfully.

"You know, they take us gallivanting about in this weather, yet they have the nerve to call us the crazy ones. Ironic, no?"

Rage put out with a shot of instant dislike.

I don't really think he minded the cold, I just think that he really hated the guards at this place, thus any reason to be pissed off at them suited him just fine.

"Shut up."

Envy moaned pathetically, half muffled as his face was buried into his lover's jacket.

Thus we continued a walk through a very cold hell in silence, until we were blessedly taken back into the warm confines of the asylum.

Though it wasn't ideal, at least it was warm… if a little stale aired and potentially dangerous.

Underline potentially.

"You know the reason why most muggles are highly un-evolved is because of classes like gym."

Rage stated bluntly leaning at the top of me and Envy's now conjoined beds.

Cin sniggered but agreed, I just shook my head at both of them and went back to drawing in the leather journal they gave us.

Now, they had pointedly stated that this book was to write our emotions and self-expressions in (yeah right…..), So I supposed drawing endless, and well done, pictures of graveyards and death was a form of self-expression.

It was my self… expressing how truly fucked up I was through pictures of demented things.

Self-expression if there ever was a thing.

_You're pathetic. I hope they lock you in that padded white room… leave you in there to rot for all eternity…_

I hope you go to hell.

"We like gym."

I fell off the side of the bed at the unexpected voice that drifted lightly in through the half open door, landing not-so-gracefully into Cin's lap as he was nestled on the floor reading some book or other.

I found that with the loving actions of the past weeks in this hell house I had become at least six times more jumpy then I was when I was living with my parents and the demons that I call siblings.

Joy.

"Don't do that… Sorry Cin."

I snapped at the two extremely thin forms of Skin and Bones who were leaning in the doorway with looks of silent thought. They had a few bruises though… weird that….

We were 'allowed' to have bruises in the asylum.

Which in my opinion was a stupid rule as I had walked around with a gigantic purple mark on the side of my face for a week and a half, and the only one who gave a shit about it was Bick.

Annoyance the counselor was…

I received nothing but a kiss on the cheek from Cin as a way of telling me it was fine.

Completely fine that I probably bruised his legs with my pathetically bony ass.

_Corpse… rot……. Rot in your grave…_

Thank you for speculating, stupid ass schizo…whatever…

"You've gained a bit of weight Doll… we cant see that much of your collar bone anymore."

The taller one of the twins spoke.. I presumed it to be Bones, giving me a weird lusty look mixed with a bit of disgust.

As if my gaining a little weight so I didn't look like a corpse was upsetting to them.

"You used to be so very pretty to. You should stop eating again. You were fucking gorgeous when you first arrived."

Skin spoke then and I could viciously feel my face heat up.

Why did people insist on making me blush?

"He's still fucking gorgeous. I personally don't fancy a living skeleton walking about. But that's just me."

Cin stated, jumping to my defense immediately and sending me another of those, to die for, winks.

And here comes my super red blush, reserved only for that glory that is Cin!

I think it is seriously safe to say that my crush on the dark skinned boy had increased significantly since I arrived. Almost to the point where I was practically clinging to him.

He didn't seem to mind it however, and Envy thought it was deathly funny.

"Were the fuck did you two get the bruises?"

Rage asked not sounding to interested in it at all, far more into the fact that his hand was doing god-know-what under his little cousins shirt.

"Adam wanted to play rough. No big, we got double the pills for his work."

Bones answered simply and with no shame. That bugged me highly. There were tons of boys in this asylum who willingly sold themselves to that sick bastard daily, yet they all seemed to think it was just 'normal' and nothing to worry about.

Even thinking of Adam made me want to kill myself.. I had no clue how they did it…

And, upon seeing the marks on the twins before me… I didn't really want to have a clue.

They just shrugged then, shooting me one last look with a smirk before slipping off to inflicted drug induced sleep upon themselves with their 'hard earned' drugs.

Joy.

"Those two freak me out a bit."

I stated bluntly, more to Cin then the other two as by the way their lips were locked I seriously doubted Id get an answer.

"A lot of people hate them. They were rich before they came here.. snobs if there ever was a pair, they think anyone over the weight of eighty is fat and ugly. And from what I hear they had their eyes on you, but then you started looking like a human and they got their asses in a twist."

Cin replied, wrapping and arm around my waist and pulling me to his side, flicking his book shut and throwing it off to a corner.

"I wouldn't worry about them. Their harmless really, just a bit of a pain."

"You're telling me…. Don't those two ever fucking come up for air."

I smirked, nodding my head toward the brunette and the black haired teen, fully fighting the urge to giggle.

Yes. Giggle. Envy is turning me into a freakin girl I swear.

"They suck oxygen out of each other, like leeches."

That did make me beak into a fit of uncontained giggles. Which in turn caused Cin to laugh because of quote 'how cute I looked'. Which drew the attention of our leech like friends, which in turn ended up with both me and Cin getting hit with a pillow.

Thus started a pillow war.

And I have no idea how it ended up with me and Envy being tackled into the mattress by the elder boys, but no one was about to complain.

And I myself kind of liked having Cin on top of me…. But I wasn't even going to think about that least I have more bad mental images and feed the voice tons of things to use against me in the near future.

Jerk that he was.

It would have probably lasted awhile at that, but as always whenever fun rears its ugly head some horrid figment of my life will come with a battering ram to blow it right back to hell.

The figment in question, was none other then Dr. Shelly.

So the bug lady had returned… and at the worst possible time.

That bitch.

"Well I see you lot are in good spirits! Good to see, very good indeed. If I may just steal Mr. Weasley from you for just a bit."

She stated, turning her once more over-make up'ed face into a horrible grin. She had left her brown hair down today instead of pinning it up.. I don't know why though as it only served to make her look more horrid then usual.

The funny part was is that it took me a whole six minutes to remember who the fuck 'Mr. Weasley' was.

How fucking sad is that? I guess I was just so used to being dubbed Doll and nothing more, that I forgot my real name.

That makes me even more insane doesn't it? Or maybe it just makes me stupid.

_You're insane and stupid… you pathetic child.. horrible..horrible.. boy…_

Those pills Envy used to have are looking better by the minute.

I detangled myself from the mass of blankets I had somehow got knotted into and slipped out from underneath Cin, to whom was looking at the bug lady as if he wished she were nonexistent.

Rage looked no better. Infact I had the sneaking suspicion that he was wishing she really was a bug. That way he could crush her ugly ass under his boot.

Good imagery, shame it would do me no good.

She was still smiling away however, painted red mouth grinning like mad from the doorway, even more so when she lead me out of the room with some great sense of pride dripping off her,

"I see you're making friends and all. See, I told your parents this would be good for you."

Well, at least now we know where the pride was coming from.

Twit.

I didn't answer her, settling to sink into my usual routine when I dealt with people I strongly dislike, which would be to ignore them until they left me the fuck alone. I had done it all my life with Bill and the twins.

And I highly doubt this lady could be much worse then them, trust me.

She led me into private, small off-white room. Big surprise there. I supposed it was used for the purpose of outside psychiatrist visits.

That struck a nerve in my mind… it was strange really how I was suddenly considering everything outside the asylum as 'out there'. It's almost like I had split my own little world in two. Half was the world outside the white walls that I more or less had nothing to do with anymore, and the other half was in here. With Envy, Rage, and Cin… and pills and pokes, and of course Adam.

Both sides had to have a bad part I suppose. On the outside part everyone was sane which immediately meant that I was totally casted out, and on this side there was Adam.

I'm not really sure which half got the worse deal…..

"Ronald are you listening to me?"

"Wha..?"

I asked, turning my eyes onto her, so obviously not listening to a damn word she had spoken.

Not that I would miss much really. Bick was more interesting then this lady and he spoke in monotone.

"I asked how you were my dear. I've spoken to your therapist and he says that you have not at all improved. Also…"

Dr. Shelly hesitated for a moment, as if she was going over what she was about to say in here mind.. debating weather or not she really wanted to say it at all.

I wished she wouldn't.

But then, my wishes were never granted.

"I was informed about what happened to you a week back. I'm so sorry dear….. I just want you to know that you don't have to be scared. I'm here for you and if y0ou can just tell me who hurt you I promise they won't touch you again."

Knew that was coming.

I gave her a flat look, and I was more then sure my dead green eyes were laced with utter irritation. Why the hell did people insist on asking me that twenty-four seven? That's all I've heard from Bick the past week and a half and, mind you, If I didn't tell him what the hell makes this woman think ill tell her?

Does she think I like her better then Dr. Bick? She would have to be pretty dense to think something like that.

_Tell them….. tell them all what a whore you are.. go ahead.. tell.. tell.. you sick pathetic boy…_

"Shut up."

I screamed furiously, clapping my hands over my ears.

"If I wanted your input I would have asked not just crawl back into your hell pit and leave me alone."

God I hated that thing. For some reason it seemed to keep adjusting in volume. Loud at times and then barley audible at others.

Both annoying and unnerving that.

"I see that you .. voice has not relented then huh?"

I was dearly tempted to say _'gee ya think?' _But bit my tongue and sunk further into my chair. After all this lady was in control of my pill intake.

And I desperately didn't want to force anymore of those useless things down then I already had to in a day.

Seriously.

Three, horribly boring and eventless hours of staring at the ceiling later, I was released by the bug lady from the tiny hell-case and escorted, by some body-builder nurse, back to my room.

And when I say body builder, I mean man with enough muscles to bend steal. No joke.

He gave me the same creepy feeling as Adam, and I couldn't help but notice him staring at me out of the corner of his eye.

Was I freaking out? Wouldn't you? The only thing that was running through my sanity void mind at that moment was what I would do if he tried to push me into a facility closet.

Probably freeze up like a freaking snowman and cry pathetically exactly like last time.

I'm so weak it's not funny.

He didn't push me into any dark closets though, which I was very thankful for, but lead me back to my room in one un-touched piece. Thank all gods.

Cin was waiting for me it seemed, Envy and Rage however were no where to be seen.

"Where's the love birds?"

I asked, feeling much lighter now that I was in the presence of the honey eyed male once more.

I think I just felt my crush increase by sixty notches. …… That was one of the stupidest thoughts that ran through my head so far today.

I really an turning into some sort of freaked out school girl aren't I? Damn you Env….

"The love birds, if you will, are off in my room fucking like bunnies. Or, for that matter, heroine addicted hamsters."

Cin laughed a bit and shot me a playful smile, patting the spot next to him, which I immediately jumped to.

"I should have known that huh?"

I replied giving him one of my own smiles before sinking back into the state of woe-be-gone depression that I had been feeling for the past two hours.

Yes, just like the many other medicines they gave me the one for my mood swings didn't work either.

"Hey there Baby Doll, what's got you all upset then?"

Cin asked gently, scooting closer to me and wrapping a firm arm around my shoulder, kiss placed right upon my forehead.

This guy was the comfort god, and I couldn't help but snuggle into his embrace promptly placing my head on his shoulder.

After all, if a someone like him was putting their arms around you, you would be snuggling as well. He was gorgeous, nice, loving, and so many other things that I couldn't find words for.

I think I'm falling in love. Really.

"I don't know.. its just they make me feel like shit.. all these doctors poking around and trying to get into my brain. Telling me flat out how fucked up I am. That really never use to phase me but lately.. never mind. I'm just going to come off really dumb to you."

I finished horribly, a tint of red appearing on my cheeks at how stupid I sounded even to myself.

Unfortunately, Cin was never one to give up so easily. I guess I admired him for that.. he was far stronger then I could ever be.

"Nope, that just wont do Doll, What were you going to say? And you know you better tell me.. or ill tickle you until you cry."

He poked me playfully in the side as if to point out that he would indeed carry out that threat.

I relented.

"It's just.. You guys make me feel like I'm normal. You're the first real people I've been around that didn't whisper, or tip toe around me or send me worried glances or anything else of the sort. You guys treat me like I'm a human instead of some dying kitten that should be hovered over all the time. And then, the doctors show up and remind me that I'm just a stupid, weak person locked up in an asylum because I was dumb enough to get caught…… I just… It just makes me feel all depressed again. .. Stupid huh?"

I buried my face in his should again, trying to fight back tears that I didn't even know were coming out. So this is were I end up huh? Crying like a baby in a complete and horrid show of weakness right in front of Cin, of all people.

Joyous.

He shifted a bit, pulling me into his lap without a moment's hesitation and leaning his head gently atop of my own. Even through my tears and unfounded feelings of helplessness I still had the grace to blush dark enough so that my face would greatly rival a tomato.

Ew… I don't even want to think about tomatoes right now.. bad imagery.

"That's not stupid at all, you know. We all feel like that sometimes, it comes with the territory of being in an asylum… the walls are imbedded with misery, its bound to take effect sooner or later."

Cin soothed, running a hand back and forth down my violently shaking back.

Just to let everyone know by the way, when you try not to cry it just makes you shake like a leaf and cry harder.

Shame I didn't know that sooner.

"And if it makes you feel any better pet. We never thought of you as insane or anything of the like. We all love you to death you know. We couldn't possibly get by without you Doll, and none of us want to try."

I smiled a bit, taking another drastic mood change, and lifted my head from his already wet shirt showing that I had cried a lot harder then I thought I originally had.

"Thanks Cin. I love you."

My face darkened to a deep red once I realized exactly what I had just said.

Why am I so stupid?

It wouldn't have been so bad if the words weren't backed up with sheer and utter emotion practically bleeding from each syllable.

That's nice Doll, real nice. Just go and confess your pathetic crush on him. Tell him exactly how much you like him and scare him off from your clingy stalker ways.

Perfect.. absolutely wonderf……….

Every thought was viciously tossed aside and forgotten when I felt Cin's lips connect with my own.

Now I heard people talk about their first kisses, mostly girls, and how they made you complete lose yourself in bliss, but I had never really believed it.

Until now.

My god I felt like I was drowning into Cin, which I had no problem with. I was so shocked actually that I didn't even realize I wasn't kissing him back until he started to pull away.

Not letting that happen.

I pulled him back and returned the kiss with twice as much eagerness.

Mood completely switched in a matter of seconds from slight depression to full-on joy, and Ill worry about how bad that makes my mood disorder later.

Even though I was lost in the glory that was Cin's lips I couldn't help but wonder why it was that the voice hadn't piped up to mock me for this.

I guess it was just one of those glorious, but rare times that even if the voice was speaking I couldn't be bothered to hear him.

-------------------

There we are loves. Now a lot of you may think that this chapter is pointless BUT, I'm here to inform you that its not.  
Cin is a huge character in this story, and his relationship with Doll is going to be a major part of the story line.  
So yes, it wasn't useless. Not at all.

I can tell you that Fred is not going to like it however.  
Infact, I think it will make him positively _mad. _

Reviews make me shriek with uncontained happiness.

Love you all  
-Elixier


	15. Chapter 15

Broken Beyond Compare

I know. I'm back to being late again huh?  
And as usual I have an excuse.  
I was in surgery and I am now in pain. ''Tear'' **D:**

But, I still got my hurting ass up and typed this for you all SO YOU BETTER LIKE IT.  
Or else I will sick evil mutant bunnies of doom on you to eat out your souls.  
MWA HA HA

Enjoy, loves.

-------------------

Chapter 15

-------------------

Shame it was that all good things came to an end isn't it?

Because just as I was nearly, completely sure I would die of happiness from this……… indescribable kiss, I was jerked rudely away from bliss when I heard a high-pitched scream from the doorway.

Needless to say it got our attention and me and Cin broke away instantly to look at whom had dared to interfere with our far to short moment of... kissing just seems like a weird word to put in this sentence but for the fact that my mind is still half in bliss it will just have to do.

There was Envy, no doubt the owner of the scream, doubled over in a fit of uncontained giggles, literally clinging onto Rage to keep standing. Said brunette himself had a very obvious smile on his face and a twinkle in his eye that promised some psycho events in the near future.

We adore Rage. Makes everything interesting, he does. Who knew a conduct disorder could be such good fun when you weren't fearing for your life.

"I knew it."

Envy managed to choke out between laughs, pointing a finger at us as though he had solved a divine puzzle of ultimate complication.

He was also managing to turn a nice shade of red and I was very sure he would pass out if he didn't pause to catch his breath soon enough.

Cin broke out into laughter after seeing our dear Envy fall to the ground still laughing like a maniac …. Which he was… as we all were.

I instantly felt my face heat up in a very profound blush, left to be the only one who didn't find this situation at all amusing. Infact now that bliss was gone and I was back to being a complete mental case. My emotion disorder took over once more and left me with the nearly overwhelming urge to cry and hide under the blankets of the conjoined beds.

Pathetic wasn't it?

_Your sick and disturbing…. Kissing a guy… and mental guy… your such a whore.. rot in hell burn with the flames…_

Thank you. You just managed to put my mood from bad to horrid.

Thank you much… asshole.

Cin slipped an arm around me being the first to notice my state of mental turmoil and pulled me flush against his side. I buried my face deep into his shoulder and proceeded to try to block out everything… just for the moment.

Envy would not allow that.

"Ahhh, I'm sorry Doll, I was just wondering when the two of you would get over yourselves and tell each other how much you adore the other and get on with it. Opening the door and finding you kissing was kinda like Christmas for me."

He stated by way of explanation drawing out a small smile from me once more proving that I had absolutely no mind to be mad at him.

He was my best friend after all. Not to mention that he was the only fucking reason I hadn't gone completely and totally insane……. So far.

"Yeah. We knew you two were meant from each other. Ever since the day you first met when I spent a sleepless night hearing about how 'adorable' the new kid was."

Rage added causing his dark skinned friend to throw a pillow at him.

I blushed.

"Basically."

Cin stated drawing me close protectively and glaring at Rage.. which was a brave move in my opinion but hell this was Cin. And nobody fucked with him.

"I've liked you for a long time and everyone was just waiting to see when I would ask you to be mine. You are mine now though correct."

He shot me this pathetic puppy dog pout, sending his left hand dancing along my bony side and putting me into a fit of freaked giggles.

Ticklish much?

_Sicko child.. your not his… you can never be.. because you aren't human… you're a sick creature from a lagoon of other pathetic creatures.._

Fuck. You.

"Of course I am."

I replied with a truly happy smile as I nuzzled my way into my boyfriend's neck once more.

Boyfriend…. A word I never thought would come out of my mouth… well .. mental mouth anyways as I didn't actually say it.

Thoughts are kind of like mental sayings anyways right?

Don't look at me like that.

"Good."

He kissed my forehead lovingly and for the moment I didn't care that I was a fucked up misery ridden teenager, or the fact that my family would all have minor mental breakdowns when they found out of me falling in love with a guy, who was a patient at the asylum, and who was a good three years older then me.

Did I say minor mental breakdown? I meant MEGA mental breakdowns.

"Your brothers wont be to happy with this when and if you tell them. I should honestly go have a chat with Fred."

Its almost as if he can read my mind I swear.

"Don't… don't bother with the twin from hell. Its not worth the effort. Besides visiting day is coming up again and I don't want to think about any of them until I have to."

I moaned pathetically breaking away from him and crawling up to lay near the middle of the bed we had constructed. We slept the same way each night, considering we had taken to pouting and such to make the elder ones come in a sleep with us. It was just another part of the lovely routine. Form left to right went Rage then Envy and me in the middle, with Cin behind me on the right.

It made for one hell of a tight fit but I didn't much mind being squished between Cin and Envy, made me feel far safer that way as well.

It was seconds before a weight settled behind me and two strong arms pulled me into a warm chest half a second before Envy was cuddled up against my other side with Rage behind him, one arm around his little cousin's waist and the other one resting across my thigh.

Rage was very touchy by the way, did I mention that. Not quit as touchy as Envy to whom like to be hooked to me at all times and Cin to whom was I was usually clinging to but when we slept or were just sitting around you could be damn sure that The god of anger issues had one arm around me and one arm around Envy.

He wasn't so bad. No one here really was as bad as they came off at first site, except maybe Skin and Bones as I was yet to know much about them and of course.. Adam.

But I'm not sure if 'bad' was the correct word for that sicko, pervert, freak of nature, evil, ass hole,… and a whole bunch of other insults I'm to tiered to think of.

Twisted might work better then bad….

"Night everyone. Oh and Doll we have this stupid monthly outing thing we do tomorrow and Adam will be breathing down our neck and such… stick close to us kay."

Envy warned pressing his forehead against mine, one of his arms moving to slip around my middle and I had to briefly wonder why it was that all of them seemed to like to wrap their arms around me and pull me close.

I don't have a problem with it Its not like their my brothers or anything ( in which case I would have a breakdown Because if the likes of Bill, Percy, or the twins dared to wrap their arms around me I would freak.) It just gives one a small moment of contemplation.

Very small…

What monthly outing? I honestly had no fucking clue as to what he was talking about but the medication had lovingly began to work and thus I was to tiered from the drugs to do anything but mumble a sound of conformation and sink into my usual coma-like state of sleep.

Yes I still had a sleeping disorder and I'm quite sure I would be wide fucking awake and peachy if the pills didn't knock my ass out.

Thankfully though, unlike many other nights, I actually slept the entire thing through until wake-up calls.

Which, in case you were wondering what the worse possible wake up cal could be, Its Adam barging into your goddamn room in the morning and telling you to wake up or else.

We were never fond of finding out what 'or else' might be, thus we got up. Except Rage and Cin to whom stayed in bed strictly to piss the head nurse off until Envy threatened them with castration.

And off into the morning ritual we were. First we got to shower !

YAY!

You know I once believed that taking a shower was like an escape. Having a cascade of hot water falling upon you tainting your skin red making all the scars harder to see, it was like fucking godsend.

Being here totally crushed that image.

Today was especially more weird as Envy kept breaking into mini fits of laughter over last nights events, which in turn made me break into a fit of laughter, which in the end caused us to get a fair amount of weird looks.

Lovely morning is it not?

_Did you have fun sleeping with your precious insane protector? You whore… he cant save you from yourself… no one can help you ….._

"Get dressed warm Dollie"

Envy ordered thrusting a black coat at me. No, it wasn't my coat but as I used it all the time it mid-as-well have been. In truth it was my lovely black-haired twin's coat… or one of them to be more precise.

Oh, and as a small little side note incase I forget to tell you. Envy is rich.. well his fucked up family is. And for him not to speak of the horrors they put him through when he was at home, they paid him one hell of an amount of shush money.

And when I say rich I don't mean a hundred galleons a week and all that good stuff. I mean over a thousand galleons plus a couple hundred in muggle money.

I think you can guess who it is that keeps us in supply of cigarettes.

"Why…. We don't have brave gym again today do we."

I asked, plainly about to have a fit over the fact that we to do the hell walk two days in a row.

He laughed at me and, being his usual 'lets be touching at all times' self, wrapped an arm around my waist and lead me to the beautiful lobby of our wing.

Just take out the word beautiful and that sentence would be fact.

I was quite surprised actually to see that everyone else in wing D was all coated up and waiting as well.

Then my dysfunction brain decided it was about time to 'clue me in' as to what the fuck was happening around me.

Which, mind you, isn't something it tends to do too often.

This must have been the 'monthly outing' thing Envy-kins informed me about when I was half asleep last night.

Yay for being told things when your drugged and tired.

"Where exactly are we going?"

"To this mall place that we always go to. Once a month the nurses take us out for a day so we can shop around for things we'd like to have, so long as there in the limits. And they think being around _normal_ society will help us in some way. It doesn't but we're not going to tell them that. Any excuse to leave prison is a good one."

A mall? What the fuck was that? I swear sometimes it sucks being a wizard. You had no clue what anything 'muggle-ish' was. I had only just learned what an air-conditioner was.

As they heated and cooled the asylum for the fact that we were located close to a muggle town and no one wished to draw attention. In my opinion though, the air-conditioner didn't work as it was usually dead cold in here at night.

"Hey."

Was the whispered welcome in my ear, the only warning I got before I was pulled into a chest behind me, light kisses placed on my cheek and everything.

Best greeting ever, by the way.

"Hey Cin. All ready to go to the mall thingy then I suppose."

I gave him a smile and a kiss ignoring the voice to whom was viciously throwing insults at me. He, however, was soft in volume. It seems to me every time I'm around Cin the voice cant be heard.

That boy was almost as good as those little white pills Env had… or did have before we took them all.

"Pretty much.. hey.."

What ever else he was going to say was killed by Adam's booming, flinch causing, voice as he informed every one to get a partner and walk in groups of two as we were about to leave. His blond hair standing out strikingly against the see of hats that everyone was wearing to escape the bitter cold that surly awaited us.

That was good really. Now I could see him more easily and thus knew exactly where he was. Made it all the easier to avoid him, it did.

Envy immediately broke out of Rage's arm and linked up with me, pulling me away from Cin right as I was getting comfy in his arms.

"Rage and Cin can be partners as they hate to shop. And there boring as well."

I heard two complaints behind me at the boring comment and promptly stuck out my tongue at the older boys.

Its truly amazing how fucking normal being around other crazy people makes you feel. Sure you know that deep down your all fucked up beyond words, but when your in a world filled with only people who are fucked up (nurses included), its like our all normal and all that sane shit….

"I just came to a conclusion. Were not crazy."

I stated out of nowhere turning to look seriously at Envy, Rage and Cin behind us as we made our way out the door and down the many stairs to the frigid outdoors.

"Everyone else is."

We all laughed at that, our breath making spirals of smoke into the air. Even the two guys before us, whose names I didn't know, burst into laughter at my genius words.

"Damn straight."

Envy piped, snuggling closer to my side both of us still in such a horrid fit of laughs that one of the nurses actually threatened to take us back to the asylum. A threat that was very quickly withdrawn once Rage had his say.

Like stated, One who has half a mind does not fuck with a mentally unstable criminal.

_Society will reject you…. You'll see…. Go now… to your little outing and see.. see what all the un-sick people take on you….. see….._

I wish the cold could numb brain cells as well as it numbed the rest of my fucking body. Then maybe I wouldn't have to hear that thing when I was 'trying' to be happy.

Wait… scratch that. Happy, doesn't fit the situation.

All in all we had an hours walk to the mall thingy we were going to from Needleburg, which left nearly every pathetic, non-exercising person in the line complaining. Which would be everyone with the exception of Cin, Rage, and two other elder males by the name of Matches and Twitch.

As you probably guessed Matches is here for playing with fire…. And destroying an entire building…. Twitch, .. well we don't know why he's here but he's constantly talking to walls and other inanimate objects, and he always twitches. Thus why he got the name.

Bones told me once that he used to be schizophrenic like me, and it just got out of hand. This left me to wonder if I would ever start talking to my journal or my bed. Which, when I thought about it wouldn't be that much of a change from where I was now.

I mean come on… I talk to my head. That cant be any more healthy then talking to a mattress now can it?

Once inside we were split into groups of six, all of which was paired up with not one, but two fucking nurses to escort us about like three year olds, all worrying that we'll bite some poor helpless normal person and give them our insanity.

Its like we have fucking rabies. EH, don't touch me or you'll catch my insane!!!!

Ridiculous.

Anyways our group consisted of Envy and Me, big surprise there, Rage, Cin, Skin, Bones, some male nurse to whose name I could care less about and to my upmost demise, Adam.

Joy.

He seemed to be sticking rather close to me as well, almost directly against my side. A fact in which my weakling mind chose to freeze up and left me unable to move… again.

You know, if there was every a real catastrophe going on I would be so screwed because at the first sign of danger while normal people process the order to 'run and save yourself' my body seems to process 'Oh look something bad is going to happen, lets stay here and find out what it feels like to get brutalized'.

Yeah, shows how much my mind cares about the rest of me.

Cin, my knight is slightly tarnished shiny armor, however noted this fact too and wasn't pleased as he and Adam were on the same grounds as were water and electricity.

Mix them, and someone was going to get hurt… badly.

He put himself right between me and Adam and chose to stay there and glare at the nurse at every given opportunity.

Love him to bits I do.

"So where are we going anyways?"

I decided to ask after Envy had fucking drug us half-way across the gigantic store filled mansion, with everyone else in tow. Funny really how the twins weren't complaining.

From what I had learned about Skin and Bones, they liked things their way and If they didn't get what they wanted they had fits. But I guess I was the only one who wasn't clued in as to where we were headed because everyone else seemed to either know, and were fine with it or not know, and didn't give much a shit.

"All in all we only need to hit one store that sells everything we need. No use in rampaging through the entire place looking for needless items."

This made sense, so I shut up and let Envy drag me into what seemed to be this multi-purpose store… thingy. I have no clue really, Muggle shops were weird to me. In the wizarding world we have shops for one specific thing. This shop had just about everything one could ever want scattered through it.

"Here we go, get some of these."

Envy instructed me, Rage, Cin, Skin, and Bones, quietly as the nurses were lurking just at the end of the aisle. I looked at what we were infront of and discovered a hell of a lot of picture frames.

Why would we need those? I would have loved to ask, really I would have however as it turned out there was no time to ask as the members of this particular group seemed to know exactly why we were getting them and piled at least fourteen into the ugly little basket Env was carrying before we all moved to another part of the store.

I quickly found that the nurses weren't going to follow us around the store but stand at the exit to make sure none of us attempted escape. I, for one, though this was stupid as along with many other things the store sold knives.

Which I desperately wanted.. I was attracted to them and the minute we crossed the aisle they were in I stopped dead and just stared at them.

I told you, I have a fascination with shiny things….

And, lucky me, that's exactly where we were headed.

"Make sure no one is coming."

Bones instructed and Cin and Rage immediately broke apart each to stand at one end of the aisle to make sure that there was, in fact, no one coming to disturb us.

Why we didn't want anyone seeing us however was answered when Envy broke open a package of extremely sharp and beautifully shimmering blades.

_You want them don't you…. Want your pretty saviors….. want them…_

"Envy."

I hissed softly, panic striking me a bit when I saw them start to slip the knives inside their coats and such. How they were fitting in there was beyond me, but that was the least of my concerns.

"Your going to get caught.. Harry told me all about muggle things that watch what you do in places like this.."

"Camera's. I know, but don't worry baby doll we have this place under wraps. The camera's don't point this way at this time of day and they don't have any metal detectors so don't worry."

Envy reassured, cracking open another box and handing me three knives out of it.

I just stood there like an idiot for about a minute. This was stealing.. and though I wanted it more then life.. it was wrong. Damn my parents for raising me to be good…. But that cant be blamed as they also raised me to be sane and you see how far that got them.

Skin noted this.

"Look, they locked us up. Every sane person locked us into the hell were living through, this is just taking a bit of payment for our pain.."

He said, uncaringly, opening up the jacket I was wearing and slipping the knives that had been given to me into a very large pocket on the inside of the loose fitting coat. So that how the blades were fitting in our jackets.. they had made special pockets for them.

I could just think of how my family would cringe when they found out that I was both insane and a criminal, as I slipped at least two more knives into the pocket before we made our way out of the aisle and to the other side of the store.

I was a bit.. twitchy to say the least. If we got caught I just knew we would be sent to whatever the hell solitary was. And, even though I had never been there. The horror stories from it were enough to make me not want to be there at all. Everything from group rape to serious beatings happened down in those dark lonely cells and I for one wanted no fucking part of it.

We were now in a hard candy isle and that basket Envy had was quickly getting filled to the brim with all sorts of sweets. Also the baskets Cin and Rage had were getting filled with the hard candies as well.

Skin and Bones were picking at the sugar and calorie free stuff near the end of the aisle or as Cinnamon put it "candiless candies."

"When you cant get a damn cigarette these things are like sex. And we cant always get cigarettes because strictly speaking their 'not allowed' so these are very necessary."

Envy explained to me shoving more candy then I was sure all four of us put together would never be able to eat into his little cart before topping it off with bags upon bags of chocolate.

It's a very good thing he was rich.

"What would you rather have. Sex or chocolate?"

It was a fucking pointless question, however it was funny as hell but then again, the anorexic twin snobs of the asylum were known for saying such random things.

"Both."

Cin stated with a charming smile and a wink to me.

"Mixed with alcohol."

Rage added.

"And a cigarette."

That was Envy and considering we were all saying something I though I should add my pathetic bit in.

"All at the same time in a motel room near France."

Skin was in hysterics after that and Rage clapped me on the back as if he was deathly proud of how he and the other four corrupted my sweet, innocent mind.

As if.

You were never sweet… or innocent you were born with s sickness that will slowly put you in your grave.

Yeah, I figured that. Now leave me alone.

"Hey."

A boy about me and Envy's age came up to us, black spiky hair streaked with some puke green color. He didn't go to the asylum, and that was painfully clear as the chains on his pants would never have been allowed.

"What's it like to be crazy?"

The malice in his voice made sure that it wasn't just a simple question but more of an insult, and it wasn't until this very moment that I noticed a lot of people were looking at us like we were some freak show for their holy amusement.

Needless to put in, I freaked out.

Staring people, and me just did not get along. I blame it on my mentality, my doctors blame it on my avoidant personality disorder. But then the doctors also believe that they can cure my 'illness', if you will, so their judgment is strictly unreliable.

Rage instantly went into a dangerous mode and, knowing the signs that someone was about to get seriously hurt, Cin grabbed hold of him and dragged him away to avoid bloodshed.

"What's it like to be sane?"

Envy asked with a fake polite smile, showing his obvious irritation as I sunk myself into a depression behind him.

"Because by the look of your outfit your far more insane then us. Did you know that you have on two different, but still equally ugly shoes. Yeah, incase you were wondering, that's not cool."

Bones added in, before steering the rest of us out of the aisle and away from the fuming teenage we had just insulted.

Was _this _suppose to make us feel better? Letting us go out into a society that treated us as if we had a contagious disease that made our skin glow neon and thus were worthy of their insults and stares.

Because incase they were wondering it didn't help us. And, by the way I felt and the looks on Envy and Skins face it was very clear that the only thing they were doing was making us worse.

-------------------

There we have it.This is another 'building chapter' as I like to call it. It had no real meaning to it and is just a bridge between one planned event and the next horrible thing I intend to inflict upon or asylum group.  
Well to next time my dears!! Reviews will the surgery-sick Elixier feel much much better! **:D**

Much love  
-Elixier


	16. Chapter 16

Broken Beyond Compare

Ok Now a lot of you have asked "what about Fred? **Are Fred and Ron still going to get together?** Ect..  
The answer is YES!! Fred and Ron will be together ( I would never abandon the glory that is weasleycest)  
And I know a few of you think Ron is in love with Cin and would never EVER think of being with anyone else.  
Yes again, Ron IS in love with Cin, because he feels Cin understands him and everything else a perfect boyfriend should. be.  
But things will happen and the plot will begin to unravel and soon.. soon my loves, you will see exactly why I'm doing this the way I am. **;D**

Yes. Fear not. FredxRon will RULE!! But, I have to carry out my mishaps and fucked up pieces along the way to make sure everything makes real damn sense.  
No worries.

Another question presented was '**why does Ron hate the Twins so much?"**  
Well, I was going off the book on this one dearies. Considering all the twins have put Ron through, and the fact that he basically hates everyone outside the asylum I thought it natural that those two would be at the top of his 'dislike' list.  
Fred especially, for the fact that he was responsible for most of the pranks and such pulled on our lovely Ronnie-boy.

All part of the complicated plot-line I've assembled but I assure you all, that it will make sense soon.

-------------------

Chapter 16

-------------------

I flicked absently at a long strand of damp red hair out of utter boredom as I waited for the hell moment to arrive.

It was Saturday, and the shopping trip we took yesterday was now over, yet still with us. Well.. me, Envy, and Rage. As me and my black haired friend were still beyond put-off by that freakish boys comment, and Rage was pissed that he hadn't been able to rip said boys insides out.

Cin, being the most mature of us, had gotten over it by now and busied himself with trying to drag me and Envy out of the pits of the sarcastic, morbid, depression we had thrown ourselves into.

However, yesterday did have a good point. The slits that lined my covered arms and legs bared witness to it. We had gotten our knives in without trouble. Yes, we were searched as we walked in, but Skin assured us that he had had his cousin charm all the coats we were wearing on one particular visit last year so no trace of what we hid could be found.

Which was very, very good news for the panicky, mentally unstable, freak that was me.

Anyways back to the knives. Yes we had gotten them in, which eased one of my fears and left me with another. What if we got caught cutting? They were bound to notice slits up our arms at some point no matter how daft the nurses were.

And Envy surprised me again.

"That's why we bought the picture frames Doll. See, they don't know we have the knives, thus if were caught they'll go after the one thing they think is responsible for the marks, witch would be the glass from the picture frame. So, they'll take the ugly things away thinking there smart and such and we'll still have the knives. Simple."

He truly never ceased to amaze me with these tactics. But, he had been here for about a year and a half so I guess he pretty much had the place wired. After all, you'd have too to keep yourself from ending up like the patients in Wing B.

I had never seen them, but I was told they were so far beyond help it was disturbing.

_You'll be there one day…. Right alongside all those who are as shattered and sick as you…_

Probably. But that's for me to worry about in a few years and not now. I have enough worries at the time thank you very much.

"Mr. Weasley."

My name was called, and the dreaded hell moment had arrived. Cin smiled at me and kissed my forehead promising to be waiting for me when I got back. Envy and Rage were already off dealing with their own hell.

Yes, it was visiting day.

And now I was left to walk the path to the art room where my family awaited to talk to me in soft whispers like I was dying and treat me like a complete outsider. Which, mind you, would be intensified by the events of the last visiting day.

To bad I couldn't get out of it huh?

_Your family deserves so much better, they shouldn't have to come here to see you all the time_.

"Oh like I want them to be here. Its not like I make them come now is it?"

I snapped back in a very bad mood, not caring for the life of me that the nurse who was leading me toward the art room for my visit was looking at me in an awkward way. As if making mental notes on what to tell Bick when he asked if I had gotten any more fucked up since my last visit with him two days ago.

Joy

_Yes, but they haven't a choice now do they? If they did not come to see you're fucked up self one would think they were bad parents…….. all because they had one fuck up child.._

"Is that so. Well maybe it's because you decided to fuck me up. Why the hell am I the one to fully blame here. I wouldn't even be here if it weren't for you….."

I was pissed and so far from happy it was hardly real, I didn't even notice that I had been lead into the art room and was now fully viewable from the mass amount of my family members while I carried on this lovely chat with the voice.

And seeing me talking to an evil being in my head has got to be reassuring to them, no?

I didn't even notice I was in the room until Charlie touched my shoulder.

Not a good thing, in case you were wondering. Here's a tip. Do not touch someone who is talking to themselves in an angry way and has eight mental illnesses.

"Do you mind?"

I snapped with hatred slapping his hand away and resisting the urge to waltz right back out of the room.

"I'm trying having a conversation with myself."

Yeah. I really had no right what-so-ever to question why it is I was in an asylum, did I?

No words greeted me from this and I was quite sure that was because they honestly didn't know what to say, and I was fine with this. Hell I was hoping they'd stay that way for the full two hours I had to be in here. The less chat, the better.

I was however dragged from my mental thoughts when I noted that someone was in a fit of laughter at the next table over.

As it turns out there was one extremely irritable looking elderly man seated at the table across from where a quite hysterical Envy sat in another of those fits of giggles we seem to be breaking into a lot.

"Seriously."

Envy stated calming himself down to the point of comprehensible speech, looking at Charlie with a forced serious expression that did not suit him at all.

"Butting in when someone is trying to carry on a decent society worth conversation with themselves. How rude."

That broke us both into a fit of laughter, it seems that his.. elderly visitor and my family didn't find this at all funny though as no one was sharing our amusement.

But then again they were sane, thus we have different view on humor. I think seeing someone fall off a cliff trying to fly would be amazingly funny, while most sane people would find that tragic.

Which is why we were laughing in the first place, because we lacked the ability to do or say anything that would be considered 'society worth'.

It wasn't until after that and when I had taken a seat as plainly far away from the rest of my bloodline as possible without actually leaving the table and going sit with Envy, that I noticed Harry and Hermione were present to visit as well.

The look on their faces showed that they were clearly trying to cover up shock. I for one found that even more funny, because some where in the depths of my mind I thought that they would have been warned about how I was before actually making the trip to see me.

Would have made things a bit easier for them as the site of me being … me was surly unnerving.

"Is that your grandfather?"

I asked Envy, ignoring my family and friends for the current time, having no wish to speak to them and besides I would chose to spend time with the black haired boy over all of them any day.

"No, my grandfather shot himself while hunting. Insanity seems to run in my blood.. Anyways. This is my butt-lure"

He put extra emphasis on butt-lure and spoke it as two words instead of one. Which made the elderly man frown and turn away from us as we broke into another hysterically insane fit of laughter. Drawing the attention of the nurses present all of whom were now watching us.

No doubt, wondering if they'd have to remove us from the room for being 'too crazy'.

"Is that like a fish lure?"

I asked remembering the weird muggle trinket dad had brought home about a year ago. A shiny little toy thing that people hung at the end of a string to catch fish with.

Stupid invention really.

"Exactly like a fish lure. But instead of getting ugly little scaly creatures that sleep with their eyes open, I draw in men."

The man looked even more affronted and was currently staring at us both with obvious distaste. Which we were fine with. I don't care if a _butt lure_ ever liked me in any form. So he can stare all he wished.

"How so? He's not shiny, he's not even colorful."

I managed out trying my best not to prove insanity by laughing again. I was failing in that task but then again I seemed to fail at everything lately so this wasn't new.

Feel the depression.

"Ahh yes, but see. He brings me money from my lovely, decent, and respectable parents…"

We had to take a break there and giggle as I knew well of Envy's parents and they were anything but decent and respectable.

"In turn that money attracts me guys all of whom want my kick-ass wealth."

"Did it get you any good men?"

"It got me Rage."

I nearly fell off the seat I was in, with that. Not because it in itself was funny, but because I had this weird mental image of a fish that looked like Rage biting onto a lure that looked like a very shiny Envy.

God I'm fucked up….

"How dare you speak of such un-graceful things before me. You un-thankful brat."

The butt lure had obviously reached his limit point and screamed directly at Envy, drawing the attention of the entire room. I could see both Skin and Bones out of the corner of my eye giggling madly.

Those two still remain to creep me out in more ways then one.

Envy snorted.

"Forgive me for being so _un-grateful_ towards my family, who not only made me this fucked up but also locked me up in here to become even more insane then I originally was. And for your information. I didn't ask you to be here, I don't even want you to be here, because quite frankly you annoy the hell out of me. Your job is to give me my money and you already did, thus you were staying here out of your own will. Don't like it? Leave. I have far better things to do then talk to the likes of you. Right Doll?"

"Right."

I confirmed as the black haired boy sent the elderly man an extremely evil smile as he waltzed himself out of the room in a fit on uncontained hatred, amidst the giggles of our fellow insane mates.

It seemed that only the patients were laughing at this which once more proved the point that we indeed had a different view on humor then those of whom have their mentality intact.

A nurse flew over immediately to escort Envy from the room, as once you were done with a visit you had to leave to make room for other visits. Which sucked for me because I for one wanted to talk to Envy for the full two hours rather then acknowledge my family what-so-ever.

"Your leaving me."

I accused sticking out my tongue at him in a very immature fashion. Earning nothing but another laugh.

"Aww don't worry Doll. You only have about an hour and forty-something minutes until you escape. Ill just go find your _boyfriend _and Rage and we'll all find a nice area to sit in and eat candy until you battle your way out. Love ya sweetie."

"I hate you so much."

He stuck out his tongue at me this time and disappeared around the corner, all but being dragged away by a nurse. Lucky him… why can't my family throw a fit and leave early?

_Because unlike you and your sick little friends your family is sane…_

"Says you."

I snorted at him, because if he thinks Fred and Bill are even remotely 'sane' he was more idiotic then I thought.

"Boyfriend?"

Harry, my mother, and Fred all stated the same question at the same time, all with different tones.

Harry sounded questioning as though he himself was mortally disbelieving that I could possibly like guys without him knowing about it. Mum sounded shocked because number 1, the thought of her baby boy with another guy was probably scarring and 2, she can now fully know that she will not be getting grandchildren from the likes of me. And Fred sounded pissed because he's always pissed know-a-days for reasons that everyone obviously doesn't want me to know.

Screw them.

"Yes, I suppose this would be a good time to inform you that I'm gay. Normally I would dodge this question and pretend to be straight like I used to, but I'm in an asylum and no longer give a shit about such things."

I think mum almost fainted.

Being blunt was the way to go. Not only do you get things over with fast but everyone present gapes like a fish. Great fun really.

While I let that sink into them I busied myself with looking around the room hoping to find something to fascinate myself with so I could further ignore the sea of red heads, the bushy brunette, and the green-eyed form of my very shocked former best friend.

Now, I loved Harry I really did. And he was still and always would be a good friend but he was no longer on the same level as Envy, Cin, and Rage were. Thus why he is now my 'former' best friend.

"So who is it?"

Fred, (whom I beginning to know by voice now, quite scary I assure you) stated with the same pissed off, bow to me for I am all powerful and I own you, attitude that's infected him since……….

Well since forever. Arrogant asshole….

"What's it to you?"

I valiantly tried to stop myself from sticking out my tongue at him, but I just had too. Immaturity seems to be a rather bad habit of mine and I for one did not intend to stop it anytime soon.

He looked affronted yet still mad for what ever reason. Something was greatly putting him off and it didn't look like something that would fade anytime soon.

This could mean nothing good.

But he was slightly scaring me at the moment because he was looking at me with a dire possessiveness in his eyes.

Freaked out? Very much so.

"You know Doll, you could take your family for a walk around the courtyard if you like. We have nurses buzzing about out there today as it's lovely, warm, and sunny."

A female nurse, whom we'd taken to calling Happy for her less-then-welcomed hyper, happy-go-lucky, everyday is wonderful, personality stated sending me a vibrant smile that made me want to gag.

I would have refused and informed her, again, that I do not now, nor will I ever enjoy the sun. However Hermione beat me to it.

"That would be lovely, I think we could all use air. Besides I don't suppose they let you out much.."

She noticed her mistake right away, going completely red and horrified.

"I didn't mean it like that…. I was just.. I had meant that…"

This was rather amusing. Seeing the bushy haired. Self-proclaimed smartest girl alive, trip over her words was something to be savored.

However, like most things with me, my amusement passed to become sever annoyance.

"Don't worry about it. Your right anyways, they don't let me out much. See, I'm a danger to society and myself, which is why they locked me up in here to begin with. They thought they could 'fix me'"

I stated getting up and walking away from them, as the mass troops got up and followed. All except my mum and dad, to whom were obviously still musing over the newly learned information about my sexuality.

The courtyard was a mile long curvy walkway, leading through tons of flowers and fountains that dotted the edges in more colors then I care to name. At the center there was a large circular fountain that had a copper statue of a smiling man.

I think the man looked perverted and creepy… like Adam. The owner, non-other then Mrs. Victoria Takken, thought the man looked sane and normal (at least that's what I've been told) when she chose the statue to put in here.

She was wrong in so many ways…..

The walk to the center fountain remained quite and thoughtful, until of course we got there and I took a seat on the edge the ugly little water spurting contraption and stared almost longingly into the crystalline liquid.

Shame it wasn't deep enough to drown yourself in. Would have worked anyways, as sure enough, there were nurses lurking close by watching my every move.. like a test experiment being observed.

Unnerving.

Thing started to unravel, as they always do around me.

"Its that guy with the dark skin and bushy red hair isn't it?"

Fred started in on me again, almost beyond determined that he would find out who this 'mystery boyfriend' was.

"What if it is? Why the hell do you care?"

I snapped back, fully ready for a fight with him should I need one, until something caught my eye.

Bill had jumped in and was currently scolding both me and Fred but I wasn't listening. My entire focus was on the head of spiky black hair and pale body that almost exactly matched mine, if not a tab bit bigger, and the not so lovely head of dirty blond hair and a tall muscular, menacing frame that could only belong to one person.

What the fuck was Envy doing talking to the psycho nurse?

Envy looked very uncomfortable though, and I could guess why, as Adams hand, that was trailing up his thigh, was being very persistent.

A few nods were exchanged .. like some sort of business meeting, before my best friends arm was seized and both disappeared from sight.

Chills started running up my spine and I immediately felt the urge to get sick once again. Praying that Envy wasn't doing what I thought he was.

"Ron… RON.."

"Wha…?"

I asked in a nearly inaudible voice, turning my attention know to all of my brothers, my sister, and my two friends all of whom were around me looking panicky.

The loss of color from my face and the sheer terror that probably was showing in my eyes was obviously worrying them.

"Can we do this next time.. I have to go.."

I stated awkwardly getting up form the spot and taking off in the opposite direction and plainly ignoring the calls from my still panicked family, as I broke off in a dire race to Catch Envy.

However both the lovely and freaked out Adam, and my friend seemed to have vanished, because I couldn't find them anywhere, and I dared not to look in any broom closets.

I had had enough of those things to last me the rest of my life.

As it were, the first person I ran into was Rage. And by 'ran into' I mean sped around a corner and had a full-on collision with.

"Doll? What the hell, Why are you wandering the halls? You're suppose to be visiting. You know what happened last time you were wandering alone."

He didn't look very happy, which was normal, but he looked even more put off at the moment and pulled me up by my arms, whilst firmly attaching me to his side and walking off.

Incase you were wondering, since my fiasco two Fridays ago They didn't fancy the idea of me being anywhere alone.

"I saw Envy.. with… '

I was cut between being out of breath and debating weather or not I should tell him.. I mean it was his cousin and his lover.. but.. I don't know. I don't even know why I still think about things, I should just shut my brain down for awhile and become stupid.

_You are stupid._

Nose out.

"With Adam. He's getting his pills….."

Well that solved one miraculous problem. He already knew, good news for me because I would have probably told him and I didn't fancy facing an angry Envy should he of wanted Rage not to know.

A flicker of disgust ran through me. Not about Envy, about Adam and how he continued using us as sexual pawns for his personal entertainment.

Asshole.

"Are you.. ok?"

This was awkward. I mean what the hell was I suppose to say to him? Oh, I'm sorry about that hey do you want me to keep you company while your lover and cousins off fucking a psycho for some drugs?

Yeah…… didn't sound like a pleasant conversation to me.

"I'm fine Doll. He does it one a month, I'm rather used to it by now."

Rage stated giving me a rather weird one armed hug, still waltzing about the hallways obviously looking for something. I don't really know what it was we were searching for, but with Rage you just go with the flow.

I must say though, that he sounded anything but used to it. Infact he sounded more homicidal then Bill did when he found out I got raped.

Ok… that may have been exaggerating a bit but it was pretty damn close.

"Well.. least I got my visiting time cute short huh?"

I said with a fake smile, trying to lighten the mood a bit. I was pleased however that I had avoided another week of long visiting time but knew, somewhere in the back of my mind that I would eventually pay for it..

_You will pay for it you sick child.. they make a trip they don't even want to take to see you, and you run off to find your whore of a friend……_

"Envy is not a whore."

_So someone makes him sell himself just like a whore would do? Stupid boy…_

"You know what no one fucking asked you, sink back into your hole and leave me alone for a fucking while."

"Someone isn't very happy I see."

Cin appeared out of nowhere and slung an arm around my shoulders, generally being his normal awesome self.

And the customary calm spread over us once again. Its like he carries some sort of divine air that makes us all feel better no matter the situation.

I looked up fully prepared to send him one of my very rare smiled when I stopped dead in my tracks.

"Your face.."

I stated clearly horrified, staring at the gigantic black bruise that lined his cheek. I also distinctly noted that Rage's ace darkened when he say it and it seemed like he was biting his tongue to keep form lashing out some evil comments.

Cin just shrugged and kissed my forehead as if this was nothing new. Which bothered me greatly as the mark not only looked painful, I know from experience that bruises on the face are no fun, bur he was acting like it wasn't even there.

"My dad gets pissed real easy, nothing big Baby Doll. Don't worry about ok?"

"Your dad did that to you?"

My level of horror just shot up thirty levels and I was suddenly hit with the urge to go and hug my dad, to whom would never hit me in any way.

_Yes he would……._

No he wouldn't. What the hell do you know?

Cin reassured me not to worry about it and any statement after that was cut off as we all entered my room, and my lovely honey eyed protector of sorts was informed as to the where-abouts of our dearest Envy!

We all kind of sank into a semi-silence after that. All eating hard candy, which by the way was the next best thing under cigarettes. We left for dinner which consisted of me not eating and Rage and Cin trying to force me too, the returned to my room to sit in silence once again.

They obviously didn't know what to say to me as I for one was completely thrown off by the way everyone just seemed 'ok' with Adam and his reign of terror.

Eventually Rage and Cin were escorted back to their room by a very persistent nurse to who obviously thought that them staying with us as they had been for awhile was unnecessary. Rage told me to tell Envy to come see him first thing in the morning before he was ushered out by that ugly gargoyle woman.

Did I mention that the nurses here suck because they really, really do.

Every hour that passed sent me into another wave of worry and depression. This shouldn't take that long should it? I mean he raped me in about twenty minutes to a half an hour this was taking all fucking day…..

It just wasn't normal.

A finally, after well over six hours of complete despair on my part Envy lolled himself into our room at about midnight, give or take a few minutes.

Like I said, I fail to pay attention to such things as time.

He looked sickened, tiered, dirty, and beyond ashamed. Not to mention smears of blood were clearly visible on his face and neck.

Here comes that sick feeling again.

He held up a bad chuck full of pills in all shapes and sizes, and tried to force a smile.

'I got our cure Doll. Now we wont have to hear the voices for a little while."

Neither of us could think of what to say after that I suppose so in the end we just ended up hugging each other like our lives depended on it, funny thing really that we didn't break into tears, as we usually started crying about everything.

Blame it on our emotional dysfunction.

Instead of crying we took out the beautiful and very shiny knives and just started slowly slitting ourselves up a bit more.

"You took forever….. I nearly died with worrying about you.."

I stated at last, looking up at the messy black head of hair that was sitting directly in front of me, he shot me a sad look and preceded to make a deep slit across the palm of his left hand, watching the red fluid trickle onto the floor for a moment before actually speaking.

"Adam had a bit more things planned then I expected. It doesn't matter, I got what I wanted and its over for now."

He said it in a strained voice as if he was fighting the urge to faint, which I could easily see as I wanted to faint myself and nothing had even happened to me. Yet.

He then took his knife and cut an identical slit into my right palm, clasping his own bleeding hand to mine in a very significant way.

In fact were we grasping each others hand like if we let go we'd fall into the dark abyss of our own minds. Which, mind you, was very possible being as we were insane.

"Till death do us part."

He stated as we both watched our blood mix and drip to the floor in front of us, somehow bonding us for all time. A solemn vow daring the horror of reality to rip us apart.

"Till death do us part."

I agreed knowing perfectly well those words were true.

-------------------

And another update finished!! YAY!!!!!!  
This one took me long I know, but its also one of the longest chapters in the story.  
This chapter was to help point out the strength in Envy and Doll's relationship as that too is a huge part of the plot.

Hope you all enjoyed it and I'm sorry I didn't get you a drabble this time **T-T**!

Much Love  
-Elixier


	17. Chapter 17

Broken Beyond Compare

Sorry this is more then just a little late.  
Me and inspiration have not been on likable terms lately! BUT I am working to change that!

Anyways here's the 17th installment of my mental (literally) fic! Ill try to get back on track with updating and all again as soon as is possible.

Enjoy loves!

-------------------

Chapter 17

-------------------

Something was clearly not correct with Envy. And I had the most horrid sinking sensation that Adam, in all his glory, didn't only screw my dear friend and send him on his way.

Because honestly what the hell kind of sex takes six fucking hours?

He wasn't acting like the hyper, a.d.h.d child he usually was and all his laughs were nearly hollow and forced. Which if you knew Envy just didn't work for him and scared you to itty bitty pieces.

And that was only one of my problems as here I was with a bag of nearly melted ice against Cin's face to compensate for the horridly swelling bruise his father had given him.

Which reminded me once again to make direly sure I gave my own father one hell of a hug for not being a schizophrenic meltdown.

Like I myself was….

"Why did he hit you?"

I asked for about the sixtieth time that day feeling more or less like I was talking to a goddamn goldfish for all the words I got out of him.

"We just don't get along. Damn Baby Doll you're persistent."

Cin stated with a laugh fully brushing my question off, again, and giving me an affectionate kiss on the forehead while promptly pulling me to his side as if to avoid any more questions.

"He shouldn't have hit you."

I mumbled proving myself to act as stubborn as a donkey. I had to pause for a moment after that waiting for the voice to throw some snide comment at me telling myself exactly how much of a donkey/ass I really was.

Pills idiot.

I had to remember that I couldn't hear the voice as Envy had practically shoved that little white pill down my throat a mere few hours ago.

I had denied it feeling guilty as hell for him doing something worse then sex just to get pills for me so I didn't really want to take it but if you think I'm stubborn you have never met the all mighty Envy.

If Envy wanted something, he got it dammit.

"Leave him alone Dollie, he'll never speak. You mid-as-well interrogate a door."

Rage supplied while I miserably sat in silence knowing he was perfectly correct. Somewhere in the back of my mind the statement that one day I might actually be talking to doors popped up but I firmly squished it.

Even without the voice I was still losing my mind.

Joy

"Darrien Vare, Dr. Bick will see you now."

I heard the most misery-laced groan from beside me before a kiss was promptly placed on my lips and Cin walked in the direction of the new preppy nurse that had just signed on today, no doubt going to have his two hour long session of listening to Bick drone on and on about things that I myself don't care to listen to and I seriously doubt anyone else does either.

Both Rage and Envy shifted uncomfortably now as if both were looking for an excuse to either run, and/or look normal. Both of which they were failing at, telling me instantly that they knew something I didn't.

TA-DA!!!!!

I didn't even try to be mentally surprised at that. Everyone knew something I didn't. It was like some game formed by the gods just to piss me off.

"Spill."

I stated eyeing them both and deciding at once that Envy would be more likely to tell me rather then Rage to whom could turn into a donkey from hell when irritated.

And besides me and Envy had sealed a deal of bonding in blood, the fresh would still stood out on my hand but was very much covered by the long sleeves of the black sweater that hung loosely around me.

Loose because it belonged at one point to Bill and he was at least a foot taller, and since I now had a lovely and most fun eating disorder, two if you wanted to get technical, it hung even more loosely making me look like I was wearing a fucking circus tent.

Joy

And as expected Rage promptly got up mumbling about serious lack of nicotine and his dire need for a cigarette if everyone wished to live till morning and no one questioned him.

Like stated, Rage could get ugly when mad and he had already committed murder once. And although a whole bunch of us would pay to get murdered, he was not the hit man we'd choose.

"Ennnnvvvyyyy…"

I drawled putting on my most pathetic and puppyish looking face I had… or at least thought I had as begging was never a strong point. If I didn't get what I wanted (which was often enough) I simply moved right on along with my _happy _life.

Happy. Right…..

The look on the black haired boys face was a clear giveaway that he would tell me exactly what I sought to know. And he promptly sent me a scowl before I even asked the question.

"I'm not telling you."

"Please!"

I mumbled moving to his side and practically snuggling against him like a cat would do if they liked you enough. And if they didn't like you enough they were likely to scratch your face off and hiss wildly.

But that's beside the point...

A sigh and an exasperated look was all I got before my hand was seized and I was dragged away to the confines of our room, which was honestly the only place in the entire hell house that we felt safe in.

Why?

Because we had Cin and Rage rig it with traps that should anyone waltz in at night and try to brutally rape us cough-ADAM-cough, we could wake up, scream, and run like mad before they got to the bed.

We are so very brave aren't we?

Anyways back to the not-so-pleasant point at hand. We shut the door with a wonderfully snappy click and Envy turned to face me with a serious expression as if he was about to scold a two year old.

You know its really starting to bug me that everyone seems to think I'm six. I do not walk around in diapers nor do I throw tantrums and scream at random people.

Ok… so I may throw tantrums and scream at random people but that is because I'm insane, not a baby. Got it? Good.

"His dad wasn't the one who punched him Doll."

"Then who did? Why the fuck is everyone keeping shit from me?"

I think its safe to say I was pretty damn close to a mental breakdown… or rather another mental breakdown….. or to get even more in depth a semi-mental breakdown as in order to properly have a mental breakdown one would first have to have a state of mentality and I so clearly didn't. .

First all my dearest elder brothers know something that they wont tell me. Now my best friends know something they don't want to tell me but I have the full intention of finding out no matter how much I have to prick and pry.

Its like a fucking conspiracy and I would get the bottom no matter what. Hey, my eldest brothers Bill ok? Stubbornness runs in the family. Don't like it? Bite me.

He sighed and dropped onto the bed bouncing slightly with the less-then-comfortable mattress and gave one hell of a loud sigh as it was clearly audible even through the pillows he currently had his face buried in.

"hisdaddidnthithimitwasthatbrotherofyoursfredtheygotinafightrightafteryouranofftocomefindmeandhejustpunchedhim."

Did anyone besides me think that sounded like a wounded penguin screeching like mad? Guess not.

"Lets try that again! Except this time we'll do it in a language I can understand!"

I stated with fake joy peering out into the hallway from the little window on the door that I was sure only ever served as a way for the freaky nurses to watch you while you sleep.

Wouldn't you just feel so safe in this place?

"His dad didn't hit him Doll. His dad didn't even show up yesterday which was nothing short of a miracle considering he usually likes to come and tell Cin how much he fails at life. Not that we all don't fail at life we just prefer not to hear it from anyone…… Anyways after that he went looking for you figuring you could need some help dealing with your family but you had already ran off to chase after me and psycho-man."

He took a break there to breath and look guilty as if he blamed himself for me having my mini-breakdown by the fountain.

"So, obviously, when he got there all that was left was your family and no you. And that one brother of yours Fred I think his name is… well they got in an argument, a bad one. Which ended with both of them getting pretty bruised up. Cin said it would have went on forever if the two older ones didn't break it up."

What. The. Hell.

I stood in a silence letting this new information sink into my already bitching brain, see my mind has turned against me and no longer likes thinking thus why it was bitching to begin with.

Did that make sense? Didn't think so.

Fred punched Cin………. Fred.. punched Cin….. and left a really really big ass bruise.

That asshole, ill beat him. No, better yet Ill kill him. Then ill resurrect him and kill him again and burn his body. Then I'm going to take all the little Fred ashes and burn them till there's nothing left.

How dare he hit Cin. And I only hope that he beat the crap out of Fred for it and sent him home with a black eyes and a broken lip. What's his problem?

"Why?"

I found myself asking no one in particular, though it may have looked like I was asking the door because I was currently facing it but I am not talking to wood at this present moment.

Perhaps Ill talk to doors sometime in the future but for now let me enjoy my last grips on reality while I still have hold of them thank you very much.

Envy broke into a fit of giggles, that for the first time that day didn't sound hollow or forced, promptly falling off the bed from such movement.

I couldn't see what was so very amusing as I was still stuck between slightly surprised and pissed.

Not a good place to be if your wondering.

"Do you really not know why Fred and Cin don't get along? Your so cute Doll, I cant believe you don't see it."

"I don't see what?"

I asked affronted at being deemed 'cute' when I was currently trying to be pissed. Don't tell me Envy knows about the whole 'I know something you don't know' bit going on with my brothers.

Because if he does I'm going to go flipping mad I swear to god. More flipping mad then I already am and that's saying something as I had eight mental illnesses.

Envy detangle himself from the floor and patted me on the head like one would a kitten before bouncing back into the pillows.

"You'll find out in time. We don't need anything else to fuck us up at the moment don't you think? Me and you have enough fucking issues."

Agreed. But it still irked me to no end and I now fully cant wait till the next visiting day as I have a select few words for my dearest Fred about how he has to attack everyone I care about for some stupid reason that ill quote 'find out in time'.

Its amazing how the twins can still find ways to fuck with me even when there not around.

Assholes.

But this new topic brought me back to problem number 1! Which undoubtedly was Envy's adventures with psycho-man.

"What did Adam do to you Env? And I swear to god if you say nothing ill rip my hair out."

I would to, I would sit and rip all my hair out for the sheer irritation it was causing me that Adam did something to Envy that I didn't know about. And it was something bad, and horrifically so.

"You wont tell Rage?"

He questioned as if he already knew the answer and rolled over to make room for me on the bed, obviously we were going to sink into one of our 'top secret' conversations.

These conversations usually involving Adam, our pasts, Adam, other patients, Adam, and the dangers of rabid squirrels.

Don't ask…..

"Of course I will! After all you know everything I'm told is immediately reported to he who is known as Rage so it will in no doubt reach his ears before dusk reaches Earth."

He laughed and I, copying him, bounced onto the bed and snuggeled into his side. You know.. maybe that's why people treat me like a freakin kitten. I act like one….

Ill muse more on that when I'm bored and/or completely out of my mind later on.

Envy sighed a bit as if trying to find the correct terms in which to describe what it was that Adam did to him. I was willing to wait, in fact I had to compliment him on the way he was handling this as I would have surely jumped out a window or hung myself with shoe laces by now.

Though the probability of me finding a window without bars on it, or enough shoes laces to make a decent rope was low.

"It seems that our dear head nurse not only like to fuck patients himself, among other things…., he also finds great pleasure in watching patients fuck other patients while he sits there screams out orders and jacks off."

Envy stated not even trying to hide his disgust and distaste for Adam, along with the guilt that he had participated in such a thing as that. Forced group sex.. or something of the like.

Just when we though he couldn't get any more screwed up. And DUN DA DUH DA!!!! He shows that he can be more fucked up then fucked up can possibly be by pulling something like this.

"And not only does he like sex! Oh no, he likes bondage and gags and just generally feeling like he is the best and smartest fucking sadistic on the planet. The asshole, in literal terms…"

I felt goosebumps crawl up my arm pricing my flesh like cold needles and I was more then quite sure my hands were shaking at least a bit.

"He made you… like…. "

I sat there for a full minute wondering exactly how to form words to say this…. Why does my brain abandon me when I need it most? Why doesn't the damn thing just leave permanently if it's not going to help when I need it?

This would have been a sickeningly good opportunity for the voice to perk up but it was still fighting through Envy's pills.

Which he got from being a slut to Adam…. And he did overtime just to get me some.

That wasn't fair.

"Who did he make you… sleep with?"

I asked seeing as my other question wouldn't become properly coherent and thus throwing it away like the rest of my sanity.

Envy have a bitter snort staring at the ceiling as if trying to blow it up with his mind. Or at least make a hole in it big enough to cause worry.

"He has a two of a kind fetish as well."

It took me a moment to figure out who it was he meant by that but not to long as I could only really think of two people who were of the same kind.

In a matter of speaking.

"Skin and Bones."

I stated with another whirlwind shiver of goodness, grasping Envy's hand with the sickness of it.

Id figure those two would be the choice and as they themselves were only a few straws short of being a complete basket-case like Adam himself was.

I know I didn't like them. Didn't I tell you they were freaked? Thos two make Fred and George look like playful bunnies.

Playful bunnies that I'm gonna kill next visiting day.

"Exactly. And of course they weren't going to complain because, hey as long as Adam wasn't ramming into them they were fine with doing their own ramming. However Bones did make the not-so-pleasant remark about how he much rather would have had your skinny ass."

He laughed at that while I both got a sinking feeling and blushed. You know, the fact that those two like me was nearly enough to give up being anorexic and bulimic... or whatever the fuck I was.

Almost, meaning that if food didn't make me want to throw myself in a meat grinder I would totally and completely start eating again.

The rest of the day passed by without much interference. I didn't tell Rage anything of what Envy told me, I didn't tell Cin that I knew who punched him, and I verbally avoided the twin skeletons like my life depended on it.

Which, come to think of it, it might. But lets not think of them shall we, lets think of more pleasant things.

Like shiny metal things.

However at night there was no escape from the endless thoughts and memories that you could successfully ignore during the day if you kept yourself busy enough. And no matter how hard you tried laying there in the quiet and darkness you could not block those thoughts away.

It was then, whilst lying under the blanket that I was nearly sure was made of glass and inch powder that I really begin to feel guilty about this entire thing.

Cin had been punched because of something to do with me I was sure. Fred being an ass might not have been completely my fault but I was apart of it.

Rage didn't know what happened yesterday because Envy didn't want him to know and it was causing him pain and that was my fault as well….

Ok… so that one was a long shot but let me pour guilt into myself in peace.

And I couldn't help but fully know that Envy might not have had to go through the whole group rape thing with the twins if he hadn't gotten pills for me. If he would have just left me to face the voice on my own.

But I suppose that's what friends were for and I would pay him back for it.

And it was now that I realized the not-so-wanted fact that knives could not kill all my self-loathing for what I had done this time, where as every other time they were suitable enough.

However, luckily, I knew what could. I knew exactly what was painful and fucked up enough to be proper punishments for causing my friends their distress.

Though I really didn't care much for that route.

I crawled out of bed much later, careful not to jostle the mattress of me and Envy's conjoined beds, thanking anyone who was willing to listen to a fourteen year old mental case that the floors here didn't squeak and ditched my bed pants leaving me wearing an oversized shirt that Cin had given me and underwear.

Both of which I knew would be ruined in due time, though I intended to ignore that thought for as long as mortally possible.

Now it was only a matter of finding the person who I was looking for, and of course summoning up all bravery I had left not to turn back and crawl under the itch blankets to permanently attach myself to the black haired teen who was still sleeping just like the weakling I am.

_Yes, you are a weakling and you're a whore…. This is just proving exactly what we've known all along… slut…_

I know he couldn't be gone for long. What ever would the voice do with himself if he couldn't mock me? Why that would ruin his entire existence.

Not that I cared at this point.

Turning down the obscenely creepy hallways I found the person I had been looking for propped back in the nurse's station looking at a moving porn magazine.

Porn. Go figure. Who would have ever guessed Adam was into porn.

Sarcasm? Indeed.

He looked over the top of whatever fucked up picture he was staring at and broke a cruel smile taking in my state of half-dress with obvious pride.

The arrogant dick.

_Whore….._

"You know Doll you shouldn't be wandering around like that at night, people might take advantage of you."

He said with a tone in his voice that I didn't even care to place, I was still wracking my mind for a good reason as to why I wasn't running like mad right about now.

_Because you caused your little slutty friends pain… its your fault… you shouldn't even have friends……._

Count on the voice to properly inform me of why it was I was doing something I really would rather not be doing.

"Actually I've been wondering when I was going to see your pretty ass again. What is it you want Dollie?"

Adam then asked drawing me from me from my less-then-deep thoughts and pulling my full attention onto him, leaning back in his leather chair as if he owned the world and all its people.

Ass….

He was going to make me say it wasn't he? What a fucking jerk, I sincerely hope that someday someone drops a really heavy rock right onto his damn skull and cracks it open.

A big, heavy, gigantic fucking rock.

With a scary and nearly psychotic glint in his eyes he stood, walking toward me and closing the nurse station door with a snap and a click that showed it had very clearly been locked.

Joy.

The windows in here always had the shades pulled for reasons I cared not to look into, as I didn't need to know anything else about the head-nurse then I already did thank you very much.

_Go ahead you disgusting slut. Tell him exactly what you want….. tell him you want to become his sex slave…. Nasty abomination……._

"What is it you want."

He asked me again, face pressed so close to my own I could feel his breath attack my face with every puff of wasted oxygen that kept him alive.

If you could even call someone like him alive.

Still I pressed away my fear as best I could and settled to fill my head with the reason why I was here.

I owed Envy, and I owed him big.

So in a show of more bravery then I felt I looked up from the amazingly interesting prospects of my legs to lock my own, surely freaked out, green eyes onto his creepy ass blue ones.

"I want pills.:"

-------------------

WOO HOO!

I'm so proud of myself right now because I thought I wouldn't have this up for you guys until Friday and its only Sunday!  
That's a whole five days ahead of schedule! ''does a corny dance of victory'' **:D**

What lies ahead for out poor Ronnie and what is he going to do to Fred next time they meet.  
And more importantly what is Fred going to do when he find out Ron is selling himself for pills!  
**D:**  
Dark times a coming!

I hope you all enjoyed it! And reviews are adored.

Much Love  
-Elixier


	18. Chapter 18

Broken Beyond Compare

**:Warnings: **Self Mutilation : Attempted Suicide : Sexual Content : Rape : Molestation : Incest : Chan-cest : Yaoi : Swearing : Drug Use :

Lookie! The warnings were put back up! **:D**  
This should tell you one thing……..

THIS CHAPTER IS GOING TO BE REALLY FUCKING BAD. **D:**

So if there is something in that lovely line of warnings that you DO NOT want to see. Please remove your eyes from this page, and story all-together and go find something to better suit your fancy.

Got that? Good.

Sorry to keep stressing the warnings to you all who have already read them and got the point, but I keep getting these emails from people who complain that I didn't warn them properly for what was going to be in this fic.

And it's irritating.

So read them, love them. And enjoy!

-------------------

Chapter 18

-------------------

The most disgusting thing, in my own head mind you, because I know the entire things is disgusting, is the feel of him on my body even after he's finished.

It's like he infects you with some sort of demented germ that makes you feel his hands, and other such body parts, no matter if there on you at that moment or not.

How the hell does he manage to torture you even when he's like ninety footsteps away? Asshole.

I walked through the hallways in an almost dazed state. My button up shirt falling halfway off one shoulder from the many buttons I either buttoned wrong or didn't care enough to button at all, which was quite a few at that. Blood and semen slicked my legs, back, lower stomach, and completely covered every inch of the skin in-between those places. I also had smears of the red and white substances on my arms, neck, chest, face, and all through my hair like a fucked up shampoo.

Especially on my face considering Adam didn't only like to rape you, he liked to watch you give him a blowjob while he viscously insulted you and demeaned everything you stood for.

I should have bit him…… I really fucking should have.

Oh and as a mental note to self, semen doesn't taste so awesome. At least Adams didn't…. of course that may just be because he's a vial person in general. However I'm not going to think into this to much as I really would hate to puke right here and now.

Which I was on the verge of doing! Joy.

Among those lovely red and white colors stood black and purple from the many wonderful bruises I acquired from being held down to tight, or roughly thrown over the table which happened more then once as it seems Adam had a fetish for the sound of my flesh hitting wood.

Repeatedly

The once white shirt was turned dirty from its adventures on the floor of the nurse's station, only made worse by the stains that were on it from my body, moving pathetically around my legs that seemed to be carrying me at the direct speed of a dead turtle.

That had been run over by a truck a few hundred times.

More Joy.

I was trying to calculate how many hours I had been gone whilst killing every last shred of my dignity at the realization that I had just sold myself for pills which now hung limply in my hand all nice and tied up in a plastic bag.

I'm a prostitute……

_Yes you are, you nasty little slut….. pathetic ignorant abomination….._

Oh yes and I forgot! How could I possibly go on without the voice there to kill anything else that was good inside of me.

Asshole.

Though it should have been expected, I am a nasty, ignorant, slut and deserved everything I got.

Bick would be so proud that I'm finally coming to terms with who I really am, and coming out of what he liked to call 'mentality denial'.

Why the hell I am thinking of Bick?

Back to the current issue at hand. Getting to my door, which was only a good six feet away, now that I had been dejectedly walking for half an hour. I tried to guess how much time it would take for me to force my pained body the essential six steps needed till I could pass out but my mind just wasn't going to work.

Figures.

Four.. ……. five……… six……..

My hand reached out to connect with the seemingly icy metal of the doorknob after the lovely fifteen minutes it took for me to walk six fucking steps, and I really caught site of my bloodied hand.

It was the same one Envy had cut, now ironically smeared with my blood it seemed… less endearing then it did before. When it was covered with my blood the first time it was perfect, but now… it was just a nasty reminded of what I had done to Envy.. what I had just done to myself and where this would all fucking lead.

I had a lot of time to find out where it would lead too didn't I? Because there was no way in hell that I was going to become 'sane' now. Which meant I had a good lifetime to spend staring at off-white walls and wondering why the hell I was so messed up.

Sounds like a fun life, no?

I pushed the windowed door open and walked ever so slowly into the room expecting, hoping, my roommate would be dead asleep in whatever dreams the pills allowed him to have.

No such luck.

Which I should have expected. I lack any defined luck that isn't bad and I really don't even know why the hell I still hope things will turn out like I want them or at least ok because they never do.

Seems a waste of energy.

"Doll where the hell were you? I woke up and you were just gone and I couldn't find you anywhere. What the fuck, you know your not suppose to just wander off and not fucking tell anyone where………… "

Ohhh, here it comes. I know he's seen my state from the nasty fluids that covered my bruised body to the fact that I'm a little more then half naked, right down to the detail of the pills in my hand and the utterly sickened look on my face.

Because Envy had such an eye for details. Yay for him.

The silence was awkward and I found myself wishing he would have just kept acting like my mother and scolding me for disappearing. I suppose I can't really blame him though as it must be a real shock.

Though I can't imagine why. I mean I'm more screwed up then he is with eight mental illnesses so it was just a matter of infinite fucking time before I crawled to the psycho head nurse to become his slave.

Sick fuck that he undoubtedly is.

_This is your fault….. you did this…. It's all your fault……. You nasty slut… dishonored your family and shamed your friends…… slut…_

It seems slut is his new favorite nickname for me.

"You didn't…"

Envy stated in a hushed whisper sounding almost as horrified as I felt.

Almost…..

Let's see if my mind will come up with a good answer for that……

Nope.

I just shrugged pathetically, and held up the bag of pills as if that was some divine answer before collapsing into the floor in a messy, heap of blood and tears.

Why am I crying? When did I even start crying? Why didn't I notice hot water running from my eyes?

Why the hell am I even asking these questions?

This seemed to shake the black haired boy out of his reverie, and he practically flew to my side pulling me into a bone crushing hug that was almost certain to bruise me further.

"Don't touch…. I'm dirty…. I'm all dirty.."

Pathetic aren't I? Though pushing him away wasn't working because he had a lot more energy and strength in him at the current moment and thus it was like a kitten trying to push away a freakin boulder.

Didn't work.

We ended up huddled on the floor in a pool of tears and my blood. Well, this is vaguely familiar.

We ended up in the same position when I had my first loving encounter with Adam.

Yay for routine and Déjà vu.

He didn't know what else to say I supposed because we just sat there in silence watching unwanted light drift from the darkness outside our small, barred window. It wasn't tense silence though, it was just….. silence.

It wouldn't last long, wake up call was on its way, sooner then I thought as it wasn't long before a male nurse opened the door and found us I a divine pile of blood on the floor.

He was new to work here I could tell, probably just signed on today or yesterday.

Because he freaked the hell out.

When a normal nurse would have sneered and told us to move our asses before he went and fetched Adam.

Moronic Jerks they are.

Envy wasn't expecting a new guy and thus froze up almost as instantly as I did, because now we were in a bad position. Even worse then we were before now that we had drawn the attention of more nurses and just about every patient in our wing.

So much attention in such a quick amount of minutes that neither of us had the time to get rid of the pills that sat horribly beside us, giving direct answers for what it is we did.

I guess some part of me that wasn't frozen hoped to god they would miss the bag of colorful little tablets sitting on the floor and practically screaming 'look at me'. However we all know how hope and me get along.

It's about as useful as sanity.

Joy.

Soon arms were pulling both me and Envy on to those horribly uncomfortable moving beds that seemed to be made of cardboard and metal, and were quickly wheeling us to the nurses station.

Which was ironically two wings away which means not only did we have the fun of attracting everyone in Wing D's attention but also Wing C and Wing A.

Wing B was always off limits to anyone who wasn't a nurse, family member, specialist, and patients who were assigned to that wing.

Because that was where they kept the 'unfixable' ones.

_You should be there….. you nasty fucked up abomination…_

Go to hell.

The male who was leading us in our lovely stretchers had gotten the pills and now held them firmly in his hand for everyone to see.

Lovely.

Skin and Bones both shot us a smirk and blew me a kiss to which I viciously ignored, as we passed their room, others just shook their head and whispered.

But those didn't effect me, or Envy it seemed, what really effected us was being wheeled past Rage and Cin, both of whom did not look at all at ease when they saw it was us in the stretcher thingys, obviously not knowing why we were on them to begin with.

However they got clued in pretty fast.

Weather it was my less-then-clothed state, the fact that Me and Envy were both covered in my blood and Adams semen, or the pills that were on display in the ugly guys hand, but they obviously got smacked pretty hard with the truth of exactly what we were doing on cardboard beds, and what exactly it was that I did while they slept.

The last image of our wing I had before the snapped the door with all the locks on it was Rage looking pissed, and Cin looking horrified and questioning.

I felt like I had horribly betrayed them both.

_You did….. even your sick little boyfriend was disgusted with you….._

"Quiet… please be quiet."

I nearly begged drawing a look front the guy wheeling me, and the assurance that we were nearly to the hospital wing now.

As if that would help me.

The hospital wing was a gigantic fucking hallway, with light blue walls and ugly tiled floor that held no less then sixty four metal beds all with spotted curtains around for privacy if it be needed. Lots of equipment that I didn't know the names of and didn't care to know the names of at that. It housed about twenty nurses, and three medical doctors all of whom seemed to have the cunning ability to make you feel worse.

Joy.

One of those said doctors and about ten nurses flew over to us at once and I had to stop and wonder how the hell they knew we were coming, or.. if they were always this jumpy.

Which, this being an asylum, wouldn't be all that surprising.

A few minutes, and sixty wand movements later they knew that 1. I had been raped and/or had willing given consent to violent sex. Because we all know that violent sex was my favorite pastime.. idiots. And that 2. Envy had been raped and/or given his consent to violent sex.

Because Envy still had the bruises from his encounter with Adam two days ago and thus they automatically assumed we were in this together, and even had the never to ask if we had had sex with each other.

In which I blushed and wanted to die and Envy gave a flat look that clearly screamed 'fuck you' in the most blunt of ways.

After getting nothing out of us but pained silence they left mumbling about how they couldn't heal either of us until they collected necessary evidence as they had now come to terms with the fact that no, we did not give our 'real' consent to be brutally thrown around like rag dolls and fucked through the wall.

Idiots.

We may have gone to the head nurse for it.. but we really.. really didn't want to have sex with him so it was still a form of rape thank you very much.

_Yes you did… you wanted it you disgusting child…._

Oh but then another form of panic struck me. Evidence… like.. semen.. couldn't they find out exactly who it was who did it with a semen sample.

I shot up so quickly it even made Envy jump back, turning my head with what I was sure was a pale and horrified look on my bloodied face, and the black haired teen to whom seemed to share brainwaves with me shot up as well looking equally horrified.

Adam could not be found out…. He would do something that would more or less be so vial and unthinkable that we didn't even want to think of it.

"What do we do..?"

I asked, feeling a fresh wave of tears come forth and distinctly feeling my hands began to shake almost violently.

Nothing of which was helped when I saw that Envy was in the same condition as the infinite truth that we were, in a matter of speaking, screwed.

"You take a shower, we'll get rid of the cloths and bed sheets."

Help it seems comes in the most weird places, or people for that matter as we looked up into the overly-thin faces of the twisted twins of wing D.

Skin and Bones to the rescue. … However strange and creepy that was…

"How did you two get here?"

Envy questioned, not wasting much time with hopping off his metal bed and helping me off mine as it was clear movement was almost completely beyond me at this point.

No sleep, beaten, and subjected to ''violent sex'', yeah my energy confines now held a selective total of zero.

Walking was to much activity for me to do on my own at this point.

Joy.

"We have a sever eating disorder Envy. All we had to do was fall over and stay still for someone to freak out and think we fainted. Now move your asses, and use hot water to leave no traces. Adam's pissed and Bick has already been informed, you guys need to move."

Bones informed us bluntly, ripping off the stained sheets, and the rest of my cloths leaving me completely naked and mortified in front of them. They didn't seem to mind however and actually took the time to look me over.

Cin's words about how they had their eyes on me from when I first came here swam through my mind and I felt the instant need to throw up.

Obviously the fact that you could still see my ribs endeared them and they smiled before taking Envy's cloths as well and practically dragging us to the shower with the promise that we had about half an hour before people started flooding in so we had to move quick.

And move quick we did, even with the horrific pain coursing through my body like hell fire trying to eat my soul and singe my flesh, I still managed to clean up properly in no less then twenty five minutes.

Ok… so many that wasn't exactly quick but hey, you have a night with Adam and see how quick you move.

I would have been slower actually had Envy not been in spazz-mode and literally moving at the speed of light or something very close to it washing both of us in record time.

But all in all, what really mattered was that we did, indeed, get every piece of evidence that Adam has touched us besides bruises and cuts, off.

_Don't forget about your memory you twisted child……. You deserved it.. you wanted it because you're a whore..._

I ignored him for the time, I couldn't deal with the voice right now I was far to close to a mental breakdown as is and the scent of something burning that hit me the second I walked out of the bathroom did nothing to help.

Obviously it hit Envy to because he looked horrified for a split second before the twins were in front of us again with clean clothing and creepy smiles.

"We burned your other cloths, and the bed sheets."

Skin stated helping me into my own loose shirt and shorts they had supplied, though I have the sneaking suspicion all he was really ding was trying to touch me because his hand keep wandering up my bony side.

Disturbed? Greatly.

"It's a good thing that daft nurse left her medical cart unwatched for a bit or we'd have never gotten that liquid stuff and the sheets wouldn't have burned as fast as they needed two before we got caught."

Bones added with a hint of overwhelming stupidity as if he couldn't believe a nurse who worked in an asylum could be dense enough to leave flammable things were crazy people could find it.

"What did you guys burn them with…. Where did you burn them."

Envy asked in shock at this new predicament, and obviously having never heard of anyone pulling such a stunt.

Which had to mean it was horribly rare, as he had been living here for a year now give or take a few days.

"Matches we got from the store. Sneaked them in with the knives. We burned them outside but they'll be trying to figure out how the sheets got out there for months."

Skin stated with an unusually happy tone in his voice, proud of the fact that even in insanity he could out-wit the workers at Needleburg.

In my own mind I didn't think it was something to be to proud of, as even a two year old could out-smart those morons, but as I was still yet to out-smart any of them I guess I couldn't really say anything.

_Its because you're an idiot…. Your disgusting friends deserve so much better then a dense whore to be around them………_

"We have established that I'm a whore, now leave me the fuck alone."

I bit out furiously, latching onto Envy's side and basically hating everyone in general.

The twins didn't even halt in what they were doing for my outburst for which I had to give them credit for. At least they didn't stop and look at me strange every time I lashed out at the voice, like my family used to do.

I was begging to become fond of all the asylum patients, and probably would be fond of the place itself if 1. Adam didn't exist 2. the nurses weren't stupid as bricks 3. they had a better decorator and 4. Visiting day became a once a year thing…

All of which would never happen.

Joy.

"How did you guys get outside?"

The black haired teen beside me asked in a highly intrigued voice, probably in deep thought about how they had managed to break past the security systems in this hell.

"We found another path out Env, an unmarked one so they don't have security on it. We should skip out sometime. And just blow this place for a few. Us, you two Cin and Rage."

Bones declared, probably making a mental plot of how we could do it in his mind.

Oh. My. Fucking. God.

These two were the mentally unstable versions of Fred and George.

Well…. more mentally unstable anyways….

Before we got a chance to answer however the large door to the hospital wing flew open and the twins flew back to lie amazingly still in bed, however kept their eyes open to watch almost amusedly as my four least favorite people made their way to us, with the doctor whose name we didn't know.

But he was the same one that worked on us earlier and asked if we 'consented' to 'violent' sex.

I shall call him Doc. Dumb.

Along with the doctor came Adam, who we froze upon the site of, Bick, to who we ignored just like we do when we have our sessions, Takken, to whom we also ignored, and the Bug Lady.

Why the hell is she here?

God, couldn't she leave me alone for a day.. a week.. the rest of my fucking life?

None of them looked all to pleased save for Adam who just looked pissed beyond words, and shot us a look that was dripping with venom.

It seems we though right to know that yes, he would do unspeakable things if we let him get caught.

"Your cloths, your bedding, the blood on the floor of your room. Everything that could have lead us to your attacker is gone Are you happy."

Bick stated still in monotone and I had to wonder for a moment how it was that he was so boring he couldn't even manage to speak in anything but monotone no matter if he was pissed or not.

"Pretty much."

Envy stated curling his own arm around mine and glaring in defiance at the congregated group of people we didn't like.

I didn't say anything, I didn't trust myself to speak at this point I did however mange to send a cold sneer towards the bug lady just because I really could have lived without seeing her again.

But in true bug fashion she just wouldn't stop buzzing around like an annoying twit.

"Who are you protecting? Why would you allow this? Is it because whoever it is gets you pills? Do you need to drug yourselves up that much?"

Doctor Shelly had spoken!

Joy.

You know you'd think, given the amount of pills they force down us, they wouldn't have the right to talk about anything involving being drugged up.

No doubt we were about to be scolded, interrogated, and reasoned with however it was put on delay when a male nurse with a stunning bruise on his face came in looking not at all the happy, stupid nurse he usually was.

"The Weasley's have been informed Doctor Bick. They weren't at all pleased with this, one of the boys even punched me."

He said gesturing to the large mark of purple the decorated his tan features with a look of utter regret.

I didn't have time to care though, I was to busy spinning into a black abyss of horror at the mere words 'have been informed'.

Informed of what? That I had been raped or that I had sole myself…

I couldn't tell which was worse or if they had been informed of both and I was in for double hell but I had a pretty good idea where that bruise on the mans face came from.

One enraged Bill, or a highly pissed Fred.

Both of which were not pleasing to my current state of mind.

"There on their way. Mr. Weasley said they should be here in a few moments."

-------------------

Ohhh!! The Weasleys are on their way and their not pleased.  
And what about this new passage way out of the asylum?

Lots of issues ahead, and sadly a character death.  
YES. A character will eventually die.

But I'm not telling which. **D:**

Much Love  
-Elixier


	19. Chapter 19

Broken Beyond Compare

Here we go!

Thanks for all the positive reviews I've been getting!! I'm glad everyone is liking the story so far!  
Always good news for an authoress that her work is being liked! **:D**

Anyways behold Chapter 19!! I tried to get it to you all as early as possible, so I hope this one wasnt to horribly late.  
Hope you all enjoy!

-------------------

Chapter 19

-------------------

I would have adored to just evaporate on the spot, vanish into a million tiny particles of nothing never to be seen again for the rest of eternity.

If, indeed, that were possible, which it probably wasn't but who am I to deny that anything can be done if one wills it enough?

However that train of thought didn't help much either for I had very little will power, as it just didn't suit the whole 'solve your issues in blood and scars' kind of lifestyle that I had, stupidly, sought to live.

These are useless thoughts though and I had much bigger things to worry about.

Like the sea of red heads, three of which were in Hogwarts robes, one disgruntled Harry and an utterly horrified Hermione, both of whom were also in Hogwarts robes that were currently making their way toward where all six of our lovely silhouettes stood at the back of hospital hall.

Eight, if you counted Skin and Bones but they really didn't seem to care much about the appearance of my bloodline. They, more or less, found this very funny by the almost annoying smiles that lit their faces.

Did I mention that they were creepy? Because they are.

It seemed that they weren't all to dandy and pleased with the information that they were presented with and I had to fight the dire need to drag Envy away and into a safe distance should Bill start to throw large, and potentially dangerous items at random people.

Which, by the look on his face, he might actually do. Never doubt anything when you're dealing with my eldest brother.

It could be the end of you. Seriously.

However he wasn't the only one looking pissed this time, Dad looked just as angered, Charlie was no better and I just completely didn't look anywhere near the twins as I really didn't wish to see the sheer homicidal rage flying through their eyes like wild fire.

_They know….. they all know about how much of a scag you are……._

Well, at least someone in this room is having a good fucking time. Besides, Skin and Bones that was….

And what the hell kind of a name is Scag?

"I want him out of here. I'm taking him home if I have to get a lawyer."

My father threatened obviously at his test of patience.

Which was a feat in itself as my father nearly had infinite patience. If he didn't, both the twins would be six feet under by now.

So would all the rest of us for that matter…

However I seriously doubted we would have enough money to afford a lawyer, more doubtful still that this hospital really needed any attention to its faults.

A few teenagers being raped might put their intake of lunatics on a bit of a slow down wouldn't you say?

_Sick….sick...sick child….._

"Now please Mr. Weasley, we haven't even a full understanding of what's going on. Neither boy is willing to talk and no ones seen anything."

The doctor, dubbed Doc. Dumb, stated balantly as though desperately trying to save himself from sheer ongoing flames of hate that danced off my family like psycho-pathetic bunnies of doom.

……. I really, really need to stop having these thoughts.

"I think they all saw something and no one will talk because their all protecting someone or other."

Bick jumped in, in no better a mood then anyone else in the room. It seemed he hated having something out of his control.

Go figure.

"Maybe were protecting ourselves, did you ever think of that you insolent prick?"

You know I think that was the first time I've ever seen Envy snap. He looked horrified to, turning to me with completely wide eyes as if just screaming _What the hell did I just do…_

It wasn't funny really, because the fact that he had said we were protecting ourselves would honestly put some sort of fear and suspicion into the minds of everyone present save for Adam.

However the faces of everyone in the room was funny, my entire family stock silent and looking a rather nice cross between bewildered and affronted, Bick and the Bug lady looked completely insulted, Adam looked furious, Doc. Dumb looked indifferent, and Takken had a look of intense thought as though she didn't know what a prick was.

How could you not laugh at that?

I broke into a serious of uncontained giggles, in which only got louder for the fact that I was trying to hide them.

Oh yeah, I didn't belong in here at all. I just let myself get raped to get some pills, which were now confiscated, I was facing down a group of highly disturbed, and highly pissed people who knew about what we did to get said pills, my body was covered in bruises and I was probably facing a month in what Rage called solitary along with a serious interrogation session and here I was, laughing my ass off at a comment that was bound to get us in more trouble.

Ironically this thought made me laugh more, and I was only vaguely aware that Envy had joined me in my fit of giggling and we were both the center of everyone's not-so-pleased attention.

_I hope they lock you up for good….. you disturbed child…. Let them take you home... let them... they have knives there…._

"Shut up."

I stated in a snap stopping my laughing fit abruptly and coming back to my senses, not a moment to soon either as two more people walked in the door at that minute.

One was an amazingly tall man with a sleek suit on, blue eyes, and slicked back blond hair, looking like an older, uglier, version of the one Draco Malfoy. With him was a woman who had lower back length black hair, pale skin, snobby face, and ice blue eyes. They bore the air of wealth and the overall walk of someone who's so rich you want to beat them with a stick labeled 'SNOB' in big neon writing.

However due to their appearance, and the way Envy clutched my arm at the site of them there was only one conclusion as to who they were.'

Envy's parents.

I disliked them when I first saw them, but upon realizing who they were I now loathed them and latched onto my black haired friend glaring at everyone in the room with my newly found anger.

First I was disgusted, then I was self-loathing, then depressed, next came my bubbly laughter episode, and now all of a sudden I was pissed.

And that was all in the serious of about one hour mind you. I didn't even know it was possibly to have that many feelings in such a short amount of time.

_It's because you're fucked up…… more fucked up then any one should be… unfixable…_

Screw you.

"Ah, Mr. and Mrs. Fresia. Welcome I assume you've been informed of the matter at hand."

Doc. Dumb stated almost cheerily to the ugly, nomadic trolls.

Do I hate them? Why yes, I do.

Jerks.

"No.. we haven't, but as we were drawn from a most important event for our company it had better be good, we do not like our time wasted."

I was almost speechless….. well.. more speechless then I currently already was. This was their son, and all they could think about was some goddam cocktail party?

Everything Envy stated about these people were right and I deeply wished nothing but horrible things for them in the near future.

Ok.. so that might be bad, but I no longer care if I'm a decent human.

I probably wouldn't 'qualify' as decent anyways now that I'm a whore.

_Yes.. you are a whore… a filthy slut… you were never decent.. you ugly .. pathetic.._

Shut. Up.

"Your son and his friend."

Bick started to inform, gesturing at me as the 'friend', it was still so very clear that he was upset it was almost sad.

But I wasn't able to feel sad at the moment.. give me a few minutes for my emotional dysfunction to go haywire and maybe then Ill feel sad. But currently I was in anger/hate mode.

Yay for me.

"Have been selling themselves to someone, one of our nurses or a group of our nurses we presume, for pills. Strong pills."

He spoke with a tone that suggested sympathy, however it seemed that the two ugly ogres weren't at all effected.

I hated these people.

_You hate everyone… you're so sick and twisted…… and…_

Shush. Annoying thing….

"This is all? We don't care, he was headed to that path since birth, you interrupted us for this?"

The man stated in his deep accented voice as if this was a matter of a bug on his windshield rather then his own flesh and blood.

No wonder Envy had PDST, who the hell wouldn't with people like this for parents.

It seemed my own patience had been tested and my emotional dysfunction was in full force because all last grasps I had over what I said and did just shut down completely and I snapped.

"He's you son you sick fuck. Don't you even care? No you wouldn't would you, because you're so warped into your own world and have your head so far up your ass you can't understand or see anything around you. I know what you did, you and your whore of a wife are a disgrace to the human world infact your so…"

"Mr. Weasley that is quite enough."

It seemed the bug lady didn't share my anger, as if she would, but she also didn't know what these people did… I knew, because Envy had told me.

No secrets between me and him. Till death do us part indeed.

My family, who I actually took the time to look at, all seemed just as.. affronted by my outburst though I could tell they really didn't regret it as they themselves seemed to have no taste for these two rich morons..

Ugly trolls if there ever was any.

I'm glad I wasn't the only one to snap however because after Doctor Shelly had, in nicer terms, told me to shut the hell up Envy followed in a true shoe of insanity companionship with his own breaking of anger.

"Back off bitch, he can say what he wants."

"Enough from both of you."

Takken ordered, this being the first time she had spoken through our entire conversation.

Or rather.. lack of conversation.

I'm pretty sure both me and my lovely companion looked more the just shocked because we had obviously forgotten she was even in the room. I guess we just thought that she was an old, and ugly, piece of artwork hanging dramatically in the center of the hospital hall.

Not that we really cared. We didn't like her anyways.

"We need to settled this matter, I will take Mr. and Mrs. Fresia into my office along with Envy and Mr., Dasono."

I'm guessing this infamous Mr. Dasono is another physiatrist but I would really have no clue.

"And you Mr. Bick and Ms. Maden will take Doll and the Wealseys into your office and discuss these matters there, afterwards you will bring them both back here for a healing and we shall figure out where to go from there."

I was struck with amusement at how even the owner of the asylum used our nicknames, however it didn't last long when we were so lovingly informed that we were to be separated.

How dare they.

I haven't a doubt in my mind that me and Envy were going to link arms Like I heard hippies used to do back in the sixties or something like that, and downright demand to not be separated, however our arms were grasped and we were pulled away into each respective office before we could fully digest the situation.

Jerks.

I'm not sure how our separation was suppose to help, and I'm my own mind I thought they were just doing it for kicks.

Like we were lab hamsters running through a maze with no end.

Or, it could have just been that we were both pissed and so ready to throw insults at everyone that it just seemed better that we weren't together.

But I like the hamster theory better.

_Disturbed child.. you should have died when You had the chance………_

No kidding.

A few horrible minutes later and there I was seated in a room full to the splitting brim with twelve people, not including myself, and without Envy or anyone there to keep me from losing my mind.

Or, rather, more of my mind as a good portion of it was already gone.

As if you couldn't tell.

"Now we need to get to the bottom of this, I know that all of you are very upset, I understand completely but nothing will get better if we don't fully find out what happened."

Doctor. Shelly stated with a comforting smile that really looked anything but comforting.

To me it looked more like she was smiling because she liked to show off her teeth, but that's just me talking. And as I'm 'legally' insane you really shouldn't trust my opinions.

Unless your waiting my opinion with someone who is more crazy.. like Adam. Then you can trust my opinion, as I'm more likely to lead you on a 'less' demented path.

Joy.

"Now Doll.."

"His names not Doll."

Bill snapped at once, making nearly everyone flinch with the anger held within it.

Yeah, have I ever mentioned that Bill is dangerous when mad? Because he is. And I don't mean 'you might get hit' kinda dangerous, I mean 'you will get brutally beaten and possibly killed in a most cruel and unusual way' kinda dangerous.

Yeah, and they think I'm the mental one. At least I'm not a danger to society.

Yet…

_Yes you are… your very appearance makes all those who are good cringe with disgust_

Well good, because I cringe in disgust every time a sane person passes, so were even.

"Ron then."

The bug lady fixed her mistake and I found myself wishing Bill would just shut the hell up, as being called Ron.. just irked me now.

"Ron.. we know you were raped before. But this has taken a whole new level of seriousness if your going to this man for pills, pills that are very dangerous."

Bick stepped in as the tension just seemed to be growing with every passing second, or maybe it was just me who was tense because I for one felt like the world was crushing on top of me….

Not pleasant.

Joy.

'We need you to tell us who's behind this all… To stop it from happening."

Shelly finished almost dramatically, as if she herself had the power to go inside me and make me spill all my horrible little secrets to her.

Pfft. Yeah Right.

So I stayed silent as stone, I don't think I could have talked even if I wanted to because there was such a constricting feeling in my chest I was almost painfully cure words wee beyond me.

I guess this was that panic disorder I was said to have.

"Ron tell us.."

Fred no less then demanded, obviously at a line with anger or whatever he was feeling as once again I don't try to read into the complex existence of the robot lord.

What right did he have to be mad? Like this all involved him in some divine way.

Screw. Him.

"You know Fred, Bite me. I don't give a shit how horribly I'm effecting your life or taking away from your precious joke time at Hogwarts, But I don't need you here to make matters worse."

It seemed I was more angry at him then I first though.. and then it hit me why.

"And you punched Cin. Why the hell did you punch him? He has nothing to do with you.."

I snapped looking for any way to take the attention off of me. I cant have people looking at me.. whispering about me.. I just cant.

_Because your weak……. So weak…_

Shut up.

"It has everything to do with me."

Fred snapped back, looking a tiny bit hurt but not really showing it. He seemed more pissed then anything though I couldn't help but note that he wasn't pissed at me directly.

Weird.

"Enough."

My father stated, seeing a huge fight coming on and smartly deciding to avoid it. Mum was beyond words and everyone else just seemed lapped in a horrified silence.

As though my prostitution hit them all harder and was more horrifying then it was for me.

Right. I really just want to be back somewhere with Cin, Envy and Rage right now. I found myself almost on the brink of tears again as my emotional dial switched from angry to depressed.

I'm beginning to hate emotion. Seriously.

"I want him home. This hasn't done anything for him, if he needs consoling then fine but he's not staying here."

I hope my father knows that demanding my return wont do any good as the government for protection of children ect.. ect whatever… put me here to begin with because I was classified as 'a high danger to myself and possible danger to others."

Want my opinion on all this? The government is stupid.

_Your the stupid one…._

Butt out.

"Alright Mr. Weasley.. Give us tonight to get it all in order… You can take him home first thing tomorrow."

My heart stopped at Bicks words.

No.. they couldn't just send me away…… That would mean leaving Envy.. and Cin.. and everyone and they just couldn't…

They couldn't…

_Oh but they can…. Your going home.. leaving your slutty little e friends and going back to hell .. aren't you happy…. This means cutting.. you can cut.. and sell yourself to the people at Hogwarts…. Maybe even jump out a high window….. No one cares.. they wont ever care…._

"No.. But I'm still sick.. I cant go home.. "

I protected in a weak, broken voice trying to kill the water that was welling in my eyes as best as possible.

I knew better then to let the voice get at me but at this moment everything was just so messed up and the only thing I really knew was that I couldn't do it without the friends I had found here… I wouldn't last…

"Enough, Its been settled. Go back to the Hospital wing to be healed."

With that they ushered my family out, in no doubt taking them to see Takken whilst leaving me with the same nurse that had freaked out and started this to begin with.

Jerk.

Envy was waiting for me in Hospital Hall, having just gotten through with being healed when I walked in the crying, shaking mess I was.

_Weak….._

The doctor flew on my like he was starving bird and I was seeds, whipping out so many healing spells in ten seconds that I still don't know what the hell he was saying or what he cast on me.

Didn't care really, my poor brain had shut down hours ago.

"What's wrong Doll.. were they that horrible to you?"

Envy asked, latching himself to my side as usual and calming me from my current state of pathetic-ness into a more clam… less-insane state.

"I'm going home Envy… there withdrawing me.."

Now most would think this was a reason to celebrate, but honestly it was only a reason to be horrified.

Adam was horrible, but being alone was worse. Out there I was alone.. save for the voice but he didn't count. In here was dangerous but I had three other people to back me up.

And Id take the danger and my friends over the outside any day.

The horror on Envy's face matched mine as we sat in a lapsed silence, digesting the news that after tomorrow there would be no 'us' no bestfriends forever Envy and Doll, no outcast group of the four of us.

No nothing.

"You guys can head back to your rooms, for tonight."

Doc. Dumb informed us in a cheery way. But quickly shut his mouth when Envy glared daggers at him for being so fucking happy when we were facing upmost horror.

Yes, up-most horror. Don't look at me like that.. I'm insane.. my thoughts on horror are different from that of you sane people….

We walked slowly, latching onto each others arms and dreading the moment of facing Cin and Rage with the news we were bringing, and just generally dreading anything.

You know I don't think me and Envy had ever been so silent in our lives and I couldn't help but find it ironic that I was more clam coming into this place then I am going out.

Ironic indeed.

It didn't last though, as no sooner then we had entered the doors of our Wing we were grabbed and pulled into a broom closet.

And once more my heart decided it hated me and stopped beating because I was almost sure that this was Adam.

Back to do something horrible for everything that had happened today.

But, thankfully, it wasn't.

Who would have ever thought something good was going to happen today? Surprises around every corner I guess.

In a literal sense. Why do we even have broomclosets anyways? I'm making a mental not to never have a broomcloset in my house.

Ever.

Said grabbers however were none other then Skin and Bones, obviously having escaped from the fake grasp of their fainting scene, both with wry smiles as though they had an answer to all problems.

Which knowing these two, they probably did….and it was bound to be a bad solution, but a solution none-the-less.

"What the hell are you two doing."

Envy snapped, in a horrible mood and not willing to deal with anything at the moment.

I couldn't blame him really, as I was no better.

They smirked, holding up a blue hook-like key ring with a serious of keys on it, that I just know Id seen somewhere before.. on someone…

But who……..?

"Adams keys. How the hell did you get those."

My lovely companion stated in awed shock, answering my unsaid question on who these keys belonged to.

The twins shrugged.

"Adam liked our two for one deal, Bones kept him occupied and I grabbed the keys. Simple as that."

"We know there sending Doll home. So we figured we could stop that from happening. Plus, Adams car keys are on this."

The instant remembrance of them stating they had found a way out that wasn't on security came to mind at once, as it probably did Envy as well by the look on his face.

"This could get us all in serious trouble, If we got caught we'd all be screwed."

The black haired teen shot, though he looked as if this wasn't really such a bad idea…. Though he still was horrified as the twins were suggesting stealing a car.

Not that Adam didn't deserve it.. but he would probably raise hell as payback.

Which I didn't want to think about right now.

"Were screwed anyways Envy. It doesn't matter, Adams pissed and now were all on a level playing field. Were all going to get seriously hurt in the next few days If we don't move."

I hated to admit that they had a point. This wasn't just a simple matter anymore, it had blew up to the point that things were going more horribly wrong the n normal.

Why am I even using the word normal anymore?

Normal hates me.

Envy looked at me, his face holding the obvious question about what I thought on this all. He obviously had no intention of going along with it if I didn't. The twins were looking at me to, my silence on the matter annoying them no doubt.

They were sending me home tomorrow.. and that would probably be the end of any happiness I had ever had..

Or.. what was close to happiness anyways as the voice didn't allow happiness to show up.

Adam would be furious.. but I least I had my real friends.. and If were weren't caught it wouldn't matter right?

_But you will be caught….. you will always be caught because you cant do anything right…. Your to scared to do it anyways.. weak.. pathetic child.._

Fuck you.

"I say lets do it."

I was greeted with three smiles at this, and taking another emotional plunge I found myself smiling as well.

"Alright, were ditching this place. Lets go get Rage and Cin."

-------------------

There we are!!

Forgive any typo's and the like as my computer just wasn't working properly whilst doing this update.  
The next will be less horrible I'm sure as I already have my cousin working on the problem.

Reviews are always and forever loved.

Much Love  
-Elixier


	20. Chapter 20

Broken Beyond Compare

The big two – oh!!!!  
Chapter twenty at last!  
Oh yeah! ''dances'' **:D**

I wanted to do something to make this chapter special, however I couldn't think of anything so lets just pretend that I put a gigantic piece of cake with lots of ice cream on the side in here for you all ok?  
Ok!!

Enjoy!

-------------------

Chapter 20

-------------------

Have you ever experienced that heart-shattering terror that seems to rush through you like a powerful wave bent on the destruction of your body, and every thought running through your mind. Turning what was already a bad situation into something worse, something more risky… deadly in a way. That sheer adrenaline that makes you keep moving forward even though the horror in your mind is telling you to turn back

Never experienced that?

Good.

Because it fucking sucked.

We were at the opening of the tunnel that the twins had lead us through, now only one extremely fast sprint away from breaking into and stealing the head nurses car.

And my heart was seriously on the brink of up and quitting its job, probably pissed off from all the worry I've been injecting into it, running at least three hundred different scenarios in my mind of what would happen if we were caught.

All of which were not good.

I only vaguely remember what happened from the time we left the broom closet till we got to this lovely point in our journey.

We had made our way to Rage and Cin's room without immense complication, explaining the situation thoroughly to the two elder boys who were on us like white on rice the minute we walked through the door.

Still not to happy about seeing me and Envy taking away in stretchers that morning.

At the news of what had been let out, and that now everyone knew me and Envy were, essentially, whores. They were pissed.

At the news of them sending me home, they were more pissed and a bit worried.

And at the plan of stealing Adams car and signing our own death certificates Rage and Cin had a draw at emotion.

Rage was all for it, hell he was more for it then the twins were and they were the ones that instigated it.

But that's probably because Rage likes danger, he likes breaking rules, and he likes anything that gives him an excuse to get back at Adam to whom seemed to be his sworn enemy in life.

Big surprise, huh?

Cin on the other hand was looking skeptical. This whole plot not going down to well with him as just like Envy and me, he knew the serious consequences if any of us were caught.

However after I broke into a pathetic show of tears, clutching at his chest and stating in a broken tone that I didn't want to leave him and be alone again, he agreed.

It was then that I realized the words Envy had said to me when I first started dating Cin were true.

"_You know.. all you have to do is pout a bit and tear up for Cin to give in to just about anything you want. That's the glory of being small, skinny, girl-like, and fuckable in a gay relationship. You get what you want."_

And that was a direct quote from the mouth of the black-haired one himself. No joke.

And he was right. As I had probably just signed Cin's death certificate as well as my own for making him come.

Something else to add to my lovingly growing list of things to hate myself for, but that would have to be later as right now I had a much bigger problem.

My bigger problem being the half a mile sprint from the shadows of the tunnel opening to Adams car that sat dejectedly at the very back of the immense asylum parking lot.

"Ready? We have to move as quick as possible. The shift change is now, which means that all the nurses will be away from the security camera. It also means that pretty soon a whole bunch of them will be filling into the parking lot."

Bones informed us, sounding a bit shaky himself though not nearly as freaked as I seemed to be.

If I didn't kill myself, the fear from this entire situation probably would.

_I hope it does.. your to pathetic to pull this off.. you cant even run that far….._

I hate voices.. I seriously do.

It was a few mind-shattering minutes as we waited for everything to clear, just waiting for the order to move given by Bones, Rage, and Cin to whom seemed to possess an undying bravery that the rest of us lacked in a horrible way.

But once they did give that signal we took off like a bat out of hell..

Actually.. hell would be much better then Needleburg so we were probably moving faster then those bats.

And it was now that I learned another life lesson. Being anorexic, bulimic, an obsessive compulsive cutter, rape victim, whore, and prescription drug abuser does not make for a very athletic person.

Running was painful, very much so. And I was nearly going to give up and say fuck it before we even hit the half-way mark.

Oh yes! I possess a will of steel don't I? I can do anything and will do anything when I set my 'sane' and properly functioning mind to it.

Yeah…. That sentence almost makes me want to snigger myself so I know the voice is laughing his ass of somewhere in the depths of my mind where he's lurking silently to see if my screwed up ass gets caught.

Which would just make his day, no doubt.

However my arm was firmly grabbed and I was dragged even further along, moving faster then I thought I could at the instant tugs of someone who was obviously very physical fit for the horrendous task of running across a parking lot.

Indeed.

"I'm not letting you fall back Baby Doll. Come on, were getting close."

Cin stated through even breathing as though he was used to running, keeping my arm in his grip whilst this all.

Did I mention that Cin is the epiphany of all that is awesome and cool? Because he is. Seriously.

We got to Adams car without hearing any alarm bells go off within the asylum, and trust me if any bell goes off in the asylum of hell you know it, those things are as loud as boat horns. However that was but half the journey, we still had to get the car started and get far enough down the street before they knew we were gone.

Which means we had to drive as fast and reckless as was mortally possible.

And who better to fling us down the road at a speed that could kill us then Rage?

We were gone in seconds, Needleburg a quickly fading building of doom in the distance, and I finally let out a ragged breath that I didn't even know Id been holding.

Perhaps that's why I feel so lightheaded? Not good to hold your breath and run.. unless you want to pass out. Then go for it.

_So you made it huh you sick slut… not for long.. they'll catch you.. you and all your little friends… and they'll do horrible things to you.. _

Why did he insist on pointing that out at this moment? Let me gloat in the fact that we got out before worrying myself back into terror at the thought of being caught.

Asshole.

Once I steadied my breathing, which turned out to be a most difficult task indeed, I was finally able to take in my surroundings and the fact that I was sitting in a very nice, soft, leather seat of a very, very nice and expensive looking, sleek, black car.

This tell me what? That dear old Adam is paid well.

Paid very well for someone who comes to work for the soul purpose of raping, and doing other such things to mentally unstable patients bribing them with needed drugs so he can bask in his own sick perversions.

"Everyone ok?"

Cin asked, after we had all caught our breaths and realized that we weren't being followed by anyone who was bound to drag us back to hell.

He got five replies of yeah before we all broke into hysterical laughter.

Why? Who knows. Were insane.. like we give a shit if we laugh for no reason. Were practically talking to walls already, laughter doesn't bug us at all.

Unless your happy all the time.. that bugs us. We aren't to fond of happy-go-lucky people.

"Where are we going anyways?"

Envy asked the unspoken question that was probably on everyone's mind, save for the twins to whom had planned this and in no doubt had some sort of divine location we were heading to, where we could hide out and be blissfully miserable in peace.

As if miserable and peace even belong in the same damn sentence.

"America. They'll never catch us there, there's so many fucking people in the USA anyways, they'll give up looking eventually."

It was then that I realized that I honestly had no clue where the hell we were, or where Needleburg was even located. For a sheer moment I wondered why it was that I have never thought of this before.

Probably because I was to busy losing my mind.

_You lost your mind before we even came…… because your such a disgrace…._

Like your any better.

"Where is the asylum located anyways.. I don't even know where we are."

I admitted feeling increasingly stupid, why the hell did I never know anything?

_Because your.._

Shut up.

Envy giggled, seated next to me in the backseat of the spacious car, along with Cin to whom was on my other side. Rage was in the driving seats and the bony twins split the passenger side.

I couldn't help but muse for a minute about how we all looked, Rage and Cin were fine but the twins were wearing mussed up shirts and pants that clearly showed their lack of weight, with equally tousled hair, obviously not having the chance to change after they fainted.

Or pretended to faint.

Me and Envy stuck out pretty bad ourselves, both in shorts and over-sized shirts, no shoes our nearly skeletal legs sticking out pale white against the dark interior of the car, long hair in tangles due to a shower and no hair brush and bloody feet due to our shoeless sprint on cement.

By the way, don't run with your shoes off over course parking lots. Yeah.. doesn't do well for one's toes.

This realization did nothing for me however except make me feel a little more uneasy at how quickly we could be identified once everyone knew we were missing.

We don't exactly blend in to well do we? With Rage's anger, and the twins, me, and Envy's skinniness plus the fact that four out of the six of us were looking pretty damn nervous, twitching every time a car passed.

That pretty much put a large glowing neon sign above us that said "Asylum Escapee's Chase down and Capture on site."

Joy.

"Were in Villeurbanne, France Doll."

I was answered by Skin, to whom had turned back to join into this conversation… or lack there of, for that direct matter.

France? My god.. not only did that put me a great distance away from my home in Ottery St Catchpole, if indeed I can call that a home because technically my brothers live there and wherever my brothers are, I don't want to be, but we were also an ocean away from America.

How the hell were we suppose to get there? Swim?

Can you just see that in the news? Six mentally instable teens attempt to swim across the shark infested Atlantic Ocean to the United States, only to be attacked and eaten by a great white.

That would be an interesting article. No? Don't even try to tell me that you wouldn't read that report. As soon as you see the words 'mentally unstable' and 'shark' you'll be all over that section of the newspaper like bees on a hive.

But don't feel bad. So would, and I would find that article quite funny. Because remember I have unsure mentality levels. Sharks eating people trying to swim across an ocean.

Yeah.. strikes me as funny.

It seemed Cin was reading my thoughts because he drew a blank stare, giving the twins a look that clearly said "you better have a fucking plan."

I love him.

_Your sick.. disturbed… loving another male…. Abomination….._

Those pills are really looking good right now.

Bones got the hint.

"Don't worry Cin. We have a plan. Just work with us for a while ok?"

He stated in more of a demanding tone then a sympathetic one, it didn't seem as if he was at all fazed by this little outing. Almost as if he had done it before.

Which, being who they were, I didn't much doubt.

However we all took this an answer and continued on in silence, all being left to our own dark thoughts all of which I was sure included the dire possibility that at any moment a nurse at the asylum could pass us, recognize the car, and take us back.

And all in all, taking us back wouldn't have been such a bad idea. That was if Adam wouldn't be there in a heated silence waiting to do horrible things to us for touching his precious car.

I was snapped out of such thoughts however when I noticed a sign that stated we were leaving Villeurbanne, in both English and French words, I watched it go past in though and mental sigh coming over me for a small pint of relief that we had at least made it out of the city.

Thank god for that.

Rage stopped the car about a mile or two past that sign, pulling over on a very dark, side road overrun with weeds and right next to a ditch full of rocks.

Why does everything always remind me of a horror story? I really didn't need to think of horror stories right now. I was already living my own horror story without thinking about others.

_I hope something comes out of the dark and beats you to death.. you sick child.._

I hope something comes out of the darkness in my mind and beats you to death.

Jerk.

"Come on, we have to ditch the car, or they'll find us easier."

Bones implored, him, Skin, Rage, and Cin getting out at once while me and Envy just sat there to stare stupidly at each other as if they had all lost the rest of their minds that wasn't already gone from the beginning.

"Are you out of your fucking mind. Do you realize that me and Doll don't have shoes. And besides.. this road is creepy.. "

Envy protested hotly, grabbing my hand and getting out of the car anyways, pulling me along with him, hissing nearly silently as stray rocks poked into his already cut feet.

I don't really think the pain bugged him, because he was an ''obsessive compulsive self-mutilator' after all, just like I was and the pain didn't bug me. No, I think the road bugged him.

Which I had to agree with.

Strangely enough this looked like a place where Adam could fit in easily, lurking in the darkness and behind the trees and tall grasses waiting for unsuspecting prey to jump out at, rape, and beat.

I wouldn't be surprised if this is where that twisted son-of-a-bitch was born.

Cin seemed to catch this point just as I had, noting the worried and less-then-pleased looks that adorned mine and Env's faces, and he smiled, throwing an arm around each of us and pulling us to his side.

"Don't worry, our adorably scared babies. We wont let the boogey man get you guys. Me and Rage will knock him out if he tries."

This got him nothing but to elbows in the side from our sheer dislike of being deemed 'babies'. Not to mention the reference to the boogeyman.. like we were eight.

We didn't believe in the boogeyman. Oh no. Because the boogeyman wasn't even a shadow or monster, nope. He had a human form, and was currently working at the Needleburg asylum as head nurse.

Indeed.

We were obviously going to complain further, however a crash and crunching sound drew us back with a horrible bolt of panic.

Our first though was that there was a monster coming out of the bushed to eat us, ready to engulf our soul-less fucked up bodies for a late night snack.

No doubt that were insane, huh?

But as it turns out it wasn't a monster like me and Envy first would have thought, but rather Rage and Bones pushing Adams lovely, previously unscratched car. Right into the ditch of rocks on the side of the road.

This caused a snigger from everyone because we all knew perfectly well that the demon blond of Needleburg deserved nothing less.

Manipulative asshole that he was.

But it still looked ok.. Adams car did. Sleek and shiny, well taken care of and highly stylish all form the money he earned by making asylum teenagers feel like dirty sluts and whores.

Doesn't that just piss you off on more levels then one can count?

I couldn't leave it all nice like that.. I just couldn't.

Spotting a large rock off to the side I nudged Envy in the ribs, nodding at it with my head. And my black haired companion, always the mind reader, nodded with a smile picking up on my motives immediately as we both went and lifted it off the ground with a bit of a struggle.

As we were both as weak as six year olds, and that rock had to weigh like a million pounds.

But we somehow managed to get it up and moved to the ditch in where the car sat, dropping it strategically so it busted the back window of the sleek machine, the resounding crash of braking glass not failing to put a smile on everyone's face.

We may be mentally ill, but at least we have each other.

I chose to promptly tune out whatever it was the voice was about to throw at me.

" I saw we fuck it up.. Adam doesn't deserve that car."

Envy stated, sliding down into the ditch to make good on this proposal, picking up a particularly sharp rock and digging it into the black paint, dragging it all along the side leaving a large white scratch against the smooth surface.

No one argued, all of us going into the ditch as well to help in the destruction of said car. It seemed we were all having a good time as well, taking apart the once classy machine, destroying it and whishing it was really Adams soul.

And it was at that direct minute that I felt a bond go up between us all, because we weren't really that different. We all had problems and we had all been put through earthbound hell, and no one.. not a single soul could ever possibly sympathize or come close to us because they didn't know what we knew.

They didn't know what it was like to be, deemed crazy. And no one could truly sympathize with us or know how hard it was and what we were going through unless they had been through it themselves.

Its just one of those things that you have to experience to know about. Sure you can sit there and be sad, telling yourself you know how we feel and how we think.. but you don't. That why we were thrown into an asylum to begin with.

Because no one could possibly know, what we know going through this.

And it made me love them, all five of them.

A bit later we stood at the top of the ditch, covered in small cuts but all looking happy as we stared down at the twisted piece of metal that had once been a car. The doors, hood, and sides were badly scratched and dented, no window or headlight stood un-shattered, the dashboard ripped to shreds and the radio torn out and broken without care. The nice leather seated torn up and ripped out of the car sitting dejectedly in the dirt a shadow of their former beauty.

Yes indeed. Put one hell of a smile on our faces it did.

"I love you guys."

I stated truthfully, hooking arms with Envy and Cin to whom were standing beside me.

I got five smiles and I love you too's back in return, which only helped to fuel my happiness at this direct moment, trying my hardest to fight down the voice so he couldn't crush my good feelings just yet.

"We'll have to hitchhike from here."

Ok, that crushed my good feelings.

It had been Rage who said it as he took up position behind us as if to make sure nothing could harm me and Envy while pushing us forward to get us to start walking.

Hitchhiking? I don't want to hitchhike, I heard those stories about crazy people who picked you up then kidnapped you and locked you away. Every horrifying tale Fred and George have ever told me coming back at full force.

"Cant we just steal a car?"

Skin complained, obviously no more thrilled about this then anyone else was and it was honestly the first time I had heard him question a thing on this entire fucking escape plot.

And I technically had to give him credit for proving he had emotion but not much as this was all his and his evil brothers' idea.

"That will draw attention to us. We have to make sure were not found, you know this."

Bones said in a matter-of-fact voice, showing that this was the end of the current conversation and we were all going to have to crawl into some psycho's truck weather we liked it or not.

And sure enough, no sooner then we had gotten off the creepy side road and unto a more main one then a car pulled up beside us, a truck no less, holding two men in the front both of whom looked to be in their late twenties, and both of whom were eyeing Envy, the twins, and me like some sort of freakin dessert.

Didn't I tell you these broken-down truck, hitchhiker picker-uppers, buck tooth, dirty fingernail peoples were weird.

Didn't I? Yes I did. And I was right.

"Were ya headed?"

The one nearest to the six of us asked with a slow, and what I guess he supposed to be, seductive drawl.

Though in truth it was more revolting then seductive…

"East."

Cin replied flatly, not liking these guys, nor the way they were leering at us.

The two truck people smiled, ignoring Cin completely and focusing on the four of us that they had been focusing on before.

"Well, were heading up to a party. I'm sure someone there could take you where you need to go. Why don't you four ladies and your two watch dogs there climb on up in the back."

Regardless of the situation I still had to hide an obvious giggle.

They actually thought we were girls.

I couldn't blame them to much as all four of us were in baggy cloths which hid our lack of things up top and non-lack of things below, not to mention me, Envy, and Skin were all rather girl-like in appearance.. Bones was too but he had a bit of a more boyish build then Skin did (which of course is how we told them apart), but still the idea seemed ludicrous to my already shut down mind.

Envy agreed it seemed, because I distinctly saw him break a small smile before killing it into the background.

"Of course you two could sit us with us. We're always looking for the company of some fine girls like yourselves."

The one furthest from us stated gesturing to me and Envy with a perverse smile.

We cringed at once.

"We'll take the back."

Rage instructed, looking as if he might slip into his 'I would love to kill you' persona very soon.

Always a sign of danger, and we were ushered into the back of the truck and sat silently as we were taken to this... party of sorts.

I couldn't help but have a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach though, that just screamed that something bad was going to happen very, very soon.

-------------------

There it is!!  
Wonder what lies in wait at this party. And I wonder how far they will get before someone catches up with our poor asylum mates.  
**D:**

Hoped you all liked it! I stayed up later then usual to get it done! And now I'm off to bed because I have a dentist's appointment tomorrow! In which there going to put holes in my teeth. ''sadness''

Oh, and forgive all the spelling errors, because I'm a bit rushed and I really do try to keep the mistakes at a minimum.  
Though I seen to be failing at that.

Much Love  
-Elixier


	21. Chapter 21

Broken Beyond Compare

Update Complete!!!! (as if you couldn't tell, no?)

SEE! I'm trying to get them done as fast as I can! Maybe one day Ill actually get a chapter to you all on time!

Hopefully... **D:**

Anyways I was going to put the warnings back up for this chapter, but I'm being horribly lazy as it's about 2 a.m right now and I just can't bring myself to do it.  
SO, for all of you who **STILL** can't seem to catch the warnings at the beginning of this fic just **PRETEND** that I put them back up for you ok?  
And don't email me hate letters for not giving you a heads up when bad things happen.You chose to read this far to begin with, which means that you should know by now that this fic contains sensitive and dark material,

FOR ALL OF YOU WHO THAT DOESN'T APPLY TO HOWEVER!  
Enjoy! **:D**

-------------------

Chapter 21

-------------------

I felt myself start to twitch as we pulled up to this party, as they call it. It didn't much look like a party to me... more of a shabby little broken down house over-spilling with drunken people who smelled like a horrible mix of cigarettes, cheap booze, and sex.

Kinda like a bar... only less sanitary and with an infestation of bugs….. lots of bugs... I'm sure there was a new species of roach in there somewhere.

This night gets better by the second doesn't it?

"I thought he said he was going to a party not a whore house."

Envy whispered beside me staring around at all the... shall we say non-decently dressed people with a sheer look of disgust upon his face, shooting an even more repulsed look when Bones broke out in laughter just beside us.

What the hell he found so funny Ill never know, as right when I was about to ask we were cut off by the two morons who brought us here.

"Just relax and enjoy the party ya'll. Tomson said he'd drive ya East in the morning. So just chill babies, and remember there's plenty of beds to share."

One of them informed us as if this was to make us happy, leering perversely at Envy whilst speaking of beds.

I saw Rage stiffen to the left of me and couldn't help but smile.

Man that hillbilly guy was gonna fucking die in a horrible way if he didn't back up off Env.

This brought forth a small laugh for some odd reason, as in fact it wasn't really funny… maybe it was all the alcohol around that just seems to fuck with your brain no matter how hard to try to block it away.

That small laugh of mine turned into full-blown sniggering which caused the attention of all my co-escapees to turn to me like I had lost my mind.

Which I had. So no big deal.

"I think Doll needs to lie down."

Skin stated raising an eyebrow at me, and managing to shut me up in an instant which made him smile as if he thought he was some powerful person.

Which he wasn't, It wasn't _him _who made me shut up, it was the three gigantic guys heading towards us with intense looks that would not have been misplaced on Adams face.

I knew nothing good was going to happen in the immediate future when I distinctly saw Rage and Cin go tense with instant dislike, preparing for a fight, no doubt.

Most unwanted, I'm sure.

"Let's go mingle."

Skin suggested bluntly before the three made it to us, dragging me and Envy along knowing perfectly well the others would follow.

Or, rather, hoping the others would follow as you never really knew what those three were going to get into.

Rage was a sitting time bomb just waiting for an excuse to kill something, or somebody. Cin was calm yet vicious when annoyed and/or provoked, and Bones was a smartass who thought very highly of his skeletal self.

None of those were a good mix with drunken, high, and gigantic people to whom covered us on all sides in this half broken shack.

Not to mention that I heard alcohol makes you more violent.

Note to self, Keep Rage as far away from alcohol as was mortally possible for the safety of all human kind.

We chose to sit on what looked like, to me anyways, an oversized green caterpillar that had been killed several different times by various things.

In reality it was just a really ugly green couch, that looked like someone ran it over a few million times.

Caterpillar, Couch, same thing.

_No its not you sickened brat…. Look where you got yourself now... a party with people who are just as stupid as you... are you happy now?... are you…_

"Go to hell."

"Whoa man.. like I haven't even said my like name yet.."

I looked up at the person who had viciously interrupted my soon-to-be spat with the voice, startled beyond words as I didn't even notice him approaching us.

Which isn't all to surprising as I seem to lack that beloved ability to pay attention.

Not that I really needed it, being insane. Who cares about what's going on around them so long as you can stare bewildered at things that don't even exist.

I make no sense anymore…

_You never made sense…….._

Joy.

The man in question was six feet tall at the least, with long wavy bleached blond hair, brown eyes, and such a distinct tan he looked like a fucking orange.

An orange wearing a Hawaiian shirt, cut off jeans and flip-flops.

This was France right? Why the hell did this guy look like a surfer from California? Not to mention a poorly dressed one as said Hawaiian shirt was orange and purple.

I'm pretty sure those colors don't go together… But then I'm also pretty damn sure that the roach crawling across the guys foot just fucking said something…

Seriously..

"Anyways, Like my name is like The Brad… and I'm just gonna like chill with you guys for a bit because like this party,.. is like dull.. and the pretty like red head and black haired chicks are like.. hot."

Seven. He used the word like, seven times. Nine if you're counting from when he first started talking to us.

Which told me instantly that this guy was either wasted off his ass, or really quite stupid.

And why the fuck does everyone think were girls? I'm beginning to think of this as a damn insult. I mean come on, you can only be deemed a female so many times in one hour.

"Well, like man. Were kind of like, boring and like don't really like wanna like chill with like.. you like. Get it like?"

Cin stated with a frown causing all of our lovely selves to break into laughter. Cin wasn't one for acting too stupid, or mocking people, so on the rare occasion that he did, it was funny as hell.

"Oh cool man! I think you like rock too."

'The Brad' stated obvious not understanding a damn word that was said to him, or perhaps his mind could only digest the word 'like'.

Which would explain why he used it every other word with such vigor.

Cin and Rage had flat looks on their faces whilst the twins, me and Envy started giggling like mad, making them give us an even flatter look and promptly ignore us for the moment.

Brad seemed satisfied with this and went into a long, dull, conversation about the 'narley' glory of surfing up waves off the south coast of California.

Not surprisingly his lecture was filled with an uncountable amount of the word 'like'.

I hate that word now.. I didn't hate it before, but now I seriously hate it.

Somewhere along the line of a maze of people coming up to us, hitting on us, and attempting to hit on us in the French language to which none of us understood, we managed to lose site of Rage and Cin.

They had been dragged off awhile ago by two drunken party girls who didn't understand the meaning of the word no. In any form…

Much to me and Envy's dislike.

Bitches that they were….

_Are you jealous? Because maybe your 'precious' boyfriend thinks more of a female then you……._

However not nearly as much of a bitch as the voice. A fact that I'm sure he's very proud of.

Lovely.

"Hey like. try this stuff babes it's like.. whoa.."

I don't understand a single fucking thing he's saying. I really don't.

Even less understandable was the fact that he was holding out small pieces of what looked like slightly wet bread.

Ew.

And the way he was holding would make one think it was gold or something equally precious or valuable.

But no. It was wet bread.

Needles to say we refused at once, thinking he probably spit on the bread or something and we weren't crazy enough yet to digest someone else's saliva.

_Yet……….._

"No seriously babies. Like this stuff is the bomb! It like makes you feel like.. you're like floating man."

I somehow doubt that…

He didn't understand the meaning of the word no either it seemed because he practically forced it down Skin's throat before we all agreed and took our little bits of bread.

I hesitated, as did all the others because we seriously didn't want to eat this shit, though we really had no choice left as 'The Brad' had drawn over a whole bunch of other people to watch us eat said bread.

Which only made me think more that someone spit on it or something and this was all a cruel prank to play on the insane escapees.

Not that they knew we were insane.. or escapees…

_Maybe they should of added paranoia to your list of illnesses… you should be locked up forever.. you're not going to eat that bread.. you haven't the guts.. you spineless…_

I popped the bread in my mouth right after that. Followed immediately by the others.

I'm not sure why Skin and Bones did it, but I know that Envy was in the same position as me with the voice.

I also know that it might have been a seriously stupid mistake to eat the little bits, but I'll be damned if the voice tells me what I can or cannot do or what I'm too chicken to do.

Now I'm trying to show up a fucking voice inside my head. Great, just perfect.

Maybe I should have just stayed in the Asylum, no?

Mind you going back was no option as I'm pretty damn sure Adam's beyond pissed right now..

And that could mean nothing good for my life span.. which is probably unnaturally short by now anyways.

However I figured out that whatever was on the bread, was not spit in any form. For only moments after a, horribly second guessed, digestion , I began feeling lightheaded and bit dizzy.

Not unlike the time I have ran a piece of glass through my hand but that was ancient history and wasn't to be thought of at this time, or any other time for that matter.

I heard Bones burst out in laughter somewhere to the left of me, quickly joined by other people all laughing t something or other.. a joke perhaps.. but I didn't catch a word of what was being so I really don't know what was so funny.

Don't care either.

I was to busy staring idly around the room at the way the colors of everything seemed to pop out more now, what should have been dull faded green almost seeming neon.

I was also aware that the once deafening noise that seemed to be around me had faded and smeared together to the point where the music and all the voices were nothing but long mumbled sounds.

And when the hell did colors possess the ability to move by themselves?

Because that's what they were doing at this exact moment, they were moving.. and changing shades.. dark blue became light blue as it darted across the ceilings. Red became pink moving slowly against the wall, and yellow was turning a series of different colors and moving all over the damn place.

I was quite sure I must have had some divine look of shock and intrigue on my face because last time I checked, colors just stayed still..

"Doll."

I was jerked away from my blurry assessment of the specks of green that seemed to be dancing near the far corner when I heard Envy rasp my name in my ear, mouth so close to me, he was practically kissing my lobe.

I turned my head to him, or rather bumper my head toward him noticing that his eyes seemed a bit.. enlarged.. well.. not really but the pupils seemed a bit to big then should be allowed.

It wasn't really all too interesting but in my current state I found it to be nothing short of magic, and just stared at them as though I had never seen a set of eyes before.

"Doll."

Envy poked me in the side, in what I assumed was a way to break me out of my trance-like inspection of his eyes, then pointed vaguely to where I had previously seen the dancing green specks.

They weren't dancing anymore though.. they were jumping.. just up and down and up and down and up…then down again..

"Do you hear the colors Dollie?"

He stated as if it was the most logical question in the world. And surprisingly my brain seemed to think that yes, this was the most logical question in the world and should be investigated at once.

I think I turned my head after that to look for one of these singing colors, but I don't remember feeling it move.. or giving my body the permission to move at all.

However I didn't much care about body movement at this time, If I did I would have been bugged by the fact that I distinctly felt Skin's presence beside me disappear only to be replaced by someone whom weighed a lot more.. and was taller..

But who cared when there was noisy colors to be found?

And Envy was right, the colors were singing.. mumbling a tune that I didn't recognize and dancing wildly about.

Normally I would have been both seriously freaked out and surprised by this, but for some odd reason my mind was at all shocked by this extraordinary phenomena.

So colors could sing now. Good for them, they beat the system.

"Envy."

I said not really recalling how my voice sounded as I felt my head practically fall onto the black haired boys shoulder, as well as another sensation hit my left ear..

Like someone was whispering into it..

But I didn't care about that, more focused on me and Envy's brilliant discovery.

"Do you see the humming Env.. why are they humming at us?"

I asked pathetically wondering for a short moment when it was I got the ability to 'see' sounds.

" I don't know…"

We went mad with sniggering after that, giggling madly for no reason that I could point us.

Maybe it was because the humming specks were funny, maybe it was because we had nothing better to do the laugh. Who knows?

"Oh Doll clap."

Envy breathed out between his insane laughter, clapping his hands once before doing it again a minute later as if he didn't remember he clapped at all.

Once again the entire idea of clapping for no reason seemed too stupid, but my brain disagreed thinking this was a kick-ass idea and thus willing my body to follow along Envy's and clap.

Which broke us into more giggles.

By this time the feeling of something persistently brushing and blowing into my left ear caught my oh-so-widely ranged attention and I turned finding myself nose to nose with some ugly blond guy to whom I only just noted to be 'The Brad" who was the one whispering in my ear and was also the one with his hand between my legs.

No doubt finding out that I wasn't a 'chick' as he previously deemed me.

He didn't seem to care about that however. Shame.

He too looked different now though, like one big smear of orange and yellow made to vaguely resemble a human form, or hat was suppose to resemble a human form.. more like a blob with arms but who could tell the difference.

I poked him on the nose about to scold him for messing with my ear, my lovely helpful mind failing to care that he was molesting me as well, but that all halted when I saw a black figure move across the ceiling like a ghost.

This scared me a bit as in truth it looked like a translucent black cloaked figure.. thingy that was just randomly floating around the ceiling.

Who wouldn't be freaked out by that?

I looked around me again noticing that every thing had changed, no more where there singing colors and dancing sounds. Now there were just smears of moving black objects.

Like shadow people with red eyes all looking, searching my soul to eat me alive and drop me into some spider-infested box of pins.

I think I must of ran after that because my next lucid thought was looking into a half broken mirror in some dirty white room that I recognized as a very disgusting bathroom.

My eyes, I noticed, were odd as well. With large pupils and just a small circle of green around the end, just as Envy's had been.

I knocked on the mirror as though trying to get the redheaded figure inside of it to come out, whilst in the back of my mind I was dearly trying to figure out why I was knocking on my own reflection, but the back of my mind had no say in my current doings.

So I continued knocking and pawing at the mirror before leaving the red-headed guy inside of it and turning my attention to the bathtub to which was ironically filled with water.

Red water that had live sharks swimming through it, talking to each other and laughing at me.

What. The. Hell.

Did I think the fact that there were fully-grown sharks in a bathtub talking and making jokes, weird? No. in fact I found that to be perfectly normal.

Oh yeah! Normal indeed. Who doesn't have taking sharks in their bathroom?

What I found weird was why they were laughing at me, was I doing something funny just now?

"Hey you."

I turned towards the door to where non-other then Brad stood leaning against a surly locked door, and scowled at him for interrupting my conversation with the sharks.

Or lack-of-conversation for all of you to whom feel the need to point out I hadn't said anything to them yet.

Upon turning back however I found that the sharks were gone, leaving an empty roach infested tub behind, no speck of water in sight.

"You scared the sharks."

I accused the blond who was now strategically pressed against me from behind, hating him for making my man-eating ocean friends go away.

Jerk.

He must have said something after that because I know I heard a mumble of some-sort before I found myself pressed forcibly against the stained white tile of the walls around us.

It was cold to, like ice against my skin and I briefly wondered when it was I had lost my shirt, but that problem was bushed aside as a mouth attacked one of my nipples.

For the first time tonight my brain helped me, deciding that 'no' this wasn't a good thing and that I didn't want that mouth on me and preceded to instruct my arms to try and push him away,

Without success.

"Get away."

I mumbled finding my tongue to be a lot heavier then normal, and thick against teeth not allowing me to form proper words.

There was a sound of something metallic hitting the floor, perhaps a belt buckle or something along those lines, joined by the sound of a zipper being pulled and fabrics moving.

It wasn't until I felt something hard and warm pressed against my leg, that I seemed to comprehend the fact that I was going to get raped.

I would have screamed, but my lips wouldn't move nor would my mouth. I did thrash wildly about however, like a fish out of water and received some sort of slap I guessed by the stinging sensation against my cheek.

Honestly it was scary how I seemed to not know what was happening to me, how could you miss being slapped?

Another sound joined the hushed something's that Brad was saying in the form of a loudly crunching door, a yell, and the sound of something large and heavy hitting the floor.

I, however, was still lost with the realization that 'I was being raped', and was wildly thrashing about when two strong arms trapped my hands to my side.

"Doll, baby it's me.."

I continued freaking out like I was having a mental breakdown until I processed what had been said to me, noting the voice came form a tan and red blur that I deemed to be Cin by the sound of the blobs voice.

Though in reality it could have been anyone.

I don't recall much after that except the sound of talking, lips smacking, some other sounds I couldn't place and the feel of sheets and heat, until I woke up the next day with a splitting headache and a nasty flavor in my mouth.

Though, thankfully, I was once again clear-headed, able to actually think about things gain rather then experiencing everything as if I were sitting in a chair and watching myself move like a movie.

What was worse though was the frightening lack of memory I seemed to have about the previous day. I remember running form the asylum, killing Adams pretty car, coming to a party and now I was here.

How's that for a detailed description?

I must have been drugged, by whatever was in that piece of bread that what's-his-name gave me.

This scared me a bit and the first thought that entered my mind was to find the others and curl up in Cin's arms to ignore the entire world till me headache went away.

This was out of the question however when I went to sit up from where ever I was lying and noticed I was in a bed. Naked. With arms lying across my bare chest and what I presumed to be a head lying on my upper thigh, and distinct pain in my backside.

This was not a pleasant discovery for me and I instantly felt sick wondering what I had done or If I was raped, or if I did it willingly and who was I in bed with, how many people was I in bed with…

I'm never excepting bread from strangers ever again.

I decided, in an almost horrifying act of sanity, to figure out first who I was lying with, find the others, and go from there.

However that idea flown out the window when I actually took a look around me.

I was lying in the center of a dirty bed in a heap of tangled blankets, pressed right in between a naked Cin to my right and a Naked Envy to my left. Both of whom had their arms wrapped around me in a tight grip. Next to Envy was the clear form of Rage, while next to Cin laid Skin. Bones was kind of thrown over is in the middle, head on my thigh the rest of his body spread over Envy and Rage.

All naked, and all of us slicked and sticky with what I could only think was semen.

My heart stopped instantly when the true weight of what this meant hit me. I had, had sex with one, if not all, of my friends….

_Good morning whore… did you have fun?? _

Suicide never looked so good.

-------------------

**QUICK NOTE: **The drug described in this chapter in indeed a real drug by the name of LSD. Its effects are the same as what I wrote (if only slightly exaggerated to add to the story), and are highly dangerous. I do not support drug-use nor am I making fun of anyone who may have had an experience with LSD themselves.  
I just wanted an existing drug to be used as I'm trying to make this story as real as possible.

So, in other words. Please don't send me long lectures about how I'm some insensitive, horrible, cruel, jerk of a writer.  
I gave you a warning dammit.

BUT!  
Hope you all enjoyed this update!  
Wonder what will happen when the others wake up and where our poor Ronnie go will from here?  
Ohhhh!! And what happens if their caught?  
''Feel the suspense'' **D: **

Much Love  
-Elixier


	22. Chapter 22

Broken Beyond Compare

This one was on time!

''dies of shock''

Yes I know! Unbelievable huh? **:D**  
It's because I was sick, and got to stay home from school! There's nothing better to do around here during the day besides type so I got this one done quicker for you all!

And now, I am off to sing off-key in sheer happiness.

Enjoy.

-------------------

Chapter 22

-------------------

I think I was practically dreading the moment they all woke up. Stuck somewhere in between desperately wanting them to awake and tell me I had some sort of fucked up nightmare and this is all in my demented mind, and desperately wanting them to be in a coma so they couldn't wake up and admit that this was something we did.

_I knew you would…. I knew all you and your whore friends would get together one day…. I knew it…….. all along…._

"Like hell you did."

I growled, with some difficulty as my mouth was horribly dry, trying to remember anything at all about last night after I received that piece of bread.

I remember colorful spots, the sound of metal hitting something, and a cold .. whatever pressed against my back.

Oh yeah. That's fucking great. I'm so glad I know those things but nothing else.

Wonderful.

Somewhere in the midst of wondering why I seemed to lack any defined sense of luck I felt a weight to the left of me stir, and a blurry looking black-haired form rise, with an unmistakable wince of pain.

No doubt from a backside which is probably as fucking sore as mine.

So much for the thought that I was hallucinating.

Damn.

It took him a moment to get his barings, probably realizing the same things I had, loss of memory, pain, stickiness, and oh yeah the fact that he was fucking naked and surrounded by his five friends.

Can't really miss that one…

His electric blue eyes widened at the situation and he turned to me looking quite as horrified as I felt, and after seeing my own reflection in his eyes I realized that I looked just as terror stunned as he did.

At least now I know for sure that I'm not the only one who has no full idea of what happened….

I mean I have _some_ idea on what happened but I'm doing my best to convince myself that this is still just a nightmare.

_Its not.. oh no.. you did it.. you had sex with them you filthy whore.._

"Envy.."

I almost cried, leaning on his shoulder and trying to ignore the sniggering going on inside my head.

He would have said something after that, we would have probably broke down and clung together as if our lives depended on it, convincing ourselves that this wasn't happening and that the voices in our lovely heads weren't happy as hell.

Yeah……. As if we could.

However all was cut short when four more forms started moving.

I don't know why I was so scared of them waking up, like that was the big horrible thing I was waiting for. Because in all honesty when Envy woke up I wasn't all to freaked, and if Skin woke up it probably wouldn't be so bad either.

But I didn't really want to face Rage, Cin, or Bones.

Especially not Cin, for I felt like I betrayed him in some horrible sick way.

_You did…._

Shut up.

It didn't take long for them to realize the same thing I did, and a heavy, tense, silence fell upon us with such inane thickness I was almost undoubtedly sure you could have cut through it with a blunt knife.

Or even a blunt rock for such matters.

No one moved, or spoke for awhile until Bones stood from his position of staring at the wall as if it were intriguing moving to the outer hallways of whatever fucking room we were in.

Not like I cared…

He returned a few moments later with a bunch of cloths throwing them down before us on the bed and basically stating in unspoken words to dig through it and wear whatever you could fit.

I let my, horribly mixed-up, mind linger for a moment on where exactly he got these cloths.

But, I thought it better not to ask. Something's are best left unknown and if the shorts I was pulling on had once belonged to a drug-infested rapist like 'The Brad' I really would rather it be left unknown.

Would.. really, really rather….

It wasn't until we were all as properly dressed as possible did the silence that we held finally shatter.

"I say we get the hell out of here and try to forget this ever happened."

Envy suggested bluntly, which was only too happily joined with five nods of complete approval.

What was most odd though was how we all seemed so fucking antsy about the fact that we had actually had sex. Had we woken up naked, tangled in each others limbs and not covered in semen.. some of us hurting in unpleasant places then I think we wouldn't really care.

But we had done something. Semen doesn't fall from the skies, .. and let's hope it never does. I don't even want to picture the lovely news article for that. And you don't just wake up with a pain in the ass, in every literal sense thank you very much.

If only 'pretending' like it didn't happen, came easy. Which it didn't. If that distinct ability ever came easy I wouldn't even fucking be here.

We all wouldn't be here, we would have just 'pretended' not to be raped, abused, mistreated, neglected, and inexistent. Which might have helped us keep some sort of sanity.

It also might have helped us become serial killers.

Who knows?

But the remaining fact of the matter was that things did happen and you could try to pretend till your blue in the goddam face but it wasn't going to change, it would never change. What happened, happened and just ignoring it isn't always an option.

That was strangely meaningful…

When the hell did I start caring about this stuff? I'm not mentally stable enough to have such deep thoughts.

_It wasn't deep.. it was pathetic you whining brat……_

Yeah, yeah.

The air around us was still tense, and we all knew that we couldn't exactly go about as if it didn't happen and one of us would crack soon enough and bring up the subject, most likely me but lets not go into that, at this moment however we needed to find this 'Tomson' guy and get our asses out of here.

Risk of being caught was still great and by now all of muggle and magical France probably knew that there were 'dangerous' teens running about in a pack with half their sanity.

Oh yeah, that kind of strikes the interest of all those who think 'insane' translates to 'morbid psycho killer'.

Which if you look at statistics, is about half of the worlds population.

Us asylum people have wonderful lives, no? Breathe my sarcasm.

Tomson as it turns out was like a less-orange version of Brad. He didn't say 'like' every other word, but instead he said 'eh?'

Like he didn't understand what we were fucking saying to him.

Which, mind you, he probably didn't.

Somewhere from the point when we left the room to when we found Tomson, we had lost site of the twins.

One minute they were behind us the next they were just gone.

Which could either mean that they completely ditched us in light of what happened this morning, or they were doing something that cannot possibly amount to anything even remotely good.

Both prospects sucked and I was left to wonder why the hell I seemed to draw trouble.

Like I had a fucking sign on my forehead that stated quite boldly "I love being on the edge of a criminal record".

Not that it would matter much as my record was probably already screwed to hell by the 'checked into an asylum' and 'mentally unstable' notes that are sure to be on it.

I was drawn from such divine thoughts however, when we were rather bluntly informed that Tomson wasn't taking us anywhere.

Why?

Because he all of a sudden, didn't feel like it, the drugs he was on didn't seem to want him to do anything but lie around and send perverted leers and winks at Envy.

Which was severely pissing Rage off to a very dangerous point.

_I hope he kills you all…. You fucked up child.. look where you've gotten yourself now. Should have stayed in that asylum…….._

I'm quite sure the next few moments would involve bloodshed in some way, that was if Skin didn't pop up from nowhere in the nick of time and inform us that we had to go.

His voice held urgency, which got us all moving as if the twins were being rushed then something bad was going on. Because in all truths you could have placed a bomb next to those two and they wouldn't even twitch.

Strangely though, place a dish of some fatty food next to them and they cringe, finding some clever way to escape even being 'near' something that could make them gain a pound.

They were the definition of odd… Seriously.

But we didn't intend to argue, we really didn't want to be accessory to murder, as well as insane because Rage was seriously on the borderline of homicidal.

Joy.

He lead us outside and past the cigarette littered dirt grounds to a half-decent car that was running almost in wait of our arrival, which struck me as strange because I could have sworn we were just informed that no one was going to take us east or wherever it is we were heading.

As it turns out however, it was waiting for us. No one else but Bones sitting in the driver's seat, probably having nicked the keys from someone who had passed out either from alcohol or drugs.

Or both…

Great. Now I'm a fucking care thief.

_You were already a car thief….. or do you not remember that you stupid…_

Yeah, but that was Adam's car. And he fucking deserved it, so I wasn't feeling an ounce guilty. But this belonged to someone we didn't even know..

What else is going to go wrong today?

"Get in."

Was the order shot by Cin, to whom seemed to sense that this could get us in more trouble then we were already in and pushed me and Envy into the backseat of the four-door light blue vehicle.

It was a few more minutes till Bones and Skin were once more in the passenger seat, and Rage had taken the wheel not failing to practically throw us out of the dirt yard and onto the street before anyone seemed to know what we were doing.

"Well, that was easy enough. Its not like we thought it wouldn't be, as the car was simple. We just thought that they would realize we took nearly everyone's wallets and purses."

Skin stated, more calm now that the psycho party house was out of site, unlocked the glow-department thingy that muggels had on their cars to reveal a series of muggle money, and some stolen id's.

It looked like the twins had managed to get hold of a good sum of cash, enough to get us just about anywhere we needed to be.

Which is of course what they were probably going for.

I, however, was seconds from another mental breakdown.

Now we were pickpockets?

You know, this made me a mentally unstable, skeletal, voice infested, rape victim, prescription drug abuser, criminal, thieving, whore.

_Yes it does…….._

Lovely. I just get more fucked up by the damn second, don't I?

"Are you out of your minds? Do you realize this could get us in more trouble then were already in, it could get us caught. What if they call those cop people?"

Envy snapped, no more happy about this then I was and thinking along the same lines as me as we were both safely scared about being caught.

Bones just grinned, looking at us as if we were cute little kids asking stupid ass questions and throwing fits about nothing.

Like he was any better….

"Think about it. They were on drugs Envy, not to mention there were a few underage kids in there like us who were drinking and such."

I noted that he distinctly didn't mention sex, as he was still probably in denial about this morning.

"Their not going to call the cops because they'll be in deep shit if they do."

This shut me and Envy up quite efficiently, and we were in no doubt left to wonder why we didn't seem to know anything about what was going on around us.

This led me to the conclusion that the entire group was run by Cin, Rage, Skin, and Bones, whilst us two were just here to follow along behind and look pretty.

And we didn't even look all to pretty so we were failing at that anyways.

_Maybe your leaders will lead you ass off a fucking cliff…… I hope.. I hope…._

Joy.

Cin smirked, leaning over to kiss me on the cheek, obviously sensing my sad realization that I had no talent nor brains to even begin to properly pull this off if I was on my own.

Yay for being useless. Well, at least I wasn't useless alone, Envy was useless with me.

I loved him.

That sentence brought back the memories of waking up earlier and the feeling of cold dread came back over me, making me tense up at once.

You could still tell we were all stiff about it, we didn't have the normal air we usually carried and the silence was not the normal silence we were used to.

It held unease and uncertainty.. just waiting for someone to bring up the unspeakable.

And as no one seemed to want to it mid-as-well be me.

"Does anyone remember what happened between us last night?"

There it was. I said it. All that's left to do is just to wait about and see if I got any answers.

"No.. not much."

Rage seemed to be the only one who possessed the divine ability to speak of it. You had to love his indifference to most things even if he was a jerk from time to time.

Unless of course he was pissed.. then indifference didn't matter and you better start running.

"Me and Cin were drunk to hell from the vodka those girls kept throwing down our throats. And you four were fucked up when we found you, Doll was having a spastic fit in the bathroom about to get rape by what's-his name. Envy was half-naked getting molested by at least seven different people, and the twins were making out in front of a very pleased audience."

My god.. and I thought I was bad off. Poor Envy getting molested by those ass-holes. And the twins..

Why did incest follow me around?

And why the hell do I think of Fred every time I think of incest…..

_Are you falling for your own brother…… twisted.. sick … wrong…… abomination…_

Like hell I am. Even if I was to fall for one of my brothers, which would never happen as, come on.. look at who my older brothers were, it would not be Fred.

It would never be him, not the robot lord of all that is cruel and evil.

Lovely, now that I have completely disgusted myself lets move on to other thoughts shall we?

"So no one remembers anything after that?"

I stated, wondering how we all became drunk and high at the wrong times and hating how none of us seemed to have any luck.

At least I know its not just me who had bad luck sticking to them like plague.

"I only have vague memories of actually getting to the bedroom, heat, and the feel of bare skin on skin."

Cin stated, looking out the window probably trying to remember anything else. He did take my hand in his own however passing off some of his calmness to me, which I was beyond grateful for.

My poor nerves were nearly busting at the seams from stress, worry, and fear.

I scooted my way over to lean on the dark skinned boy's side, pulling Envy along with me as he was still attached to my other hand, making a sort of leaning effect with Envy on me, me on Cin, and Cin leaning on the door.

Yay for us.

"You know. I don't really mind the fact that I woke up with you guys. If it had been anyone else I would have freaked.. but not with you four."

Skin stated admittedly, turning around in his seat to face us in the back a look of seriousness on his face.

Which was most unusual for one of the menace twins of Needleburg.

"You guys mean more to me then just about anyone else. Ironic though, that the first time we get the four of you naked with us we don't even remember it."

We all broke into laughter at that,. The tense air leaving us at once, making everything a little better.

If just for the moment.

I thought about that though… coming to the conclusion that I didn't so much as mind who I was lying with, as much as I minded the not knowing of exactly what happened.

And I still felt like I had betrayed Cin in a horrible way, but he didn't seem to mind,. Infact.. he didn't seem effected by the entire thing.

I had to wonder if he knew something we didn't, but pushed that aside as we had much bigger problems to worry about at this time.

Like where it was we were going as we were entering another town.

And for me this was a bad thing as the more people who were around us the more chance we had of getting caught.

And being caught meant facing down Adam, Bick, Takken, Shelly, and my entire family.

All of whom I could really do without ever seeing again.

_Your such a horrible son…….._

And you only just figured this out? I knew I was a bad son years ago, right when I started slicing up my body.

More Joy.

"Where are we going."

Rage asked, as he was driving and still didn't know how the twins intended for us to get to America, as they had so lovingly planned.

"We stole enough money to get plane tickets, first lets hit a store to grab some proper cloths and shit then we'll head over to the nearest airport."

Bones stated, pointing off to a department store on the right of us which we pulled into at once. It was a good thing it was still early morning and not to many people were about just yet.

As one, we looked odd enough in the baggy dirty cloths we'd stolen. And two I'm pretty damn sure that there was some sort of warning out for us and didn't fancy the idea of being recognized.

All in all it took us only about twenty minutes in the store, flying through cloths like bats out of hell, making a quick purchase, changing in the bathrooms, ditching said nasty baggy cloths and brushing out our hair with the combs Skin had thought to get, and leaving before anyone had a real chance to look at us properly.

I was feeling better, weather it was from not being caught or shopping Ill never know.

Yes I like shopping.. don't look at me like that if you lived poor and suddenly got some money to actually get things you want then you would like shopping to dammit.

_You're a sorrow excuse for a human…… you don't even act like a proper boy…_

Yeah… after being put in an asylum everything about me that might have been proper kind of flew out the window.

An hour later found us out front an air port and leaving on the car while Rage, Cin, and Bones poured over a map trying to decide the best place in which to go.

There was a mix of opinions from heading to Florida, New York, and California, all of which had a good population of people we could hide within.

Personally I was completely on Cin's side when he said California as that was the furthest away and from my stance, the more distance that was put between us and Adam the happier I would be.

All content and what one could almost say was semi-happy moods were lost however when a man dressed in a dark uniform approached us with a strange look in his eyes.

I tensed at once and clung onto Envy and Skin to whom were the ones standing nearest to me, not failing to draw everyone's attention to the approaching male.

The man however was nothing compared to who was standing not far behind him, walking toward us with a look of utter dismal hate and anger.

If fire could come out of someone's eyes then that man would set everything in a mile's radius ablaze.

I felt the need to scream, and everyone went tense. You could practically see the wheels turning inside Bones and Cin's heads as they assessed the situation and looked for a way to escape.

I could only hope that they figured out a way to escape as well, for Adam was looking like Satan himself getting closer with every step.

_They found you………………_

-------------------

Adam caught up. **D: **And he's pissed.  
I wonder if dear old Bones will manage to form an escape plan with the help of Cin fast enough to save everyone from a horrible fate.

Who knows?

-Elixier


	23. Special Chapter Fred's POV

Broken Beyond Compare

The first chapter in the side-series of what's going on from Fred's point of view.

I'm basically just picking out certain pieces from Chapters to re-do in this form, its easier then re-doing full chapters by far, plus we cover more ground this way.

I don't know when these will come out. I'm not going to put one out every single update I make. Its more of like.. a surprise gift you'll get alongside certain chapters and such!

This is only to make sure I don't fall to behind by trying to pull of two chapters at once.

Enjoy.

-------------------

Special Chapter -01-

------------------



---------

**Reference – Chapter 1**

---------

Words. Tons of them really, flying about me in many different conversations as my present family members talked about one issue or another all discussing a topic that I deemed 'unworthy' of my full attention at this precise moment.

Notice I stated 'present family members'. That would be because two of them are missing. Betcha can't guess which ones huh? That would be the eldest and the youngest of the male species in this house, (not including dad of course).

I like the word species… Note to self, use species in as many sentences as possible for the next month.

So yes, basically Bill, eldest of my many brothers and Ron, youngest of my many brothers were both not-present at the table.

Which wasn't all that unusual to date. Where are they you ask?

I haven't a single doubt in my mind that Bill is in Ron's room starting up the daily war that has been waging between them since summer started. Over the meal we were currently eating, no less.

See, Ron is probably stating he's 'not hungry', even though he hasn't had a bite to eat in the past two days and even before that all he ate were minimal scraps of food when forced to. Bill however, being the usual protective god he is, is demanding that our dearest little brother eat something.

Usual, it happened every fucking day.

Because Ron was practically killing himself with his sudden refusal to digest anything that wasn't water. It was affecting all of us in the worst possible ways.

Especially me.

Yes. I Fred Weasley, mischief god of Hogwarts and future danger to society, am being deeply affected. Something, that for the longest time, people thought was completely incapable of me.

Learn something new everyday huh?

I was plainly going to travel off into further useless thoughts about the whereabouts and activities of my two missing brothers however I was nudged very harshly in the ribs by my twin and drawn back into my not-so-pleasant reality, noticing for the first time that the words flying around me had halted.

And there he was.

Bill had obviously succeeded in prying him out of his room today. A difficult task no doubt.

Pain wracked through my body at the sight. He was fucking skinny… much to skinny then would even be remotely healthy. My eyes preformed the very familiar look over his body, twitching slightly as I saw how the flesh sunk in by his neck, collar bone practically jabbing through the deathly pale skin.

Like some sort of…. Rather attractive skeleton back from the grave. No, I don't have a dead or skeletal fetish. That's sick people.

It's just there was nothing you could do to Ron that would make him unattractive in my eyes. I suppose that was what love did to you. Made you freakin adore the air the object of your affection breathed no matter if they looked like death or not.

And trust me he did look like death…

So I have a crush on my little brother. Big deal... At least I'm not obsessed with ugly quidditch players more then twice my age like a certain twin I know.

And if you don't like it then you can dance your prissy ass right out of my site because quite frankly I don't much give a shit.

Ron is beautiful...but... at the moment he was sick. Everyone could see it, we had seen the bones since we came home, obviously having missed them while we were still at Hogwarts as **1.** I was two years older and thus in a complete different class group, **2.** He was always off trying to get himself killed in various ways with Harry and Hermione, and **3.** The cloaks, and jackets of our uniform made it nearly impossible to tell who was normal and who was…. Well.. who was like Ronnie.

He used to be fucking perfect though. Feminine body (curves and all), pale but not death colored skin and those eyes…. Eyes I could drown in for hours if that wouldn't make my obsession with him totally and painfully obvious.

Yeah, nothing short of godly right there…

Speaking of eyes mine had yet to leave his form as he was seated infront of me, almost as if they were glued to him. Everyone else seemed to move on to their now, fake, conversations and such leaving my staring to be the only one upon him.

Which Ron picked up on immediately, shooting me on hell of a scowl until I devioded my own eyes back to my plate. Only vaguely hearing Bill order him to eat before the table was consumed with the sound of clinking silverware.

-------------------

**Reference – Chapter 4**

-------------------

"You know you can't just not sleep and eat forever Fred."

I pointedly ignored him, not really feeling the need to have someone pricking over my current state when _he_ was lying in a bed half dead not seven feet from the doorway in which I was currently leaning.

And if Bill felt the fucking need to watch and be some sort of overly protective, no touchy of my siblings, kind of brother then he should have been in that room six days ago and he should have fucking stopped Ron from trying to kill himself.

But he wasn't, and therefore I had no reason to listen to him now, besides it would have just pissed me off. Everything is pissing me off right now, from the fucking beeping of the machines connected to my little brother to the, in my opinion stupid, nurses walking by, all of them _not doing anything_…

We were wizards, you'd think they'd have some sort of cure for this, some way to bring him back from the coma he slipped into because he was sick and no one noticed it. But no, all the damn doctors could do was give us these fake sympathetic stares while informing us that Ron may not live much longer, as if that would help somehow.

But it didn't fucking help. What would have helped is if they got of their asses and brought him back. Not just standing there and saying he's going to die without even trying to save his life, like he was as important as some little kids sneeze or the common fucking cold, and therefore was not worth their full and complete attention.

Like he should have been. He should have been at the top of all their goddam lists, the most important fucking thing to deal with. Screw the other patients and their stupid illnesses. Because all of them were not that important.

Ron was.

"Fred.. Fred are you listening."

Damn Bill could be pushy when he wanted.

"No I'm not fucking listening now leave me the hell alone."

I stated quite bluntly as he was obviously missing the whole 'I'm not looking at you nor am I answering you' sign that I was ignoring him, so he had to be informed. I know Mum scolded me for my non-proper language, but I didn't care to listen.

When have I ever been 'proper' anyways?

You know why is it that every time you'd rather not relive something in your mind it seems to send automatic instructions to your brain to play out the scene over and over again until you wanted to smash your skull into something?

I remembered that night, he was upstairs screaming at whatever the hell this voice thing was that he mumbled about a few days ago. We all panicked for a minute before Dad, Bill, and me shot up the stairs like a bat out of hell to find him in a gigantic puddle of blood.

Other then that I don't really remember that night, just the image of him lying there with blood continually pouring out of his body. I only vaguely remember Bill freaking out and telling someone to go to St Mungo's and get healers, and I know for a fact that Ginny screamed somewhere along the line before Charlie ushered her out.

But mostly it was just him.. in blood… and not moving.

The thought made me sick to my stomach, and seeing him lying in a bed that was so clearly too big and far to white for him did nothing to help this mental imagery. And the way he was moving his head as if he though it would fall off.

Wait…..moving…

"Ron.. Ronnie, you're awake."

The words hit me like a hammer and it was only seconds it seemed before I was beside him, arms fiercely enveloping his way to thin form. He was alive.

Ronnie was alive.

Pretty much everything in the world just lessened to a distant blur, because all that really mattered was that Ronnie was, indeed, alive.

"Where am I?"

His voice brought me out of my stupor with its frail and deathly tone. Damn he sounded sick.. much sicker then before.

But I suppose after plunging a knife through your arm anyone would sound sick.

He looked at me in a weird way, like a cross between actually looking sorry for me for some odd reason and that never-ending suspicion and dislike that seems always present no matter how fucking hard I tried to get him to not hate me.

However all that didn't matter at this exact moment in time.

I took one of his hands in my own, flinching a bit from the bony-ness of it and remembering the way the doctors had informed us of his sever lack of weight, and how he would have been dead soon enough anyways.

They didn't do anything about that either, just hooked up a freakin plastic tube to him and said 'it was all they could do."

Yeah right.

They could have done a lot of shit, I could have done a lot of shit but we didn't and this is where it lead us.

Life's a joy huh?

"Your in St. Mungo's Ron, you've been in a sort of coma for six days now."

I informed him sounding none-to-happy about this myself as I watched his face contort to wonderment and shock, probably contemplating how the fuck he had managed to get himself in such a position.

"I didn't die?"

My heart seized inside my chest and I was only just aware that I had gripped his hand more tightly. The way he said it.. he sounded so.. regretful. Like waking up to find he was still living was one of the most horrible things to ever be informed of.

I don't even remember the rest of our family pouring in like a rushing waterfall arms instantly closing around Ron, blocking my view of him for a moment.

Which may or may not have been good as I was pretty sure I looked horrified that he was _upset _to fine out he was alive.

Then, being true Weasleys, they all started talking at once and scared the hell out of Ron.

I almost felt the need to tell them all to shut the fuck up and go away, however I would rather not be grounded till I was sixty and Mum was sure to do so if I cussed one more time today.

I was already in a bad spot with her for dying Ginny's hair green two weeks ago.

He asked why he didn't die again, and I almost fell over. I never really thought words could hurt you, until my dear baby brother started stabbing me with them.

A talent that only he had on me.

"We know you've been cutting yourself."

I stated bluntly after Bill had informed him that he nearly did die. As he seemed to so desperately wish he did.

I was beginning to get pissed off again, the ecstasy that came over me when he was alive was ebbing away and anger was filing in right behind it, only being fueled by Bill and Percy flinging out information and asking why.

The reason my beloved Ron was hurting himself was very important. But not nearly as important as the 'stopping' of hurting himself. Something I was damned sure would happen very soon if I had to handcuff him to my side and watch him every fucking minute of every fucking day.

Not that, that was at all a bad imagery, if I do say so myself.

I was drawn from some rather sick thoughts by a scream and the fact that the hand I had clutched in my own was suddenly ripped away, leaving a kind of cold feeling behind.

That was weirdly poetic…

Ah. He found out that we got rid of his scars.

And did he look pissed about to, not that I was paying full attention, mind you. For he had just lifted his gown pretty high showing a large portion of pale, yet bony, leg.

I began to shift uncomfortably at this. I never did have much self-control and the urge to just grab the hem of that white gown and fling it completely up and giving what was underneath a full inspection was biting at me.

Damn I feel like a pervert.

A seriously sick pervert no less, as said object of my affection is killing himself and I'm having erotic sex fantasizes.

That makes me the king of horrible big brothers, I suppose.

He looked as if he was going to go off on us all and tell us exactly what he thought of us removing his marks but we were so lovingly interrupted by this brunette to whom I had seen mum talking to a few days ago.

Ugly prat she was… another doctor I suppose that just sat around _not doing anything _while Ron lied here half-dead.

Ironically I think me and Ron were the only ones floored when she said she was a psychiatrist. He was probably pissed off, and I was busy wondering why they would get such a preppy annoyance to take care of him.

I didn't want any ditzy over-make upped bitch, trying to pry into my Ron's head or telling him he was sick.

Because I'm pretty sure he knows he's sick, and I just basically don't like the idea of this lady _hovering_ over him.

I don't like the idea of anyone hovering over him and was more then willing to kick the asses of all who tried.

Mess with my territory and Ill fuck you up. Simple as that.

I watched with no less terror then anyone else as he verbally told off this.. voice I suppose that was in his head.

I guess the idea that he wasn't really hearing voices, that I had been operating on for the last few days was gone and done. I was in denial, and my denial just got chopped up to pieces.

Something I wasn't to happy about.

But my un-happy feelings didn't last long as more words that I didn't care to listen to were exchanged before a felt something warm press itself against my chest. I tensed at once realizing, again, that I had no self-control and very un-pure thoughts decided to dance around my head picturing other ways in which I could have Ron pinned against my chest.

Naked and writhing..

… I suppose this makes me the god of all bad big brothers instead of just the king..

The ride home was silent as the grave in the most unnerving of ways, and even when we got home everything was still.. surreal and quite.

Which is very unusual for our house. If me and George weren't blowing something up we had five other siblings to make enough noise to make you think we were blowing something up.

Quiet didn't suit us.

It didn't suit him, nor did his bony appearance.

Or the way he was crying when he found out we took all the knives and forks out of the house. Sending them to Charlie's apartment in Romania until Ron was deemed 'safe' enough to bring them back.

It tore at me to see him in such a state, and I instantly regretted helping in the removal of said knives.

"I need them.."

His voice was cracked with intense agony, as if we were taking razors and slitting him up on the inside, leaving scars no one could see.

I however, was not going to accept that I could possibly be hurting him and thus settled to argue his plea.

"No you don't, your better then that Ron."

"No I'm not!"

"Yes you are."

I might of actually won this argument if the next words never left his mouth. Unsaid words that almost seemed to taint his pretty lips.

"I hate you"

"I hate you all."

I thinks its safe to say that those words struck something within the three of us who were standing at the base of the stairs, witnessing this whole showdown. He had never said that to us before.

Sure we pissed each other off now and then but he had never said he hated us. And even if he did it probably wouldn't sound so meaningful as it did now.

He walked towards where we stood, in no doubt heading right back up to his room but I didn't miss the 'especially you' he shot at me as he went. Pretty green eyes full f intense dislike all directed towards me like this was my fault somehow.

It wasn't my fault of course, but that didn't lessen the pain those words caused. Pain so completely brutal that I couldn't even describe it properly.

I only just heard Bill mumble something about Ron not meaning it and how he was just angry and looking for someone to take it out on.

That was probably true, however I couldn't help but feel that part of me had just been shredded to non-existent bits.

-------------------

And there we have it.

It didn't come out as good as I had originally wanted, and for some reason it seems a bit.. off to me and I'm hoping that these chapters will eventually get better but this one just wouldn't mold into what I wanted it to be.

Anyways. Feed-back is loved, and feel free to request any events/area's where you would like to see Fred's point of view from!

Much Love  
-Elixier


	24. Chapter 23

Broken Beyond Compare

Its late, I know I know….  
And I don't have an excuse this time... I've just kind of lost my muse for this story and I was dead on any inspiration to write it.

But hopefully my muse will return and my updates wont be that fucked up until it does.

But without further ado, here is Chapter 23!!! (at last….)

Enjoy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-------------------

Chapter 23

-------------------

Oh this was not good. Not good at all.

I don't think I've ever been so scared stiff, and suddenly the idea of ripping apart Adam's car didn't seem like such a good one.

Ok.. so I don't regret that at all but seriously, I'm pretty close to.

That's how freaked I am at this moment.

_I hope he gets you, fucks you to death in that pretty broom closet… you deserve it.._

I can practically feel the fear pouring into me at an alarming rate because there was truth in the voices words, and I hadn't a single doubt that, that is exactly what Adam was planning to do when we got back to Needleburg.

Joy for me.

Envy looked as dead panicked as I was, so did Skin. How it was the other three didn't was beyond me and I really didn't care.

I wasn't about to take the time to read into their complex nature, thank you very much.

"Get in the car."

Rage ordered as Adam drew closer almost running towards us now and I was suddenly very thankful that the airport had one hell of a large parking lot.

I don't really remember getting into the car, so I'm guessing at one point or another I was shoved in by someone because it seems my eyes were far too attached to watching the cop behind the nurse from hell talk into his radio-thingy..

What do muggles call those again? Salky-Talkys, or something.

Shows you just how much I pay attention to my father. Which isn't very much at all really.

_You're a disgrace_

Pretty much.

I was broke out of my heart-stopping, horror filled, mental images of what lied in store for me back at the asylum when I suddenly heard the resounding screech of tires as if a car was moving very fast.

Then I realized we were that car.

Not a good realization, for me at least.

Did I ever mention that I serious problems with being in a car moving about a hundred and twenty miles per hour?

Because I do.

And you would too if you had grown up with Fred and George as brothers. That ride to Harry's house when I was twelve was the most unpleasant thing I have ever experienced. How the hell those two managed to get that car to almost crash into things up in the air will forever be beyond me.

But this was much, much worse. Now we were on asphalt, not air, and were weaving through cars and people like mad.

I have to give credit to Rage though, that boy could drive.. however haphazardly it may have been…

"What the hell are you doing?"

Envy blurted out in disbelief when we only just missed hitting some poor old muggle man when he was trying to get to his car.

Ok I take that back. Rage can not drive … at all.

I was beginning to silently hope we would get out of this parking lot soon. I mean I was already a mental case, a thief, I've destroyed private property and I've sold myself. So do I really need a murder to add more icing to the fucked up cake I call life?

No, I didn't. And I also didn't need to be thinking of food, least I throw up here and now.

_It doesn't matter…. nothing matters…. you're going to be locked up forever anyways… forever…. _

On second thought, a car crash wasn't at all sounding too damn bad all of a sudden.

With another screech we turned, or rather.. flew, onto the road and out of the parking lot flying down the street like we were running for our lives.

Which we were. So that fit nicely.

I could distinctly hear sirens in the distance and a heavy feeling settled in the pit of my stomach because I just knew that they were coming for us.

"They know where we are now.. there's no way in hell we can get away."

I stated sounding more pathetic then I really thought I should have, but I least I was being honest.

Because truthfully, we had half a tank of gas and a long stretch of road to go before we could even try to lose them. There were no trees, just a barren slate of concrete and the occasional sign or two.

Yeah.. we were pretty much fucked.

"How the hell did he find us that quick?"

Skin almost demanded, from no one in particular. I think he was just severely pissed because his escape plan was foiling before his eyes and that didn't suit his fancy one bit.

"Adams not a retard, he probably knew that we would try to get as far away as possible in as little time. Which would have lead him right to the airport which is where we were caught. He's an ass, but not a stupid one."

Cin provided sounding on edge, which is a first because I swear that boy has a calm that could rival Charlie's.

And that's saying something.

Basically we all knew we were screwed and that it was just a matter of divine time before they caught up with us.

We have the worst luck in the entire fucking world didn't we?

"Well it seems this is the end huh?"

Bones stated finally breaking our brooding silence, in which we were all contemplating the very terrible things that were going to happen to us in a matter of hours.

He smiled in that strange creepy way that told you he was going to do something stupid.

"Let's not go down without a fight, shall we? Id hate to tarnish our reps by just giving up."

Surprisingly, this made us all smile.

Why? Who knew? And for that matter. Who cared? We were insane anyways.

But in truth I think it was because we knew that we were going to get caught, so instead of spending our last few blessed moments of freedom worrying like hell we mid-as-well enjoy it and give Satan a run for his damn money.

I'm starting to sound like some sort of insane rebel.

Sirens sounded behind us, proving the accusation that we were indeed going to be caught correct on all terms, and I felt the car jut forth with a tremendous burst of speed.

When we all started screaming in joy and laughing hysterically is beyond me. I guess there's something in throwing yourself down potentially lethal stretches of highways going a speed that was surly illegal while being chased by cops and a psycho nurse that just got ones adrenaline pumping.

Or.. it could be the after-effect of one of the pills we were put on or the drugs and alcohol we had ingested the previous night.

As you may have imagined we didn't care much.

_You should care… disgusting boy….. their going to get you…_

Yeah I know. Nose off.

It was a real shame our fun didn't last more then two hours at the most, in which time we had drawn a lovely audience of muggels who thought we were just a bunch of mentally unstable teens who had god forsakenly escaped from an asylum and got a car.

And they were right. Though The helicopter and news crews was bit much.. in my opinion at least.

But.. then again maybe muggels react so fast to situations like this because they have no life and find this sort of thing entertaining.

I know I sure as hell would of if I wasn't directly connected to said situation.

But, as we knew it would, the car did eventually run out of gas and came to a complete stop in the middle of the road refusing to move further or take anymore abuse.

The whole adrenaline of the chase was gone now and left us close to indifferent as we just sat there waiting for whatever was going to happen to happen.

It was useless to start panicking now. We had a whole bunch of that to deal with later once we got back to Needleburg and the wrath of Adam begun.

So for now we just went along with it as they practically manhandled us out of the car and into these cramped little flashing police cars set to take us.. somewhere or other.

Fun? Oh yeah, if your idea of fun was listening to a fat ugly guy spout out information that was stupid and pointless while a blond psycho lurked around shooting hate at you from his eyes.

And if you seriously find that to be fun then you belong right up in the asylum beside me.

Three hours, six headaches, eight people bitching in our faces, four calls to four sets of parents, Bick's droning lecture, and a serious dose of regret later I sat alone in Takkens office awaiting my family to arrive.

We had been separated for an hour now, all six of us considering they also split up the twins, and I had no doubt the others were in the same position as me sitting with a counselor and waiting for those fucked up people who gave birth to our demented selves to show up and tell us what failures we are.

As if we couldn't figure it out on our own.

Which we could.

"I can't believe you. I want to help you so badly Ron, but if you continue like this I can't."

In my case, the counselor I was set with was the one Dr. Shelly. To whom had done nothing for me but plunge my life down to an all-time low and make me feel a lot worse about myself by putting me on some sort of concentrated guilt trip from hell.

And that's a serious accomplishment, mind you, for the fact that I didn't even think it was possible to loath myself anymore then I already did.

She must be very proud of herself.

_You knew this would happen… you knew you couldn't get away with it…. You don't have the brains to pull off something like running away……_

"Go to hell."

And that was directed at both the bug lady and the voice so I felt no need to give any explanation for my outburst when Shelly stopped dead in the middle of a sentence I wasn't even listening to.

"I think you have some denial and anger issues Mr. Weasley, and you'll never be cured unless you let them go."

Oh my god. Can you believe this? Now they think I have an 'anger problem'. Where do they get the nerve to lock me up in a fucking mad house asylum and just expect me to have a great attitude about it. Anyone would be angry in my position.

The happiest person on the planet would be furious if they were put in here.

"Cured. You make it sound easy. Like there's a pill that will just make it go away. Aww, poor you, your depressed and psychotic. Here's a happy pill, have a nice day."

I bit out, mad at everything. And no that's not because I have an anger problem, it's because I'm surrounded by people who don't understand jack shit about me and yet still have the power to 'diagnose' my 'illnesses'.

You'd be pissed off to.

"Ron. Oh Ronnie."

While I was having a mental argument with myself over weather or not I should throw something at the bug lady my mother seems to have busted through the door in a fit of concern and preceded to strangle me into her bosom.

Most unpleasant considering I can't breath in anything but the cotton of her shirt.

From what I could see over my mothers shoulder however, Bill and my father were also present.

Joy.

I knew they would eventually show up, but I was kind of hoping that somewhere along their way here that a gigantic monster of doom would just pop up from no where and tell them to turn around or he'll devour their souls.

Why am I so screwed up?

_Because…_

Don't fucking answer that.

It didn't last to long though as with many things surrounding my mother, her temper soon overcame any worry she may have had for her poor corrupted child and her vengeance brewed forth.

"What do you think you were playing at? We were all worried sick about you, you have no idea. Message stating you've just gone and disappeared.. destroyed that poor mans car.."

I had to take a moment here and wonder who this 'poor man' was. Because as far as I knew the only car I had destroyed was Adams and he wasn't exactly what I would deem a 'poor man'.

So either my mother has no idea what she's talking about. Or I have an imposter who's going about and totaling cars at random.

Yay for me.

_Stupid boy……_

"And know we've been informed that we can't take you home because you're too sick to leave the guardianship of the asylum. Oh Ron.. we just want you home.. we want you better.. And every time we get close you pull something and get us back to square one…"

Of course. _I_ get _us_ back to square one. When the hell is everyone going to figure out that this isn't about _them_.

"I'm so sorry for taking some of your time. Why don't you just disown me like every other parent whose kid's in this place and leave me the fuck alone."

It was silent for a moment, in which my mother and father looked affronted and Bill looked irritated. They didn't expect me to say something like that, I didn't even expect me to say something like that. But you know what, I'm past giving a shit what comes out of my mouth because they can't do anything else to me that hasn't already been done.

"What has gotten into you."

Dad demanded grasping my very shocked mum by the hand in what almost seemed to be desperation.

I was tempted to growl that insanity and Adam is what's _gotten __into me_, but fitfully bit my tongue.

It was then Bill decided to add his own speculation in, declaring that is was quote 'those people he hangs out with… the black haired boy and the others…'

That was enough to snap the small amount of self-control I had on myself.

"Screw you."

I screamed, probably a lot louder then I needed to, standing up and promptly sending my chair to the floor in a resounding crash.

"Who the fuck do you think you are? You don't know anything about them. There my friends."

"Friends that seem to have a ball getting you in trouble Ron. You weren't like this at home."

Bill shot back, his eyes flaring slightly as his warring patience was tested.

"No I wasn't. I was worse at home but nobody cared to realize it. Your just fucking pissed because for once in my life I fit in a people understand me, and you hate it don't you. You hate that I have people who care about me now. Well fuck you, I didn't ask for you to come here, I don't even want you here and I don't give a shit if I see any of you ever again."

Maybe I do have anger problems…

I stomped to the door in heated silence not looking at any of them and trying to take a leaf out of Rage's book and put the whole 'talk to me a die' attitude into my aura.

Which I probably failed at but I don't think anyone could fully do the bad attitude bit better then Rage.

_Disgrace…… die… end it….._

"And my name is _Doll_."

I added with one more vicious snap before slamming the door shut and taking off down the hall as fast as my bony ass legs would take me.

I was going to go find Envy and the others then…. um.. we were… um… oh who fucking cares.

Lets just concentrate on one thing at a time, I seriously need to stop overloading my brain before I curl up in a ball and stay like that for the rest of my cursed life.

And yes it is cursed, because seriously how is it that no matter what I do everything always fucks up for me.

Though I do have to say that I was feeling damn proud of myself for telling off Bill.

Jerk.

He deserved everything I said, and I only wished Fred was there so he would get his fill of my hate while I was in pissed mode. Because now that I was stuck back in Needleburg I was going to go back on pills, which meant my emotional disorder would be back in full swing and no one knew just how long I would stay pissed until I became depressed again.

Being mentally unstable is lovely, no?

I did eventually find Envy, who seemed to be having an epileptic fit of anger just like me and had stormed out of Bicks office just as I had in Takkens only minutes before, mumbling about how ignorant his parents were and other things that I couldn't decipher properly.

Rage joined us moments later looking homicidal as he too was in Bicks office for the fact that his parents were dead, and Envy's parents were his guardians.

Much to his dislike I assure you.

Skin and Bones seemed to have gotten off easy for they weren't at all disturbed and looked pretty damn normal when we found them. Sitting in the hall and obviously waiting for us.

"Why aren't you two angry or crying."

Envy demanded of them at once, looking as though he would give the something to cry about if they didn't come up with a damn good explanation for their calm demeanor.

Did I ever mention that Envy was damn scary when he was pissed? And now I could fully see his relation to Rage.

They shrugged.

"Our parents didn't give a shit, they were just displeased that we hadn't managed to die when we were out."

And here comes my mood swing, right back down to depressed. I really did have a better family then the rest of them. This made me wonder how it was I had more mental illnesses then them.

Life's fucked up.

Cin, however, got the worse of the deal. He showed up an hour later with a split open lip and a large bruise across his cheek.

From his dead-beat dad, no doubt. I was still yet to meet this infamous asshole of a man but from what I hear he was worse then Adam on some points and a hard alcoholic.

I think I may have strangled Cin in a hug after I saw him, I'm not really all to sure though for I was stunned into a state of unknowingness at the thought that any man could be so cruel to their own blood.

"I cant believe he beta you."

I stated in a near whisper, once we had all assembled ourselves in the bathroom of our wing having skillfully dodged all questions and the like of our fellow insane.

I pressed a cool rag to the side of Cin's face as he just gave me a smile and stated that he was used to it and it was nothing big.

There was no doubt that I was about to blow up and demand that it was a big deal and he shouldn't be used to it, but was silence by a finger pressed gently to my lips and Cin's perfect smile.

I love him. If I ever manage to be half as strong as he is Ill be more then proud of myself.

_He's not strong… he's in an asylum.. no.. he's just like you.. weak.. pathetic…_

I wonder how hard I would have to back my head into the porcelain sink to shut than damn thing up.

"I'm really sorry you guys. I never expected us to be caught that soon.. If we would have just made it out of the country we would have been home free."

Bones stated sounding serious and somber for probably the first time in his life and only nodded when we assured him we didn't blame either of them at all.

He was situatied to the left of me, sitting on the floor with Skin leaning against his side looking worse for the wear and it was the first time I realized the bags under his eyes.

I had never really took notice of the fact that the twins were having problems of their own, I always brushed them off as a creepier version of Fred and George but now that I actually take the time to look at them they were just like me. In pain and practically disowned from families that didn't understand them.

None of our families understood. That's why asylums exist to begin with. Because people who 'aren't sick' don't know how to deal with us. So they just lock us up somewhere and move on pretending like we don't exist.

"You guys are the only family I need."

I don't know if they knew what I was talking about, or if they wondered why such a random line seemed to pop out of my mouth but they all agreed none-the-less.

Probably because we knew that no one would ever understand or see us the way we saw each other.

"So what do we do now. Its only a matter of time before its lights out and Adam will be looking for us."

Envy stated breaking our mini-silence with the topic we had all been trying to avoid.

Adam would come after us, this we knew. We also knew that he was going to be brutal in his revenge for his precious car and making him look bad.

And we had no wear else to run. There was no hiding places in an asylum and there wa no one we could go to.

We knew we were at a dead end.

We were just trying to ignore it….

_You cant.. oh he'll get you… he'll tear you to pieces.. shatter you.. break you…_

The voice is very pleased, as if you couldn't tell.

Cin moved the rag on his cheek, tossing to it be forgotten in some sink or other and took a deep sign whilst pulling me into his chest.

"We wait."

-------------------

I do wonder what it is that Adam is going to do to them **D:**  
I guess we'll find out next chapter, ne?

Much Love  
-Elixier


	25. Chapter 24

Broken Beyond Compare

Elixier has finally gotten off her lazy ass and updated!  
**D:**  
Shocking I know.

This is the long awaited chapter of Adams revenge. And so therefore it goes without speaking that the warnings shall yet again make an appearance.

**:Warnings: **Self Mutilation : Attempted Suicide : Sexual Content : Rape : Molestation : Incest : Chan-cest : Yaoi : Swearing : Drug Use :

YES! See that people?? **READ IT**!! Love it, **listen to it**. This chapter is dark and while it's not as detailed as I was originally going to make it (I made sure to cut out the gory parts I was going to put in because I really don't want to make you guys puke), it's still quite bad.

SO!! Since you have been rightfully informed of what's going to happen I will hopefully not be getting any more of those lovely reviews and emails telling me how my story has scared your innocent mind and how I failed to 'warn' you properly.

Enjoy.

-------------------

Chapter 24

-------------------

So it began. The slow countdown till lights-out.

And it wasn't only us who knew this either, a few other 'patients' had come into the bathroom we currently had ourselves assembled in, each of them giving us these looks that were an odd mix of sympathy, knowing, and a sense of wonder.

Wondering where it was they were going to find our dead bodies the next morning no doubt.

_I hope he does kill you…. If you can't end your pathetic life someone else needs to……._

For someone... or something... who gave me the directions on how to end my life that ended up in those failed attempts, you're pretty fucking cocky.

9 minutes left…..

_You know it was your fault… you didn't do it right… you never do anything right….._

How the hell was I suppose to…. why the hell am I arguing with a goddamn voice?

I scowled at myself for once again talking to it. I really shouldn't, considering that talking to it probably makes it stronger…but it's just so hard not to….

The voice is kind of like those people who waltz about as if they are a god and know everything about everyone. You know the kind of person you just want to punch or hex into next year.

Like Draco Malfoy.

Though I must admit the thought of a mini Malfoy sitting in my head is disconcerting on a large level.

7 minutes left.

I took a deep breath trying to calm myself so I wasn't on the verge of throwing up from being more nervous then any person should.

Can you blame me though? I mean being faced with the possibility of a brutal death has got to dance upon most peoples nerve lines.

5 minutes left.

Dead silence was around us now, everyone but our own lovingly screwed selves had gone and firmly hid themselves away from the halls and the like. Tucking themselves away in their safe, itchy, blankets.

They knew what was going to happen and so did we.

3 minutes left.

The familiar echo of 'lights out' was heard through the desolate halls as was part of the never-ending routine of the hell asylum. I could almost see the nurse's station with all its little switches for nearly everything in this place.

Oh yeah. Doesn't it make you feel completely secure that you have people like Adam controlling and watching every fucking thing you do?

Lovely.

20 seconds.

And all went dark.

No one seemed to be breathing at that moment, sweaty hands clutched tightly within each others as we waited.

Waited for a sound, any sound to break the silence around us. We knew it wouldn't be long and I'm pretty sure we were all very surprised that we hadn't been jumped the minute the lights had flicked out.

We had never known the head nurse from haties to have patience. In fact, we were pretty damn sure he didn't even know what that word meant.

The distinct sound of shoes clicking against the tiled floors of the halls drew our attention at once. It was clear that there was more the one person walking, unless of course that one person had more legs then should be normal.

Which I don't doubt considering I talk to my head.

_He's coming……_

As if I couldn't tell on my own.

It was only a few agonizing minutes before the door was pushed open revealing the head nurse in all his sadistic glory.

And it seemed he just couldn't contain the gigantic amount of fun that he was going to have destroying us to just himself. So he brought two friends to join in.

Oh how thoughtful of him. Sharing his sex toys with his friends, his mother would be so fucking proud.

One was extremely tall with enough muscles to crack both mine and Envy's skulls at the same time. He had spiky platinum blond hair that stood out oddly next to Adam's dirty blond mop. He also had brown eyes that were almost too amused at the site of the six of us. I had seen him before, walking through the halls or doing other things. His name was Drew Grea and he had always struck me as creepy.

_You think everyone is creepy… you're the creepy one… you're the unstable one….._

The other I had never seen before. Which either meant that he was new, or Adam had brought him in specially for this event.

Joy.

"Well, well, well. Waiting for me were you. Id hate to think that you guys thought I would just let you go scotch free after what you did to my fucking car."

He bit out walking fully into the dark bathroom, and snapping the door shut with a slam and click of a lock that seemed to shout to us that there was no chance we were getting away.

"I didn't know cars could fuck."

Bones stated almost innocently causing all six of us to snigger.

I think it was more for the fact that we were scared out of our minds that we laughed, rather then the statement actually being too funny.

Why am I analyzing why I laughed when I'm about to get raped? That makes me more crazy then I was before, doesn't it?

_Yes._

Butt Out.

We expected to be raped, beaten, and hurt in ways we couldn't even fantasize about (though technically we probably could fantasize about it given our 'sanity challenged' mental state), and we expected to be spat on and treated like dirt.

What we didn't expect however, was to be separated.

I guess some stupid inner part of our mind came up with the idea that we were all going to be literally screwed in the same room. Though I'm not sure why we even bother to trust what we think anymore.

We got split into groups of two. The head nurse's new sidekick took hold of Skin and Bones, practically tossing them into the hallway to be lead somewhere or other. Me and Envy were sized by Adam, being dragged to our feet by our hair and lead off to the right, only briefly catching a glimpse of Rage and Cin leaping to our defense before both were pushed back against the wall by the body builder that was Drew.

Never in my life did I think I would ever see one man able to hold back both Rage and Cin without help.

Then again. I never really thought I would be put into an asylum either.

_You don't think…. You wouldn't even know how…_

It's a sad moment when you have no choice but to agree with the voice in your head.

My scalp was on fire and horribly complaining for the torture it had been through when Adam finally released his hold on our hair, dropping us like we were dirty rags in his 'selected rape location.'

Which turned out to be the gym. Which was now somehow home to jump ropes and weird sticks that I was quite sure were never there before.

Oh Yay. I'm stuck in a room with a pissed off sadistic bastard, rope, and poles.

Don't you just wish you were me.

Sarcasm is the cure to everything. Though apparently it doesn't work on mental illnesses.

Shame.

Before we even un-crumpled ourselves from the floor Adam was upon us, tying our hands up behind our back with what I could only assume was a plastic jump rope. Tight as well, I could feel the material dig into my skin in a way that made the blood in my veins rush. The pain was intense and the muscles within my arms were in complete uproar nearly making me smile in its throbbing.

This makes me a masochist doesn't it? Or.. you know it could just make me crazy.

Well.. crazier anyways.

_You sick little slut…….._

The fact that the voice sounded happy was what was really worrying me at the moment. Do you think he can see the future?

I rolled my eyes and almost sighed at myself when that question popped into mind. Honestly how fucked up are you when you start to question weather or not the ''inexistent'' voice in your head can magically see into the future.

I made a mental note, oh the irony, to tell this to Envy once we were done getting intensely abused.

If indeed we were still alive. If not Ill just have to tell him when we get to hell.

You know what would really suck? If we died and went to hell, and it was exactly like this asylum.

My pathetic and useless thoughts were ended once I felt my cloths be haphazardly ripped off. I watched the material go to the floor in tattered pieces being joined by Envy's only minutes later till we were both completely nude.

The idea that I should struggle a bit came to mind, make things a bit harder for him. But then the instinct to survive took over and quite plainly shouted to me to keep fucking still and take it if I want breath another day.

You have to wonder where that instinct was when I was trying to kill myself. Because should it have appeared then, I might not be here.

Envy seemed to be on the same track for he didn't even bother to blink when his cloths were ripped off, leaving him completely open before the psycho. I guess he was used to it by now, and that mere thought made me hurt.

Because he shouldn't have to be used to it.

_You will be used to it soon as well…. You'll never get away.. it'll never end.._

The sound of our knees hitting the floor as we were shoved down was loud and echoed through the entire room. Not only was I sure that there would be two black bruises forming there I was also quite positive we had fractured our knees caps as the pain was far to immense for just a bruise. And I could tell the black haired boy felt it by the struck look on his face.

"You thought you could just run away huh? Though you'd get away with stealing a car and leaving. Well let me tell you something my pretty bitches…"

Adam drawled out, yanking our shoulders roughly to where me and Envy were facing each other.

Naked, hands tied behind our back, on our knees, in front of a madman.

Life is good, no?

He kneeled down to he was dangerously close to the sides of our faces, a cruel smirk adorning his ugly face as he licked his lips.

"You will never fucking get away. You two freaks are gone be locked up till the day you die. I don't care what they told you, but you cant be fixed.. not now. Not ever."

He stood then and walked off somewhere behind my back as I sat and listened to the merciless sound of the voice in my head agreeing with everything Adam had just uttered.

An overwhelming feeling of sorrow entered me then, and I really couldn't say why. I mean I knew I was unfixable, I told myself that daily.. Maybe it was just the fact that no one had ever told me that to my face.

I knew it, I just didn't want to be told. Truths are better when there left unspoken, At least in my opinion.

My sorrow quickly turned to fear though once I saw Envy's eyes widen with horror, looking at something going on behind me.

I had never seen him look like that before, and just as I was about to ask what was wrong I felt something hit my back with enough force to clear knock me into Envy.

The pain was unimaginable and the scream that left my lips could not have been stopped even if I wanted it too. Tear ran freely down my face and I literally felt as though my back had been split open.

It wasn't until Adam walked out from behind me and moved behind Envy that I realized I had been struck with a thin metal pole. No bigger then a broomstick handle with just the same width.

Another scream racked the air as the grueling pole was brought down on Envy's back with a loud snap of metal against skin.

The pain was too blinding for either of us to realize the blood trickling down our backs, but I doubted we would've cared.

_You deserve this…. .. you both deserve this…_

"Aww. I thought you two liked pain. That's why you're here isn't it? Because you wanted this. Don't pretend that you don't like it you sluts. You know you do."

Adam almost sung out in mad pleasure at seeing us both reduced to tears. All I heard was a splitting of air before fire broke out across my back as I took another hit. Then Envy took another hit.

It went on like that till we had both laid face down on the floor in a growing ocean of our own tears and blood. My shoulders ached from having my arms tied so tightly at the odd angle they were, my back didn't even feel like skin anymore. My legs burned from receiving the same hits from that fucking piece of metal and I was sure I had more then a fair share of broken bones and lacerated skin.

It wasn't over yet though.

I knew this well when my fuzzy mind picked up the sound of a zipper being pulled.

He couldn't possibly rape us now.. not after all that. Weren't we punished enough? Hadn't we dealt enough of his torture.

A new wave of tears burst out at the whole unfairness of the situation. We didn't deserve this.

_Yes…. Yes you do……_

I was only dimly aware that Adam was hovering over me until I felt him enter me with a fierce thrust, his hands going right to my torn back to give himself support.

My scream was earth-shattering, only interrupted by the metallic wave of blood that filled my mouth from the harsh intrusion and abuse of my body.

The mix of the horrifying mutilation of my back and the undying power of Adam practically ripping me from the inside out had left me wishing for death more prominently then ever before.

I felt even worse for Envy, who had to watch this knowing he was next.

A half an hour later Adam walked out leaving us bound and near to death on the floor. I couldn't hear the voice anymore and my vision was cloudy. The only thing I could see was Envy who was lying not two inches from me in a mix of his blood and my own.

Though however screwed up my site may be, it seemed my other senses were working perfectly. I could hear the dripping of my blood to the floor, and the sounds of our mingled shallow breaths. And I could feel every part of my body more so then ever and the pain was seemingly intensifying.

"What if we die hear…. Envy."

I don't know how I forced the words out or how the ability to talk was still with me when my throat felt inflamed and shredded, but I did.

Envy's eyes turned to me his electric blue pupils stained red from blood as I was sure my own were. And I don't think I was ever so amazed then when I actually heard him reply.

"There's no one else, Id rather die beside."

-------------------

There we have it!

I'm hoping to have the next chapter up sooner then I did this one and I'm really sorry as I know I'm taking forever in this and I just want to let you all know that I seriously am trying to get these two you as fast as possible.

Reviews are always adored.

Much Love  
-Elixier


	26. Chapter 24 Original Gore Version

Broken Beyond Compare

**PLEASE READ THIS. or else... **  
Ok. So I knew the previous chapter was puny. And I'm here to inform you all that it wasn't meant to be that way.

This is the **ORIGINAL** 24th Chapter that I chopped up to create the previous one.

Why did I cut it?

Because I've been told I make people sick with my cruel images. So I tried to make everyone happy by cutting out some of the more gory parts of this chap.

But that didn't work well as then people said that it wasn't 'enough'.

So fine. Here's the original. And if indeed you were one of those people who wanted more I hope this suits you! (I had a hell of a time writing it **:D** But that's only because I have a very demented mind… I could have done worse.. trust me )

And if you were one of those people who are made sick and are essentially freaked out by my writing take the loving time to scoot on back to the other version of Chapter 24 and read that instead ok? Ok!

**:Warnings: **Self Mutilation : Attempted Suicide : Sexual Content : Rape : Molestation : Incest : Chan-cest : Yaoi : Swearing : Drug Use :

Take note of the **WARNING** line above this. Once again, its there for a reason people I swear if one person tells me they missed the warning Ill stab them with my pencil **D:**

Joy.

-------------------

Chapter 24

-------------------

So it began. The slow countdown till lights-out.

And it wasn't only us who knew this either, a few other 'patients' had come into the bathroom we currently had ourselves assembled in, each of them giving us these looks that were an odd mix of sympathy, knowing, and a sense of wonder.

Wondering where it was they were going to find our dead bodies the next morning no doubt.

_I hope he does kill you…. If you can't end your pathetic life someone else needs to……._

For someone... or something... who gave me the directions on how to end my life that ended up in those failed attempts, you're pretty fucking cocky.

9 minutes left…..

_You know it was your fault… you didn't do it right… you never do anything right….._

How the hell was I suppose to…. why the hell am I arguing with a goddamn voice?

I scowled at myself for once again talking to it. I really shouldn't, considering that talking to it probably makes it stronger…but it's just so hard not to….

The voice is kind of like those people who waltz about as if they are a god and know everything about everyone. You know the kind of person you just want to punch or hex into next year.

Like Draco Malfoy.

Though I must admit the thought of a mini Malfoy sitting in my head is disconcerting on a large level.

7 minutes left.

I took a deep breath trying to calm myself so I wasn't on the verge of throwing up from being more nervous then any person should.

Can you blame me though? I mean being faced with the possibility of a brutal death has got to dance upon most peoples nerve lines.

5 minutes left.

Dead silence was around us now, everyone but our own lovingly screwed selves had gone and firmly hid themselves away from the halls and the like. Tucking themselves away in their safe, itchy, blankets.

They knew what was going to happen and so did we.

3 minutes left.

The familiar echo of 'lights out' was heard through the desolate halls as was part of the never-ending routine of the hell asylum. I could almost see the nurse's station with all its little switches for nearly everything in this place.

Oh yeah. Doesn't it make you feel completely secure that you have people like Adam controlling and watching every fucking thing you do?

Lovely.

20 seconds.

And all went dark.

No one seemed to be breathing at that moment, sweaty hands clutched tightly within each others as we waited.

Waited for a sound, any sound to break the silence around us. We knew it wouldn't be long and I'm pretty sure we were all very surprised that we hadn't been jumped the minute the lights had flicked out.

We had never known the head nurse from Hades to have patience. In fact, we were pretty damn sure he didn't even know what that word meant.

The distinct sound of shoes clicking against the tiled floors of the halls drew our attention at once. It was clear that there was more the one person walking, unless of course that one person had more legs then should be normal.

Which I don't doubt considering I talk to my head.

_He's coming……_

As if I couldn't tell on my own.

It was only a few agonizing minutes before the door was pushed open revealing the head nurse in all his sadistic glory.

And it seemed he just couldn't contain the gigantic amount of fun that he was going to have destroying us to just himself. So he brought two friends to join in.

Oh how thoughtful of him. Sharing his sex toys with his friends, his mother would be so fucking proud.

One was extremely tall with enough muscles to crack both mine and Envy's skulls at the same time. He had spiky platinum blond hair that stood out oddly next to Adam's dirty blond mop. He also had brown eyes that were almost too amused at the site of the six of us. I had seen him before, walking through the halls or doing other things. His name was Drew Grea and he had always struck me as creepy.

_You think everyone is creepy… you're the creepy one… you're the unstable one….._

The other I had never seen before. Which either meant that he was new, or Adam had brought him in specially for this event.

Joy.

"Well, well, well. Waiting for me were you. Id hate to think that you guys thought I would just let you go scotch free after what you did to my fucking car."

He bit out walking fully into the dark bathroom, and snapping the door shut with a slam and click of a lock that seemed to shout to us that there was no chance we were getting away.

"I didn't know cars could fuck."

Bones stated almost innocently causing all six of us to snigger.

I think it was more for the fact that we were scared out of our minds that we laughed, rather then the statement actually being too funny.

Why am I analyzing why I laughed when I'm about to get raped? That makes me more crazy then I was before, doesn't it?

_Yes._

Butt Out.

We expected to be raped, beaten, and hurt in ways we couldn't even fantasize about (though technically we probably could fantasize about it given our 'sanity challenged' mental state), and we expected to be spat on and treated like dirt.

What we didn't expect however, was to be separated.

I guess some stupid inner part of our mind came up with the idea that we were all going to be literally screwed in the same room. Though I'm not sure why we even bother to trust what we think anymore.

We got split into groups of two. The head nurse's new sidekick took hold of Skin and Bones, practically tossing them into the hallway to be lead somewhere or other. Me and Envy were sized by Adam, being dragged to our feet by our hair and lead off to the right, only briefly catching a glimpse of Rage and Cin leaping to our defense before both were pushed back against the wall by the body builder that was Drew.

Never in my life did I think I would ever see one man able to hold back both Rage and Cin without help.

Then again. I never really thought I would be put into an asylum either.

_You don't think…. You wouldn't even know how…_

It's a sad moment when you have no choice but to agree with the voice in your head.

My scalp was on fire and horribly complaining for the torture it had been through when Adam finally released his hold on our hair, dropping us like we were dirty rags in his 'selected rape location.'

Which turned out to be the gym. Which was now somehow home to jump ropes and weird sticks that I was quite sure were never there before.

Oh Yay. I'm stuck in a room with a pissed off sadistic bastard, rope, and poles.

Don't you just wish you were me.

Sarcasm is the cure to everything. Though apparently it doesn't work on mental illnesses.

Shame.

Before we even un-crumpled ourselves from the floor Adam was upon us, tying our hands up behind our back with what I could only assume was a plastic jump rope. Tight as well, I could feel the material dig into my skin in a way that made the blood in my veins rush. The pain was intense and the muscles within my arms were in complete uproar nearly making me smile in its throbbing.

This makes me a masochist doesn't it? Or.. you know it could just make me crazy.

Well.. crazier anyways.

_You sick little slut…….._

The fact that the voice sounded happy was what was really worrying me at the moment. Do you think he can see the future?

I rolled my eyes and almost sighed at myself when that question popped into mind. Honestly how fucked up are you when you start to question weather or not the ''inexistent'' voice in your head can magically see into the future.

I made a mental note, oh the irony, to tell this to Envy once we were done getting intensely abused.

If indeed we were still alive. If not Ill just have to tell him when we get to hell.

You know what would really suck? If we died and went to hell, and it was exactly like this asylum.

My pathetic and useless thoughts were ended once I felt my cloths be haphazardly ripped off. I watched the material go to the floor in tattered pieces being joined by Envy's only minutes later till we were both completely nude.

The idea that I should struggle a bit came to mind, make things a bit harder for him. But then the instinct to survive took over and quite plainly shouted to me to keep fucking still and take it if I want breath another day.

You have to wonder where that instinct was when I was trying to kill myself. Because should it have appeared then, I might not be here.

Envy seemed to be on the same track for he didn't even bother to blink when his cloths were ripped off, leaving him completely open before the psycho. I guess he was used to it by now, and that mere thought made me hurt.

Because he shouldn't have to be used to it.

_You will be used to it soon as well…. You'll never get away.. it'll never end.._

The sound of our knees hitting the floor as we were shoved down was loud and echoed through the entire room. Not only was I sure that there would be two black bruises forming there I was also quite positive we had fractured our knees caps as the pain was far to immense for just a bruise. And I could tell the black haired boy felt it by the struck look on his face.

"You thought you could just run away huh? Though you'd get away with stealing a car and leaving. Well let me tell you something my pretty bitches…"

Adam drawled out, yanking our shoulders roughly to where me and Envy were facing each other.

Naked, hands tied behind our back, on our knees, in front of a madman.

Life is good, no?

He kneeled down to he was dangerously close to the sides of our faces, a cruel smirk adorning his ugly face as he licked his lips.

"You will never fucking get away. You two freaks are going to be locked up till the day you die. I don't care what they told you, but you cant be fixed.. not now. Not ever."

He stood then and walked off somewhere behind my back as I sat and listened to the merciless sound of the voice in my head agreeing with everything Adam had just uttered.

An overwhelming feeling of sorrow entered me then, and I really couldn't say why. I mean I knew I was unfixable, I told myself that daily.. Maybe it was just the fact that no one had ever told me that to my face.

I knew it, I just didn't want to be told. Truths are better when there left unspoken, At least in my opinion.

My sorrow quickly turned to fear though once I saw Envy's eyes widen with horror, looking at something going on behind me.

I had never seen him look like that before, and just as I was about to ask what was wrong I felt something hit my back with enough force to clear knock me into Envy.

The pain was unimaginable and the scream that left my lips could not have been stopped even if I wanted it too. Tears ran freely down my face and I literally felt as though my back had been split open.

It wasn't until Adam walked out from behind me and moved behind Envy that I realized I had been struck with a thin metal pole. No bigger then a broomstick handle with just the same width.

Another scream racked the air as the grueling pole was brought down on Envy's back with a loud snap of metal against skin.

The pain was too blinding for either of us to realize the blood trickling down our backs, but I doubted we would've cared.

_You deserve this…. .. you both deserve this…_

"Aww. I thought you two liked pain. That's why you're here isn't it? Because you wanted this. Don't pretend that you don't like it you sluts. You know you do."

Adam almost sung out in mad pleasure at seeing us both reduced to tears. All I heard was a splitting of air before fire broke out across my back as I took another hit. Then Envy took another hit.

It went on like that till we finally heard the distant clang of the metal poles being blissfully throne to the floor.

By then our backs, the backs of or legs and a slight portion of our arms were beyond being fixed. I was sure they would have to amputate something and at the moment I didn't care. If they cut it off at least I wouldn't be feeling the pain that was coursing through me.

God please let that be it, please?

It wasn't.

Adam returned moments later and untied my arms that had been previously bound behind me, binding them in front instead. It was truly a horrifying site, my arms. The rope had cut lines along my wrists and I was in no doubt they would go deeper once the jump rope was re-tied.

But the most horrid thing was the fact that I had a series of deep bleeding welts going up my arm all the way to my shoulder blades, leaving me looking like I was wearing deep red gloves. Honestly there wasn't even a patch of my once clean arms that wasn't currently stained with my blood.

And while that would have been a lovely site for me had I done it myself, the fact that Adam did it made it ugly and horrible.

Not to mention the extreme jolt of pain I felt when my arms were moved causing the shredded skin on my back to expand in the most unpleasant of ways.

I was on all fours now, my hands bound in front of me miraculously keeping me from falling on my face, which I decided to ponder over for a minute until I felt my legs being roughly shoved apart and something fastened to my ankles

That struck a panic in me and even though the mere thought of moving hurt I tried to push my legs back together to at least give me some sort of less-opened feel.

Though I'm not really sure how you can be 'less open' when it feels like your back has been ripped off and all your organs should be dancing out doing the tango and flicking you off.

_Die…. die……_

Another shot of the lovely panic went through me when I realized that I couldn't close my legs. Something seemed to be blocking it and keeping them forcefully and, may I say, widely open.

Leaning my head down only a little bit to see past my skeletal frame I noted that the things that had previously been fastened around my ankles were two leather straps attached tightly to a stick of some sort that was viciously holding me in this less then pleasant position.

And while I was studying my own horrifying situation I also saw the same device being attached to Envy's ankles, his feet now almost touching mine as we were placed back to back.

Or, more appropriately, ass to ass.

Even someone as fucked up as me could tell that this was leading no where good.

Oh how wonderfully right I was.

I didn't know what Adam got when he left us there in that position, but I got a hell of a view of it when he came back.

It was that moment I decided that my pride could go fuck itself and began to pathetically beg and plead with him to stop.

Envy couldn't see what I could, but I could almost feel him tense behind me knowing that whatever was making the words 'please no' keep rambling from my mouth had to be bad.

What Adam was carrying looked like a very long, studded, metal, pole that was rounded on each side.

And I knew exactly what he was going to do with it.

My pleads seemed to excite him in that sick way only creepy pedophiles could accomplish, moving in between where the two of us were hunched.

The screams that echoed blindly around the room as we were both forced back onto the object between us was enough to wake the dead, I'm sure.

Half of the gruel object inside of me, the other half in Envy. This time the pain couldn't make us ignore the blood seeping down our backsides, or the fact that it wasn't just my blood or his, but it was both of ours. Missing together as it dripped to the floor. Envy's skin felt raw against mine, keeling there feeling our insides be brutalized in unspeakable ways.

I couldn't stop my racking sobs even if I wanted too and I didn't care how pathetic that made me. My body was shaking causing the pain inflicted by the metal bar to grow but I couldn't stop it, It seemed I no longer had any control over anything I was doing.

And that's a scary thing to face when in this position, or any position for that matter.

I heard him laugh, his chuckle shot through the air as if he were doing nothing more then watching a show on the muggle TV thingy, or reading a funny book. It sounded nothing like a man who currently was torturing two fourteen year old asylum patients for his own amusement.

And it made me wonder for just a moment how anyone, even Adam, could be so sick.

Another of our screams rang when Adam gripped my arms and jerked me forward before jerking me back Not only pushing the pole in and out of me, but also in and out of Envy.

A fresh flow of blood came forth at that and I was certain that should I of not been deathly worried about hurting my best friend my arms would f gave out and I would of collapsed right then and there.

I don't know how much longer it was until the item was finally removed from within us leaving us both to lie face down on the floor in a growing ocean of our own tears and blood, but it felt like an eternity.

My shoulders ached from having my arms tied so tightly at the odd angle they were, my back didn't even feel like skin anymore. My legs burned from receiving the same hits from that fucking piece of metal, I was ripped from the inside out and I was sure I had more then a fair share of broken bones and lacerated skin.

Now can it be over? Please.. just let us die.. anything would be better then this.

Why hadn't they heard us screaming? Why was no one coming to save us? Was their some sort of super powerful silence spell that was performed on the walls or did no one care.

The idea that others could hear us and didn't give a shit killed me. Sure, we all had fucking issues with each other and we were all insane but I would have never left someone to deal with this. I would have flung down the hall to help if I heard the screams me and Envy had given.

No one should ever scream like we did, no one should ever have to face what we were facing. And it wasn't over.. it would never be over..

I knew this well when my fuzzy mind picked up the sound of a zipper being pulled.

He couldn't possibly rape us now.. not after all that. Weren't we punished enough? Hadn't we dealt enough of his torture.

A new wave of tears burst out at the whole unfairness of the situation. We didn't deserve this.

_Yes…. Yes you do……_

I was only dimly aware that Adam was hovering over me until I felt him enter me with a fierce thrust, his hands going right to my torn back to give himself support.

My scream was earth-shattering, only interrupted by the metallic wave of blood that filled my mouth from the harsh intrusion and abuse of my already unfixable body.

The mix of the horrifying mutilation of my back and insides along with the undying power of Adams thrusting but my body in a spasm of pain that I had never ever dreamed possible.

I felt even worse for Envy, who had to watch this knowing he was next.

A half an hour later Adam walked out leaving us bound and near to death on the floor. I couldn't hear the voice anymore and my vision was cloudy. The only thing I could see was the crimson of blood and a very hazy object I knew to be Envy.

Though however screwed up my site may be, it seemed my other senses were working perfectly. I could hear the dripping of my blood to the floor, and the sounds of our mingled shallow breaths. And I could feel every part of my body more so then ever and the pain was so fierce not a single word nor mix of them could describe it.

"What if we die hear…. Envy."

I don't know how I forced the words out or how the ability to talk was still with me when my throat felt inflamed and shredded, but I did.

Though it was weak and barley audible to my own ears, I was almost certain he hadn't heard me.

It was a pretty stupid question anyways. Who cared if we died? No one seemed to give a shit that he we had been tortured.

Envy's eyes turned to me his electric blue pupils stained red from blood as I was sure my own were. And I don't think I was ever so amazed then when I actually heard him reply.

"There's no one else, Id rather die beside."

-------------------

There.

You loved it? GREAT!  
You hated it? Not my fault.  
You got sick? You were WARNED. So also not my fault. **D:**

Much Love  
-Elixier


	27. Chapter 25

Broken Beyond Compare

I HAVE RETURNED!!

''pauses for dramatic drum roll'

Yes! I have left the land of computer malfunction ad have entered the world of working technology!

''cheers ecstatically''

And as promised I worked my ass off to get this to you all very quickly! And I am very pleased to say that I got it done in two days! TWO!!

''is clearly proud of herself''

So here it is. The long awaited 25th installment of Broken Beyond Compare. And I want to thank all of you who have been patiently waiting for this and who have stuck with me though the darker times **D:**

I hope you enjoy it.

-------------------

Chapter 25

-------------------

The first thing I saw was a bright light and a pristine off-white ceiling.

The first thing I felt was immense pain shooting to every inch, oracle, and crevice of my being.

The first thing I remembered was fear and a glove of liquid red.

And my first realization was that I was alive. Which shocked the hell out of me Ill tell you that much.

Through the haze that clouded my vision I could only just make out that I was in the hospital wing of Needleburg. Much to my dismay, I assure you. I would have liked to scream but my mouth felt like it was full of cotton, and I could clearly taste the not so pleasant metallic properties of dried blood that seemed to coat my teeth.

Disgusting? You have no idea.

I couldn't clearly remember all of why I was there though. I knew, without a single doubt, that it had something to do with Adam and that the pain I was currently in was directly his fault. But I just couldn't put the pieces together of what had actually happened.

My ignorance didn't last long though as it was only a few fleetingly clueless moments before all the memories and horror of what had taken place in the gym came cascading upon me. And I was left with the almost desperate need to curl up and cry, should my body of allowed such movement.

Which, as you could guess, it wouldn't.

However another problem jumped into my head before I could carry through with my utter pathetic-ness, that demanded my full attention.

Where was Envy?

A bolt of sheer panic shot through me, and I sat up instantly only to fall, without grace, back onto the paper-like white sheets of the hospital bed in agony. The movement put my body into a spasm of pain, my head began to swim and tears leaked in streams from my eyes. And I don't think I could have restrained the groan that fell through my lips, even if I had given it a decent try.

It did nothing to quench my fears though. I was alive... but was my black haired companion? The thought that he didn't make it through Adams 'session' brought such a sweep of internal misery into me that I actually though I might get sick.

Which considering my current state, wouldn't be all too surprising.

A sound off to the left of me brought my attentions back from such morbid thoughts.

It was strained, and hollow like the voice I imagined phantoms to have, and I could only just make out what seemed to be my name in the midst of the odd mumbling.

Before I could investigate such a sound however, my tear streaked vision was intruded by a tall, clean cut man in a white coat. I almost mistook him for the head nurse but quickly realized that he was much older, and had much darker hair to of possibly been Satan.

Thank god….

"Your up. Its about time, we thought we were going to lose you for awhile kid."

He seemed very relieved that I was back among the conscience, and was also almost genuinely concerned for my current state.

A sympathetic doctor? When the fuck did one of those start working here?

I opened my mouth to ask what had happened and where Envy was, but found that I couldn't make out any words. My throat felt raw and burned something terrible, like I had gulped down a couple gallons of acid. All I could really get out was a low guttural noise that sort of sounded like a really fucked up scream.

Joy.

"Here drink this, you're alright now..."

The man stated helping me take a few gulps of water, that seemed to make my throat burn all the more. But still, it had gotten rid of some of the blood in my mouth, so it wasn't entirely useless.

"Envy..?"

I realized that my voice sounded hollow and strained exactly like that of the mumbling I heard not ten seconds ago.

And you know there's something seriously wrong when the sound of your own voice creeps you the fuck out.

Speaking of voices, I wonder where the one in my head has run off too….. if indeed it possessed the ability to run… which I doubt.

"Your friend is fine Mr. Weasley, now I need you to remain completely still. I'm not allowed to heal you yet, but I'm going to cast a spell that will make you feel no pain. I know you must be in agony right now."

I almost felt like saying 'no shit', but felt that it was better to avoid speaking for the moment. Though it really didn't matter all to much to me, pretty much everything he said after telling me Envy was fine meant less the a speck of dust in a dark corner.

Pretty insignificant, as you can imagine.

Heat rushed through my body at the touch of his wand, and the horrible pain left in an instant, giving me the ability to sit up, albeit gently, and get a baring on what the hell was going on around me.

My first observation was that my arms looked like they had been severed in several places and sewed back together by an unskilled hand. Deep welts lined them in a horrible pattern, I could actually see the muscle through the ripped flesh. Hell I could see the goddam bones through the large openings up near my wrists.

It was gruesome, even in my opinion and may I remind you all that I'm an 'obsessive compulsive self mutilator'. So if I say it's gross, it probably is….

What made it all the more surreal though was the fact that I could see the marks, but I could not feel them. I poked gently at one particularly nasty gash on my shoulder to test this theory.

Not a damn thing. That spell's pretty nifty.

These were obviously the marks from the metal pole we were struck with. And I put one of my hands to my back to investigate the marks there. I could feel the broken skin, my back seeming more like a mutilated piece of meat rather them something belonging to a human, and I quickly abandoned my exploration of the wounds.

The fact that I couldn't feel them made them no less disgusting.

I didn't even look like a human anymore. More like a grotesque mix between a corpse and a skeleton. And I was quite amazed that I hadn't soaked the sheets clear through with blood. Obviously some sort of non-bleeding spell had been caste while I was fitfully passed out.

Good for the laundry crew.

I turned my eyes away from myself, not wanting to see the marks or anything else remotely connected to them only to find another living corpse skeleton in my line of view.

A black haired, blue eyed corpse skeleton to be exact.

I could have screamed in joy.

"Envy."

My voice sounded a bit better since the pain spell, but was still not completely normal. And by the looks of my friend he had been placed upon the same spell and was now sitting up examining the wounds on his arm with quite a disgusted face.

What followed could only be described as an intensely relief filled quiet moment as we both realized that we had survived the ordeal in one piece. One messed up piece, but one piece all the same.

Envy made to get up, as if to come over to my side but the doctor firmly insisted he stay put. However after the struck look we both shot him, he removed the table from between us and pushed our beds together.

A nice and sympathetic doctor….. what the hell was he doing working here?

We both would have hugged onto each other as if life itself depended on it, but neither of us really wanted to feel the mutilated skin covering our bodies, hence we just clasped hands, thankful that the other one wasn't on a cold metal table in a morgue.

Not that we wouldn't be there soon enough. I think Adam will be furious when he finds out were alive.

What's even a worse thought is if he was pleased to find out we were alive. I'd be a real shame if he lost some of his toys now I wouldn't it.

"You know, I expected to wake up in hell. But I must say, that this is much worse."

Envy stated, breaking the content silence that we had shrouded ourselves in. I couldn't help but smile, fully agreeing with him on that point.

"I think God hates us Doll, and damn my throat hurts. How fucking loud did we scream last night?"

That brought another painful thought to mind.

'Envy.. do you think they heard us? Our screaming."

He didn't answer, but the pain in his eyes showed clearly that he was hoping they hadn't, because it was really tough to believe that every soul in our entire wing cared so little that they would sit in their rooms and just listen to our pain.

I didn't want to think about it, and thought it was best for a change of subject. Envy seemed to follow my train of thought.

"What do you think happened to the others Doll?"

"Were fine Envy old buddy old pal."

We looked up to meet the identical eyes of the twin terrors who spread mayhem wherever they walked. And we were never happier to see them.

They however didn't look so happy to see us, in fact when their eyes made contact with our current bruised and cut-up state, something in them changed and their faces fell. Almost as if someone had just informed them that their puppies had died.

Not that I'm sure they ever had a puppy.. and I'm not all too sure they should ever have a puppy either… no telling what would happen to the poor thing in their hands.

They might starve it to death just to make it as skinny as they are.

_Disturbed child_

And the voice returns. Oh happy day….

"What the hell did that bastard do to you."

Bones nearly growled out, his voice betraying all the anger he held in his eyes. Skin was no better, both of them looked homicidal and I could tell that if we allowed them to stay in such a state bad things were sure to happen.

And we really didn't need anything else going wrong now did we?

No we didn't.

_Your entire existence is wrong…_

As is yours, I'm sure.

"What happened to you guys? And Cin and Rage.. are you all ok."

Bones remained lapsed in his heated silence but Skin, whom was the more level-headed of the two shrugged.

The guy who had us just took us into the library, slapped us around a bit and fucked us on the table. Nothing we couldn't handle. It seems he was new to the raping business. Rage and Cin came out with black eyes and a bloodied lip a piece but there not to bad. But you two.. "

He trailed off as if not wanting to think about it, and I had another one of those 'deep moments' where I viciously felt guilty for thinking they were creepy when we first arrived. I also noted the black hand-print on Skin's face, obviously having been slapped there very hard.

They didn't deserve this, we didn't deserve this…

_Yes you do….. you all do….. _

"After our own punishments were done we all went looking for you guys, by the time we got to the gym though there was already a fleet of people there in a panic. They wouldn't let us see you and practically forced us back to out rooms. They literally had to sedate Cin and Rage to keep them from killing someone to get to you. … we thought you were dead."

They moved to sit on the bed then. Bones on Envy's side, Skin on mine their knees were touching our own as if they wanted to make damn sure we weren't just an illusion.

I wanted to hug them very bad all of a sudden, and would have done so if I weren't afraid I would creep them out with my disgustingly lacerated zombie-like body.

And I knew I would, honestly, it creeped me out too.

"We hear you guys screaming.. and then it all went quiet.. it scared us half to death."

Skin added, voice hitching a bit as if the memory pained him.

I instantly felt a wave of nausea hit me, and my stomach wretched in a horrible way.

They had heard us… there was no silencing spells on the door… they heard us. And no one did anything. We screamed ourselves raw.. and no one came.

Were they really that cold? Was this a fucking game to them, was it funny. Did our suffering amuse them in some way?

My stomach gave another painful jerk and before I knew it a gush of blood fell forth from my mouth staining much of the sheets on my lap a dark crimson.

"Are you alright."

Bones asked in panic, obviously thinking something was seriously wrong.

"I'm ok."

I breathed out in as low a whisper as I could manage, I didn't fully trust myself to speak at the moment should another wave of blood come up.

" I can't believe no one came for us…."

Envy said in a voice that mimicked my own, looking as if he himself was fighting back the urge to throw up blood as well.

The twins looked miserable and angry at the same time. It seemed that they too couldn't believe that with the fifty people in this wing, no one of them gave a shit what Adam did.

Which is why he's as powerful as he is. They feed him, and give him the fucking dominance he wants.

"We would have come for you.."

Bones stated, taking one of my hands and one of Envy's into his own. Skin leaning on his shoulder looking as if he might cry.

I shook my head. It wasn't fair to them to feel guilty or sad about it, because no one had come for them either. They left all six of us to deal with him on our own, and they knew what he was going to do.

"All we have is the six of us."

And on that we could all wholeheartedly agree.

"And we almost lost two of that six. When we found out you guys were alive, we almost died from happiness. But we knew whatever happened must have been bad. Really bad, especially considering all that's going on… and now.. after seeing you. Its worse then we thought."

Bone's ended, looking to be in actual physical pain from seeing our condition.

What the hell were they talking about.. considering all that's going on? What did that mean?

"What's been going on?"

Envy asked at once, reading my mind as per usual a look of panic getting rid of the sadness on his face. I knew were he was getting that from.. he feared that whatever was going on had something to do with Adam.

I feared the same.

_I hope it does have something to do with him…. It's nothing you don't deserve. _

Screw you…

_And I would of thought you'd had enough screwing……_

When I find a way to kill that bitch I swear its going down….

"You mean… they didn't tell you?"

Skin stated, a look of horrified shock upon his face. As if us not knowing this information was a personal insult. Bones was equally miffed and they both just gaped at us in disbelief before either felt inclined to bring us up to date.

"What…. What didn't they tell us?"

Me and Envy no less then demanded at the same time, voices pinched with worry.

Anything that shocks the twins into silence was bound to be nothing good.

"Information got out of what happed to you two. This isn't just in the asylum anymore, word got out that one of the nurses is behind this, it went all the way to the ministry of magic. They've got people here already interrogating the patients for information.

They've already drilled us, Cin and Rage. They'll be here to inspect you guys pretty soon now that your awake. This place is in complete lock-up, no one allowed in or out till we get things figured out. And absolutely no one was allowed to come see you guys, but we know more about the passages in this prison then they do, so we came anyways."

If I had any sanity left, I would be losing it now. I was beginning to think Envy had a point in saying God hated us. Because honestly how many times does this happen to an average person? It seemed that within the last forty eight hours my life had hit an all time low, and was getting worse by the second.

Yay for me.

"That would explain why they weren't allowed to heal us…"

Envy said in a small voice, looking as if he wanted to evaporate on spot. I couldn't blame him, the last thing I wanted right now was some ministry official poking at my body.

And I for one, think my body has been through enough at the present moment and didn't need anyone poking about it, thank you very fucking much.

The twins had a right to say that these 'officials' would be here soon, for no less then three minutes later we all heard urgent footsteps and voices from down the hall getting closer by the second.

"Damn.."

I heard one of the twins whisper out in displeasure, and two weights shift off the bed. I failed to pay close attention though because currently my eyes were locked on the door.

And when I did finally manage to pull them away from said door, both Skin and Bones were gone as if they had never been here to begin with.

"How do they do that?"

Envy stated, looking around as if to figure where the hell those two went.. to no avail.

Wherever they disappeared to however, they did it just in time as it wasn't long before the door was pushed open, revealing two tall men in long sweeping black coats. They looked very professional with their slicked back hair and shaved features. They were clean, neat, organized and looked to be the no-nonsense type.

I was instantly reminded of Percy.

Though, to my older brothers' credit, he had more of a heart and warmth to him then the two walking directly toward us, who could have passed off as a much less oily version of Snape.

_I hope they lock you up somewhere dark ……. Where you cant get out……_

You would.

"Mr's, Weasley and Fresia I presume."

The taller of the two stated in a crisp tone that suggested he was here for business, and only business.

You'd think, under the circumstances of their visit, they'd be a tad bit more sympathetic.

Obviously not.

Neither of us said a thing. We knew our options, we could spill our guts and tell the truth, then Adam would be arrested and he would have on of his minion lackeys beat us to death. Or we could stay silent and hope that soon this would all go away.

We opted for the latter, and glued our mouths shut.

Much to the displeasure of our interrogators.

An hour later all our wounds had been checked, documented and healed leaving our skin, blissfully looking like skin again.

And when I say all wounds, I do mean_ all_.

And I thought my day couldn't get worse. Well I assure you that when they physically forced me onto my stomach and shoved some cold piece of thin metal inside of me to "inspect and record internal damages', my day had hit a record low. And I'm not even going to describe the emotional breakdown I had while they did it either…..

I had been raped, beaten, and tortured. Now, they decide to go ahead and shove more things inside of me.

Who the fuck did they think they were?

I was left cold and seething clothed in nothing but a thin T-shirt and a pair of hospital shorts, me and Envy clinging onto each other and both mentally ordering ourselves not to snap.

The two men before us looked unaffected. In fact through our entire inspections they hadn't showed any emotion in the slightest. Not even when me and Envy started crying our eyes out and asking to just be left alone.

Yes, we were pathetic, but we were tiered and really didn't want any of this.

Not that anyone seemed to care. Where were those victim advocate people when you needed them? You know the ones that come and hold your hand and tell you everything will be alright?

In truth I didn't really want them here either, but they would have been a step up from these cold bastards.

"Ill ask you again to tell me what happened and who did this to you."

The two officials were beginning to get slightly frustrated with our lack of answers, you could tell by their voices. Both of us had stuck to the 'glue your mouth shut' choice we had made and hadn't said a damn thing to anyone. It wasn't going to be long before one of the men broke from aggravation.

Maybe then they'd leave us alone.

Yeah right.

The nearest of the two to us leaned over the bed, staring at us directly in the eye, his face twisted into a frown and his eyes set.

"Look here you two, we have been here for an hour already and we have tried to play it cool with you kids but the bottom line is this. We were sent here to get to the bottom of what happened, and we intend to do so. You _are_ going to tell us what went on in that room and who was involved and we are going to help you. Weather you like it or not."

They were threatening us.

The grip me and Envy now had on each other was almost bruising. Not only were these guys cold and heartless.. they were downright scary.

All four of us were completely unaware of the two sets of eyes that darkened slightly with anger in the shadows of the far left corner of Hospital hall.

"Nurse, could you please take these two down to solitary until they loosen their tongues."

With that order shot out, both officials left in a sweep of black fabric to in no doubt terrorize some other poor defenseless insane person.

Not that I cared to much, because mind you none of those 'poor defenseless insane people' seemed to give a flying fuck about us.

Envy was almost crushing me now, fear evident in his eyes as the nurse gathered a few more nurses to escort us to our newest destination.

"Doll.. there taking us to solitary…"

He almost whimpered out, making me start to panic now as well.

"Is that horrible bad…?"

I asked, wondering weather or not I actually wanted to know the answer.

"No one ever comes back the same from solitary. They say the nurses down there do things to you."

His grip around my waist tightened further as six male nurses made their way toward us.

"Bad things…."

-------------------

There we go!

Off to solitary our asylum boys go! Will they face horror in the face of these mystery nurses, OR will they get out of it by the skin of their teeth!

''pauses for another dramatic drum roll''

Only time will tell…**D:**

Hope you liked it.

Much Love -Elixier


	28. Chapter 26

Broken Beyond Compare

OMG! WHAT TOOK YOU SO LONG??? **D:**

I know.. I know. I'm sorry I have no writing muse as of late. My inspiration is at an all time low.

A whole month. **Dx** It took me that long to update. ''kills self'''

ON A BRIGHT NOTE THOUGH, in the next chapter the plot will start to blissfully wind down and start making sense. Because I know a ton of you have been asking 'when's the fred/ron going to show up? Where's Fred? ISNT THIS SUPPOSE TO BE WEALSEYCEST??'

Yes I am happy to announce that very soon you will see exactly why I did this the way I did!!!

Anyways without bothering you further I give you chapter 26! Enjoy.

-------------------

Chapter 26

-------------------

Solitary, as it turns out, was not the torture chamber I had envisioned.

I had expected stone walls with rusted chains hanging from them, blood stained floors, and all matters of spiky and lethal looking objects.

What I got, was a long dimly lit hall way with a total of six doors leading off from each side, twelve in all. The entire thing was padded, including said doors, and the only means of seeing who was inside was the tiny window near the top of each frame. Too small to slide your hand through, in fact it wasn't even a window, it was more like a mail slot.

A mail slot with bars on it, that is.

The silence here was thick, much too thick to be even remotely normal. And I was instantly reminded of a morgue.

Nice imagery.

I guessed right off that the rooms must be sound proof which could mean absolutely nothing could. Because if no one could hear you ranting about the shadow people you see in your head, they sure as hell couldn't hear you screaming.

Joyous Day.

I was put in the first cell, which was just an empty padded room about the size of a large closet, only darker and without the old cloths smell. Envy was in the one next to me, or so I presumed considering I hadn't actually seen him go in one because I was busy being forcefully pushed into my own by two, built, male nurses.

As if they thought I was going to put up a struggle.

Please, I had been raped and beaten in the worst of ways, I'm not fucking moving for anyone or anything. A fire could consume the entire building this instant and I would just pull up a chair and burn.

Looking back though, I really should have put the energy into that struggle.

The nurses in solitary were said to be evil vial creatures from the underworld. They were said to do horrible things to you that made you come out of here different then when you came in.

Was it true? No idea. These nurses have yet to show there faces and I honestly didn't think they were going to.

As for the fact that people come out of here morbid and more insane then when they came in, that I could understand.

These rooms were pitch black, save for the tiny shred of light coming in through the mail slit near the top. Nothing but padding and darkness surrounding you. No sound, barley any sight, it was like being in a gigantic box with no way out.

That would drive anybody crazy. Yes, even you sane people.

Not to mention the fact that darkness plays tricks on you. Makes you see and hear things that aren't really there.

People say that at night nothing seems the same. I agree. In darkness things that are stationary seem to move, sounds that should be perfectly normal seem ethereal and threatening. And what could just be the tree outside knocking against your window could be a demonic pirate of doom from the marshmallow galaxy across the stars out to cut open your stomach and eat your brains.

Yeah… I have a lot of time to think about these things.

Twenty minutes into my stay in the padded cell I started to see things moving. Like something was hiding in the shadows, lurking around not two feet from me. Black moving through darker black, all around me. First there was one, then two, soon four. All moving around quick as light. They'd be in one spot then in a second they would be in another.

I wasn't sure what they were, they had no definite form, just shadows… that moved… and could fly… considering they were also on the ceiling.

It's safe to say that at this point that I was successfully freaking out.

The fact that I could be imagining this never came to mind. All I knew was that there was something indefinitely there, and it was getting closer.

Then I heard what sounded like faint screaming, growing louder by the second. Which was impossible considering these walls were sound proof. There was no way Id be able to hear someone screaming even if they were in the room next to me.

But that didn't matter because the sound wasn't coming from the room next to me. It was coming from this room.

I looked through the shadows, trying to avoid the ones that moved searching for the cause of such noise. It didn't seem to be coming from any of the walls, no it was coming from the middle of the floor.

Exactly were I was sitting.

Now my thought was what many peoples would probably be. Was I screaming? Moving a hand to my lips proved this accusation to be wrong. No, I wasn't screaming but I could clearly hear it. Loud and shrieking coming from this very spot.

And in an instant all the moving shadows became one big shadow, looming over me. But now it had eyes, bright glowing blue eyes, silted and narrow, staring at me as if I were prey.

This day is fucking awesome isn't it?

Another sound mingled with the screaming now, a laugh. Dark, evil chuckling coming from everywhere all at once. And then the big shadow grew long arms and claws along with a huge gaping mouth that seemed to have a skeletal white face inside of it with piercing red eyes.

And awesome just gets better.

It was coming towards me now, and I opened my mouth to scream but no sound came out only a gurgling as if there was water in my lungs mixing faintly with the loud screaming and laughing already pounding in my ears.

Suddenly I couldn't breath and hands seemed to pop up from every where locking onto my limbs and holding me down. The shadow figure was hovering on top of me and the skeletal creature in its mouth, growing a creepy small white body of its own, started crawling out toward my face, little mouth agape showing nothing but a black hole surrounded by spiky teeth.

Scared shitless? Why yes I am.

I thrashed wildly trying anything and everything to get away, but the hands held me fast. And the screaming was getting louder while my mind was spinning with lack of oxygen and all the while some horrible burning sensation was creeping through me. Like I had just drunk some kind of terrible poison mixed with fire whisky.

That creature from the shadow things mouth was near me now, stretching its bony arm out toward me and making some horrible sound that words cannot describe. It crawled onto my chest, mouth coming closer fingers outstretched not a centimeter from my cheek and I could feel my chest contract in fear.

"You did very well for a first timer Mr. Weasley."

I jolted back to the present with such a thud I could almost hear it, looking around with wide eyes quite more then just a bit freaked out.

As it would turn, I was not in the middle of the floor like I had thought, but was sitting against the far back wall of the padded cell in what one could dare say was a fetal position.

Which is funny because I don't remember moving.

Light poured in the room now from the open door way where Bick and a few nurses stood, one nurse coming in a taking my pulse as if trying to see weather or not being in a small dark room had affected me.

Bitch….

Needless to say the shadow creatures and weird noises were gone.

"How long have you been standing there?"

I asked my voice sounding miraculously fine for all the screaming I did when that creature was coming at me.

If they had been there long I was going to kill them. Could they not see me freaking out and thrashing? Wasn't it there job to protect me while I was here?

That was a stupid thought… I had already been raped. You'd think if they were going to try and protect me they would have started by keeping that from happening, no?

"The entire two hours Doll, as a first timer you had to me monitored to see how you would react to solitary. We didn't want something to happen to you."

Translation, 'We were watching you because we think you're to fucking crazy to be left in a dark room alone plus now that there's a nurse who wants to rape your ass we better keep our eyes on you so we don't go to prison.' Huzzah! Aren't you glad you have us around.

Assholes.

And when the fuck did two hours go by? I could have sworn it's only been a couple of minutes.

Not that I'm complaining.

_If you would have died to begin with this would of never happened…. _

If I wouldn't have been crazy to begin with this would have never happened.

"Why didn't you let me out when I started to scream?"

I stated horror struck as the nurse informed Bick that my heart rate was souring.

Well no fucking shit it was soaring. I had just been attacked by a shadow and its skeleton gingivitis. Your heart rate wouldn't be all dandy and calm either.

Bick paid the nurse no mind, instead looking at me as though I had asked a stupid question.

I've been getting that look a lot lately…

_Its because you're an idiot…….you should of cut right… you should of…_

Fuck off.

"You never screamed Doll. You never even moved once. Just sat against the wall quietly staring into space. No one's ever taken being in here that well."

I think some part me may have just died….

"What…?"

I asked intelligently, staring at Dr. Bick like he was off his fucking rocker.

"I couldn't of just been sitting there the entire time, because I saw it. That thing came at me and someone was screaming, then I was screaming and thrashing around. I fucking saw it and felt it. Didn't you see... you said you were standing there the entire time…"

I stated somewhere between angry and scared. Angry because it was obvious these people were trying to mess with me by saying the shadow was never there. Scared because I have this really bad feeling that it's going to come back.

"I _was_ standing here the entire time Doll, and I'm telling you that you didn't move or make a sound once."

He regarded me through is glasses for a moment as if contemplating something of great importance. I begin to fidget, I did not now nor will I ever like people staring at me.

_You'd better get used to it… they all stare…. so pathetic… so useless…. waste of life….._

Though I couldn't really pay to much attention to this because I was just informed that everything I had just seen and felt was in my head.

Do you know what that means? It means I'm a psycho. And not just any psycho, no, I'm a creative psycho.

And I don't want to be. You know why? Because when you're a creative psycho huge shadowy creatures with demonic skeletons in their mouths come out of your fucked up mind and attack you.

That's what being a creative psycho is. Your crazy, but on a more wide-ranged level, and I assure you that I wanted nothing to do with it.

Fuck that.

"Your psychosis must be worsening. But that's fairly expectable given what's happened to you in the past few hours."

Bick mumbled out talking more to himself then to me and marking down little notes about how fucked up I am on his clipboard.

Oh well that was simply fucking dandy wasn't it. Its not nearly enough that I have eight mental illnesses, oh no, now there getting worse.

Just when I thought my little pit of self-misery couldn't get any deeper.

I was lead back to Hospital hall after that, everyone making sure I walked more slow then normally because they apparently thought I was too traumatized to process what movement was.

It took us thirty minutes to walk down two short halls and turn. No joke. I could see dead turtles moving faster then us.

Though I'm sure no one else was seeing them because lets all remember that I'm an hallucinating psycho.

Yay for me.

The two men from the ministry were waiting for me when I arrived, looking very pleased with themselves as they stared down at Envy who looked worse for the ware.

Solitary had not been good to him. He was now shaking madly refusing to look at anyone or anything around him until I walked in and we latched ourselves together.

I don't know what the fuck happened to him in that dark room, but if it was anything like what I saw then he had every fucking reason to be freaking out.

As did I.

_Pathetic……… _

"Now then maybe that loosened your tongues a bit, eh?"

The taller of the two despicable men stated not at all phased by our mental dysfunction. He acted like one would after sending a misbehaving child to sit in a corner.

Cold bastard that he was.

"Maybe Ill rip your fucking tongue out."

Ohhhh… things are about to get a lot more interesting in here. And a lot more dangerous. You could tell by the way Rage had his eyes narrowed when he nearly busted the doors of Hospital Hall by throwing them open so violently.

Cin wasn't far behind looking calmer then our hot tempered friend but you could tell by the way his eyes flickered that he was no less pissed.

I guess they had been informed about our lovely trip to solitary. And I don't envy the nurses who had to deal with them when they were first told.

I also had to wonder who told them considering the 'no one in, no one out' rules that were currently attached to us.

"Your not supposed to be in here. These two are under strict lockdown."

The other male piped up with displeasure. Though his cool demeanor faltered under Rage's glare, but that was expectable. Anyone with a general sense of self-preservation would falter under his glare.

And I'm pretty sure these two pompous pretty boys had a very good sense of self-preservation.

"What. Are you going to throw us out? Try it, I dare you."

Rage challenged, not showing any signs of leaving what-so-ever as he made his way to his cousin's side where Envy clung onto him at once.

Naturally.

One of the men stepped forward as if to physically remove them from the room, which made me wonder because both Rage and Cin were at least twice the size of these two and could easily kick their asses from here to Kingdom Come.

Where ever the hell Kingdom Come is anyways…

"I wouldn't do that if I were you. He's killed before and I'm pretty sure he'd be willing to do it again."

Cin warned said man, arms latching around my waist as I promptly buried my head into his chest. I was beyond relieved to see them, and to see that they were at least in once piece. I had been worried that they would have been as brutalized as me and Envy were.

At least one thing went right today.

_Nothing else will…. You deserve this….. no one cares……_

Why cant you just get a shot to get rid of that thing. You know… like a flu shot?

The man seemed to consider this and backed off, surly not wanting to end his life before sunrise.

'Were not finished with the inspection of the victims…."

He piped up acting a lot braver then he looked, standing beside his partner looking ready to run should Rage step towards him. I couldn't help but feel a little pissed the he just deemed us 'victims', I mean we were sitting right fucking here, and they went on as though we couldn't understand what they were saying.

Assholes.

"No. You are finished. Have a nice night."

Cin put out bringing this less-then-friendly conversation to an end. The men looked as if they would have liked to stay and argue some more, but thought better of this and walked out of Hospital Hall in a huff.

We were very pleased, as you can imagine.

"Bout time you two showed up. Where the hell have you been."

Envy snapped at once, still not removing his death hold on the tall brunette.

I couldn't blame him, my own hold on Cin wasn't any less tight. And I was probably bruising the dark skinned ones side s we speak.

"Took us awhile to get through the security guards they've set up. We wouldn't have even known where you guys were if Skin and Bones didn't come find us."

So that's how they found out. I should have known the twins would have wisped off to get the older boys when we were first put in solitary.

"Are you two alright. We heard they put you in the cell."

Rage then added, sounding very concerned. Apparently, or at least from what I hear, he had been in solitar a few times himself and had never come out happy.

Which I could now understand because honestly there wasn't a possible way to leave that padded white room with a smile on your face. There just wasn't.

"It was horrible."

My voice came out a lot quieter and weaker then I would have liked, which put a loving end to all of our chit-chat.

It was understood that the last few hours have been more then any of us could handle and what we really needed right now was just to be close. To at least know that someone cared about us. Even if all we did have was each other, and the twins of course.

_And its all you'll ever have you sick abomination……._

Pretty much.

I couldn't help but note though, that Cin's hold on me seemed a bit more tight… more desperate then usual. And I would have liked to of asked him about this, but within minutes I had been lulled asleep by the steady beat of his heart and the knowledge that no matter what, he would always be there.

-------------------

Solitary is a pretty messed up place. **D:**

Though I for one, would enjoy sitting in a padded dark cell for two hours. Though I cant imagine a lot of other people would….

I do have the next chapter already planned out and in the works, so it shouldn't take me much time to update.

And I know it's a bit short for how long you've had to wait. I usually do twelve word pages and this came up to a little over nine. But ill make the next chapter much better for you all.

Much Love -Elixier


	29. Chapter 27

Broken Beyond Compare

YES!

I told you I would have this one up sooner! It's still not exactly on time, but its better then I have been doing!

WHOO!

OK! Lets get right to it shall we?

**:Warnings: **Self Mutilation : Attempted Suicide : Sexual Content : Rape : Molestation : Incest : Chan-cest : Yaoi : Swearing : Drug Use : Character Death :  
AND THERE BACK! **:D** The warnings of goodness. Which must mean this chapter is either really gory or really sad.

You don't like? DON'T READ.

Ok? Ok! On with the story.

-------------------

Chapter 27

-------------------

"That is so wrong."

Came the strained voice of Bones, having lost nearly all the air in his bony body from the fit of laughter he just came out of.

The not-so-pleasant events of 'Adams revenge' and the aftermath of the ministry lockdown were well over as of now. Takken, pulling however many strings she had to, had somehow gotten her asylum out of investigation, and away from the eyes of the magical ghouls.

Quite a feat for such an old lady, and I began to wonder if she really was a frail and as out of her mind as she came off to be.

Though I did try not to wonder about that to much because quite frankly, the thought of the owner of this hell being a magnificent actor was quite disturbing. Was she really a darling old bird with no clue as to what went on in this place? Or did she know exactly what went on, and chose to let it happen for her own entertainment.

Pretty messed up thought isn't it?

_All your thoughts are messed up……_

Yes I know. 'Creative psycho' at your fucking service.

She did not, however, manage to keep such things from the magical public. I had come to find out that a story had gone out in the Daily Prophet, depicting everything that happened here in mind splitting detail.

How do I know this? I read it.

And if there was anything left inside of me, I was sure it had died right then. It was bad enough my family knew about what happened. Did I really need the rest of Hogwarts informed as well?

I could just picture their reactions. Enjoying their breakfast while reading the story and then choking when they see my name.

I couldn't imagine what they must think of me now. Seamus, Dean, and Neville must be quite horrified that they shared a dorm room with a gay manic for three years. And I wasn't completely certain I would ever be able to face Malfoy again.

He must be amazingly pleased right now. Slytherin is probably throwing a party as we speak from the sheer joy of knowing I'm locked up in a loony bin with a rapist on the staff.

Their thrill must be endless.

Plus it would be even harder for my family and 'former' friends, with everyone knowing. And I say former, because you don't have many friends left once you loose your mind.

Only ones you have are those whom have also lost their minds. Which I was fine with, mind you. Ill take Envy and Cin over Harry and Hermione any day.

Though I must admit the idea of my family going through harder times sort of appealed to me. Hey, they put in here to begin with. Its there fault. If they had let me die, none of us would be in this position now would we?

Didn't think so.

_This is why you're here... your sick...don't care about anyone but yourself... unworthy…_

Yes. I know, you've told me this. Why are you repeating yourself? More importantly why I am talking to you?

My family was not pleased with the fact that I had been raped again. In fact, they were more then unpleased they were quite hysterical.

Fun? Please. Imagine a hysterical Bill. Do you think that's fun? It's not like he's bad enough when he's not looking for an excuse to pulverize someone.

There was a huge meeting yesterday in which all of the 'victims' families were brought in for what Takken had called an 'informational meet.' It was a damn shock to us, because for a blissful day we had though we were all going to get out of this without having to face our families.

We were wrong. Though that's not too surprising. When are we right?

_Never……_

No one asked you.

Needless to inform you though, said meeting did not go well.

Envy's parents, Rage's guardians did nothing but sit with their noses up in the air and sniff in a miffed way occasionally when they were addressed. As if having to be here was insulting in some way.

I can't tell you how much I would love to shove a fork in those people's eyes.

Skin and Bones's parents, as it would turn out, were celebrity nutritionists. Rich, extremely fit, and more tan then any person should be. According to Envy, they had made such a big deal out of their children becoming fat when the twins were little, they had given them carrot sticks to live off and freaked if either one was a pound over the 'recommended weight.'

It was pretty much a given that they would eventually get eating disorders, being raised like that and all. Hell even the most physically fit person on earth would get an eating disorder around these people.

They hadn't done much either though. Just sat and listened quietly. Remaking only once about how Skin was looking more grotesque then usual.

At which Bones almost flipped his lid and attacked them, restrained at the last minute by two nurses who were present just to prevent things like this from happening. Because they know we hate our families. Yet, they force us to see them twice a month.

Why? Because the asylum staff likes to see us suffer. Gives them a reason to wake up in the morning.

And I finally got the pleasure of meeting Cins father. A horribly abusive drunk at least six feet tall, with more muscles then Bill and Charlie put together.

Was he frightening? Oh yes.

And the first thing he did when he arrived was punch his son across the face until he was jumped upon by nurses and made to cool off.

Asshole… no wonder poor Cin was in here. I instantly felt my love for him increase by a million notches.

My family was quite horrified by the entire gathering. As you can imagine. Apparently it blew their minds that anyone could be so unloving toward their offspring.

We, being me, Envy, Cin, Rage, and the twins, were made to sit in the corner and listen to them all talk about us as if we couldn't fucking hear them. Cin with a bruise on his face and an unreadable expression, Rage pissed, Skin and Bones indifferent and me and Envy latched onto to one another in repressive angry silence.

No one asked us any questions or even made any move to notice we existed. With the exception of Fred, to whom seemed to think we were the most interesting thing in the entire world. He stared at us the entire two hours. And when I say us, I mean me.

Why was he staring? No idea. Was I creeped out? You betcha.

Yeah...it was a very eventful day. I think we were all pretty damn glad to see it end. Well... except for my mother who seemed to regain her temper and nearly shot fire from her eyes when she was told that I would not be able to return home with them, as they had wanted.

Much to my relief.

"Man you guys are perverted today. You need to chill out a bit. Eat a popsicle or something."

Cin stated with that devious smirk of his, listening to our horribly fucked up conversation and cocking his head as if he thought we were cute little six year olds.

"Sucking on hard things! That's a brilliant idea! Lets all suck on hard things. And if we have different flavors we can try each others."

I stated unable to help myself. He had that coming. Skin and Bones are destroying my semi-innocent mind and making me as perverted as they are. Which I can assure you there very pleased about.

"Dripping! Doll, don't forget, dripping hard things."

Envy added through his giggle fit, his face turning a nice shade of red from his current lack of oxygen intake.

"In plastic wrappers no less."

I finished to a mass of uproarious laughter. I felt pretty witty right then, even though I wasn't. Because how witty can you be with eight mental illnesses?

Cin shook his head at us as though we were being immature. But I saw him laugh. He cant deny it!

"How about ice cream then?"

He suggested with caution as if preparing for the worst to flow from out currently naughty mouths.

Envy gasped dramatically, whilst Skin and Bones snorted, already out of their seats and rolling on the ground.

"I love ice cream! Especially vanilla!"

The black haired one threw out, with a cheeky grin.

"Sticky white stuff!"

Skin, who somehow still managed to speak, added from the floor gasping for breath. I had a feeling those two would pass out soon. I mean there's only so much joy a ninety-seven pound body can take.

"Exactly! And if you milk it the right way, you can suck it through a straw!."

Envy shot back sending another wave of insane hysteria to go flowing through out our little dysfunctional group.

We had even managed to make Rage break a grin, a feat in itself I assure you.

Yes. We were pretty damn proud of ourselves. It was nice to be back to normal…. Well... as normal as you can get when your in an asylum. The past few days had drained us, and I couldn't even begin to describe how amazing it was to see them all laughing again.

Things did wind down eventually, we couldn't stay witty forever you know. Being mental and all. And pretty soon I found myself alone with Cin in my bedroom.

Envy and Rage had disappeared a while ago, there was really no doubt what they were doing. Popsicles and ice cream would be all over that room.

Skin and Bones had gone shortly after. We didn't know what those were doing. And we were quite happy that way.

I however was quite content to snuggle, yes snuggle see what Envy did to me, into Cin's chest and enjoy the state of non-chaos I was currently in.

"Doll."

The tone that fell from the elder male's voice was quite serious. The kind that demanded attention, yet still with that always calm, always.. Cin undertone that he always had.

I love him.

_Your sick…… _

Fuck you.

"Hmmm…?"

Was my oh so intelligent reply. See. Told you my wittiness wouldn't last long.

"Promise me you'll get out of this place."

That did catch my attention though. Because it seemed like such an odd thing to say. Weird promise to want made. I mean... who cared if we got out of here as long as we were together?

As long as I had them, I would never fully lose my mind so what would it matter if we stayed here forever?

Even though this place did suck like old socks that's been in the twins room for sixty years.

Yes, quite horrible a stink, I assure you.

"Does it matter? As long as we have each other we'll be ok right? We'll all get out eventually. Hopefully at the same time! I don't think I could make it without you."

I thought that was a decent answer, honestly I didn't really feel like making a promise I wasn't sure I could keep. Because with my steadily worsening mental illnesses, I wasn't sure if freedom was ever going to be in my reach.

"No. Doll, it matters."

He said sitting up so as to face me properly. Eyes glowing in the dim light with some dire need.

It was disconcerting in a way. I wasn't use to Cin being so serious, he was more of a laid back kind of guy.

"You. Do not. Need us."

He put emphasis on every part as if to make damn certain it got into my head.

"I know you think you do, but you don't Doll. Your not crazy. And I don't care what they say about how many mental illnesses they think you have. Illnesses don't make you crazy, they make you sick. And sickness can be treated and fixed. Your fixable. Don't let them make you think your aren't. And you can be something, you can do something great with your life."

I opened my mouth to put my input into this because honestly I didn't know why he was saying these things. And the way he was saying them… so desperate… it was scaring the hell out of me.

He hushed me quickly though with a single finger to my lips.

"If you stay here Doll, they'll make you crazy. They will pick and pry at you till you really are unfixable. Don't. Let. Them. You have a life, and a family who want you back. You don't belong here. Envy, Rage, and I. We do belong here, and its not about illnesses or pills or about how many times you see a psychiatrist a week. Its about the person. And weather or not they care about getting better. Envy, Rage, the twins… they don't care anymore. They've given up. And your giving up to Doll, and it kills me. Because you shouldn't."

I think I may have started tearing up along the way. I didn't know why this speech was petrifying me the way it was, but it was.

I had more illnesses then all of them… I was more fucked up them all of them… Isn't that what crazy is? Mental illness?

What if I wanted to give up? What if being here with him and Envy was just fucking better then being free? I've never felt anything like what they give me. Real friendship with people who get it. Who wont tip toe around me because they think Ill snap at any minute. And love… they were closer then my family.

Why was he saying this.

"We love you Doll, but you cant depend on us. Because at any minute one of us, could be gone forever. And you cant let that effect you. You cant let it destroy you.

Because you don't need us, your stronger then that. You need to get better and to get out. Go back to school, and go back to your family. They love you and they need you. Even the ones you think don't care about you, really love you Doll. More then you could ever know."

His hands supped either side of my face, and I could clearly feel the tears that were there now. Showing how truly pathetic I was. How scared I could get just by some simple words.

No, it wasn't the words. It was how he said them.

"Promise me. That you will get out of here."

And I did promise him. Because I was too scared and too freaked out to say anything else. To argue with him over weather or not I had the ability to actually come through on that promise.

I suppose in the end it wouldn't matter. Because as long as he was here I would be ok. Everything would be ok because Cin made it. He made life seem better, brighter then it was.

As long as he was here, I could handle it.

"I love you Doll. Don't ever forget that."

Of course I wouldn't forget, because he'd be here to tell me.

"I love you too.'

Came quietly from my mouth and I re-buried myself into his chest. Noticing only now that the voice hadn't piped up once since I had been in here with him.

I guess Cin was just to strong for the voice. And when he was around my mind wasn't so fucked up, there was no voice, and everything made sense.

Because he's amazingly like that. He just is.

Pretty soon the world went black as I gave way to sleep. The steady beating of the dark-skinned males heart lulling me to rest better then anything had ever before.

Yes. As long as Cin was here, everything would work out the way it should.

I awoke some time later to millions of voices and sirens. The entire asylum it seemed, was in a panicky state of chaos.

The first thing I realized was that I was alone. So I guessed Cin and Rage and them must already be in the halls seeing what it was that was causing so much noise and disarray.

Exiting the room myself I began my search, trying to catch pieces of conversations to find out what was wrong.

"No one knows how it happened.."

"They just found him.."

"How come no one noticed anything? He was just on the floor…"

However, for what ever reason, every time I got close it seemed the conversations would stop. And people kept shooting me these weird looks. Somewhere between sympathetic and questioning. As if I knew something, they wanted to know.

Found who? What the hell was going on?

_I hope someone died…... shame it wasn't you……_

Well I see the voice has made his triumphant return. I mean really, he couldn't pass up such a fine time to mock me could he?

Reaching the end of the hall I spotted Envy, Rage and the twins by the window. Red lights flashing from outside illuminating their grave faces.

I knew something was really wrong now, especially since Rage never looked sad. Not ever.

And when they saw me they seemed quite horrified, and Skin and Envy tried to usher me back as quickly as they could.

But I wasn't paying attention anymore.

Because I knew there was something out that window that no one wanted me to see. And some part of me knew what it was, but I told myself it couldn't be.

It just couldn't.

I had to see, I needed to.

So I broke away from Skin and Envy in a rush, ignoring there cries for me to stop and no less the catapulted myself towards the window and the flashing light.

My heart seized, and everything inside of me died all at once. And soon Rage was the only thing keeping me from falling to the floor.

I only just processed that everyone was crowded around me, though I couldn't hear what they were saying. I couldn't even see them. It was all just colors and noise.

Except the white bed they were loading into the truck with the flashing lights. A sheet pulled over the top of a motionless body, not failing to his the bushy locks of reddish hair, or the tan hand that stood outside the sheet.

I didn't need to see the face to know who it was. And I don't think, I've ever felt such immense pain before.

Cin was dead….

-------------------

**R.I.P**

**Cin aka Cinnamon **

**Chapters 8 – 27**

**You will be missed.**

I told you in the beginning someone would have to die, to make this story work. And unfortunately Cin was the only choice I had.

I know a lot of you liked him! He was the most popular OC in the story. But you must carry on knowing that he was sacrificed for the greater good of the tale.. (and my twisted imagination)

Therefore he died not in vain.

''hands out ice cream and tissues''

I do wonder how the asylum will carry on without him though.

Much Love - Elixier


	30. Chapter 28

Broken Beyond Compare

So I think this chapter may be the most epically late I've ever been for an update of any form.

Yeah…

And sadly I have no excuse for it this time.

I was just lazy **Dx**

Now, just to let you know, there's going to be a switch of POV in this update.

And don't worry I have it all marked and bolded for you so even the most short-attention-spanned person can't miss it.

Ok? Ok.

Enjoy!

-------------------

Chapter 28

-------------------

The clicking of a clock was really starting to annoy me. Because that's all I heard, the insistent clicking of that damn clock.

Cin was dead… did you know? They found him in the hallway. They say it was suicide, but they don't know.

I don't know how many days it had been, I don't remember much. It had to of been a while though, cause I remember people… coming in and talking, their voices all blurred. But I could hear parts of their conversations... words like unresponsive and catatonic making their way to me.

I don't know who they were talking about... it could have been me… but I have no idea.

I've been laying here since his funeral.

It was small, just Me, Envy, Rage, Skin, and Bones. Some priest who didn't know what he was talking about and a grave digger ready to throw Cin down into a large hole and cover him with dirt like he was nothing.

I remember it rained that day. It was cold, like little flecks of ice pelting your skin.

It didn't matter though. Nothing mattered.

I don't remember coming back from the funeral. I don't remember anything after I saw the last traces of his coffin disappear under the wet dirt being tossed on top of it. Just blurs and sounds.

It's so hard to think now. I don't remember things like I should. Pieces all jumbled, days forgotten as if they never happened. I don't even know where I am anymore. If I was still in the asylum... or somewhere else.

Who cared?

He did. But he's gone.

The voice doesn't talk to me anymore. I think he left the day my sanity truly broke. Nothing left for him to mock or poke at, he probably became bored.

So I've been sitting here in silence. Only the ticking and occasional blurred voices.

The ticking wasn't blurred though, it was loud and always there. At night, at day it never ceased.

It was always there. And I hated it.

I could feel touches to, against my arm, neck, sometimes chest. I only remember them as vague brushes, who knows if they were something more. Or less. Or even if they didn't exist at all.

I couldn't define reality from delusion anymore. The line that separated them had been erased. Nothing seemed real, I didn't even seem real. I'm not sure I am anymore.

Maybe I was just someone's thought, and that someone had decided to stop thinking of me.

I wouldn't blame them. If I had the choice, I would stop thinking of me too.

Something brushed against my ear. And those sounds were back, those blurry talking sounds like someone was speaking to me but was just out of earshot.

I would have moved towards the sound, but I can't move anymore… I haven't since I don't know when. I could be paralyzed. Or.. I could be moving and not know it.

Neither would be a surprise.

Cin was dead… did you know? They found him in the hallway. They say it was suicide, but they don't know.

**------------------- P.O.V Switch -------------------**

A sigh was let out by the one Dr. Bick as he stood blankly in the hall, looking through the small glass window that lead to the room holding his young patient.

He had held so much hope for the redhead. And now to see him like this, it was almost a personal failure.

It had been two months since Darrien, aka Cin had died. Two months since the day they put him in the ground. And two months that Mr. Weasley had been in a catatonic state.

He, and the other two, Envy and Rage, along with the twins had been released that day. To attend the funeral of their fallen companion. He himself had not been there. But he was told that Mr. Weasley had gone limp the moment the coffin disappeared from his view.

Nurses had brought him back to Needleburg on a stretcher. His eyes were open, but they were empty. He wasn't moving. The Doctor would have taken him for a corpse upon first sight should it of not been for the shallow movement of his chest, signaling he was still alive.

If you could call him alive anymore.

But what made you alive anyways? Was it the beating of your heart? No. It was more then that. To truly live would need much more then just a pulse.

That seemed harsh, and as a doctor he was not allowed to have such obscure thoughts.

His eyes returned to the window, where a black haired figure was on his knees by Mr. Weasley's ear. Whispering and stoking his arm.

Envy had come here every day. He would arrive first thing in the morning, and not leave until lights out.

Normally this would not of been allowed. But under the circumstances, changes were made.

"What do you think?"

The Weasleys had been here almost daily as well. Their son's sudden turn for the worse striking them all in a horrible way.

They were worried. And it pained the Doctor that there was nothing he could do for them.

"I cant say. This is a very uncertain area. There isn't much we can do."

He answered the horrified and saddened father. Mr. Weasley Sr. had been here every day without fail. Some times with his wife, others she was to upset to accompany him.

"I understand."

He didn't sound convinced. But what the Doctor said was true.

The state of which Doll sat in now, was coma-like. The illnesses he suffered from, with the stress and the new loss of his dear friend had snapped something within him.

His body had shut down. And weather or not he would ever come back, remained to be seen.

Though it would not be from lack of hope on his friends and families side. The young man had many rooting for him.

Only time would tell though, as to weather or not their faith in him would be enough.

Inside the room however, a much different attitude was in place.

Envy saw no damn need to think in such and non-positive way. Having been in this hell hole for a year and a half now he knew fucking well that sometimes all you really needed was a good attitude to get through.

He hoped this was one of those times.

His hand moved to hold the cold palm of the redhead lying before him. Smile permanently on his face, as though to frown would cause the male to die.

And he couldn't handle that. He couldn't lose another one….

"Come on Doll. You have to come back for me. Whose going to pick fun at the sane people with me if your not here? Or snuggle like two idiotic school girls? …. Or understand me.. I need you."

He had repeated this phrase more then once. 'I need you'. Almost chanting it like a spell hoping beyond all rational hope that it would snap Doll out of it.

Rational hope was for loser anyways. Un-rational hope was much better. Ask anyone.

Except sane people… they wouldn't understand.

"He wouldn't want you like this you know."

Envy stated again, never loosing that happiness he shot into every word determinedly. If he broke down, all could be lost. Everyone else was glooming about and acting as if Doll wouldn't make it. As if he wasn't strong enough.

They didn't know anything.

Rage had been more pissy then usual. Bad enough to the point they had to lock him in solitary for beating up another patient so bad he got sent to the hospital hall. He didn't handle loss well. Cin was his best friend, Doll was like his little brother.

He couldn't die…. Doll could not die.

Skin and Bones had been locking themselves in their room for the last five weeks. They didn't cause mayhem, they didn't tease the new arrivals or hit on anyone who was skinner then them. They just sat there and talked to each other day in, and day out.

They couldn't handle it either.

He himself hadn't been doing much. Just sitting with his redheaded best friend. Cause unlike everyone else, he wasn't going to give up and sit around all depressed.

No. He had done that before. And Doll wasn't someone he was going to give up on.

This he could handle. Death he couldn't. But what everyone was failing to realize, was that Doll or Ron whatever the fuck you wanted to call him, was not dead.

So people should stop treating him as if he was.

It pissed him off. Lots of things were pissing him off now. But he chose not to show it, for like said, someone needed to be the one to smile and get everyone else through the day.

"Come on Doll…… they think you cant do it. You got to prove them wrong. Please."

And against all laws of nature, Envy could have sworn he saw Dolls hand move just then.

-------------------**END OF POV SWITCH** ---------------

There were those words again. Whispered against my ear.

I could never make them out… no matter how hard I tried. They were just always out of my reach. And the voice sounded so familiar.. but I couldn't place it.

I don't remember names anyways… so even If I could hear the speaker clearly his or her title would still be lost to me.

Cin was dead… did you know? They found him in the hallway. They say it was suicide, but they don't know.

Pain.

That was new. I had felt brushes and other obscure things in the past, but this, this was new. There was some sort of hot pain rushing through my arm.

I don't know which arm, such things as left and right were pointless now, but I knew it was one of my arms.

Its dulling now… tingling almost and oh god I want to move it .. but I cant.

I don't even remember how to move. Or if I was moving and didn't notice it. That could happen couldn't it? Moving and not realizing it? Like sleepwalking but on a smaller scale.

Who knew?

And then there was the awfully bright light, shining directly into my eyes. Like someone was holding a flashlight to my face.

I couldn't get away from it either, I don't even know if my eyes were closed or open but that light was just there.

It sucked.

And then all of a sudden like a tidal wave, all those voices that were just out of reach came crashing into hearing range and my vision cleared to show a white ceiling.

I panicked for what must have been three minutes. Because I didn't where I was, I didn't know who I was, my body felt foreign to me. And I knew I was moving, I could see my arm coming up to my chest and my legs moving. But I couldn't exactly feel it.

Like I was watching it all happen from across the room.

Oh, but that didn't last.

The second tidal wave came. And I knew where, and what I was.

And I say what, because I don't think I qualify as human any longer.

My first memory though, was his funeral.

I was so mad at him. How dare he leave me here in this hell hole. Gone with no warning, no anything. Just gone…

But then I remember standing there watching the coffin be lowered into that hole. And how it was only us. No family, no anyone. Like no one cared that he was dead. No one gave a shit that he was being thrown into a dark pit like he wasn't important.

And that killed me.

Are we really living in a world that's so superficial that things like that could happen? His family fucked him up, threw him in an asylum, beat him while he was in the asylum, and then didn't have the gull to show up to even say good bye. Or sorry.

How could anyone let that happen?

He was a kid. Just a little older them me. There tone of people in that asylum. Nurses, Doctors, Psychiatrists, other parents who were there when he father struck him and tore him apart inside.

And no one did anything.

Cin was dead… did you know? They found him in the hallway. They say it was suicide, but they don't know.

They don't know anything. And they don't care.

I was only vaguely aware that Envy was currently attached to my side like a leech. My mind still groggy from whatever I had slipped into.

I honestly had no fucking idea what happened after that day at the cemetery. Its all just.. black.

He must have sensed the questions in me, because he came up with answers as soon as he stopped having his own little mental breakdown.

I guess I must have been out for a couple weeks for him to react like this.

"They said you'd never come back Doll. That you would be like those other catatonics. You were here for three months. Just lying here.. like you were dead,"

Three months?

The lump in my throat grew at that. How could someone just drop out of reality for three months?

Not that I'm anyone to talk. Considering I don't even 'know' what reality is anymore. And I'm quite certain that I don't want to.

"You scared the hell out of me you know."

He then added in a serious tone eyes threatening to spill over with tears he had obviously been holding back.

My fault. As everything always was.

I hugged him into my side further apologizing in a cracking voice for said scare and fully promising to never do it again.

If I had control over it… that was.

We must of cried for hours after that. Which I think we needed. Because we hadn't cried. Not at the funeral or the cemetery.

And you know what, as cliché as this may sound. I felt better. Well.. not loads better. But just a little bit.

And when your at that point in life when nothing means anything anymore. Even a little bit counts.

"We have to get out of here Envy."

That's what Cin wanted wasn't it? That's what he said. He wanted me out of here.

And Ill be damned if I don't grant him that. It's a real shame though. That the first time anyone is actually going to listen to his words.. he isn't even around to see it.

But I cant do it alone. I know he said I could, but he was wrong. I cant handle being alone. I'm not strong enough for that.

He took my hands in his, our matching scars lining up.

"We will. Soon. I promise."

And we would.

Cin was dead… did you know? They found him in the hallway. They say it was suicide, but they don't know.

-------------------

I know it's a little short for all the time you've had to wait for it. But the next chapter will be longer.

For that's when everything is going to unwind.

I did kill Cin for a reason. And pretty soon you'll all see why!

And then you can stop thinking I'm some cold hearted bitch author who killed him for spite.

Psh. Me? An evil bitch? Never. (lie **D:** )

Much Love -Elixier


	31. Chapter 29

Broken Beyond Compare

Back again, after another stretch of forever. God I need to stop doing that.

I WILL have the next chapter up in no more then two weeks or sooner. It's a personal goal. I swear it, I have the date marked up on my calendar and everything.

For now though, I hope you all aren't to mad at me with the long wait and I hope you enjoy this update. FINALLY we are going to start seeing some of that FredxRon that's supposed to happen. With the story starting to wind down everything will fall into place I promise.

Enjoy, loves!

--

Chapter 29

--

Oh god, if I wasn't in hell before I had most certainly slipped into it now.

I stared pointedly at the polished wooden desk that sat in front of me in an almost ominous manner. It hadn't even been three days since they released me from the hell wing and back into my normal one when I was pushed viciously into Bick's office for what was certain to be the interrogation of all interrogations.

You'd think they'd of given me more time to heal. I mean they_ were_ the ones that said I was just _so fragile_ _and broken_ were they not? Well obviously I wasn't that damn fragile and broken because they had me sitting in this fucking chair the center of everyone's potent attention.

And by everyone I mean Dr. Bick, Dr. Shelly, Mum and Dad, Fred, George, Charlie, Bill, Harry, and Hermione. Yes, lovely no?

Ginny I'm guessing was forced to stay at home. I had to feel for her, she was a spitfire my little sister and really we all didn't give her proper credit for it. Percy I'm guessing had to work but him not being there really had no effect on me what-so-ever. The less people too stare, the less like a trapped animal I feel.

They didn't even give me an edge or any sort of calvary to help me face this down either. If Envy were here I might of felt at least a little better, but no. He'd been restrained when they called me in. And I mean actually restrained, as in held back by a fleet of nurses.

Sticking to me like a leech that one. Has been ever since I got out of the 'catatonic' state I had apparently slipped into. Not that I minded so much. Skin and Bones were no better though not quite as clingy as my dear black haired friend. Rage mostly just sat and watched over us as though afraid some invisible force would rip through the wall at any given minute and take another of us away from him.

Exactly like a big brother, him.

Speaking of which I hadn't been giving mine proper credit. Seeing the way Cin was so... horribly treated by his so-called family made me open my pathetic eyes and see that I really didn't have it as bad as I had convinced myself into thinking I did.

Not that I was flinging myself into anyone's arms, mind you. I wasn't really all that excited to see the gathering of my family and friends when I came in here. But in my defense I didn't try to push them off when they hugged me either.

Not even Fred, and yes that's a fucking load of progress on my part thank you very much.

Anyways back to the present.

I was situated in the center of the floor, obviously, sitting in a high back chair that was doing nothing to hide me as well as I had hoped. Directly in front of me and behind the desk I was currently staring at were Drs Bick and Shelly, looking as though they had psyched themselves up for the battle of a lifetime. To my left was Mum, Dad, Bill, and Charlie. To my right were the other four all sitting quietly in plush chairs with unreadable expressions.

"Ron."

I cringed visibly when my name was sounded from that always monotone voice of the male doctor. The battle had begun I supposed and the fleet of questions that was going to come was nothing I could prepare myself for.

"Are you ok?"

Wow, that was lame. Even by my standards and I'm a fucking nutcase. What the hell kind of question was that? Did I fucking look ok? Was I acting ok? Would I be in this fucking asylum if I was ok? No. I wouldn't.

Anger started to well up inside me for no apparent reason. They had called me away from Envy and Skin and all of them who needed me there just to ask me stupid fucking questions? We had plans to make, we had to get out of here … we had to do it for Cin and I did not have time to sit here and answer ridiculous inquisitions.

Cin……

"I'm fucking dandy. How are you?"

I flat toned out looking directly into those blue eyes that I had come to loath. And he smiled, he flippin smiled and I suddenly wanted to throw a very blunt object right at his smiling face,

Who the hell said he could be happy?

"Well I'm glad to see you've at least kept some of that spark in you Mr. Weasley. You did give us all quite a scare back there…."

"So I've heard."

This was pointless. I had things to do… so many damn things. I needed to carry out his last words…. I had to. I had to… My Cin. Someone had to honor him and someone had to be there to remember him properly for what he was. The brilliant and witty and gorgeous man who faced unbearable odds everyday and still managed a smile.

I would not let him die for nothing. I was going to get the fuck out of here, and I was going to get him a beautiful tombstone that had something profound and meaningful etched into it. Something worthy of his brilliance. And it was going to say that he would always be loved and remembered and that no one would ever be able to replace him. Not ever.

Not ever.

"What are you thinking about?"

Dr. Shelly piped up successfully turning my attention, albeit unwillingly, towards her. She still had her face painted in that irritating way, hair pulled back perfectly and a smile on her face. I didn't like it.

"Tombstones."

I stated without elaborating further. She didn't need to be inside my mind, she had no reason to be in there and I didn't want her there anyways. I discreetly saw Fred shift as though uncomfortable to the right of me.

"It wasn't your fault he died. He wouldn't want you like this."

Bick stated obviously being able to follow my train of thought. Though it shouldn't be all that surprising considering it was his fucking job to be able to follow crazy people's trains of thought.

Something inside me burned with that sentence. These people… sitting there all smugly behind their desks and degrees telling me what Cin would have wanted. As if they fucking knew him.

I hated it, I hated them. They all go rot in fucking hell for all I cared.

"How the fuck would you know what he wanted?"

I snapped out so vilely that I barely recognized my own voice. I'd never felt so violent before and all I wanted to do was make someone hurt and bleed and pay for everything he had to go through when he was alive.

When he was alive…

"You don't know anything about him. You sit there and you act like you fucking know how we feel and what were going through but you don't. You don't fucking know anything. You just sit there and drone on about how fucking messed up you think we are with your important fucking title and degrees and your pet bitch."

I shot the last bit directly at Dr. Shelly who looked, to my delight, quite offended.

Though this did tell me I needed to find a dictionary and start studying because honestly how may 'fucking's do you need in a short few sentences?

Bick remained stoically and irritatingly unaffected by my snapping temper line and rather just sat there and stared at me like I was some sort of puzzle and not a human being who was not so far away from beating his face in.

"Well then, Ron in since I'm so uneducated in these things, why don't you explain to me what I don't seem to be getting?"

He stated still monotone enough to make me see red. What a jackass, he was making fun of me wasn't he?

_Yes he was…_

Fuck you jackass, go back to your fucking pit.

"You wouldn't understand even if I did explain it to you."

I challenged right back. I am not sitting around and taking this shit anymore. Not from him, not from anyone.

"Try me."

Still monotone, still unaffected, still sitting all smug and cool as though he expected it like he can read into my mind.

Fine, he wanted inside my wonderful thoughts well then fucking fine. I jolted the chair forward as much as I could and rested my elbows on his desk. My very angry green eyes not leaving his bespectacled ones for a second. If this is what he wanted then so be it.

Because I'm _not_ letting them push me around. Not. Any. More.

"Have you ever had something on your mind? Something that pained you to even think about? Maybe your wife cheated on you or your kid ran away or told you they hated you, which in all honestly wouldn't be to surprising but that's beside the point…"

If Bick was my father I'd of run away years ago.

"So let's say you pace around your room trying to forget or get over it but you know that's impossible and you can't do it. So you get frustrated and angry and you kick a piece of furniture or a wall so hard in fact that you think you might have broken your foot…"

His was still just so unaffected, though he was the only one. The bug lady looked as though she was worried even more for my warring sanity now then ever before. This was saying something considering how much sanity I did indeed possess before.

Which wouldn't be enough to fill a small cup I'm sure.

"And in that split second what was bothering you doesn't matter anymore because all you can think about is the pain radiating from your foot. Then in clicks and you start to think that maybe if you hurt yourself bad enough you can make all that's bothering you just go away. Make it just leave you alone."

The room was silent as the grave now all eyes and attention was on me and for the moment I couldn't being myself to care about that. Couldn't even begin to give a fuck about what everyone else was doing or what they were thinking.

"And it does, when you take that knife to your skin you can't feel a damn thing inside. Like your empty and hollow and it feels so much better then the pain… relief you can't even imagine. Then it all becomes an addiction because the pain never stays away. It always comes back, only now it's doubled because you feel so sick and dirty because of what you did. And the scars on your body make you want to throw up, that's only added to all the self loathing and other things because you know it's fucked up but you can't stop."

I was pretty sure I was someone shudder to the side of me. Everyone seemed pale and shaky now as though they were no longer sure they wanted to know what went on inside my head. Well it serves them all right. Except for Bick, oh his eyes never left mine it was almost like a starring competition and I was not going to loose.

"So you have to start cutting deeper and more often because it's just too much to deal with and it has to go away you have to make it go away. And in the end you realize it's not even fucking worth it. This life isn't even a life and it's not worth the struggle. Why live if you're already dead? So you grab your knife and plunge it deep in your arm and drag it down the vein because it had got to end. Then all you can see is the blood before darkness overtakes you and for a blissful fucking minute there is no pain. Then you wake up six days later in a hospital and they throw you into this hell hole. Because on top of everything else you couldn't even commit suicide the right fucking way."

I thought I head something hit the floor and wondered vaguely if someone had fainted. I was about to explore that possibility by looking behind me but Bick drew my attention back to him with such ease I mid-as-well of been his puppet.

"Why keep doing it though? If the pain comes back why not seek out another way to release the internal suffering?"

God was he listening to me at all? He has to be the dumbest smart person I've ever freaking met with the exception of Percy. Because he was in all honestly the king of stupid smart people, yes he was.

"Because there is no other way. There's no fucking pill that can make you just randomly forget all your fucking problems. You think talking about it helps? It doesn't, it just makes it worse because it was bad enough being pathetic when just you knew about it. Like you need someone else knowing what a fuck up you are. There's only self mutilation and you can do it with alcohol, drugs, knives, or any other way you can think of. "

Why the hell else did he think people drank so much? Drown your sorrows in a beer... or fifty. Where did he think that saying came from? Its self mutilation anyway you look at it, even though being an alcoholic is far more excepted then slitting up your arms.

Which I don't understand at all. At least when you cut yourself not a flipping danger to anyone but your freaking self.

"And there-in, my dear psychiatrist, lays the reason why you will never see anyone locked in this fuck house walk out the door. Because you cant fucking fix something or rather someone that doesn't want to be fixed."

And with that I stood up and waltzed myself right out the door. The can all just brew on that until they choke.

I was hoping to find Envy outside waiting for me, someone to be angry at the world with, but it seemed the nurses had succeeded in putting him back into his _cell _with the other four.

No…three. One of us is still missing and would always be missing. But not forgotten.

I almost stopped in my tracks with that thought, any mention of him not failing to make my heart hurt in a horrible way.

They were probably all waiting for me though, Envy and them. I couldn't waste time we had so many things to discuss.

So lost was I in my own thoughts that I didn't realize I was being followed along the barren hallways until a strong hand caught my upper arm making me turn around in a huff ready to punch someone.

Because I had thought it was Adam, come to gloat over our pain and I was going to fucking break that ugly smile of his into a bazillion pieces. Never mind that I was so pathetically malnourished that Id probably break my hand rather then his teeth, but it was still worth and try and at least it'd make me feel better.

Though when I did turn, fist up and posed to strike, I was met with red hair strikingly similar to mine and blue eyes rather then the six foot blond from hell I was expecting.

Not that I was any less unpleased with the sight of him.

"What the fuck do you want?"

I spat out hatefully glaring at him for all I was worth. Hey, I may of not been giving them proper credit but they all should have known better then to come after me... and wasn't their some sort of rule against visitors stalking about the hallways?

Though they really couldn't of sent anyone better to deal with my anger. Because when it comes to frustrating insanity who better then the robot lord himself?

And he was stepping up to the plate wonderfully.

"I came to talk to you. You don't have to be such a bitch all the time Ronnie…"

Fred stated the look of concern that had been on his face moments ago melting away slightly with his usual jack-ass expression. Though his words were a lot less hateful then mine, probably due to me supposedly baring my soul out to them all a couple minutes ago.

And I found that that only irritated me more. He should have been in a sarcastic arrogant form right about now but oh no, can't be mean to dear insane baby brother.

Then another reason to be pissed at him came to mind and my hands connected roughly with his chest as I pushed him back against the wall with amazing strength for how weak I felt.

"You want to talk Fred. Fine let's talk. Let's talk about how you punched Cin you fucking bastard."

If I was hissing and spitting like an angry cat, or rather bitch as my dear big brother put it so nicely, then I was spitting venom like a poisonous snake now. Oh and I was out to strike. He had no fucking right to touch him…

His eyes showed dislike at the name and if I had a wand I would of hexed his ass then and there. Cin was too important to be looked upon with dislike, he was to perfect and amazing and Fred didn't even deserve to know him.

"That doesn't concern you."

You could tell he was trying to keep his cool by the tone in his voice. But I didn't care hell I wished he was screaming in my face because then I would have had an excuse to punch his lights out.

"Bullshit it doesn't concern me you jackass. You punched him cause of spite didn't you? Cause you just hated to know that there was someone out there who I liked. God forbid I have a friend right?"

I spat out without even thinking about what I was saying, not even caring if I made any sense. Sense didn't matter anyways. And I had two fistfuls of his shirt in a second, slamming him against the wall again, or rather just pushing him roughly against it because I didn't have the strength to slam him against it.

Though I would of liked too….

"You had no right to touch him. It was wrong of you to even think you had a right to touch him…."

"I know it was wrong. I'm sorry ok? Is that what you want? He had something I wanted and I got pissed off and punched him…"

He was still not fighting back just letting me destroy his shirt in my grip and glare at him as if he was something gross and horrible. Like ….. like someone who had just killed a kitten.

"Oh he had something you _wanted_. He was beat and fucked with his entire life while you got your perfect world with your stupid joke shop plans and annoying as fuck twin and everything just handed to you while he had to work his ass off for the simplest things. What the hell did he have that your greedy ass wanted so bad that you had to punch him…?"

It seemed I had finally snapped my older brothers temper line cause he pushed me off him and into the wall opposite him, glowering at me just as much as I was him. I couldn't help but wonder why no one had showed up yet what with all the noise we had to be making.

Not that the nurses here would give a fuck… pricks that they are. It served me well anyways, I was hoping he'd try to hit me… anything to give me a single reason to attack him.

That was until he opened his mouth…

"He had you Ron. That's what fucking pissed me off. I worked forever to get you to look at me with something other then dislike and he knows for two fucking weeks and you're all over him."

What a fucking jackass I mean really… wait...…What did he say?

_Sick... so sick…_

"And your right. I hated that you liked him. I hated that he had you and he didn't even have to fucking try. Cause I wanted you, I was the one who tried."

I must of looked like a fish by now, mouth gaping eyes wide. I'm guessing this was the thing that everyone else knew and I didn't. And quite frankly I wasn't sure I wanted to know any longer…

"You were supposed to be mine and I lost you to someone in fourteen fucking days and that pissed me off so I told him to back off and he just smiled at me so I fucking punched him. That's how it went Ron, are you happy now. Does this…."

It seems he too had finally noticed the interesting position we found ourselves in. Fred had the same bad habit all the people in our family had of walking forwards without realizing it when we got pissed.

Probably some sort of internal need to intimidate whomever we were screaming at or something. Who knows?

Anyways it seemed he had finally noticed that he was close enough to me that I could feel his breath ghost along my lips. One hand on either side of where I was standing almost like a cage. It was close, way to close for him to be as a brother. And I was suddenly nervous and that horrible twisting feeling you get in the pit or your stomach when your anxious about something was persistent to the point where I couldn't ignore it.

He came closer, to where our noses were touching and I felt as though I might throw up, or faint. Or both. And I was worried my mind would explode from all the blurred thoughts running through them.

_Disgusting... horrible… your so sick and…._

Our lips touched. And the voice was blocked out.

There was something to this kiss, the need in it on the part of my older brother and the way his arms were coiling around my to-thin waist that made my mind spin in a dizzying way.

Time seemed to stop for the minute and it felt as if everything was moving in slow motion and all that nervousness that I had felt was flittering away and leaving confusion and a touch of fear behind it.

My older brother was kissing me… and it freaked me the hell out that I wasn't disgusted by this. Scared the living daylights out of me that his arms felt warm and nice instead of odd and foreign like they probably should have with such intimate a hold.

This wasn't just my brother though, this was Fred. King of jackasses and the lord of emotionless robots.

And he was kissing me.

That panic and confusion soon became to much to bear and I could only just recall pushing him away from me and taking off down the hall like a bat out of hell.

And I didn't stop until I was back into my room with the door firmly snapped shut behind me and a worried Envy hovering above my head.

He didn't come after me.

And even though my mind wasn't working properly right now, I knew that this was on a whole other level then where I had been not twenty minutes ago.

Everything had changed in those few minutes with Fred and I didn't know yet if it was for better or much, much worse.

--

Well... at least they cant say that their first kiss wasn't a memorable one?

Poor Fred.

-Elixier


	32. Chapter 30

Broken Beyond Compare

YES! I made the two week mark. (Just by a strand of my hair no less... **D:** ) But I did it!

Anyways, more sad realizations and unraveling of plot in this update. My guess for this story is that it will roughly be 34-36 chapters when it's finished. So we are indeed nearing the end my dears! (About time, no?)

Hope you enjoy, and I will try to get the next update to you in two weeks or less.

--

Chapter 30

--

"We figured he'd do it eventually."

Envy stated seriously after hearing my not-so-vivid recollection of the past thirty minutes.

I was flabbergasted. .. what the hell does that word mean? Not important. What is important is how I seemed to be the only one who was fucking surprised by my older brother being all non-older-brotherish.

Not that he was much of an older brother previously….

"What do you mean you figured he'd do it eventually? What the hell is that? Was there a memo I missed? Did everyone go and have some secret meeting behind my back. How come I'm the only one who didn't seem to know about this stupid fucking thing? Why am I the only one who's freaked the hell out that my older brother, my devil of an older brother, randomly decided he was going to fuck my mind up further by kissing me out of the fucking blue…?"

_Sick…_

Fuck. You.

"He didn't randomly decide to kiss you Doll. He's probably thought about it for a long time… though I can imagine he didn't want it to end with you freaking out and running down the hall."

Rage monotoned out as if very uninterested in this entire conversation.

"Well what the hell else did he expect? After everything we've been going through recently he sure as hell shouldn't of expected a huge 'oh Fred! I love you too' thing to happen."

Come to think of it he shouldn't have expected that even _if_ I wasn't messed up to begin with.

Envy came to my defense at once glaring at Rage for being what he deemed as insensitive.

"Whoa."

I shot out, very pissed off at all of them. And Skin and Bones giggling madly and rolling about on the floor wasn't helping matters ay all. Some of that serious malcontent I felt in Bick's office was bubbling back to the surface and it seemed I wasn't the only one who noticed it by the way Envy was looking at me all sympathetically.

_So everyone knew about this but you? My you're more stupid then I imagined…. _

Speaking of things that were pissing me off….

"You didn't notice?"

Rage questioned out slowly as though I wasn't going to understand him if he spoke at an average speed.

"I didn't notice what."

I snapped out so viciously I even put a halt to the twin's amusement and caused a deathly silence to come over the room.

"Wow Doll, you're pretty dense huh?"

Bones threw out while attempting to keep a straight face. Which looked to be quite a painful affair.

I fumed silently.

"What he means…"

Skin cut in anxious to put a halt to my on-coming pissed off 'I hate you all' rant that was surly brewing deep inside my emotionally dysfunctional mind.

"Is that Fred has liked you for a bit. We all noticed it when he got jealous of Cin… Cin knew beforehand, though we don't know how... he was just amazing like that."

With that I sank to the floor not even caring about the discussion anymore. My low refines of energy and talk of Cin successfully squished any and all desires to keep on arguing. There was just no point in it anymore.

"He was amazing."

I echoed more to myself then anyone drifting slowly into my own world. It was becoming more often a habit for me to just sit and stare into space for no apparent reason. And to think that I thought I had a short attention span before. If it was short then, now it's microscopic.

Which is a muggle word meaning very, very small for those of you who don't know. I think I heard Harry use it at some point or other… hence I picked it up but this is entirely off-topic.

"Don't get like that again Doll… we need you. He would hate to see you this way. And do you remember all those times he talked about Fred and how you should be nicer to him…? Maybe this is a good thing? Maybe you should give him a chance."

_Sick…_

And the anger returns.

"What? So now Cin died just to give my psychopathic brother a chance to snap what's left of my sanity?"

I snapped glowering at them again. Though in retrospect I think we all preferred me being an angry nuisance rather then a willowing self-pity filled blob sitting on the floor.

Self-pity filled blob… damn I really need to broaden my vocabulary.

"No. We don't know why he died Doll but damn it sitting around and acting like this isn't going to help. He's not coming back. Not ever, and none of us can help that."

Envy was now as angry with me as I was with the world. Which surprised me because he was usually the one to stick by my side regardless of how moody I became. If I was in a better mood, I might have acknowledged that he was just as frustrated with the current events as I was, hence his short temper.

But I was not in a good mood, and instead of keeping a cool ahead and admitting to how much of an asshole I was coming off to be I stood up and stalked out the door. But not without slamming with a satisfying crash it behind me.

_Ohhh, now even your friends can't stand you… your alone again Ron… you were always alone…._

"I wish _you_ couldn't stand me..."

I bit out trekking through hall after hall not even paying attention where I was going. I didn't care, it didn't matter. I could walk into a room full of spiders right now and probably wouldn't even flinch.

That's not true. If I saw a baby black spider crawling on the ground ten feet away from me Id probably have a panic attack. But still, you get my point.

Hopefully….

_But what on earth would you do without me….?_

"Probably be a lot less fucked up."

_You need me… without me you would be empty…_

"Because having a voice insulting me makes me so much fuller… You know what, shut up. Strictly speaking I'm not supposed to be talking to non-existent things."

I immediately had a flashback of Bick telling me those stupid pills would make the voice shut up and had to laugh out loud.

Right….the voice will shut up. And maybe cows will start flying.

But who am I to deny that evolution exists?

My feet had carried me into the surrounded courtyard and left me walking among shadowy flowers and the creepy looking statues that managed to be ever the more ominous at night.

Why the fuck was the courtyard open at night anyways? We cant go into the library unsupervised, because god forbid we get a paper cut but they'll let us roam about outdoors where we could bash our heads into cement without a problem?

Speaking of which why hadn't I been stopped by any nurses… scratch that why hadn't I seen any nurses….?

There was no one there when Fred and I had our not-so-lovely confrontation from hell. And I hadn't seen one since.

And once again, should I of been in a better mood I might of found this rather suspicious.

But I wasn't and therefore didn't give a fuck opting to instead sit on one of the benches and stare at the ground willing it to break.

It didn't, as expected.

I cant say how long I was out there before the wind and silence pushed all my anger away to leave me stuck somewhere between remotely clam, ashamed, and downright creped out cause I was sure the statue across from me just smiled.

A creepy sadistic I-will-eat-your-fucking-soul kind of smile.

But then that could be my psychosis or whatever it's called playing up again. I mean if it could make skeletons crawl out of shadows it could probably make statues smile. Or it could be the shadows playing tricks on me. Neither option looked good.

Did I leave the courtyard in a hurry after this? Yes, indeed.

Besides it was time I go apologize to Envy and the rest for acting so horribly and storming out like the four year old I tended to become once in awhile. They were right anyways.

Cin was gone. And no matter how much I hated it, it wasn't going to change. I just really hoped that he ended up in heaven, or wherever you go after you die. Because he deserved it.

And I thought it was a bit to selfish to hope he went to hell just so I could see him again when I died. Because I'm obviously not making it anywhere other then hell. But no, he deserved to be loved and have peace.

I on the other hand, deserved to be prodded by demons for the rest of eternity.

"Roaming around are we?"

Speaking of demons…..

Adam. I should of fucking known he would show up sooner or later. I mean honestly, so far today I've had a chaos course in therapy, been kissed by my brother in a total non-brother fashion, pissed of my best friend, and talked to the voice. The only thing that could complete my fucked up day would be for Satan to pop out of nowhere and continue to torture me.

Which he has done beautifully.

'Looks like it."

I deadpanned back continuing to walk. I'm guessing I don't have enough energy to be scared of him right now. Which suits me fine because I've had enough heart-stopping terror to last me a lifetime and I'm not even fifteen.

That's actually kind of sad…

_Everything about you is sad…._

This is true.

"Ohh. Attitude. That's not nice Doll. What would Cin Say?"

I can't tell you what came over me when those words slipped from his dirty, unworthy mouth. All I know is that some hot, blood boiling, hatred spewed forth at hearing his perfect name come from Adams mouth.

And I snapped.

Quicker then even I thought I could move I was on him, punching and hitting every part of his ugly face that I could reach with as much force as I could muster.

No it wasn't a lot of strength, but it was damn well enough to leave bruises and I intended to leave as many in my wake as was possible.

Fuck Adam, fuck Needleburg, fuck the voice, fuck Bick, and Shelly, and Takken and all those other assholes that screwed up everything and destroyed my life.

Well... destroyed what was left of my life.

The shock seemed to ware off the blond within minutes and he started fighting back, rage evident in his eyes. And in that moment I knew,_ I knew_ I was going to die.

But I didn't care.

He flipped me over and I felt his hand connect with the side of my face in a surly bruising blow that made everything flicker into blackness before coming back. It hurt like hell, but he did fail to break my jaw with that blow and I therefore did what any other crazy person would have done.

I bit a fucking chunk out of his arm.

Ok, for a side note, blood is nasty. I don't know how vampires can stand it. It's gross. And this was Adams blood, so that made it even more disgusting because it was probably filled with some sort of perverted virus which I now have been infected with.

Yay me.

However his obvious pain from the gouge in his forearm was enough to make me forget that I was getting the shit kicked out of me.

I made him hurt.

Damn that feels good…

_Horrible….._

Now if only I could make _him_ hurt. I could die happy….Close to happy anyways.

"You'll pay for that you little bitch."

He groaned out striking my face again. But it didn't matter. I only wished I'd still be around to hear him try to explain away that mark and my dead body to Bick and Takken tomorrow.

They would know it was him. Their mystery rapist/closet psychopath whose been handing out pills for sex behind their back. Their stupid and annoying, but honestly not that stupid.

I hope…

There was going to be a lot of patients pissed of at me tomorrow. Well... pissed off at my memory because remember he is going to kill me.

No longer will they have anyone to sneak pills to them. But they also won't be able to sell themselves out to be his puppets and slaves any longer either. And who knows? Maybe some of them will actually get better and get out of here without the head nurse from hell there to terrorize them.

It was only know that I noticed Adam had not struck me again, and looked up only to discover that Satan had been ruefully kicked away from me by a much angrier Rage.

My knight in a straight jacket, Rage is.

There was loud yells and the sound of skin hitting skin as one blond blue and one brunette one merged together like some angry mutant thing.

Yes, my vision has yet to become un-hazy but I could pretty much tell what was going on fair enough without it.

From the battle in front of me, to Bick running towards us and settling it with a flick of his wand.

Rage was seething, Adam looked like a mouse caught in a trap, and Bick….

He knew.

--

HA!

Well… there's nothing much to say about this update. Except Adam is going to get all he deserves. And that despite the horror of Ron in this chapter at the idea of Fred kissing him, the weasleycest will prevail.

Yes it will.

Much Love - Elixier


	33. Chapter 31

Broken Beyond Compare

Another update on time. I think I may have just died from shock…

The road to recovery finally begins in this chapter. And I put much emphasis on the word _finally. _It's taken a long while to get here.

Enjoy!

--

Chapter 31

--

Karma exists. And yes, it's quite a wonderful thing. Especially when it's well deserved. And in this case I can assure you that it was.

Adam had been lead away and locked in solitary to await the proper authorities. I only wish he had a bit of my insanity so little skeleton things can crawl out of the shadows and attack him. Dream big, huh?

And apparently they had suspected the head nurse of raping patients for awhile. Which blows my mind, because if they suspected the jackass why didn't they just fire him on spot?

Common fucking sense people. …..Not that I'm one to talk of such things.

_Maybe they wanted you to get raped…. You deserved it... sick…..horrible... _

"People don't get what they want. Because if they did, you wouldn't fucking exist, now would you? God stop talking to me."

_What would you do if I did… then you'd have no one… no one left…. Even you're precious Cin left you…._

Sadly I couldn't find any words to answer that and thus instead settled to ignore the voice in hateful silence.

I found myself for the second time tonight sitting in Bick's office. They had put me in here shortly after seizing Satan and sedating Rage as to prevent him from actually killing someone.

And by someone I mean Adam.

This time however I was alone. The Doctor was off and about doing only god knows what. Most likely dealing with officials, Takken, and other patients.

All of whom hated my guts. Oh yes, they saw the head nurse being escorted down to solitary by two other nurses, and knew exactly what was going on.

Which leads you to believe there not as insane as they first come off to be…

And with me traveling not to far behind, it made it only to obvious whom it was that had brought about the capture of the brilliantly and sadistically wonderful pill giver.

There not exactly to happy with me, as you can imagine. Not at all. But that's beside the point.

Without the oh-so-mighty doc here to prick and pry at me I was able to finally get a real look at his office.

Not that it was anything spectacular.

There were file cabinets, most likely stocked to the brim with countless documents on fucked up people. Like me. Plaques on the wall boasting his smarts and achievements. Wood desk with a neat stack of unused parchment and an eagle quill. There were no pictures, which lead me to wonder what the hell Dr. Bick did in his spare time.

It's actually quite alarming to me that I'm wondering that…

I didn't _want_ to know about Bick's home life, thanks. Because I imagine that what I could find out might add more scars to my already shredded psyche.

The office overall was very neat. Almost compulsively so. Everything organized, and put in its proper place.

I didn't like. Neatness and organization to this extreme bothered me intensely. Why? Don't know. Ill blame it on Hermione though. I swear to god if she nags at me once more for not putting my quills away in the 'correct' fashion, Ill stab her with one.

There was only one thing, not in place. A piece of parchment with neat handwriting upon it, sticking out like a sore thumb in the midst of all the order and what-not.

I should leave it alone. There were probably rules against nosing about your doctors papers, and if caught a trip to solitary was most certainly in order.

But I could hardly resist.

Thus, in all senses of bad judgment I plucked the parchment from the desk and let my eyes wander over it freely.

And I can't tell you that I was more then just a bit putout that it was all written in a language I couldn't understand.

"Curious, are we Mr. Weasley?"

Bick's deep droning voice startled me so badly I literally jumped out of my seat knocking over a bottle of black ink in the process.

What the fuck is with the sneaking up on people in this place?

With a wave of his wand he fixed the spilled ink and walked back to his customary chair behind his desk, gesturing for me to re-take my seat. Which I did, after picking up the paper and putting back hoping only he wouldn't be too horrible to me about it.

On the contrary, he smiled at me. The emotionless psychiatrist actually broke a grin.

Yes, it was scary as fuck. Thank you for asking.

"Don't worry, you wont get in trouble for this. I have been a psychiatrist for many years Doll. I know better then to leave legible notes where my patients can reach them."

Smartass….

_What wrong? Can't face solitary… afraid of your own mind….._

Very much so.

I shrugged him off and sat back in my seat, looking anywhere but at his wondering gaze. I have an idea of what was coming, and no amount of preparation could get my properly ready to deal with it.

"You need to tell me everything about Adam, Doll."

And there it was. Oh joyous day.

I said nothing in reply to this. Which I'm sure was expected. I didn't exactly know how to explain any of it nor did I have any desire to do so. It's not exactly something you want to relive.

Then again, there isn't much in my life that I'd care to relive, thanks.

"I understand it's hard. But you must listen to me…"

He took a deep sigh as if it was painful to form the words he wished to speak. This drew my attention instantly. Never had I seen the almighty doctor struggle over something to say.

"We know what he did… but we have no proof. Laws work in odd ways Mr. Weasley. If you don't tell us what happened its likely Mr. Briac will get off scotch free and end up doing this to more patients in a different asylum.'

My gut twisted at the thought of Satan not getting properly punished but my mouth defiantly stayed shut.

_Weak…. So weak……pathetic_

"You don't understand."

"Try me."

Damn if the doctor wasn't persistent as fuck.

"Why? So you can think I'm even crazier and lock me up in this hell hole for the rest of my life?"

Oh I bet he'd love that. And I would feel damn proud of that statement had it not been said so pathetically.

"I don't think you're crazy."

_Lies……_

"Right."

If he didn't think I was crazy, then why was I here?

"I don't. I think you're in a horrible state right now. Your in pain that you cant stop and don't know why."

Was that supposed to make sense? Because it really didn't. But then maybe I'm just too stupid to get it. Which is indeed possible, I mean I seem to of been the only one oblivious to things that are just so fucking obvious.

Like Fred's affections.

Not that I need to stray onto those thoughts right now…

'Why do you think you're here?"

What the hell kind of question is this? Isn't it flipping obvious why I'm here? I thought I was making it pretty damn clear with talking to voices in my head and ranting about skeletons and shit that no one else can see.

_Psychopath……_

Exactly. Even the voice gets it? Bick's a moron sometimes.

"Because I dear sir, am out of my fucking mind."

"You think so?"

"I know so. What part of all this are you missing? I have eight mental illnesses, you told me so yourself. I'm unfixable. A nutcase."

"You're hardly a nutcase Mr. Weasley, and you are not out of your mind."

"Oh really? And tell me oh great one, what makes you think so?"

"I have never seen a true psychopath... or rather nutcase as you so eloquently put it, feel guilt over anything they've done."

"What the hell make you think I feel guilty for something?"

I didn't like this. The way he had thing pouring out of my mouth before I could think about what it was I was saying. The way he was sitting there all calm and composed like he knew exactly what I was going to do next.

I was instantly reminded of a puppeteer and twitched before I could help myself.

"I have never seen you once expose your arms, or any other part of your body that has a self-inflicted scar."

I can honestly say that there was no preparing for that one. I suddenly felt uncomfortable and the anger the was fueling me before left to make way for more confusion and resentment.

"What makes you think that's guilt… maybe I just don't feel like wearing cloths that show them?"

Well that was a lame excuse….

"Or maybe you hate the sight of them. Maybe you don't want others to see what you yourself barley can stand to look at."

I couldn't answer that. Because he was right. And I hated that. Who gave him the right to get inside my head and pick at my own personal musings?

_Maybe you're just obvious you slut….._

He leaned forward on his deck again, bespectacled eyes examining my face. If there was one thing to credit the psychiatrist with it was that you couldn't read him. You never knew what he was thinking and/or what was going to come out of his mouth.

I never cared about that before, but now it irked me. He could read me that was clear. It wasn't fair I couldn't do the same.

"Do you know why, we don't hand out the pills Adam got for you all in this wing?"

I twitched again when a fleeting memory of what I had gone through to get those pills struck my mind.

It was just another question I couldn't answer.

"Because those pills are to give momentary peace to people we can't fix. You are not as broken as you think Doll. "

_he lies… he lies…….._

"The pills we assigned for you, will take awhile to work. There not going to take effect in a week or two. There not meant to just block everything out for a short span of time like your cutting did. There meant to take it away so you never have to deal with things like voices or hallucinations again."

My hands were clutching so tight at the seat it was starting to hurt and my throat was dry and cottony feeling. I didn't want to hear this… I didn't want to be here…

_He's lying….no one can fix you..._

"You're not unfixable. You're just lost."

…_.no one can help you…._

"You can't help me."

I stated, my voice sounding like an empty echo even to my own ears.

"No, no I can't. Not if you won't let me, like you have been doing. I know I'm not your favorite person, and I don't expect to be. But if you can trust me, at least for awhile, I can help you."

_He lies…… he lies…_

The voice was practically screaming in my mind, making my eyes water and my head spin. I wanted to cry, but I wouldn't. I refuse to break down like this, in this place. I wont fucking do it anymore.

"You don't want to be here. And I don't think you should be here. I don't think you belong here."

"Then where do I belong?"

"That's not for me to say. But I don't think locks and nurses are what you need. I also don't think it's what Envy or any of your other friends here need."

There was a drawn out silence after this as I let this information sink in. Albeit with difficulty due to the voice having his own breakdown in the back of my mind, screaming repeatedly about the lies I was supposedly being fed.

However I found I didn't care to listen to him anymore.

"That's what Cin said… that I'm not crazy… he told me before he died."

I'm not sure why I was sharing this with the doctor. It did cross my mind that maybe he was just saying these things because I was currently in a bad state and he could more then likely easily manipulate me to say what was on my mind.

What scared me even more though is that I didn't really think that he was. Before where I had seen a droning annoyance, I now saw someone who could help me. Who could help us….

Why am I thinking this?

_He can't fix you… you can not be fixed…_

Or maybe I can.

_You cant… you mustn't. _

"He was a smart kid Cin. I can see why you two got along so well. He was just like you when he first came here. Didn't care about anything, came in here for his sessions and ignored me completely. But after awhile he listened and he got better. One of the first patients of mine in this place to really get better."

Cin never lashed out at voices or talked to himself. He wasn't uncontrollable like Rage or skittish like the twins… he was normal. He was fixed…

"Why was he still here?"

I already knew the answer. And the stinging behind my eyes and the desire to cry was soon to persistent to ignore.

Cin was here, because no one else wanted him.

I guess Bick already knew, that I knew the answer because he chose not to respond to that and instead hand me a box of tissues and let me continue crying in peace.

I respected him for that to. I didn't want someone hovering over me and telling me that everything would be alright. Like my parents and brothers always did at home.

I wanted this to be over. And I would get out of here. I'll be damned if Cin's memory stays inside these walls.

I would be fixed, and I was getting out god-dammit. And I'm taking Envy and Rage and even the twins with me.

But first, I was going to make damn sure Adam never got out. He was going to rot in a cell like Cin had to for the rest of his fucking life.

I'd make sure of it.

"It started the night before the first visiting day I had here. I got up around four a.m... or around there and went to get something to drink….."

Four hours later and after I had literally talked myself hoarse I was released from Bick's office and blissfully sent to bed.

I had given a painfully detailed description of everything Adam had put us through and suggested with malice at the end that they should put him in a prison filled with men who were a lot bigger then the head nurse from hell was.

As horrible as it may sound, I wanted so badly for him to get what he had given to us. It would just complete me to know that someone had thrown him against a wall and raped him till he cried.

Terrible thought, yes. But I'm going to hell anyways.

The room was silent when I entered it. They weren't asleep, no. In fact all four of them were wide awake as it they were waiting for me. I guessed Rage and the twins had snuck out of their rooms a while ago considering lights out must of came and gone by now.

Envy was the first to try and speak. An apology right on the tip of his tongue before I motioned for him to stop.

He didn't need to apologize. I was the one going ballistic before. And we both knew and understand that. No sorry's were needed.

"Do you think we can be fixed?"

I must have shocked the hell out of all of them with that statement, and had I not been so serious with the question their expressions might have been amusing.

Can't blame them though, if someone would have asked me this two weeks ago I would probably have the same expression on.

Rage took a hit off the cigarette he was holding and looked me dead in the eye, always the first to recover from anything any of us might say/do.

"Without doubt Doll."

I shot him a smile which was returned full force, Skin and Bones soon to follow with Envy not far behind.

And it was agreed. We may never really be normal or sane. But we would get out of here.

--

Holy fuck that was a lot more angst then I originally intended to put in there.

Anyways, I expect there will be two to three chapters left in the fic.

Hope you liked it! And once again I'm going to try to keep the two-week updating going.

-Elixier


	34. Chapter 32

Broken Beyond Compare

Late. Yes I know. Blame the tourists making my job a living hell. Anyways, this chapter is pretty self-explanatory. It's basically just a bridge chapter to get us to 33.

By my guess we have two more chapters left before this story will come to an end. At long last, huh?

Enjoy.

--

Chapter 32

--

I always knew I was an outcast or at least overshadowed on a large scale. The chosen ones side kick, the smart girls best friend, Qudditch star, head boys, and troublemakers little brother.

Nothing special, nothing unique, and nothing anyone cared about.

And in recollection, being a no-one was a million times better then being 'the kid who turned in Adam.', and hated asylum-wide.

Oh yes. Only Envy, Rage and the twins stuck by me. Everyone else glowered and hissed when I walked by. And I do mean hissed in literal terms.

I had thought that within a few weeks the hype would die down, and people would get over it. Oh, but I was wrong. This was a fucking asylum, we don't have anything better to do then hold grudges and pass judgments.

Yay for us.

And while the hissing and glowering had died down a bit, it was still clear that almost everyone resented me in a horrible way.

On a bright side though, it did keep people the hell away from me. Which in all matters was a good thing because I was now back on Bick's treatments and his pills were putting me through more mood swings then I thought any one person should have.

The road to recovery is long. This is false.

Recovery, as I would come to find out, was not just a long road. Oh no, it was a long road filled with pot holes, jagged rocks, assassins, man-eating scorpion spider beasts, flooding, flames and erupting volcano's.

Not fun, not easy, and from the look of it, completely impossible.

Bick however was insisting otherwise.

It had been a week and a half since Adams departure at the hands of ministry officials. Which, on a side not I am happy to report he was tried in magical court, and found guilty. An eighty year to life sentence in a high-security island prison somewhere off the coast of Italy or Spain was his punishment and I could not be more thrilled.

That aside.

It had also been a week and a half of 'proper' care. Meaning taking all those horrible pills that I'm still convinced don't work, alongside appointments with Bick three times a week and an appointment with The bug lady once a week.

It sucks.

Not to mention this is only added to the guilt I feel every time I see Envy twitch or lash out at the voice in his head. I was so used to seeing him in complete control of this, due to the pills he acquired from Adam.

But he had no more of those pills and was on 'proper treatment' just like me. He wasn't exactly faring well as you can imagine…

The twins were also taking the hit hard. They fidgeted and twitched twice as bad as normal. You could sometimes find them sitting alone someplace and just staring straight ahead for no reason.

It was unnerving, and a dreadful change from their usual, and alarmingly, Fred-and-George like attitudes.

Rage was no different then he had ever been. Still the grouchy Ill-kick-your-ass-if-you-piss-me-off type of guy. And for this I was increasingly thankful.

We needed at least one semi-sane person among us to keep the rest of us from jumping off a fucking cliff…or rather the roof of the asylum... if indeed we could find it in the maze of hallways and floors this place seemed to be made of.

But I'm sure the twins could manage it.

I watched a group of adults walk by from where I sat hunched over an art room table. It was visiting day again, and I must admit that I'm more nerve-wracked about it then usual.

For one, there was no escaping early this time. Proper treatment meant un-interrupted visiting time with the family, according to Bick, I'm supposed to be re-connecting with. For two, they had sent home messages about the capture and trial of Adam. Thus every parent now knew exactly what their sons were subjecting themselves too to get pills and so on and so forth.

Probably another reason why everyone hates me…

And lastly… Fred. I didn't know what to say to him really. Now that everything had been laid out and made clear for my stupid self, I had a feeling I'd be even more awkward around him then usual.

I mean I did push him away and take off like a bat out of hell when he kissed me didn't I? That doesn't make for good conversation.

Strangely enough though, I wanted to see him. I wanted him to be here.

Which is scary as hell from my point of view. Because I couldn't pin-point exactly why it was I wanted to see him. I already stated that I wouldn't know what to say. What the hell are we supposed to do? Stare at each other for a couple hours. Sneak off and have a make-out session in a closet?

No.

But it was still there. This inexplicable need to see him. And I hated that I couldn't explain that. Not that it should be surprising.

Since when can I explain anything properly.

_Since never……_

Shoo fly, don't bother me.

_Sick child…. I'm here to keep you from becoming even more disgusting them you are…. Incestuous.. abomination… horrid…_

Yeah….

There was a noise of hurrying feet behind me and I soon found myself in a rib-crushing hug. Literally rib-crushing. I have two eating disorders here, there's not a lot to block the force…

"I can't breathe…"

I struggled out, noting the flowery covered arms around me to be my mothers. It was easy to tell anyways. No one can successfully suffocate you like my mother can.

"Ron. oh Ronnie. We heard all about it. That horrible man. Serves him right his sentence.. Oh I was so worried…"

Oh god… Please make it stop.

I loved my mother, really, but I didn't want to be reminded of this right now. Especially because near-by patients glowered at me twice as bad when my mother starting ranting.

"Molly dear, give him time to breath. He's been through a lot."

Dad to the rescue!

Right on time no less. I thought for sure I was going to die of lack of oxygen. Though given the circumstances I can't imagine I would mind much.

Turning around I saw that there was quite a turn out today. Apparently they had all heard about the trial and such and had come out to give comfort or try to make me feel worse about myself.

I was almost sure it was the latter of the two but I'm supposed to have an optimistic viewpoint on life from now on. Strictly speaking the latter of the two wasn't even supposed to pop into my mind.

Shows you just how much those depression pills are working.

My parents and Bill were here of course. Obviously. Charlie it seemed had come in from Romania and Harry, Hermione, and Ginny were probably missing valuable free time by being here. Percy taking a day off of work. And the twins… wait…. wait.. not twins. Twin.

Where was Fred?

George was here, but the other wasn't. And I had to take a moment to notice that he looked incredibly …. Non-George-like without Fred.

If that makes sense. Which I doubt.

_Horrible……….._

I couldn't say that I wasn't disappointed he wasn't here. Well.. I could but that would be a lie and yeah…. I'm not supposed to lie as part of my recovery.

That sucks huh? How are you supposed to live normally if you can't lie?

But I was disappointed. Almost to the point that it physically hurt and I instantly sank back down into my chair and pulled my legs to me. Blissfully drowning myself in a pool of pathetic misery.

He resented me now too I bet. Probably worse then all the patients in the asylum. He was probably in Hogwarts right now, sitting on his bed and hating my guts.

Normally that wouldn't bother me. And I really wish it wasn't bothering me now.

"Dr. Bick tells us your back on the right meds and are participating in meetings now Ron."

My Dad stepped up, trying to start up a conversation. As it seems for the first time in the history of all my visiting days no one wanted to talk. Where as usually they wouldn't shut up.

"Yeah."

That was such a dead response on my part. But I couldn't bring myself to care.

"Well that's good Ron. Very good. Maybe soon we'll have you home."

This time it was mum, jumping in a shooting out a smile. Trying to either make me feel better or lessen the tension in the air I guessed. Shame that she wasn't succeeding in either.

"Where's Fred?"

I asked half-way expecting jaws to drop in surprise. Couldn't blame them if they did. Two weeks ago I would have fucking thrilled if Fred hadn't showed up for visiting day.

How dare he ruin that for me.

"He was busy. Besides, he didn't think you'd want him to come."

And that was the end of that. It was awkward to here such a to-the-point response from George. The twins were accustomed to skiving around points and taking an hour to say something that could have taken two seconds.

Not anymore I suppose. At least not while I was around.

I had a sneaking suspicion that the silence of all my brothers had something to do with what had happened in the hallway between me and Fred.

Maybe they resented me as well.

_I bet they do….. oh I bet they hate your guts…………………_

Well fine. Screw them, they can have one big resentment party amongst themselves for all I care. They can sit around musing and resenting and eating popsicles till they were blue in the face.

Popsicles…

I was instantly reminded of that conversation we had not-so-long ago when Cin was here. Skin and Bones happily perverting my poor mind. It was just useless nonsense at the time brought it brought a smile to my face now.

I wished I had known how shit would turn out then. That I would loose Cin, screw up my friends with normal pills, piss of the entire asylum and kiss my brother.

Maybe it was better to not know though… I mean what would I of done about it? It's not like it could be helped. Besides I was happier thinking that I wasn't the one sick. That everyone else was. Thinking that I was at the top of the world with Envy, and that I'd have Cin forever.

Though it might not have been happiness. It could have just been denial of real problems. But I'm starting to sound like my psychiatrist and it's freaking me out.

Back to the resentment party.

"You didn't have to come you know."

I stated to no one in particular. Staring around the room for some glance of one of the others. Rage wouldn't be in here. But one of the other three might show up. So far all I was seeing though were glares being sent my way.

As expected.

"Why wouldn't we come?"

Charlie said slipping into the seat beside me and throwing an arm over my shoulder. And for the first time in a long time I didn't pull away.

It wasn't much but it was something. Much more progress then I had made in all the time I'd been here and I swear I could almost feel Bick die of happiness somewhere.

"We'll always show up to pick and pry at you Ron. You know, anything to destroy your life like the evil over-lords we are."

He then added. Dad blanched, Mum shot him a disapproving look, and I burst out into laughter.

Oh look. More surprised faces. God, you'd think they'd though laughter was impossible of me now.

_You're to sick to feel happiness you nasty little brat……_

"That you are Charlie."

I responded, wondering if I had ever actually accused them of being evil overlords. I accused Bill of being Satan a couple hundred times…. I suppose that would indeed count as an evil overlord but hey, he deserved it.

"It's nice to here you laugh again Ron."

Hermione threw out from where she sat beside Ginny. Sending me a weird smile that seemed to say I-am-so-sorry-your-crazy-and-I-don't-think-you'll-ever-get-out-of-here-but-hey-at-least-your-happy.

Can't blame her though. She functions on logic, and right now logic is point in the direction of me being strapped in a white room when I'm thirty.

Once again though, I'm not allowed to have those thoughts.

I decided not to answer her. Though it didn't matter for it finally seemed like the thick tension was at least waning a bit and voices begin to fill the air around me.

I can't really remember what everyone said. I know I didn't answer much, but to my credit I did say some things and listened to the best of my short attention spanned ability.

All in all it went a fair shot better then any of our other visits but together. A brilliant achievement on my part if I do say so myself.

_You call this an achievement……?_

Fuck you.

Soon enough a nurse came over to escort me back to the main rooms. And I was surprised by my lack of feeling about this. I felt no joy at getting away from my family and no sorrow for leaving them. Just nothing.

Ah well. Better then mood swings at least.

"Can you see if Fred will come next time….. if he feels like it and all."

I was almost sure ruined the entire semi-normal atmosphere by that request. Well at least on the side f my brothers but they didn't have much a claim to normal themselves.

"Sure Ron. I'll see."

George offered not really sounding like he though the request would go through, and I could almost feel my heart sinking.

Apparently he could too because he pulled me into a hug that one could almost say was an actual brother hug and not an I'm-only-hugging-you-to-stick-a-sign-saying-kick-me-on-your-back type of hug I was used to from him.

"I'm sure he'll come…"

I didn't believe him, but appreciated his efforts at being nice. It must be terribly hard for him to pull off.

"Did you talk to him?"

I was bombarded by the expected question as soon as I was back in the main lounge of the asylum. Envy was waiting for me on pins and needles it seems, anxious to here how my supposed conversation with Fred turned out.

"He didn't come."

"What?"

"He didn't show up."

"I'm so sorry Doll. Maybe he just figured you'd rather not see him after what happened. He'll be here next time."

Envy stated with a nod of his head as if that ended it.

You have to admire the fact that he can still remain optimistic even when he has a voice insulting him and the entire world on his shoulders. That a high level of difficulty, and a talent only he seemed to have.

"Maybe…"

Obviously I didn't share his outlook.

"He'll be here. He wouldn't go this far just to forget it would he?"

Rage put in trying to avoid the mostly likely emotional conversation that would transpire between me and Envy if he didn't jump in and put a stop to it.

Skin and Bones just sniggered in a corner, head bent over a piece of paper most likely plotting something or other. I couldn't be bothered to deal with it right now though.

I took up residence beside the black haired teen and popped a piece of watermelon tasting hard candy into my mouth, listening without interruption as Rage read aloud from a thick adventure novel.

We had discovered a little while ago that Rage had an amazingly soothing voice when he wasn't threatening someone or screaming. Needless to say we wasted no time finding a book we liked and more or less forcing him to read to us like the six years we were.

Secretly I don't think he minded it, but I wasn't about to say anything.

And as I was sitting there listening to how a hobbit with a ring made his way through a dark cave I realized that the voice was quiet as a mouse.

An unusual occurrence without doubt.

I settled back against the wall, unwrapping another piece of hard candy and letting the words and general sense of peace wash over me.

Who knows? Maybe Bick's pills work after all.

--

There you have it. How dare Fred not show up. HOW DARE HE!

Ill try to get the next chapter to you sooner. I'm finally getting over my sickness and hoping that maybe the tourism will slow down a bit due to gas prices.

Much love - Elixier


	35. Special Chapter Fred's POV 02

Broken Beyond Compare

Another of these. This is one is really short. Shorter then I was aiming for. But the next few ones will be longer. When it is that I get around to doing them **Dx**

Oh and for all of you who are wondering. Even though BBC is drawing to an end there will still be a few updates of these types of chapters well after the main story has ended.

Anyways. Enjoy.

--

Special Chapter -02-

--

??

--

**Reference Chapter 7**

--

This was all too much, too fast, and just… too unimaginable. I didn't like this place, I didn't like these people, and I didn't fucking like that they, from now until further notice, were going to have soul control over my little brother.

This old lady was almost defiantly off her rocker by the way she was explaining this to us all with that happy gleam in her eyes. She was obviously missing my glares, and Bills dead expression both directed her way.

Oh, but that wasn't the worst of it. There was this guy, this tall blond, cheeky, body builder type guy. The head nurse of the asylum, Adam... Brian... or Briac or some shit that I didn't care enough to remember.

There's something wrong with him. I don't know what it is, but he creeps me the fuck out. He was just unnerving, kind of like Percy's singing.

Which is fucked up trust me. What ever gave him the idea that he had any vocal talent is beyond me.

Anyways yeah... I didn't like him. And no, I wasn't all too amazingly pleased that he would have un-ending access to my little brother.

I can't exactly recall what was said in that room other then the statement that Ron may be here for awhile. Which we already knew and were also not pleased about.

We could have watched him at home. It was one fuck up, we forgot to charm the windows against breaking. Well now we knew better and all the windows were charmed and so on and so forth. What could this place do for him that we couldn't? Lock him up like an animal under observation?

He would be better at home. He would be…

But they wouldn't allow it and I glared darkly when that Adam guy winked at Ron. Hating every single fucking one of them as they lead him away from me.

"This fucking sucks."

"Fred Weasley you will watch your mouth..."

--

**Reference Chapter 11**

--

He was bruised. Who the hell bruised him?

"I fell."

Was that his excuse? Right, he fell. And I am a speckled fairy of happiness. Oh yes, yes I am. And George is my half-sunflower half-pixie side kick.

No. He was hit. Someone hit him.

Such a feeling of guttural rage came over me I thought Id lash out at the first person unfortunate enough to come near me. I could have sworn steam was coming out of my ears and all I could think about it was what I could be doing to whom ever fucking touched him.

You don't touch Ron. Not ever.

I went to turn his face to inspect this bruise more fully and watched with a tangible feeling of pain as he shrank away from me like I had the plague.

I hate not being able to touch him…

And who the fuck was this guy?

I only just registered a guy about my height with dark skin and slightly bushy hair come up to us. And watched as a pretty smile broke out on Ron's face as he literally flung himself into this … this intruder.

My vision went red.

This guy can just come out of nowhere and practically crush him in a hug, but I can't fucking touch him without him shuddering or moving away? I wouldn't allow this. And I distinctly felt a heated burning sensation in the pit of my stomach and it was a literal effort not punch him until you couldn't see his face through the blood.

Needless to say I snatched my little brother right away from this jackass.

"Who the hell are you?"

I snapped hatefully, resisting the urge to spit on him. Then he smiled and I was sure I heard my knuckles crack

"You must be Fred."

Who the fuck did he think he was?

Cin. What the hell kind of name is that? It was stupid and pointless.

In fact I was almost deathly sure that everything about this guy was stupid and pointless. And he just stood there with that annoyingly irritating smile on his face as if this meeting was all fun games to him.

Yeah, let's see how fun it is when I break his fucking face…

"Fred stop it. You don't have to be such a jerk."

I fumed. Ron was standing up for him? This fucking.. insane inmate that he had met like what… two weeks ago? I was his brother. I knew him since he was born and I can't even come close to him without being told off? Oh but this guy, this guy could prance right in here and do whatever the hell he wanted and he gets defended for it?

Why was he calling him Doll? They nicknamed him Doll?

An incomprehensible jealousy crept up upon me and I wanted nothing, absolutely nothing, more then to bash in this guy's head.

A new kid came in the room just then. Black haired, skinny, very skittish and panicky looking. I had to wonder if he was always like this or if something was really wrong. I mean.. this was an asylum and you can't easily tell with crazy people.

Wow.. insensitive much?

Then another man came in, I swear to god this party is just getting bigger by the minute. He was old though and I recognized him from a meeting as Doctor Bick, Ron's secondary psychiatrist.

He looked grave indeed and I only just managed to hear the word rape before my eyes practically bled with vicious hate.

Someone was going to die.

--

Yeah very short…

God this thing makes me want to gouge my eyes out with a spoon. I have no idea why I can't get Fred the way I want him. And no matter what I do I can't seem to word it to the point that I'm happy with it.

Damn you Fred for being difficult. _Curses……_


	36. Chapter 33

Broken Beyond Compare

I know. I'm late. HORRIBLY LATE. And you're all out there probably huffing in you chairs all 'God : What the hell excuse does she have this time for being lazy and not writing.'

Well you can blame that on my boss and tourists. Making my job a living hell they are. I've worked the last twenty-eight days straight. ''faints''

But as today is my first day off in a while I made damn certain to get this all typed up!

Sorry for being so late with this update and I hope you all enjoy it!

--

Chapter 33

--

Three days. Three fucking days. That's seventy-two hours, and a whole lot of seconds.

Three days that the voice had been quiet. Not so much as a single word. Not one.

I was flabbergasted.

Till now I didn't think the voice could be quiet. And hey maybe he's gone? Maybe Bick's treatment worked? Or maybe he's just being quiet to make me think he's gone when in reality he's lying in wait to take control of my mind.

The thought made me laugh out loud and draw a stare from the psychiatrist before me. Apparently he saw nothing amusing and me laughing for absolutely no reason probably isn't to helpful to his 'I can fix you' view on things.

Still funny though.

"You seem to be in a better mood then usual."

Bick stated in the most monotonously boring voice, marking some notes on his clipboard.

I sighed aloud and sunk into my less-then-comfortable seat. You know it really wouldn't kill the man to show some sort of emotion. I mean he's the one always saying that 'letting it out' is good for the mind or soul… or something like that.

Hey. You couldn't pay full attention to a guy who speaks like Professor Binns either so butt out.

I guess I was in a better mood then usual. And I supposed I felt a bit better, I mean three days without the voice was doing wonders for me. Well…perhaps not wonders but close to them.

I was starting to eat a bit more, and I had managed to gain a few pounds which left me looking a bit less like a walking skeleton. Envy was starting to look human with the same slight gain weight and we were slowly working on the twins.

They might actually eat now but I still don't see how either of them will ever be over a hundred pounds at the most. It's a sad fact.

According to Envy their parents put their self-image down so much that if they ever did reach over a hundred pounds suicidal was a state they could quickly slip in to.

It seems I'm the only one in this asylum without crooked parentage. Well, with the _least_ crooked parentage anyways.

"A bit better, yes."

I answered truthfully. I really was trying to put some effort into this whole 'therapy' shit I had been forced into. I'm sill not a hundred percent sure it worked and all that jazz, but hell. Its better then nothing right?

"That's good. Very good. I'm glad to hear it Doll. If you carry on like this you might be out of here by Christmas."

Bick stated as though this should give me hope.

It didn't. And I hate Christmas. But I shrugged and said naught in reply. I didn't really feel in the mood for a lecture on how I should be looking toward the future and making plans and this and that ect, ect…

Wasn't exactly on my list of things to do today as you can imagine.

He shuffled through my file putting all the papers back in order. Our session was almost up today and it was then that a thought struck me.

"Can I have Cin's file?"

I don't know why I wanted it. It wouldn't do me any good. But … I just did. Maybe it was some internal need to have something of his. Something that was essentially important. And besides, I couldn't bare the idea of anything baring his name to be thrown out like it was unimportant.

Bick regarded me for a long moment, as though determining in his mind weather or not this was a good idea. Apparently he saw no real harm in doing so because he turned to a large filing cabinet behind him and dug out the requested file.

"Are you sure you can handle this? I realize how much he meant to you…"

God what the hell? I didn't want some pressing lecture about how I was just so fragile and couldn't take this and couldn't handle that.

I had lived through rape, insanity, and so on and so forth. If one person even tries to suggest I can't handle something I am going to cut their hearts out. Yes. Yes I am.

I snatched the file from his hands and stalked out of the office not liking the way he was all of a sudden treating me like a six year old.

Do I look like a fucking six year old? No I do not. I look like a skeleton, there's a difference.

Once in the hall and staring at the manila folder in my hands I realized for the first time that maybe this could affect me. Who knew what was in it… but I refused to allow myself to prove Bick right even if I was the only one who would know about it.

I knew I didn't want to look through it with anyone. At least not yet. I wanted to go through it on my own. Why? Don't know.

Perhaps though it has something to do with the fact that this was it. The last piece of Cin I had and I just couldn't bare to share it. Not right now.

With that in mind I twisted my way through the halls, taking extra care to avoid everyone and anyone on the way. It was a pretty easy task considering half the asylum still hates my guts, but if I were to run into Envy or the twins there would be questions.

It's not like I don't trust them… I just wanted this to just be mine. Only mine… for a little.

I find it weird how I keep telling myself just for awhile, only a little, as though I'm actually going to share this file with the others one day.

And who knows? I might. But then I might not. First I had to see… I had to look. I don't know why… I mean it really should only be a bunch of papers saying what illnesses Cin was supposedly suffering from. I don't know why I felt it was so important.

But I did. And I was making an extraordinarily fast beeline for the only place I knew of that would be empty this time of day. The library.

We crazy people have much better things to do then read. Like hallucinate, stalk panda squirrels, and talk to inexistent things.

And yeah, panda squirrels are real buddy. If they didn't the kid two doors down from me wouldn't talk about them non-stop.

Once I got to the library I chose a table in the farthest corner at the back, hoping if anyone did come looking for me they wouldn't bother to check that far.

Not that anyone would think to look for me in here anyways…

I must have stared at the folder for a full thirty minutes before even opening it. It was thick, much thicker then my own file. Then that should be obvious seeing as I was here what? Six months and he had been here forever.

Because no one cared….

The thought was maddening and I flicked open the folder a bit more harshly then I should have causing a few papers to fly out and lay on the table.

It was just as I expected. Important looking papers stating what illnesses Cin had and documentation of his actions when he was supposedly in a different personality.

According to the file Cin had four personalities when he first came here. James, a rather mean... slightly psychopathic guy with a liking for corpses. Freaky? Why yes. There was Matthew a shy timid six year old, Lex a depressed and miserable one and then there was Cin himself.

It was actually really interesting to read into what Bick had written about each one and how seamlessly they went from one personality to the next.

A little creepy as well but this was Cin. There was nothing you could say about him to make me adore him any less.

It was all basically the same, nothing really too out there or anything that I hadn't already been told about or had imagined on my own. Pretty much nothing in there caught my attention until I feel upon a document about a meeting Bick and Cin the day before they found him dead.

It was almost written like a play. It had what Bick said, and underneath what Cin said. With the names bolded and everything almost as if they had expected someone to read it.

A disturbing thought no doubt. And all in all it started out normal and everything but then somewhere in the middle it just seemed to change.

**Darrien 3:15pm **– It's pretty much the same as usual Doc. There's really nothing much to talk about, huh?

**Dr. Bick 3:15pm – **You live in this place? And you think there's nothing to talk about? My dear boy there's always something to talk about here.

**Darrien 3:15 – 3:16pm – **Do I have a choice on where to live Professor? There's nothing to talk about because this entire place is a mundane routine from hell. And you, you are Satan.

**Dr. Bick 3:18pm – **Who am I speaking to?

**Darrien 3:18pm – **Guess.

**Dr. Bick 3:18pm –** James. When did you get back?

**Darrien/James 3:19pm – **I never left. We never left.

It went on like that. I had read that James was the scary one but as I actually read the conversation Bick had with him I found out just how creepy that personality was.

The entire thing was dark, much darker a mood then I myself had ever been in. James hated this place… he hated everything from they way he spoke. And not just in that goth, I hate the world cause its stupid sort of attitude. But actual hatred….

For two straight hours it went on like that and they discussed terrible, horrible, things. Things bad enough to make my insane ass cringe.

And that takes a lot….

I almost felt as though I was reading a horror novel rather then actual files on a real living person.

Well….once living…

**Dr. Bick 5:34pm – **Darrien?

**Darrien** **5:34 – 5:35pm – **Yeah… sorry about that…. it came back out of nowhere two weeks ago.

**Dr. Bick 5:35pm – **All of them?

**Darrien 5:35pm – **Just James.

**Dr. Bick 5:35pm –** Why do you think he came back all of a sudden?

**Darrien 5:36pm – **I don't know….

**Dr. Bick 5:37pm – **Did something…..

**Darrien 5:37pm – **No. It just came back.

**Dr. Bick 5:37pm – **We'll get rid of it. We'll fix it like last time.

**Darrien 5:37-5:38pm – **It didn't get fixed last time. Cause if it did it wouldn't have come back. It's different this time…. It's worse. I could hurt someone.

**Dr. Bick 5:38pm – **Your strong Darrien, we can get rid of it. I can help.

**Darrien 5:39pm – **I can't do that again. I can't go through the treatments. Not all over again, I won't. It's not worth the fight.

**Dr. Bick 5:40pm – **Freedom… is the worth the fight Darrien. I've never had any doubt in you…….

**Darrien 5:40pm – **Do you think you can help Doll?

**Dr. Bick 5:42pm – **You know I'm not allowed to reveal anything about other patients to…..

**Darrien 5:42pm – **I didn't ask for a reveal or information I just wanna know, man to man, if you think you can help him get out of this place.

**Dr. Bick 5:43pm – **I do.

**Darrien 5:43pm – **Do it then.

**Dr. Bick 5:45pm – **And what do you intend to do about James's return?

**Darrien 5:46pm – **Ah, you know me. Ill find a way out of it.

So his personality disorder came back… Maybe that's why he seemed so off those last weeks. And why he seemed so desperate for me to listen to him that night.

I couldn't help but feel like I had been stabbed right through the stomach. The thought that he killed himself simply cause he didn't think it was worth it. Because no one told him that it was… no one told him how important he was.

And that killed me. Because he was important. So important…

I flicked the file shut. I didn't want to read it anymore. Now I knew what Bick meant when he asked if I thought I could handle it. And I cant… I had wanted so badly till now to know what happened that night.

And in review, I think I liked it better thinking he had been murdered or that it was an accident. But now I knew... and I hate the truth. I know I hate the truth and I don't know why I wanted to know it.

I didn't want to know he killed himself.

So caught up was I in my musings that I didn't notice I had hot tears running down my cheeks. Hadn't even paused to realize I was crying at all.

That was until I felt a hand wipe said tears away.

Yeah... that threw me off a bit. So much that I almost fell off the chair in my hurry to find out just whom it was who was spying on me.

"What are you doing here?"

I asked in a baffled manner staring up into mildly amused blue eyes.

"You asked me to come didn't you?"

Fred stated right back. I knew it was him because George wasn't one to stalk people into the depths of a library. Seeing as how said twin usually tried to avoid any spaced where books took up most of the room.

"Is it visiting day already?"

I mumbled out trying to remember what day it was and how I seemed to of missed two straight weeks. God… it's a sad moment when you literally have to take time and really think about what the hell is going on around you.

Apparently I'm more oblivious then I had originally thought.

"Yeah."

"Really?"

I was still having a hard time grasping that visiting day was once again upon me but snapped back to reality when I saw my brother's hand reach out for Cins file.

Needless to inform I pulled all the papers right back into that folder and clutched it to my chest like a lifeline.

"That's nothing..."

I stated not quite ready to share what I had discovered. Luckily I was saved from this by the realization that Fred was indeed here and we had not spoken since that incident in the hall what was it... four weeks ago now?

Something like that.

My elder brother decided it was best not to pursue the contents of the folder and turned his attention to me instead. Something, mind you, I wasn't quite sure I was ready for.

"So. You wanted to talk."

"Yeah….."

I stated back awkwardly, shifting from foot to foot like I had often seen Charlie do when he was in trouble.

"So? Talk."

Well god. Pushy isn't he? And the way he said it grinded on my nerves. Like he didn't even care. Or he was masking any care he did feel quite magnificently.

"You don't have to be such a jerk."

Oh… this is not at all how I envisioned this talk to go. Ah well, he had already ticked me off and it was already on. Mid-as-well roll with it.

"Oh? I'm a jerk. You bitched me out last time we saw each other."

"You deserved that."

"I did not deserve that. And then you fucking took off like your ass was on fire and didn't even finish talking to me….."

"You. Kissed. Me."

Yes. Hear the capitols. Hear them.

"Yeah. I did Ron, and then you pushed me into a wall and took off."

"What the hell did you expect me to do? I wasn't exactly ready to be kissed out of nowhere. Let alone by you."

"Well I sure as hell didn't expect that. Let alone by you, what the fuck is that supposed to mean?"

I think the most interesting thing about this argument was that we were both yelling at each other in whispers. Albeit angry, harsh whispers. It sort of took away from the moment and I made a mental note to never start an argument in a library again.

"You're my brother. I never thought….. What would you do if Bill just up and kissed you out of nowhere?"

I for one would die of fright. Fred kissing me was shocking, Bill kissing me would be on a whole new level.

I shuddered at the thought.

"Id be stunned."

Fred stated as if it was the most simple thing in the world and had nothing to do with the predicament we found ourselves in.

"Exactly. You should have at least warned me…"

"Warned you? At what point in your angry rant did you want me to interrupt with 'hey, I'm going to kiss you. Thought I'd just give you a heads up and all….' God Ron. I didn't know I was going to do it until it happened. And I did try to tell you. That day on the bed and you brushed me off just like you. Always. Do."

He put emphasis on the last words and I would have loved to of objected to such a claim. But… I had been brushing him off. As often as I possibly could.

I hadn't even remembered that day when he was going to tell me something until now. I suppose I should have recognized it then, but I've always been oblivious to such things and come on. You don't actually expect one of your own brothers to profess non-platonic feelings for you.

That's kind of a curve ball and I for one think I deserve some form of credit for not going completely ballistic when he kissed me.

Thank you very much.

"Yeah well I thought you just going to make fun of me. Seeing as you so enjoy mocking me at every turn…"

And, may I remind you, he does. Acid Pops, Spiders, making me feel lower then dirt at least once a week. Yeah, I'd say it was one of his and George's favorite pastimes.

Besides wrecking havoc on the free world…

"Is that what you think? I was going to mock you? After everything we found out. You're my baby brother, God what the hell do you think I am? Yeah I know we play pranks on you and shit but we always make up for that and there just jokes…"

"I'm not talking about jokes. You always find a way to make me feel worse then I already do. For once I'd like to just be at the bottom without you two showing up and thrusting me into a deeper hole."

Oh… poor choice of words on my part. I blushed furiously, Fred cracked a grin.

"Nice wording Ron. Worked really well that."

He stated in-between laughs. Soon enough we were both laughing madly at my horrible pun and I head to lean on him for support when my legs no longer wanted the job.

I'm not really sure when I found his face hovering mere inches from my own. Or if any words were said from the laughing fit to that point. But I do know that it was me who closed the gap between us. Sucking in a breath and kissing him, ignoring all the second guesses and self scolding my mind was throwing at me for such an act.

I felt arms suddenly around my waist and a smile pressed against my lips. And it made me think that even after all that had happened maybe… maybe things would turn out ok after all.

--

WHOO!

One more chapter left! Finally this story will come to an end!

Yippi! And then I can move on to my other stories which have been gathering a healthy layer of dust at the back of my computer!

Much love - Elixier


	37. Chapter 34 Final

Broken Beyond Compare

Here it is. At long last. I won't type to much here and make you wait to read the actual chapter. I hope you enjoy the final installment of BBC.

_-and remember that I will be putting up two to three more chapters in Fred's P.O.V so if you see this is updated don't worry, I'm not adding more to the story just changing the view point.-_

Enjoy.

--

Chapter 34 – **Final**

--

My breath showed in the chilled wind, twisting up in interesting patterns with every exhale. It was night, midnight I'm presuming… or something close to it. At the very least it was dark out. But as for the direct hour I'm at a loss.

France is flipping cold at night in winter. Obviously… But I mean seriously bone-chilling cold. The type of weather that stings in the back of your throat when you inhale.

Yeah, cold.

I really shouldn't be standing on the balcony at this obscene hour, but I needed quiet and time to think. The wizarding side-village we were in provided quiet in ample supply at night. Thinking, however, was another issue.

Never my strong point that.

I got out three months ago.

After spending a year and a half in the care of Needleburg asylum they released me. It was a Friday last October, cold but not like it is here. I remember perfectly.

One doesn't forget their first breath of freedom after staying in a place like that.

There were strings attached of course. I still had to have sessions with Dr. Shelly three times a week and my body was monitored for any new marks.

After awhile the monitoring stopped, unfortunately the sessions still remain.

I still think that woman is a blubbering idiot. I was getting to the point where I actually missed Bick.

Shocking, yes.

Envy was released the same day, Rage two-days before. I must have clung onto them both for hours before anyone managed to pry us apart. The reality that we were out still hadn't sunk in then.

It seemed painfully surreal.

Skin and Bones are still there. We write to them often. I must have begged them countless times to eat. Their working on it. Bick said if they keep on the program they'll be out by April.

It's January.

Envy and Rage sleep now in the motel room next to mine. Freedom aside, I couldn't function in reality without them. Envy spent the first two months he was out in the Burrow with me. Albeit after much persuading, mind you.

It's not like anyone had a choice in the matter. We wouldn't be separated. Though Mum liked to think she still had a choice regardless of weather or not that was true.

I'd let her believe what she wanted as long as it didn't include him being away from me.

I didn't want to face the idea of what life would be like without Envy. So I didn't. For now though, it was ok.

But I would be returning to Hogwarts next fall.

Or so that was the plan. I've yet to decide if that's what I wanted. They all knew… the students there. Due to the extensive and public issue with Adam everything had been broadcasted rather distastefully in the Daily Prophet.

They all knew.

I'm not sure I want to be around so many people who know that about me. Who know, and don't understand it to save their lives. They couldn't possibly.

They weren't there.

Envy mentioned something about being able to secure some private tutors to teach us everything we'd learn in school. Were in the same grade and the teacher or teachers wouldn't know us as anything other then the two kids they was educating.

I liked that idea better. But I hadn't mentioned it yet. My mother wouldn't be happy. Plus I didn't want to start any drama. I don't think I could handle it at the moment anyways.

The first place I went was Cins grave.

I had to let him know that we had made it. That we had escaped that horrible place and that we did it for him. All for him. I must have sat there for hours, the ground was hard but it didn't matter.

I got him a tombstone by the way. Did you know?

It was my first course of action when I got out of the asylum. Good just as well, they told me I should keep myself constantly occupied the first month or so. To keep my mind off unpleasant things.

Which in basic terms means, keep yourself busy so you won't have a relapse.

Either way it was something I had always planned to do. It was smooth and white. I didn't like the normal grey for him... grey didn't suit him. It was dreary and bland. Cin should never be associated with such things.

It had his name printed in big golden letters and the words – You will not be forgotten – printed underneath. There was no date of death or birth. I thought those were stupid, it doesn't matter how many years you lived, but what you did in those years.

He did more then I think he even knows. Or rather, knew.

There was also a phoenix carved into the rock beneath that, because when I thought of phoenixes I thought of Cin. To rise out of the ashes in the darkest situations.

And he had. I know it doesn't seem as so considering the way he died and why, but you have to look at what his life had been like up to that point. He had already gone through the pain. Already had the illness and he had been cured. He should have been let out.

He should have been….

The stone wasn't good enough even then. I wanted something on it to set it apart from the names around him. He wasn't just one in a crowd, he was special. He was more.

It took me three weeks to decide what to write on it. At last I chose a poem that I had thought about from the beginning and kept coming back to.

_Some say the world will end in fire_

_Some say ice_

_From what I've tasted of desire_

_I hold with those who favor fire_

_But if I had to perish twice_

_I think I know enough of hate_

_To say that for destruction ice_

_Is also great and would suffice_

I don't know who wrote it or where I found it. I can't remember that now. But I know that it struck a chord with me. I can't say why I don't really know. But it stuck in my head from the moment I read it.

If I had to take a guess though, I'd say it was the perish twice part. From what Envy had told me about Cin when he first arrived in Needleburg, you could say he was dead then.

But he came back as the funny, clam, peacemaker we all loved only to leave once more not too long after.

He died at sixteen. It wasn't fair.

I was there the day they set it in the graveyard.

Part of me wanted to crawl back onto the grave and lay there till I withered away. Much like I had the day of his funeral. Another part of me though felt oddly completed. As though I had, at long last, fulfilled the promise I made to him.

I hadn't, but at least I made sure that no one would ever forget him. And I hoped every time someone walked by his grave they stopped to look.

He deserved nothing less.

I suppose I got wildly off-topic there. Your probably wondering why I'm in France.

Envy lived in France. Well his parents did. He returned to get money. A huge lump sum that I would never be able to earn with a well-paying job even if I worked my entire life.

It was presented to him by the help as per-usual. The same gruff old man whom had come to visit us at the asylum and fumed when we called him a butt lure.

His parents hadn't wanted to see him. I don't think he cared.

I came with him, after much persuading to my mother. She didn't care for the idea, but caved in none-the-less. I think Dr. Shelly had something to do with it.

Something about me forming a dependence on Envy that I'd yet to be cured of.

It didn't matter. At least I got to go. France was beautiful. I'd never been there save for the one-day taste of freedom we had that once when we'd stolen Adams car.

I wonder if it's still in that ditch. I hoped it was. Maybe I'll go see before we head back to the Burrow.

There was a shifting of sheets in the room behind me, I paid it no mind.

I had come to learn that Fred was a very restless sleeper.

He'd come with us to France. Mum wouldn't allow me to go with just Envy and Rage. Said I needed more supervision. The twins had come under the idea that they could expand their soon-to-be joke shop by making connections or some shit like that.

I still lack the ability to pay attention.

In reality Fred just wanted me in his sights and George came along for a free trip.

Big surprise there, eh?

I found I didn't mind him watching me as much as I used to. Before where it had pissed me off to high heaven, now seemed almost like a comfort. I felt safer when he was around.

Safe from what? Myself I suppose. As though he could actually save me from that. Or Adam… though he was locked away and never getting out.

Ha ha to him.

Either way it was comforting to have him near. And it had nothing to do with the fact that we were now in an incestuous relationship that would surly put me back into an asylum should anyone ever find out.

I find it kind of funny actually. Get out of an asylum only to stand on ice cold balcony's and sleep with my older brother.

What would Bick say?

I don't think I count as 'cured' anyways. Maybe I would one day… but it certainly wasn't now.

I still had the urges.

Every time I saw a knife the thought would enter my mind. The image of blood on the flawless metal would float around in my head and sometimes it was more tempting then it had ever been before.

I've actually done it twice. It was only two cuts each time. Deep but small on my upper thigh.

Don't look at me like that. Twice in three months isn't bad at all.

It probably would have been three times if Bill didn't find me that once.

The blade was nearly touching my skin when he walked in the room. I though for sure his head was going to explode.

They told him I was 'fixed'.

I wonder now if it's even possible to be fixed. I was no longer as messed up as I was. But I'm not normal. I still think about knives when I get upset, and maybe I always will.

I don't hear the voice anymore. But I swear sometimes I can hear whispering just out of my reach as though he's still there just weak.

That's only happened twice in close to ten months. But it still happened. The idea that he may come back scares me.

Something that I'm sure the voice would love to know should he still be about.

I told Bick about it when I was still in the asylum. He told me it was normal.

I think he's wrong, but I didn't say anything.

Anyways Bill flipped his lid. Took the knife and snapped it in half. Watched me like a hawk for the next four weeks till I came here.

Thankfully he didn't tell anyone. Save for the twins… mostly because he wants them baring over me like hound dogs here because he's not around to do it himself.

His word was being carried out. Fred watched me much like my dear oldest brother did.

He knew things Bill didn't though. Like how I often find myself staring transfixed at knives for semi-long periods of time till I'm snapped out of it.

He hid all the sharp objects on me.

He also knows about the four marks on my upper thigh. He'd seen them the last time we had sex.

Which, by the way, isn't quite as awkward as I had imagined it would be. He knew what he was doing.

I wondered about that too but decided I was scarred enough without knowing the intimate details of my brother's sex life.

Even if I was currently his sex life.

Moving on… He'd seen them and had questioned. He already knew the answers so I didn't tell him. Fred watched me closer after that. But that was ok, it was expected.

I had been preparing for my release three months before it happened. I knew they would watch me every waking minute.

I don't think they trust me. They had no reason to, I suppose.

They have yet to give me my wand back, did I tell you?

I don't know what they suppose I'm going to do with it should they give it back. Hex myself into a fucking oblivion or something of the like.

There are spells for cutting things but I've never heard of them being used on humans. And somehow the idea of being sliced into actual little pieces like the potatoes mum uses for stew doesn't appeal to me.

Suddenly there were warm arms around my waist and I jerked and fought off the desperate need to scream.

I hated when people grabbed me from behind. Hated it. Even more so since Adam and that whole fiasco.

I still don't like to be near closets…

"I wish you wouldn't fucking do that."

I snapped not turning around to look at him. He does it on purpose I think, just to piss me off. Regardless of our current more-then-brotherly state Fred simply can't resist getting on my last fucking nerve.

He's very good at it, as you can imagine.

"God, bitch. Woke up on the wrong side of the bed did we?"

"God, ass. Pushed me on the wrong side of the bed didn't we? You're sleeping on the couch from now until you fucking die."

I felt him smile behind me in that devious was that suggested he was about to say something either very sarcastic or seriously perverted. Or both depending on what day it was.

"What would you do with me sleeping on the couch, eh? No use I'd be all the way in the living room."

"Your no use in bed, so what's the difference."

Oh yeah, I didn't spend half my life insane just to come out of it and not know how to thoroughly burn my older sibling, Thank you.

"Oh, that hurt Ron."

I snorted but leaned back into him all the same. Hey, when it's this cold out I'll take a warm body when I can get it.

It was quiet for a few moments and all that sounded was the chilly winds that seemed intent on sneaking into my jacket. I noted then that my brother wasn't wearing a jacket and stopped to wonder vaguely weather or not he was trying to get ammonia.

I should have known the silence wouldn't last. It never does.

"You were thinking about it again weren't you?"

It, being the years I spent in hospitalized supervision.

I forgot to tell you that, didn't I? No one likes to talk about the years I spent in Needleburg. My family hasn't so much as mentioned it once since I got out. It's as if there all trying to pretend like it didn't happen.

To some extent that bothered me. I didn't want them all picking and prying over it mind you, I want to forget as well. But the thing is I cant forget. It'll never happen and having everyone tip-toe about as if I never actually went off the deep end is irritating in a way you cannot possibly imagine.

Ah well I suppose it can't be….

"Stop it."

I was baffled for a second or so having momentarily forgotten Fred was still with me.

"Stop what?"

"Thinking."

I wish…..

"And how the hell do you suppose I do that?"

I felt a pair of soft lips on my temple and the strong arms around my waist tighten. That feeling of utter safe-ness washing over me and all lucid thought was put on hold.

After having felt real fear you learn to shut up and not question the seconds in which you feel safe.

"You can't change the past Ron. No matter how long you sit musing on it. It's not going to undo itself."

No shit.

He turned me around in his arms till I was facing him. A serious look on his face that didn't suit him at all, firm but gentle hands grasping my shoulders as if trying to stop me from running away.

Where am I to run on a balcony? That's beside the point.

"I wish I could erase the time you spent there. I wish I could have stopped everything from happening. I wish…."

His left hand moved down to where he knew the four marks on my leg stood. I shivered.

"I wish I could so something about these. But I can't. You have so much ahead of you Ronnie. Don't let your past change that."

That was strangely deep… Fred didn't suit deep. He suited sarcastic and snappy. Though I appreciated his attempt at being sweet and in a way he had a point.

But I wasn't ready to move on yet. There would be a day perhaps when I'd be able to let everything go and move forward. The wounds were still open though, and it'd take time for them to heal.

"Don't call me Ronnie."

I mumbled burying myself into his shirt not being able to come up with any better a response.

"Ronnikins?"

Fred suggested, a smirk in his tone and I smacked him.

"Defiantly not that. Jerk."

I stated, not sounding as serious as I would have liked due to the smile that was slowly taking over my face.

"_Bitch."_

"Prick."

"_Prat."_

"Ass."

"_Git."_

"Dick."

"Yeah, but I'm your dick."

Fred added in response and I couldn't help but laugh.

"Well I should damn well hope so."

Interesting relationship we have, no?

"Yeah, well now that we've had our little heart to heart can we go in? I stay out here much longer and my testicles will fall off."

I sniggered and pushed him away walking inside feeling quite devious for someone whom had been sinking into a semi-depression not ten minutes ago.

"And we wouldn't want that now would we?"

Fred waggled his eyebrows suggestively and followed into the welcoming warmth. The sliding glass door closing with a soft snap to block any of the harsh winds from coming in.

And any harsh thoughts from coming back.

I am not fixed. I'm not cured nor am I what anyone would consider fully sane. My life was still hovering between peace and chaos and maybe it always would. But for now though I was going take life and freedom one day at a time and not worry about what I couldn't change.

It was a big step but I had people on my side to help me. Always had really, just never realized it.

Life is far from better.

For now though, at least for the moment, everything was ok.

-- **End **--

WHOOO!! DONE! At long flippin last, eh? What was it… close to three years I've been working on this story. And it's finally finished. Sorry about the less-then-happy ending. Sadly happily ever after didn't suit this tale. Ron will be ok, he always is!

I want to take a moment to thank all of you guys for reading and reviewing. Without you all I would have never took the effort to finish this. And it's been great fun hearing all your opinions and thoughts on the character and storyline.

--

Thank you….

goldenspringtime  
Midnight808  
Latanya Kassidy  
you-go-on-my-cookie  
jka1  
imakeeper  
booklover13920  
mambosnowchick  
indescribablyBee  
crazednthu  
theshygirl  
Jill BioSkop  
Melenna  
The Bloody Wretched  
SilverEmmie  
jadestonedreams  
IM NOT GOTH  
Chibi-Kari  
skinnyrita  
SilentScream  
XxAlicexX  
o5brownc  
Skrillex  
demonfaerie15  
Catri Howlman-Carthaki spy  
WhiteDragonHawke  
FairyChild1  
sexy-as-ron  
talley67  
Sorry Im Me  
Em3191  
sayneverdie  
Starhope27b  
Street Trash  
Silverlycan  
ProperT  
pheonixofthenight  
qwerty  
Grace Adreanna  
Phoenix Risen  
I Heart Ginny  
kamonkey  
Sickofseconds  
killerJack  
Prankster Born  
Angels-Giggles  
Aquarius-dreamer9924  
JaceDamian23  
Lile Arresty  
Bean  
dinah  
freak and shadows  
GlamourX3  
RdheadGirl  
sarah  
kira  
Broken yet Beautiful  
reets  
rosa  
anangryangel  
anime-lover4171  
kira-ron  
Alaramine  
Gelly Belly  
seanbiggerstaffrox  
Say No Evil  
Seawitch13

That is a list of ever single person who EVER wrote a review on this story. Here's to you my dears! The only reason I finished. Even though sometimes it took me forever and a day to get the next chapter up. **Dx** Bad me… And just know that although I didn't respond to all of you, I read every single review and I appreciate you taking the time to write them and I'm glad you all enjoyed my story.

Special thanks to: booklover13920 and indescribablyBee who stuck with me from the beginning through all the computer problems and endless excuses for late updates. (That had to be hard… **D:** ) Hugs to you!

**Much, much love to you all, and I hope you enjoyed it. -Elixier**


End file.
